Hannah Howell (16 page)

The water was cold, but Antonie did not care. She considered it a luxury to totally immerse herself and scrub herself clean. Since it might be her last chance for a good bath for a long time, she intended to fully enjoy it.

“I can see why Oro wants you,” Patricia murmured as she slipped into the pool.

Startled by the girl's quiet statement, Antonie just stared at Patricia. “What?"

“I said I can see why Oro wants you. And Royal. And probably most all the rest of the men around here."

Hearing the somewhat petulant note in Patricia's voice, Antonie returned most of her attention to getting clean. “You are silly."

“No, I'm not. They do. Now you've cast aside Royal and picked up Oro. You used Royal."

Glaring at the girl's stiff, slim back as Patricia marched out of the water, Antonie said coldly, “I did not use your brother."

“Ha! You were with him all the time, then you set your eyes on Oro and cast poor Royal aside.” Patricia's anger was revealed by her jerky movements as she dried herself and put on her clean clothes.

Antonie thought the girl's words were overly dramatic but they did succeed in making her angry. “The reason why I am not with your brother is none of your business,
chica,
but I did not use him. If you must throw that accusation at anybody, throw it at Royal. He takes me and does not hide the fact that I am his lover. That marks me. What does he give me in return for my innocence and so much else that I give him? Passion. That is all. Passion. No words of love. No promise of a future. Only passion. Now, who is using whom, eh?"

Patricia did not bother to answer, just grabbed up the bucket she had put her dirty clothes in to soak and marched away. Antonie cursed and rinsed the soap out of her hair. She was still annoyed when, a few minutes later, she emerged from the water and began to dry off. The girl had almost succeeded in ruining the pleasure of a bath.

Just as she tugged on her drawers, Antonie felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Inwardly, she cursed fluently as she realized that she had not been on her guard. She saw her knife and reached for it, only to have a booted foot reach it before she could, her wrists neatly lassoed. Even as she opened her mouth to call for Royal, a grubby hand was closed over it and another painfully gripped her hair, twisting until she was forced to her knees.

She stared up into the face of the man who crouched over her, grinning in a way that chilled her blood. It was Jesu Miller, a half-Anglo, half-Mexican who went to vicious extremes to win Raoul's favor. Antonie searched her mind frantically for some way to get loose, or to at least make enough noise to draw Royal's attention.

Royal straightened up from his relaxed slouch when Patricia marched out of the bushes. “Where's Antonie?"

“Just finishing up.” Patricia paused when it was clear that Royal was staying near the pool. “Well?"

“Well what?"

“Aren't you going to walk me back to the camp?"

“I'm waiting for Antonie."

“Oh, of course. Wait for Antonie. Everybody else does,” Patricia said darkly as she stomped away.

Trying to puzzle out his sister's mood, Royal watched her until she reached the camp. While in plain sight of the men in the camp, Patricia did not really need a guard. By the time she was back in camp, he gave up trying to figure out what was wrong with her and turned his attention back to guarding and waiting for Antonie.

Several long moments passed with no sight or sound of her. His stomach began to knot with tension as he waited. Finally, he decided that preserving her modesty was not worth ignoring the sense of danger that had come over him.

Cautiously, he crept forward. To avoid making much noise, he went through the covering brush on his stomach. He briefly mused that he was going to feel like a fool if she was all right. Wryly he admitted to himself that there was truth in the old adage that it was better to be safe than sorry.

When the clearing first came into view, he found himself struggling against acting immediately and rashly. The sight of Antonie half-dressed and caught firmly by a leering man had him aching to use his gun. It took him a moment to clear the fury from his brain enough to see that he had a real chance of hitting Antonie as well, for she was between him and her captor. He was going to have to be patient and wait for a clear shot.

“There, Juan's child,” Jesu sneered as he removed his hand then quickly gagged her, “now I can take you to Raoul. Ah, how he will praise Jesu for giving him this prize."

