Gypsy Girl and Horse Lovin' Boys (8 page)

“He’s not on his own, is he?”

“If he was, I would have been far more pushy. Our 4-H leader is helping him. She’s great for beginners. I have been giving him tips so he can do even better.” Noah rubbed my back and then pushed me gently forward to make me lean over. He moved my hair over my shoulder. It tickled and gave me a shiver. He drew letters on my back. I closed my eyes trying to picture what he was writing. The only thing I knew for sure was a heart. I didn’t get the letters the first or second time. Then he shortened it. N heart S. I hugged his knee with one arm. He drew pictures on my back for a while. When he stopped, I leaned back against his chest and he held me while we watched the rest of the movie. He kissed my forehead and played with my hair. I pushed all thoughts of Josh out of my mind.

Noah stood up and stretched, touching the Caravan roof when the movie was over. “I have an early morning if I want to try and beat Kelly.”

“It’s only nine.” I stood and wrapped my arms around his middle.

“I know.” He squeezed me against his chest. “I also don’t want Josh to suspect the worst about us. My parents are coming tomorrow and he likes getting dirt on people to use against them. Usually it’s never me. Right now I don’t know if he’s still mad at us. If you want to meet me in the morning, we can work on your horse fear. That will make my day better, starting it with you.” He kissed my forehead. That was never going to get old.

I closed my eyes, buried my face in his shirt, and inhaled. I loved the way he smelled. I didn’t know if he wore cologne or deodorant. Whatever it was, it smelled really good and manly. “What time?”

“Eight?”

“Why so early? It never quiets down here until midnight. I’ll do it though.” I looked up at him and smiled.

He took advantage of the opportunity to kiss my mouth again. We kissed for around five very long minutes before we reluctantly said goodnight

Wednesday
 

I carefully crawled over Cessie so I didn’t wake her that morning. Waiting outside the barn, I texted Noah to tell him where to find me. He was there in moments, kissing me as he took me by the hand before we walked to Ezra’s stall. Flutters and fears. Weird sensation. I had to admit I was proud of myself. I had already come a long way conquering my fears. I focused on Noah all the way down the massive center of the barn and mentally blocked out the horses that came into view. The barn was peaceful with only a few kids tending their horses, which made it easier for me to manage my fears without all the activity to stimulate my anxiety.

“I almost don’t even know this person holding my hand today. I can’t even tell you’re scared.” Noah smiled at me with admiration.

“Don’t let me fool you. I still am.” I jumped when a horse unexpectedly poked its head out of its stall. I clung to his arm and soon we were in front of Ezra’s door.

“Can I get you to come inside today?” He greeted his horse affectionately and made sure I greeted her too.

My heart raced and it jumped into my throat when he unlatched the stall door and didn’t let go of my hand. I pulled back, shaking my head. He closed the door and stood behind me with his arm around my waist. His chin rested on my shoulder as he held me tight against his chest and moved for the door again. I gripped his arm that held my waist. I told myself over and over that I would be fine. I closed my eyes as he moved me into the stall and I turned my face to the side, against Noah’s shoulder.

He spoke to me softly and kept kissing me, “You’re standing next to Ezra now.”

I trembled when I opened my eyes. The horse’s shoulder was right in front of me.

“You have to breathe.” He laughed at me.

I gasped for air and pressed back against Noah when Ezra turned her head and nudged him for a treat. He pulled one out of his pocket and held out his hand. Ezra lazily crunched on a carrot as she swung her head back toward the stall door.

I swallowed hard and blinked back tears. “I’m just fine. Quit being silly,” I whispered.

“Touch her shoulder or her back. I have you.” Noah took my hand and pressed it against Ezra’s side.

Once my hand was there and I could feel the soft sleek fur and muscle, I was a little braver. My heart was still beating in panic mode. I stopped pressing my back against Noah and fixated on my hand where it was. If I focused on my hand, I couldn’t see the whole horse. For some reason that made touching Ezra easier. Until she moved. I pressed back against Noah again. He laughed and it wasn’t mean at all. He kept encouraging me.

I still trembled after I finally stopped jumping when Ezra moved. I couldn’t believe it, I was petting Ezra without help!

Noah handed me a comb to fix her mane.

I worked on that while he brushed her.

Noah gave me playful side-glance when he took the comb and wrapped his arms around me. He didn’t let go as he made me walk backwards until my back was pressed against the wall. “You’re in a stall with a horse and you’re still alive.” He leaned against my body and kissed me hard.

Ezra nudged Noah and I couldn’t go anywhere. He pushed her head away and she moved. I relaxed because wanting to make out with Noah was canceling out all fears.

“Noah, are you here?” Josh poked his head in the stall and when he saw the two of us stuck together, he backed away. “Sorry.”

“Hey, Josh, wait.” Noah let me go and ran off to chase after him.

