Half Life (16 page)

 
“
No,
”
he cries as she takes another step.

  In blind panic he reaches out, grabs her by the arm and yanks her away from the edge with such force she falls over, causing her to scream.  Two men who are walking nearby misinterpret the scene and rush over.

 
“
Let her go,
”
snarls one of the men.

  They rugby-tackle JD to the ground.

 
“
Get off me you idiots,
”
he yells, desperately trying to free himself.  Over the shoulder of one of the men pinning him down he sees Rosie pick herself up and walk back to the edge of the cliff.

 
“
Rosie, no.
”
    Lashing out with his fists he catches one of the men square in the face, knocking him sideways and kicks the other in the groin, crumpling him up into a heap.  Jumping to his feet JD dives at Rosie and grabs her hand just as one of her feet meets empty air.

 
“
Let me go,
”
she shrieks, writhing furiously in his grip. 

  He drags her back onto solid ground. 
“
If you go I go too.
”

  She stops fighting and stares up at him wide-eyed. 
“
You don
’
t mean that.
”

 
“
I do.  Without you I have nothing.
”

  Her mouth opens and closes.  She has no words.

  They are both distracted by the sound of a car engine and they see a blue Saab climbing its way up the hill, an ambulance bringing up the rear.

 
“
You
’
re parents are coming,
”
he says. 
“
Better make up your mind.
”

 
“
You
’
re not serious,
”
she exclaims, frantically trying to pull her hand away but his grip is like iron.

  He takes a step closer to the edge and looks down, fighting against the wave of dizziness the sheer drop brings on.

 
“
I am,
”
he tells her determinedly.

  Rosie
’
s eyes fill with tears. 
“
Please let me go and get on with your life.
”

 
“
You are my life.
”

  The car and ambulance pull up nearby and Rosie
’
s parents jump out and stare at the scene with horror.

 
“
You
’
re not going to let them see you throw yourself off a cliff are you?
”
he says gently.  Seeing her waver he presses home his advantage. 
“
Stop this now, please.
”

  Her shoulders slump with defeat. 
“
I will.  On one condition.
”

 
“
Anything.
”

 
“
You put me back in the hospital.
”

  He shakes his head negatively. 
“
No.  You
’
re coming home with me.
”

 
“
I appreciate what you
’
ve been trying to do but it
’
s not working.
”

 
“
It is.  You
’
re rational now.
”

 
“
Rational?
”
she repeats incredulously. 
“
I just tried to throw myself off a cliff.  What are you going to do, spend the rest of your life pandering to my delusions?
”

 
“
If I have to.
”

  A sob rips from her throat and she touches his face tenderly. 
“
I love you so much JD but that
’
s no life for you.  Put me back in the hospital, forget all about me and get on with your life with our children.  Please.  Do it for me.
”

  He takes in a deep shuddering breath and presses the palm of her hand to his lips. 
“
I can
’
t be without you.
”

 
“
You have to. 
“
I
’
m a
…
,
”
she pauses to gather her strength to speak the words that still horrify her even now, two years after her diagnosis,
“…
paranoid schizophrenic and if you don
’
t do as I ask I swear I will end it all here and now.  For all of us.
”

  She snatches her hand from his and takes a step back, so one foot is in mid air.  Her mother
’
s scream carries up the hill towards them but Rosie forces herself to ignore it.

 
“
Alright I promise, I
’
ll take you back to the hospital,
”
JD exclaims fearfully.

  She nods and steps back onto terra firma.  He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her to him, careful to maintain a tight hold on her.

 
“
You promised and you
’
ve never broken a promise to me yet.
”

 
“
I wont,
”
he croaks, shattered emotionally and physically.

 
“
Thank you,
”
she says, resting her head on his shoulder.

  Together they walk down the hill towards the ambulance, past the two bemused hikers. 

 
“
Rosie,
”
cries her mother, flinging her arms around her neck.

 
“
I
’
m sorry Mum,
”
she weeps.

  While the two women cling to each other JD
’
s father-in-law approaches him.

 
“
What did I tell you?
”
Harry scolds quietly.

 
“
Sorry.  I thought I was helping.
”

  Harry
’
s expression softens when he sees how stricken his son-in-law is. 
“
You
’
ve done everything you can for her but she needs help you can
’
t give.
”

 
“
She made me promise that I
’
d put her back in that place.  She doesn
’
t even want me to visit her there.
”

 
“
Perhaps she
’
s right.
”

  JD looks appalled. 
“
She
’
s my wife.
”

 
“
Not anymore she
’
s not.  No husband could have done more.  It
’
s time to let her go.
”

  JD looks at the woman he
’
s shared twelve years of his life with, who has born his two daughters and feels his heart ripped from his chest.  He could no more turn his back on her than he could cut off his own arm. 

 
“
How is she?
”
JD asks the nurse anxiously.  He
’
s managed to keep his promise to Rosie for six months but he can
’
t stand it any longer.  He has to see her.

  She regards him sympathetically. 
“
I
’
m afraid she
’
s not responded to any treatment.  She
’
s almost lost contact with reality altogether.
”

  Her heart goes out to him when the tears well in his eyes.

 
“
Can I see her?
”

 
“
Okay but it
’
s unlikely she
’
ll know you.
”

  He just nods at this comment, unable to speak.  Following the nurse into the room he pauses in the doorway as he sees Rosie sat at a table reading a magazine.

 
“
Rosie, you have a visitor,
”
says the nurse.

  She looks up and smiles, looking beautiful as ever.  Her short dark hair is now shoulder-length, where it was before she
’
d hacked it off with the scissors. 
“
Hello.
”

 
“
Hi,
”
he begins uncertainly. 
“
My name
’
s JD.
”

 
“
What does that stand for?
”

 
“
James Daniel.
”

 
“
That
’
s a nice name.  Are you a patient here?
”

 
“
No, just visiting.
”

  She regards him thoughtfully. 
“
Have we met before?  You look familiar.
”

  For a moment any response is choked from his throat by the violent pain her words cause, seeing his beautiful brilliant wife reduced to this.  It
’
s hard to believe she
’
d been a successful journalist, an amazing mother and loving wife. 

 
“
Perhaps you
’
ve seen me around here?
”
he says.

 
“
Probably.  So what do you do?
”

 
“
I
’
m a lawyer.
”

 
“
Are you married?
”

  He glances at the nurse for help, who nods her head.

 
“
Yes.  We have two daughters.
”

 
“
What are their names?
”

  JD staggers back slightly as though struck, struggling to process what he
‘
s hearing.  It
’
s just too much.

 
“
Are you okay?
”
frowns Rosie.

 
“
Just
…
feeling a little dizzy.
”

  She gets to her feet to assist him. 
“
Sit down.  Can I get you some water?
”

 
“
Please.
”

  Rosie pours him a glass from the jug on the table and he accepts it from her with shaking hands before taking an eager sip.

 
“
Better?
”
she says, kneeling on the floor before him.

  He looks down at her and nods.  As she catches his eye she freezes, as though she has just realised something groundbreaking.

 
“
When I look at you I think of water, a waterfall.
”

 
Oh God she
’
s remembering the last time we were together,
he thinks.

 
“
I see you kneeling before me holding out a ring,
”
she continues, brow furrowing in concentration. 
“
Why am I seeing that?
”

  He can
’
t help but smile at the memory.  Once again he glances up at the nurse, who nods encouragingly.

 
“
Don
’
t you remember?
”
he says to Rosie.