Handcuffs and Lace 09 -She's Got Balls (3 page)

Chris grinned privately. Being forced to wear a dress, makeup, and tuck his parts emasculated him. Knowing Vin thought he looked like a guy despite that, pleased him.
“Tarp,” Vin called from somewhere down the hall.
“Yeah?”
“Pretty robe.”
Chris looked down at the huge floral imprint on puke green. At some point, his dick had slipped through the front of his boxers and poked its head from the folded material at the center of one gold-toned daisy.
His earlier blush drained away. Had Vin seen? Chris closed his eyes on a groan. Something told him he’d be left to wonder. “Goddamn it! That doesn’t look fucking desperate at
all
.”

Vin had been right. Chris had barely slicked on his gloss and straightened his skirt when the doorbell rang. And in the process, he made another discovery. Vin looked ridiculous in a suit and tie. They reached the front door about the same time.

“Lose the coat,” Chris said.
“Office guys wear suits,” Vin argued. His face took a stubborn cast.
“It looks stupid and fake on you. Take it off before I open the door,” Chris ordered in a

Vin shrugged out of his coat and draped it over the arm holding his briefcase. Chris grabbed it back, shook it gently and folded it back at the shoulders before re-draping it.
“Office guys take care of their shit and know how to hang their suit coats. I thought you were good at this stuff.”
Vin opened the door before Chris could say anymore. The smug look didn’t disappear as they faced the two ladies from the day before and another on the front step.
“Hi! Welcome to the neighborhood. I’m Doreen.” The tall blonde smiled widely at Chris.
“Welcome. I’m Carla. We saw you move in yesterday and had to do the neighborly thing and drop by. Is this a good time? We brought a coffee cake. And oregano,” the second woman sang brightly. “Sounded like you go through a lot of it. I grow mine.” Her red hair glittered in the sunlight with shades unnatural to human coloring.
“I gotta get to work,” Vin mumbled.
“That’s okay. It’ll be all girl talk anyway. We’ll just catch her up with the gossip.” Doreen’s stiff smile and cold eyes held no welcome for Vin. The others smiled woodenly too.
Chris bit his tongue to keep from laughing. “Guess you’d better go, Vinny.” Vin ducked his head and started out the door.
“Aren’t you going to kiss your wife goodbye?” Doreen asked.
Mercifully for Chris’ cock, Vin dropped a cursory kiss on his cheek and took off. Chris stood aside to let them pass. “You’ll have to excuse our moving mess and my husband. He’s not much of a talker.”
“Except to his girlfriend?” Carla gently squeezed Chris’ arm, her eyes liquid with understanding. “We heard the whole thing, honey. I’m so sorry.”
“You have to forgive Carla. She’s doesn’t hold back,” Doreen said, fondly.
Chris held a hand out to the third woman, who hadn’t spoken yet. “Thank you all for the welcome. I’m Christy.”
“Nina,” she said, smiling widely.
Chris motioned them to the living room and then set another pot of coffee on. This was almost too easy. Drug dealers that came to him? What’s the catch? The case file said Christy would get a referral from another inside agent, but felt too simple. What had they been told? And Vin hadn’t said anything about disappearing all day to a fictional office while Chris infiltrated the ring alone.
Yeah, he wanted the glory, but this front man shit felt more like solo work. Dresses, drag, and now the neighborhood? Fucking fantastic. Now he had to figure out female small talk for God knew how long until Vin decided he’d spent enough time at a bar or something and came home.
And what did Chris do? Housework? Fuck that! Laundry? Hell no. And he wasn’t making Vin’s bed either. He might go smell the pillow—but he
definitely
wasn’t making his fucking bed.
What the fuck did women talk about anyway? Why hadn’t he paid more attention to his sisters?
Chris set out the pot of coffee and several mugs. Every trip back into the living room was greeted with silence and large commercial smiles. They looked like toothpaste ads for daytime programming.
Your teeth can be sparkly and new too, with DentaGreat
. If it had been Vin smiling like that, it would have had a distinct, shit-eating quality to it.
Doreen got up to get plates, forks, and a knife. It was all very tea-party. He worked hard to keep his pinky crooked like Nina’s and nibble on a corner of the cake like Carla before setting it aside.
Chatter turned to gossip about babies and who was cheating on their wives—a not too subtle u-turn in bringing the conversation back to the fight between Vinny and Christy.
“Are you going to be okay? Does he ever hit you?” Carla asked.
He fought down the urge to defend Vin. Did he make something up? Would that make them more sympathetic or shut down communications for the drug bust by seeming weak?
“He’s hit you,” Nina said, interpreting Chris’ silence.
“Vinny gets a little worked up sometimes. He hasn’t hit me, exactly.”