I wasn’t just mortified over Josh seeing us, I was standing in the stall … alone … with Ezra. Panic built up to explosive levels in my chest. I squeezed my eyes and fanned my hands to suppress the scream. I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself. Kelly could be around.

Ezra lowered her head as she stepped closer to me.

“No … Noah,” I whispered. “Come back.” I held my hands up to protect myself when Ezra stopped just inches away. “Pretend there’s a door there. Between me and you.” I slowly rested my hand between her eyes. “I’m all alone with you and I’m okay.”

Noah threw open the stall door with Josh on his heels. Ezra lazily moved away.

“I’m so sorry.” Noah looked me over from head to toe.

Dazed and shaking uncontrollably, I grabbed Josh’s arm. “I was alone with a horse and I lived!” I said with wide eyes and I checked my chest to make sure my heart hadn’t escaped.

The boys laughed at me.

I attacked Noah with a hug. “But don’t forget about me like that again. I might not survive.” I wiped under my eyes.

Josh looked out of sorts. Maybe he wasn’t sure whether he should go or he was trying to decide if he was still mad at us or maybe he was embarrassed. What made me feel worse, I was likely the one responsible for him having all those feels. I needed to make things better.

“I haven’t met your horse yet.” I rested my fingers lightly on his arm.

“You
are
brave today. I can’t believe you want to meet two horses.” Josh smiled. However, it wasn’t his usual good-natured one.

“Well, I don’t think I want to get in another stall today, but I do want to meet your horse. I plan on watching you guys today in between shows.”

“Josh, you should take her. I have to take care of Ezra before Mom and Dad get here.” Noah nodded for us to go and busied himself with brushing his horse. He smiled warmly at me when Josh unlatched the stall door. He was giving me my chance to patch things up on my own.

I clung to Josh’s arm as we left Ezra’s stall. More kids were tending horses in the main hall than when I arrived. We passed by a few of them and I hovered even closer to Josh’s shoulder, gripping his arm with both hands, wondering what I got myself into.

“Here we are. This is Shasta.” Josh leaned on the half door. His horse was caramel brown except for its hindquarters where he was dappled with white and brown spots that looked like big freckles. “He was Noah’s. I bought this guy after he trained him. I worked all summer last year to earn enough. He still lives at Noah’s house. But he’s mine. We’ve spent a lot of time riding horses this year.” Josh pressed his fingernail into the wood of the stall door. He wouldn’t look at me.

Shasta chomped on hay at the far end of the stall. The horse’s distance was far enough so I could scoot closer to Josh all on my own. I ducked my head lower to try to get him to look at me. “I’m sorry.” I rubbed his arm. He still wouldn’t look at me. I tilted his chin so he would have to. “I still want to be your friend. If you don’t want to, I understand.” I would have to gather courage I didn’t think I had if he asked me to leave. I wasn’t prepared to walk through the barn without the boys’ protection.

“Friend is a bad word coming from a girl I like more than that.” Josh sighed, closed his eyes, and covered my hand with his.

I didn’t know what to say. My heart hurt for him though. He turned away, rubbed his eye under his glasses, and stepped into the stall with Shasta.

He grabbed the horse’s halter and moved him towards the stall door. “Now Shasta, I want you to meet this really nice girl that is very scared of horses. Your impression is very important, so be nice. We want her to stick around.” He held the horses head over the stall so I could pet him.

Still tentative and a little shaky, I didn’t need anyone to help me touch Shasta. I rubbed his face all the way down to his upper lip. The lip was the softest thing I’d ever felt.

“Nice, Shasta. You’ve won her heart. Now tell me how you did it?” He moved the horse’s mouth near his ear. “That’s not fair. That’s what they all say that it’s ‘their best kept secret’. I guess I’ll never know.” He shook his head in mock disappointment as he brushed his horse.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and gripped the stall door. “What time do you compete today?”

“Early, one of the first. I think it’s twelve.”

“I think I can come. I’ll bring Cessie too.”

“That’ll be nice. My family can’t come for any of the competitions. They work.” He paused with the brush in the air and looked at me. “If you’re trying to make me feel better by coming, you don’t have to.”

“I really want to. I like watching horses a lot, from a great distance. I can handle it fine when I’m safely in the center of the bleachers. I want to.” I nodded emphatically. I could be overdoing it.

“Okay. I compete against Bree and Rachel. It should be uneventful in the bleachers today. Kelly and Noah compete a little later so they’ll be busy too. Noah has one event that Kelly isn’t in so hopefully that one will be a given for him. A good day to watch.”

“I’ll come over during our breaks for sure.” I checked the time on my phone. “I have to go before Cessie finds out where I’ve been. Will you walk me out?”

