Hamlet (14 page)

HAMLET
    Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to

you,
trippingly
on the tongue: but if you
mouth
²
it, as many

of your players do, I had
as lief
³
the town-crier had spoke my

lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus,

but use all gently; for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as I

may say, the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and

beget a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it offends

me to the soul to see a
robustious
periwig-pated
⁸
fellow tear a

passion to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the

groundlings
, who for the most part
are capable of
¹⁰
nothing

but inexplicable
dumb shows
¹¹
and noise: I could have such a

fellow whipped for o’erdoing
Termagant
¹²
: it out-Herods

Herod
¹³
. Pray you avoid it.

A PLAYER
    I
warrant
¹⁴
your honour.

HAMLET
    Be not too tame neither, but let your own
discretion
¹⁵

be your tutor: suit the action to the word, the word to the

action, with this special observance: that you o’erstep not

the
modesty
of nature; for anything so overdone is
from
¹⁸
the

purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first and now,

was and is to hold as ’twere the mirror up to nature, to show

virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very

age and body of the time his form and
pressure
²²
. Now this

overdone or
come tardy off
, though it make the
unskilful
²³

laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the
censure
²⁴
of

the which one
must in your
allowance
²⁵
o’erweigh a whole

theatre of others. O, there be players that I have seen play,

and heard others praise, and that highly — not to speak it

profanely — that, neither having the accent of Christians

nor the gait of Christian, pagan, nor no man, have so

strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of nature’s

journeymen
³¹
had made men and not made them well, they

imitated humanity so
abominably
³²
.

A PLAYER
    I hope we have reformed that
indifferently
³³
with us,

sir.

HAMLET
    O, reform it altogether. And let those that play your

clowns speak no more than is set down for them, for there be

of
³⁷
them that will themselves laugh, to set on some quantity

of
barren
³⁸
spectators to laugh too, though in the meantime

some
necessary question
³⁹
of the play be then to be

considered: that’s villainous, and shows a most pitiful

ambition in the fool that
uses
⁴¹
it. Go, make you ready.—

How now, my lord, will the king hear this piece of work?

POLONIUS
    And the queen too, and that
presently
⁴³
.

HAMLET
    Bid the players make haste.—

Will you two help to hasten them?

BOTH
    We will, my lord.

HAMLET
    What ho, Horatio!

HORATIO
    Here, sweet lord, at your service.

HAMLET
    Horatio, thou art e’en as just a man

As e’er my conversation coped withal
⁵⁰
.

HORATIO
    O, my dear lord—

HAMLET
    Nay, do not think I flatter,

For what advancement may I hope from thee

That no revenue hast but thy good spirits

To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flattered?

No, let the
candied
⁵⁶
tongue lick absurd pomp,

And
crook
the
pregnant
⁵⁷
hinges of the knee

Where
thrift
⁵⁸
may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?

Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice

And could of men distinguish, her
election
⁶⁰

Hath
sealed
⁶¹
thee for herself, for thou hast been

As one, in
suffering
⁶²
all, that suffers nothing,

A man that fortune’s
buffets
⁶³
and rewards

Hath ta’en with equal thanks: and blest are those

Whose
blood
⁶⁵
and judgement are so well commingled

That they are not a pipe for fortune’s finger

To sound what
stop
⁶⁷
she please. Give me that man

That is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him

In my heart’s
core
⁶⁹
, ay, in my heart of heart,

As I do thee. Something too much of this.

There is a play tonight before the king:

One scene of it comes near the circumstance

Which I have told thee of my father’s death:

I prithee, when thou see’st that act afoot,

Even with
the very comment of thy soul
⁷⁵

Observe mine uncle: if his
occulted
⁷⁶
guilt

Do not itself
unkennel
⁷⁷
in one speech,

It is a
damnèd
⁷⁸
ghost that we have seen,

And my imaginations are as
foul
⁷⁹

As
Vulcan’s stithy.
Give him
heedful note
⁸⁰
,

For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,

And after we will both our judgements join

In
censure of his seeming
⁸³
.

HORATIO
    Well, my lord.

If he
steal aught
⁸⁵
the whilst this play is playing

And scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

HAMLET
    They are coming to the play: I must be
idle
⁸⁷
.

Get you a place.

KING
    How
fares
⁸⁹
our cousin Hamlet?

HAMLET
    Excellent, i’faith, of the
chameleon’s dish
⁹⁰
: I eat the

air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed
capons
⁹¹
so.