Antonie bit back a moan as he used her hair to pull her to her feet. She suddenly realized that she had a chance of escape now, however small. Before he could step out of reach or move behind her, she brought her knee up hard into his groin. He gave a soft cry of agony and doubled over. Using her bound hands as a fist, she swung at his head. As her fist came down, she caught the fleeting glint of a knife blade as he pulled the weapon from his boot. With a grunt, he fell forward, facedown on the ground. She hesitated to flee when she saw his body give a convulsive spasm then lie ominously still.

Hearing a sound, she whirled around expecting a compatriot of Jesu's. She closed her eyes briefly in relief when she saw Royal. When he cautiously turned Jesu over, Antonie gasped behind her gag. The man had fallen on the knife he had drawn. The weapon he had meant to use on her had neatly ended his own life.

“I should've known you could take care of yourself,” Royal said as he undid her bonds. “Who is it? Do you know?"

"Sí.
Jesu Miller. He was
loco."

She moved back to the water and rinsed her mouth to remove the taste of the filthy gag. It had been too close. Hearing Royal drag the body nearer to the undergrowth, she shivered. Jesu had been right. Raoul would have praised him highly. Antonie thanked God that Raoul would be disappointed this time.

“It was close,” Royal said quietly as he moved back to her side.

"Sí.
Very close."

“If Raoul got hold of you, he would kill you."

“Ah,
sí,
he would kill me.” She decided it was not necessary to tell him about Raoul's unique ways of killing his enemies.

Grasping her by the shoulders, Royal asked, “Are you sure you're all right?"

“I am not hurt."

The mere touch of his hands made her tremble, desire careening through her body. It had been over a month since they had made love, but she was a little puzzled at how desperate she was to hold him and be held by him. She was also a little afraid and tried to pull away from him. His grip tightened and when she met his gaze, she knew he had seen her need. As he lowered his mouth to hers the only protest she could manage was a somewhat frantic shaking of her head. He neatly stopped that by cupping her face in his hands and even that meek protest died the moment his mouth covered hers. She lost all urge to resist him as he hungrily kissed her and became an equal partner in the fierce coupling that ensued.

Her body still trembling faintly from the force of her release, Antonie stared dazedly at the man sprawled in her arms. They had not even bothered to get fully naked. His shirt was undone and her drawers were off but nothing else. It had been so fast and furious that she could remember little of it. However, as he eased the intimacy of their embrace, she had the chilling feeling that it had been a mistake.

“Can Oro give you that, Antonie?"

Cursing fluently, Antonie abruptly rose and started to dress. She should have fought whatever had driven her to go so mad in his arms. Instead, she had gone down as easily as any round-heeled piece of calico.

“Antonie, dammit,” Royal struggled to straighten out his clothing, “will you calm down?"

“I am supposed to take this insult with a smile? Let you call me a
puta
to my face?"

“I didn't call you a whore. You aren't being reasonable.” He reached for her but she slapped his hand away.

“Oro is not my lover."

“Well, I know you two haven't been together on the drive,” he began.

"Por Dios,
you do not listen. This was a mistake. It will not happen again. To lie with a man who thinks me a liar is to be no better than a
puta."

He cursed when she hurried away. The chance for a reconciliation had been in his hands and he had let it slip away. He should never have mentioned Oro's name, but the man was foremost in his thoughts at the moment.

As he made a quick check of the clearing to be sure nothing was left but the body, he thought about how adamant she was in her denial of a love affair with Oro. That she did not lie was clearly a strong point of pride with her. Slowly he began to wonder if he was wrong. She had never lied to him before. It was very probable that she was not lying now. As he started back to camp, he promised himself that he would strive to quell his possessive anger and look at things more closely.

“Such a dark face,” Tomás murmured as he sat down next to Antonie, “and so all by yourself. You sit this far away from the others because you are afraid the gun you clean will go off, eh?"

Antonie smiled crookedly and shook her head. “I had to do some thinking."