“Sure.” Josh tossed the brush in a bucket. Horses were coming and going all around us. I did my best to walk without hanging on Josh on the way out. However, one of the horses was unruly, prancing in a wide circle, pulling against the girl that was holding the lead rope.

Noah darted out of his stall to help. Josh grabbed me by the waist and pulled me out of the way. I hung on his arm and held it tight the rest of the way out. I couldn’t help watching over my shoulder as Noah reprimanded the horse. It took no time for him to regain control and lead the horse easily back to a stall.

Safely out of the barn, I was about to let go of Josh’s arm when I spotted the creepy carnie from the night before leaning against a building as if he was waiting for me. I knew Josh needed to leave to get ready when the carnie looked right at me.

My hand went to Josh’s, holding it tight not wanting to let go or say see you later.

“What is it?”

“Umm … I was just wondering if you’d walk me back.” I slowed until I barely shuffled on the gravel path.

“There are no horses over here.”

“I know.” I made sure I was a little behind his shoulder.

Puzzled, Josh looked at me before looking in the direction where my gaze was fixated. “Is there a reason that guy is making you uncomfortable?”

I didn’t say a word as I squeezed his hand and arm tighter. He covered my hand with his as he walked me home.

“As soon as we pass him, I’ll be fine. Just make sure he doesn’t follow me,” I whispered in his ear.

“Okay.”

When we passed the carnie, he hollered, “New boyfriend today? So will it be my turn tomorrow?”

I turned my head against Josh’s shoulder.

“I should hit him.” He took an assertive step towards the carnie. I wouldn’t let him leave my side.

“They’re just words. They only matter when you let them mean something. I didn’t hear anything.” I smiled the best I could. It was a pathetic effort, though. “Thank you.”

I hugged him when we finally reached the Caravan. He held onto me and inhaled next to my neck. I squeezed my eyelids shut. I did the same thing to Noah whenever we said goodbye.

“I will see you soon. Do well today. I will be whispering cheers for you in the bleachers.” I let him go and backed away, checking for the carnie. He was gone.

I stayed in the doorway as Josh slowly walked away. When he turned, I waved. He waved back before slouching with his hands in his pockets on his way back to the horse barn.

Sitting in the doorway and hugging my knees, I pressed my cheek against my kneecap and wondered what I was going to do about Josh.

I was already exhausted as I dressed for the show and prodded Cessie to get ready too. With plenty of time before our first performance, I asked Mom what else I needed to do.

“These boys are a mixed blessing. You’re fired up to help and yet late when I need you most.” She extended the shade over the stage.

“I’ll try not to be late again. I’m watching Josh this time. I’m still working on fixing things. He’s almost over being mad at Noah and he doesn’t have any family to come watch him at all for his first real horse competition.”

“All right. Just be back on time.”

“We will.” I grabbed Cessie’s wrist and headed out, crossing the field to the bleachers.

“I thought I would get more time around the horses.” Cessie settled in beside me on a bench. “You guys promised.”

“Maybe tonight we can. You weren’t feeling good last night so that’s not my fault. They’ve been getting ready to compete so they’ve been busy.”

We arrived before Josh and his group entered the arena. It wasn’t like Noah’s competition where they performed one at a time. All the competitors came in at once and it was like follow the leader around the arena. Maybe it would finish early enough so I could watch the award ceremony. Josh gripped the reins and was rather intense while he kept rubbing his other hand on his thigh.

Josh spotted me when he passed by and he smiled a little. He was close to coming around again when he adjusted in the saddle to sit up taller, pushed his shoulders back, and relaxed his hands. Bree and Rachel were fidgety in their saddles too. I leaned forward to see who was nearby that might have straightened up Josh.

Noah stood next to the fence with Ezra behind him as he watched Josh intently. If it weren’t for Ezra and all the other horses nearby, I would have gone over to say hi. I kept an eye on him until he looked over at the bleachers and I waved once he finally did. He waved back briefly before he focused his attention on Josh again.

I leaned back on the bleacher bench behind me to get comfortable.

Bree’s horse sidestepped away from the fence. She struggled to get her horse back in line. Josh was behind her and had to slow his horse. Keeping his cool, he passed Bree while she fought to get her horse under control.

I sure wished I knew more about horse competitions. I couldn’t tell at all what the judges were looking for. I only hoped for the best for Josh.

At the end, all the competitors lined up their horses side by side. It was quiet for a long time while the judges walked stony faced around each horse and spoke to each rider before going to the next one.

They finally started giving out awards to the eight riders in the arena. They started with sixth place. It went to Rachel. Cessie grabbed onto my arm as they read out fifth and fourth. Then third. They called Josh!

He was completely surprised as they handed him his ribbon. They never called Bree. She sat stiff in her saddle as she kicked her horse to leave the arena with the others. Even though she had been mean to me with the pictures and videos, I felt bad for her.