Guilty of Love (43 page)

The women alternated between sobs,
hugs, hiccups, and, “I love you.” Finally, Cheney pulled away and
smiled. “Mom, Parke and I are engaged.”

“
Are you happy?” Gayle
smiled back.

“
I have no right to be as
happy as I am.”

“
I owe you an explanation.”
Gayle sighed. “We had a family crisis that ripped our family apart
while you were in your second year at Duke.”

“
I didn’t know. How come no
one told me?”

“
We didn’t want to upset
you, plus, it was personal.”

“
I thought my situation was
too personal for family, too,” Cheney stated with an accusatory
edge.

Gayle pinched her lips together in
embarrassment, showcasing the dimples she passed on to Cheney.
“Rainey’s girlfriend, Shanice was four months pregnant when they
got into an argument and broke up. Your father and I tried to
encourage Rainey to work it out, but he wouldn’t, stating he
wouldn’t allow Shanice to use their baby to threaten him. To make a
long story short, when Shanice saw Rainey on a date with another
girl, she aborted their child, just like that.” Gayle snapped her
fingers. “We lost our first grandbaby.”

“
Two abortions in one
family,” Cheney whispered.

“
Yes.” She nodded. “Rainey
went from devastated to ballistic. We barely survived when two
years later—”

“
Then I got
pregnant.”

“
Your father became
suspicious when you wouldn’t come home or allow us to visit.
Fearing drug use or worse, Roland contacted a fellow physician who
snooped around North Carolina’s hospital admissions and accessed
your file. We couldn’t say anything to you because we had violated
your privacy, but pure embarrassment triggered your father’s anger.
We had hoped you would tell us, but you never did. I’m so
sorry.”

“
Daddy discussed my
condition with Rainey and Janae?”

“
He dropped hints, which
your brother and sister never got. When you moved back home, your
father told them as a way to hurt you for hiding it from
us.”

“
Mother, I did have a right
to my privacy.”

“
True, but your dad was
outraged because, again, we had been cheated out of another
grandchild. I’m sorry, Cheney. We should’ve been there for you
instead of alienating you. Why didn’t you call us? Why?”

“
At that time, I was caught
in a place between heaven, having a baby, and hell, uncovering
Larry’s true intentions.” Cheney’s head was spinning. “I can’t
believe what my family did! My own family kept my twin’s business
from me, yet was privy to mine. Maybe, if I had known about
Rainey’s situation, my outcome would’ve been different.”

“
I guess we made you bear
the guilt of what Shanice did to Rainey and our family. I’m so
sorry.”

Her mother stayed for hours until Mrs.
Beacon brought Kami back asleep. Drained, Gayle stood and hugged
Cheney, asking for patience as the family healed.

An hour later, the memories of their
conversation still lingered when Parke called. “Hey, babe, I’m on
my way back. I saw a few lights still on. Is something wrong?” his
voice was on the edge of panic. “Is everything okay?”

“
Not really, I just
couldn’t sleep with Kami leaving in the morning.”

“
I wish we could keep her.”
He sighed. “I called Wilma about letting Kami stay indefinitely as
our foster child or us adopting her, but Wilma said the agency had
to follow procedures and other children are waiting to take her
place.” They both were silent. “Cheney, I know we’ll both miss her,
but if we stay faithful, God’s Word says,
‘No good thing will He
withhold from them that walk uprightly’.”

“
Still reading Psalms,
huh?”

“
Yeah. David fascinates me.
Despite his big time mistakes, he knew to repent. I have a new
perspective on Bible stories. Instead of thinking of them as
fables, I view them as testimonies from a man who struggled to obey
God.”

“
I feel the same way. Hey,
why are you coming home so late anyway, Mr. Jamieson?” she
teased.

“
Oh, that’s right. I’m now
an engaged man. I have to give an account of my whereabouts at all
times. I’ve been over at Malcolm’s again. He put on a brave act at
your house earlier, but he really hasn’t been the same since Hali
started back to church.”