KING
    I
have nothing with
⁹²
this answer, Hamlet: these

words are
not mine
⁹³
.

HAMLET
    No, nor mine now.— My lord, you

played once i’th’university, you say?

POLONIUS
    That I did, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

HAMLET
    And what did you enact?

POLONIUS
    I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed
i’th’Capitol
⁹⁸
:

Brutus killed me.

HAMLET
    It was a
brute
part
of him to kill so capital a
calf
¹⁰⁰

there.— Be the players ready?

ROSENCRANTZ
    Ay, my lord: they
stay upon your patience
¹⁰²
.

GERTRUDE
    Come hither, my good Hamlet, sit by me.

HAMLET
    No, good mother, here’s
metal more attractive
¹⁰⁴
.

POLONIUS
    O, ho! Do you mark that?

HAMLET
    Lady, shall I
lie in your lap
¹⁰⁶
?

OPHELIA
    No, my lord.

HAMLET
    I mean, my head upon your lap?

OPHELIA
    Ay, my lord.

HAMLET
    Do you think I meant
country matters
¹¹⁰
?

OPHELIA
    I think nothing, my lord.

HAMLET
    That’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs.

OPHELIA
    What is, my lord?

HAMLET
    
Nothing
¹¹⁴
.

OPHELIA
    You are merry, my lord.

HAMLET
    Who, I?

OPHELIA
    Ay, my lord.

HAMLET
    O, God,
your only jig-maker
¹¹⁸
. What should a man do

but be merry? For look you how cheerfully my mother looks,

and my father died within’s two hours.

OPHELIA
    Nay, ’tis twice two months, my lord.

HAMLET
    So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I’ll

have a
suit of sables
¹²³
. O heavens! Die two months ago, and not

forgotten yet? Then there’s hope a great man’s memory may

outlive his life half a year: but, by’r lady, he must build

churches, then, or else shall he
suffer not thinking on
¹²⁶
, with

the
hobby-horse
¹²⁷
, whose epitaph is ‘For, O, for, O, the hobby-

horse is forgot.’

OPHELIA
    What means this, my lord?

HAMLET
    Marry, this is
miching malicho
¹³⁰
: that means mischief.

OPHELIA
    
Belike
this show imports the
argument
¹³¹
of the play.

HAMLET
    We shall know by these fellows: the players cannot

keep
counsel
¹³³
, they’ll tell all.

OPHELIA
    Will they tell us what this show meant?

HAMLET
    Ay, or any
show
that you’ll show him:
be not you
¹³⁵

ashamed to show, he’ll not shame to tell you what it means.

OPHELIA
    You are
naught
¹³⁷
, you are naught: I’ll mark the play.

PROLOGUE
    For us, and for our tragedy,

     Here stooping to your clemency,

     We beg your hearing patiently.

HAMLET
    Is this a prologue, or the
posy of a ring
¹⁴¹
?

OPHELIA
    ’Tis brief, my lord.

HAMLET
    As woman’s love.

PLAYER KING
    Full thirty times hath
Phoebus’ cart
¹⁴⁴
gone round

     
Neptune’s salt wash
and
Tellus’ orbèd ground
¹⁴⁵
,

     
And thirty dozen moons with
borrowed sheen
¹⁴⁶

     About the world have times twelve thirties been,

     Since love our hearts and
Hymen
¹⁴⁸
did our hands

     Unite commutual in most sacred
bands
¹⁴⁹
.

BAPTISTA
    So many journeys may the sun and moon

     Make us again count o’er ere love be done!

     But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,

     So far from cheer and from your former state,

     That I
distrust
¹⁵⁴
you: yet, though I distrust,

     
Discomfort
¹⁵⁵
you, my lord, it nothing must,

     For women’s fear and love
holds quantity
¹⁵⁶
,

     
In neither aught, or in extremity
¹⁵⁷
.

     Now, what my love is,
proof
¹⁵⁸
hath made you know,

     And
as my love is sized, my fear is so
¹⁵⁹
.

PLAYER KING
    Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too:

     My
operant
powers my functions
leave to do
¹⁶¹
.

     And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,

     Honoured, beloved: and haply one as kind

     For husband shalt thou—

BAPTISTA
    O,
confound
¹⁶⁵
the rest!

     Such love must needs be treason in my breast:

     In second husband let me be accurst!

     
None
¹⁶⁸
wed the second but who killed the first.