“That’s fine, sweetie, you don’t have to tell us. We’re strangers, but you’ll come to trust us. If he lays a hand on you, we will take care of it,” Doreen said.
Chris had the distinct feeling he was being written off. That wouldn’t do. “Oh, don’t worry about me. Vinny is a pussycat most of the time. He lets me do pretty much whatever I want.”
A speculative gleam entered Doreen’s eyes. Carla grew quiet.
“I’m sorry. I owe you an apology.” Chris went with his gut instincts and kept talking. “Vinny likes things rough, but he hates upsetting me, which makes it convenient when I want something.”
He hoped he sent the women a sly smile. Having never seen his lips with gloss on them, he couldn’t say if it worked or not until interest caused Carla to lean forward.
“Like a new house in a new neighborhood with a garden,” he continued with a grin. Chris sighed dramatically. “He cheated on me once and it makes perfect leverage.”
Carla whooped. Nina grinned, and Chris caught the impressed nodding of Doreen agreeing with his conclusion.
“Christy, my husband and I are having our annual spring dinner party tomorrow night. Would you and Vinny like to join us?” Doreen asked.
The invitation came cautiously as though his answer mattered a great deal more than Doreen let on. He had no sense of what, just that this moment of networking could be critical to their
in
.
Chris leaned forward and flashed her a genuine smile. “We’d love to. Should I bake something?”
God, please no unless you want macaroni and cheese with tuna chunks
.
“Just yourselves.” Doreen stood. The others followed suit, so Chris rose too. “Girls, I’m sure Christy has things to get done today. It was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to tomorrow night.”
“Thank you for the welcome,” Chris answered.
“We’ll introduce you to the others at the party,” Nina told him.
Others. Excellent
. Vin could fucking eat Chris’ awesome-ass undercover abilities because that invite felt fucking significant. “Can’t wait.”
“Keep the plate until the cake is gone,” Doreen said as she left.
Carla laughed, “Yeah, it’s not like we don’t know where you live.”
Goosebumps rose up on his arms. The three women left laughing. Chris laughed too, trying to share the joke. He tried to shake off the foreboding.
Where the fuck was Vin?
* * * *
“Where the fuck is Vin?” Chris prowled the hallway hours later.
The microwave read ten thirty. Chris had long since shut all the drapes, changed out of his outfit after going to the grocery store and finding ways to be seen around the nearby community. He’d also washed all the makeup off his face this time and then decided a full shower was required to detox his body from woman smells.
He’d searched the Vin’s room, being careful to put things back the way he’d found them, too. Vin used a triple razor head instead of electric and wore trunk boxer shorts. His pillow smelled like the coconut shampoo he used and Vin preferred
sports scented
deodorant.
He knew exactly what the well-worn gray sweatpants felt like on Vin’s skin because Chris was wearing them. He didn’t want to risk the peek-a-boo incident a second time. If he couldn’t have his own pants, he’d use Vin’s.
Chris had
cooked
, damn Vin, and he was late for macaroni and cheese dinner with a side of chicken ramen and fruit cocktail.
Finally he heard the lock on the front door turn. Chris ducked behind the couch and out of view of the open door, not risking the chance someone would look in and see him, un-womaned. When the door shut and bolted, Chris bounded to his feet.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Chris put his hands on his hips.
Vin smiled slowly, tiredly. “Oh good, something new. You’re pissed.”
“You couldn’t have called or something? Couldn’t have told me this morning where you were going while I worked the case and schmoozed the neighborhood? Your dinner’s in the kitchen. It’s cold.”
“Hi, honey, I’m home,” Vin muttered. Propping the case on the entry table, he clicked it open and pulled out a file.
Chris ran a hand through his hair. “Whatever. Where were you all day?” he asked, biting back his annoyance. He circled the couch and motioned him toward the kitchen. Popping the ramen and macaroni in the microwave, he reheated the food and faced Vin.
“Running the case files. Cross-referencing. I.D. searches. Paperwork. Satellites don’t show any grow-house hot-spots. No buildings putting off the kind of heat signatures it takes to grow weed covertly,” he answered, tossing the file on the counter top.
Vin tugged at the knot on his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling both from his body and wadding them up on the counter. His white undershirt strained across his chest, taunting Chris with semi-transparency and flat, dark nipples beneath.
His mouth went dry. Dryer still when Vin pulled off the band holding his hair back. The microwave dinged and Chris gladly dealt with the food. His own bare chest made Chris’ hours in the gym and special training seem ineffective.
He’d look at the satellite pictures later. When there weren’t prettier things, like dark nipples and handsome men, to look at. And why hadn’t Vin
told
him he’d gone to research? Shouldn’t they have discussed it?
“You didn’t think I should know the plan this morning?” Chris asked.
“You had company.”
“Over coffee would have worked.”
“Wasn’t thinking about it then,” Vin said. He motioned to Chris’ pants. “My sweats?”