The following morning at nine, Wilma
rang Cheney’s doorbell. Kami ran happily to the door and waited,
expecting Parke. But she suggested he stay away because of Kami’s
attachment to him.

“
Good morning,” Wilma
greeted as Cheney opened the door and invited her in. Scooping up
Kami in her arms for the very last time, she gave a timid
smile.

“
I know this is supposed to
be a clean sweep, so I’ll help carry her things to the car,” she
said in a shaky voice. Too soon, Cheney had to wave good-bye to
Kami who was strapped in a car seat. She hurried back inside
without looking back. Once behind closed doors, Cheney cried until
the tears dried up and her head ached.

***

“
Hali, how could you just
break my heart like that?” Malcolm questioned as he sat at his desk
snapping pencil after pencil. Losing her had happened so fast
Malcolm didn’t see it coming. He rubbed his face in frustration,
remembering Hallison walking down the church aisle—not to the
altar, but away from him.

Malcolm scanned his neat, small office
then the chaos on his desk. “Why did I even bother coming to work
today?” He couldn’t focus, recalling the worst day of his life had
been in church. He remembered every detail.

“
Congrats, Sister Dinkins,”
Cheney rocked Hallison in a hug. Parke also offered a hug, placing
a kiss against her forehead.

“
Praise the Lord, my future
sister-in-law,” Parke greeted, grinning with pride.

Mrs. Beacon, stepped
forward. “I’m still trying to figure out how God did this thing,
snagging both of us today.”

Clueless, Malcolm had
stood back, allowing Hallison to soak up their love. She looked
relieved, like a burden had been lifted. Malcolm made eye contact
with Hali, watching her as he approached. He cupped her chin. “Hey,
baby, why am I congratulating you, huh?” His eyes
sparkled.

Hali treated him to a
priceless smile as she gripped his hands. “Malcolm, God reclaimed
me, despite how much I fought against what was right and turning my
back on Jesus. I started repenting in my seat, and He forgave me.”
Her voice shook with disbelief. “My soul was saying yes, even as my
mind kicked and screamed no.”

Massaging her arms,
Malcolm smiled again before hugging her. “If you’re happy, then,
baby, I’m happy.”

“
Did you come down to the
altar?” Hallison searched his face. “I got caught up in the Word,
and I forgot about you. I’m sorry.”

Malcolm’s hand lovingly
stroked her cheek. “Don’t worry about me, baby. I didn’t leave my
seat. I enjoyed the service and we can come back anytime, but
nothing compelled me to jump up and shout or race down an aisle.
God knows my heart and I’m satisfied as long as I have
you.”

“
Don’t you want to be
saved?”

“
Never thought about it.”
He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets.

“
Bible says to preach the
gospel and he who receives it shall be saved, but him that rejects
it will be damned. Malcolm, please.”

“
Now you sound like Parke.
I’m happy for you and that’s all that’s important.”

Hallison’s sobbing was
heart wrenching as he gathered her into his arms. “What did I say?
Shhh, don’t worry about me.”

Parke and Cheney exchanged
worried looks that hinted they knew something Malcolm didn’t.
Composing herself, Hallison stepped slowly out of Malcolm’s
embrace. Staring at him with an unreadable expression, Hallison
twisted off her engagement ring.

“
What are you doing?”
Malcolm asked, agitated by Hallison’s gesture.

“
As much as I love you, and
I do love you, I can’t accept this ring right now. I’m not an
unbeliever anymore. A house divided cannot stand. I’m alive because
of grace; now it’s time for me to stand.”

“
All of a sudden?” His
heart had cracked as he fingered her ring. “You can’t be serious.
One day in church and you’re ready to walk away from me and the
love we share?”

“
I don’t have a choice,”
she admitted, nodding shamefully as more tears threatened to spill.
“I walked away from God once. So many people don’t make it back,
but this could be my last chance.”

“
Baby, this isn’t making
sense.” Malcolm stepped closer.