“What troubles you,
chica?
Talk to me. Sometimes other eyes can see the problem clearer."

Taking a deep breath and silently cursing the blush that flooded her face, she said softly, “I made love with Royal by a corpse."

“Ah. Jesu will be sorry he missed it. I made love beside a live husband once."

She was briefly diverted and surprised into a laugh. “How could you do that?"

“As I walked by this woman's house, she called to me, invited me to pleasure her as I had done before. I went to her window but I saw her husband in the bed and suggested that perhaps this was not a good time."

“Very wise."

"Sí,
but she said he was dead drunk, that nothing could wake him. She persuaded me to come in. Well, there I was going about my business when I see that her husband is awake. But, instead of killing me, he was inspired by my skill. He pushed me out of bed and took my place with his wife. I decided I would let them have some privacy and left."

“You are going to get shot one of these days,” she managed to say as she laughed.

“Only the earth lives forever.” He shook his head when the troubled look returned to her face. “I did not divert you enough."

“No. How could I do that? It is disgusting. Such disrespect for the dead."

“No,
querida,
and the dead like Jesu deserve no respect. You cared nothing for him so you were not mocking your grief."

“I don't know, Tomás. To do that with the dead only a few feet away,” she whispered, shock evident in her voice.

“Maybe that is why you did it."

“That makes no sense,
amigo."

"Sí,
it does. You faced death. You knew it and Royal knew it. What better way to prove to yourselves that you are alive?"

“You think that is why we acted so?"

“Some of the why. Maybe you would have only thought about it, except you have been apart for a long time. Sailors come home having fought the sea and won and they find a woman quick. Soldiers can love their women before they go to a battle, yet come home even a few hours later and have to have them again. They have survived and they want to prove it.

“I think, too, that the violence can be part of it. If there is a woman near the battle, she will probably be raped. How can a man take a woman at such a time, you wonder? When you fight, you face death, the blood races, eh?"

“Like it does when you're loving someone,” Antonie said quietly.

"Sí.
I am no rapist, but the times I have fought and faced death, if there was a willing woman near, I would have taken her even if I had needed to push the dead aside to make room. So? You and Royal are together again?"

“No. Only for that moment. He still thinks I lie when I say Oro is not my lover."

“Poor little one. And you cannot ignore that?"

“I will not lie with a man who thinks me a liar."

“That I can understand, but think on it well,
chica.
You are losing time with your man. You are tossing away chances to pull more than a fever from him. Be very sure that the price you are paying is not too high. I think that somewhere there has to be a compromise."

Grimacing, Antonie shifted in her saddle. She had never spent so many consecutive hours in the saddle before. Tomorrow she would return to driving the wagon for a while. Glancing at Patricia, she felt the girl would agree. Perhaps they could use a blanket or two to soften that seat. Antonie decided she was tired of hard saddles and the hard ground.

Royal and Cole rode by and Royal tipped his hat in greeting. He had not been so vicious with her since their impulsive lovemaking a week ago, but he still watched her constantly, especially when she was with Oro. The dark anger was disappearing from his face, however. She wished she could know why that was. It would be nice if it was because he was starting to believe her, but there was another possible reason, one which twisted her heart. Royal could simply have decided that he was no longer interested in her and was willing to let Oro take her off his hands.

“God, this dust is terrible."

Almost desperately, Antonie latched onto the diversion of Patricia's complaint. “It would be better up ahead a way."

“Yes, you're probably right. Oh, you don't need to come with me. You can go ride with someone else. Like Oro perhaps. Or is it my brother today?"

Antonie had to give the girl credit for persistence. No matter how often Patricia failed to get Oro's attention and failed to get a rise out of Antonie, the girl kept at it. It was very possible that Maria was right, that Patricia did love Oro. Mere infatuation would surely have withered beneath all Patricia had had to endure.

“It is you today. Do you forget? When you—how you say?—wheedled your way into coming along on the drive, it was decided that I would be your guard, that I would stay with you.” Antonie started to move forward.