“All I have are girl things. Figured you could share.”
“The guy-look works for you.”
Chris shot him a dirty look.
“So do the sweats.”
Chris handed him the plate of warmed over pasta and a bowl of canned fruit. Vin looked from the food to Chris. So help him, if Vin laughed, Chris would scalp him. How, he didn’t know, but he’d do it.
Vin wisely kept from comment and took his food to the dining room. Chris grabbed a couple of beers and joined him, plopping down in the chair adjacent.
“Did you do each other’s hair?” Vin teased. He must have read something in Chris’ expression, because he let it drop into silence unanswered.
“Find out anything?” Chris asked.
Vin shook his head. “Thanks for dinner.”
They both looked at his plate. Vin’s gaze met his and they both started laughing.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m not much of a cook. There’s coffee cake, though. Doreen, Carla, and Nina were the women who came over this morning. By the way, we’ve been invited to Doreen’s house for a spring dinner party tomorrow night. Apparently they do it every year and they’re going to introduce us to more people.”
“Ah.”
“Trust me. This is a good thing. I get the feeling that I passed some kind of social test for women and they’re letting me in the club,” Chris explained.
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re invited too. But just so you know, I told them that you cheated on Christy once and have been trying to make it up to her ever since. Christy uses your guilt to get what she wants, yada, yada, yada, and you’re actually a sensitive teddy bear type.”
Vin nodded, scooped up another mouthful of macaroni and cheese.
What did it take to make the man talk
? Chris tried a different tack. “I think we should go casual, but not in jeans because I don’t think these people wear jeans. It’s like living in a gated community but without posted signs on how to behave and what to wear. I think I need a manicure. They all had perfect nails and soft hands. You think they could have noticed my hands when I shook theirs?”
“Probably.”
“Shit. I don’t have anything to wear for tomorrow night. Do you think I should pull out that blue dress with the high waist?”
Vin’s expression turned blank.
“The white one, maybe, with the lace shrug? That one buttons over my throat but opens to show a hint of cleavage,” Chris goaded.
“Uh…” Vin lifted his beer and sucked down several gulps.
Chris waited for him to finish, plastering a patient smile on his face and widening his eyes innocently.
“Sure,” Vin finally said, shrugging as he answered.
Absently, Chris scratched his arm and folded them on the table. The guy didn’t talk for anything. Not when freaked out, yelled at, insulted, or made uncomfortable.
Something
had to make Vin crack.
“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Chris asked.
“Takin’ the day off work to help you unpack.”
“What a guy.”
Vin frowned. He put his fork down and pushed the plate away. He’d eaten every bite.
Warmth spread beneath Chris’ breastbone. Pride and pleasure. “You want more?”
“No. I’m good.”
“Cake?”
“Save it for coffee tomorrow,” Vin suggested. He leaned onto the table too. “You still pissed at me?”
“No. I’m good,” Chris mirrored.
“Are you?” Vin’s eyes crinkled at the corners.
Ah, I’ve said something to amuse the giant again
. “What do you mean?”
“Can’t tell if you’re good or not, rookie.” Vin sat back in his chair. “Can you hack the party as a couple?”
“I can hold my own.”
“I don’t know. You wimped on the fight scene in the front yard,” Vin said, caging his words in doubt.
“I did not! I had you by the short hairs with the entire neighborhood for an audience.”
“I kissed you and you freaked out. We’re supposed to be married. What happens if I put my arm around you or pinch your ass at the party?” Vin asked.
Chris’ ass tingled at the suggestion. “One, you won’t be pinching my ass at a dinner party. It’s uncouth. And two—” God, he did
not
want to explain Vin’s kiss giving him a hard-on. “Breaking it off was all part of the rouse.”
“Sure it was.”
“It became part of the rouse when I made it part of the rouse this morning,” Chris defended.
“But you choked at the time.”
Not admitting to a hard-on. Damn uncomfortable getting turned on with your dick tucked
.
“I knew it. You choked,” Vin announced. “So what will you do when I make a pass at you during the party?”
“You want to make a pass at me?”
“You said I’d do anything for you and you use me to get what you want. Only a lovesick moron would be led around by a leash.”
Chris snorted. “Fine. Make a pass at me and see what happens.”
“Now?”
Well, that’s not exactly what he meant, but seeing the alarm in Vin’s body language egged Chris on. “My couple acting ability sucks and you plan on making a realistic pass at me during the party, right? If I’m so bad, don’t you want to make sure I don’t screw up the op?”
Vin squirmed.
Great. I’ve got the hots for my homophobic partner
. “Just pretend I’m in drag, all right? I’m not squeamish. Or pretend I’m a chick or something. Whatever floats your boat.”
“Should brush my teeth first,” Vin mumbled.
Now we’re getting somewhere