“
When I met you, I was
living a lie. The more I pushed God away to be with you, the more
tormented I became. Today, God spoke to me loud and clear. My last
chance ran out. He will no longer wink at my sins. I’ve got to put
Him first this time.”

Malcolm was hot. “And
where does that leave me? I can’t believe this! I come to church
and God steals my woman.”

Parke tried to calm
Malcolm down, but it didn’t work. “We’re in church, and that’s your
woman you’re raising your voice at.”

“
She’s no longer my woman,
PJ, didn’t you hear? I’ve just been dumped in church,” Malcolm spat
sarcastically.

It wasn’t fear, but
something flashed across Hallison’s face and she turned away,
“Parke, do you and Cheney mind giving me a lift home?”

“
What!” Malcolm advanced
toward Hallison as she stepped back and Mrs. Beacon maneuvered her
walking cane, blocking his approach. “I brought you and I will take
you home.”

“
No, Malcolm, you brought
me, but left me spiritually stranded. I can’t fight any longer.
I’ve been at war internally too long and I’m tired.”

Blurred vision jolted Malcolm back
into the present. “I miss you, baby.” His heart ached for her
smile. His hands itched for her soft perfumed skin and silky hair.
He took one woman into church and another one emerged. Grabbing the
receiver, he punched in his ex-fiancée’s work number
.
Ex-fiancée.
He couldn’t comprehend what that meant. “Hallison
Dinkins, please.”

“
I’m sorry, she’s doing
payroll and can’t be disturbed,” the receptionist said, a little
too patronizing for him. The woman had become Hallison’s
watchdog.

“
Thanks.” Malcolm slammed
down the receiver and stood, scattering pencils. “Ten days is long
enough.” He pounded the desk with his fist. “You’re going to see
me, woman, with or without an audience. I won’t be refused today.”
Malcolm patted Hallison’s ring in his pants pocket, then stormed
out the door. “Never mess with a Black man in love, and I’m a
Jamieson, too. That’s a hostile combination.”

Thirty minutes later, his heart raced
when Hallison’s receptionist saw him and apparently hurried to
alert her, but Malcolm was quicker, entering her office a second
sooner, almost bumping the woman back into the hall.

“
I’m sorry, Miss Reynolds.
I tried to warn you,” the woman said, flustered.

Hallison remained seated behind her
mahogany desk, looking radiant. Her brown hair hung straight past
her shoulders with her face glowing.

How can she sit there, looking so
beautiful and acting so calm?
Malcolm was irritated, agitated,
and dying inside. His peripheral vision closed in on Hallison’s
lips. Like a predator, he moved carefully toward her. Malcolm’s
eyes flashed and his chest heaved as he tried to control his
sporadic breathing.

He leaned against her desk. “How can
we work out our differences when you refuse to see and talk to me?”
Malcolm inhaled her subtle sweet perfume, the one he had bought her
the month before. His bold appraisal was meant to be threatening,
but it weakened his knees.
Do you know how much I love
you?

“
Because you’re my
weakness,” she whispered, taking a deep breath.

Focusing on her mouth, Malcolm leaned
even closer. “And, you’re my weakness, physically and
emotionally.”

“
Please don’t make me
cry—”

Scooping down, he kissed her,
absorbing her words until she broke away,
panting
.

“
If only you wanted to be
saved.”

“
Sweetheart, I don’t need
Holiness to be saved, but if that’s the only way I can get you
back, count me in.”

“
Baby—” She squeezed her
lips. “Sorry that slipped. Your salvation has nothing to do with
me. You’ve got to want it for yourself. Malcolm, you don’t know
enough about it to reject it. When God’s power hit me, I did an
about-face. I tried to forget the consequences, but God retrieved
every act I tried to forget that Sunday.”

Why was she putting them through this?
He had always been honest with her. His temper broke. “Hali,” he
called through clenched teeth, “do you love me?”

When she hesitated, Malcolm hammered
his fist on her desk, causing her to jump. “Hali, you know I love
you and I’d never hurt you.”