Guarding Light (13 page)

   Jack froze and then laughed out loud. The sounds of his laughter became muffled as he began to feast on Catlyn. His laughter was the last coherent sound uttered in the bedroom for several long minutes. Jack- using his thumbs and forefingers parted Catlyn's labia and pushed back the hood covering her clitoris-then he kissed, licked, flicked and sucked until Catlyn started a low keening which grew in decibels until she exploded in orgasm.

   Catlyn had never felt anything like the slow, hot, syrupy build-up in the pit of her stomach. With each stroke of his tongue her nipples grew impossibly hard and more heated moisture rushed towards the gateway between her legs. A coil started to tighten deep in her abdominals. When Jack had slowly sucked on her clit and then battered it with lighting quick flicks from the tip of his tongue the coil sprung. A lightshow played behind her closed lids, her thighs shook. She had thought she was done, thought Jack was done. But he wasn't done for he took the index and middle fingers of his right hand and slowly began to enter Catlyn while waves of her orgasm still crashed down upon her.

   "Ahh, ahh." Catlyn couldn't articulate much more.

   Jack sped up his fingers, stroking deep, twisting his fingers as he pulled out and circling her entrance before plunging back in to repeat the process until once again Catlyn screamed her pleasure and wave after wave overtook her body.

   Jack stayed between Catlyn's legs licking up all the juice that spilled and gushed from her. She still shook when he started kissing his way back up her body. He laid his denim clad pelvis against her bare one while he took her mouth in a ravaging kiss.

   Catlyn was breathless but returned his kiss with equal vigor. He tasted different somehow. It took her a few seconds to realize what she tasted was herself on his mouth and tongue. Just the thought made another coil start to twine deep inside of her.

   The necessity for oxygen slowly brought them apart. Jack lifted his head and looked down into her face. She was regarding him with awe. Jack felt himself blush. "From all the coming you did and the look on your face is it safe for me to assume you are definitely ok with what we did?" His voice was gravelly and she felt the rumble from his chest in her chest.

   "Yes." She whispered.

   Jack smiled. "Now you're quiet? I like all the noise you were making before."

   Catlyn blushed to the roots of her hair and silently thanked God her complexion made it difficult to tell when she blushed. Apparently this was not one of those times. "Aww, don't be embarrassed Kitten. I love hearing all those noises. Let's me know I am getting it right."

   Catlyn gently pushed against his chest. Immediately he gave way, rolling over to sit on the side of the bed. Catlyn stood as quickly as her legs would allow. She pulled her skirt down, gathered fresh underthings and went to the bathroom. She made quick work of cleaning herself up, repairing the bun at her nape, applying more lip gloss. She stared at herself in the mirror. She didn't look any different. But inside there was a world of difference.

   Jack Anthony Gard had turned her world upside down and inside out. The feelings he evoked were shattering in both a good and bad way. Physically the pleasure was beyond compare. Not even her first sexual release with Jack all those years ago could come close to the amazing feelings she just experienced in her bedroom. However, emotionally she was torn between what could be real emotions of love. But there was also the pain and anger of betrayal. How could she feel both safe and threatened by the same person? The most important issue, how can she work with and rely on someone she didn't trust one iota. This was the crux of her dilemma. She didn't trust Jack and he was her back up on this job. Her very life was in his hands. Albeit capable hands, but were they trustworthy hands. Catlyn didn't think so.

   On her way back to the bedroom she encountered the object of her thoughts in the living room. He was drying his hands and face with one of her new towels. When he saw her she stopped in front of him. He tossed the towel down on the coffee table. "I washed up in your kitchen. I hope that's all right."

   "Of course." Catlyn stepped around him and went to the closet to grab a light jacket. "I have less than 8 minutes to get to the waterfront. She started towards the front door. Jack halted her forward motion with a flat hand against her midsection.

   "It only takes a couple of minutes to get there. What I want to know is why I am suddenly feeling like it's the 'morning after' and you kicked me out of bed?"

   Even with this slightest touch from him her body craved more of his touch. She looked down at his hand resting seemingly harmless against her stomach. It felt and looked right. It had to be a trick played on her mind, an evil trick. She slowly brought her eyes up to meet his.

   He looked not quite angry but anger was definitely just below the surface. "Catlyn, I'd like an answer."

   She pushed his hand off her body, stepped around him again and said. "We don't have time for this, if I am to be on time."

   He swung her back around to face him. "So then you're late. I want an answer from you Catlyn."

   Now angry also, she threw down her jacket next to the towel on the coffee table. "What do you want to hear? That it was great? That I've never come so hard before in my life? You're the best I ever had?" She ticked the questions off in rapid succession.

   Jack stepped into her personal space, putting his face only inches from hers. "It would be a start!"

   Catlyn stepped back and started clapping. She continued with derision. "Well, bravo, Jack! You were fantastic. I've never come so hard before in my life. You're the best I've ever had. Bravo!" She gave one final clap and then put her hands on her hips. Shrugging her shoulders, she continued when she saw him start to smile. "But, I wouldn't be taking a bow and pounding my chest just yet if I were you. Because the only thing I have to compare it to is a younger version of yourself and rape."

   When he frowned, started to speak, she spoke over him. "So, Jack, this time with you compares in the top three. I mean, at least, this time you didn't make me come and then immediately afterward tell me you are going to be making some other girl come from now on. As comparing to the rape, at least, I am not bleeding to death and don't need major surgery." She gave him a malicious smirk, putting two thumbs up. "And hey, I am conscious, there's a plus."

   Jack's face was made of stone. The muscles in his jaw worked furiously as he tried to contain his hurt and anger. But her dismissing him with one final smirk was his undoing. As she went to walk around him yet again he grabbed her by the arm, swinging her violently towards him and then propelling her against the wall, pushing his body against hers as she started to struggle. Putting her chin in a vice-like grip with one hand and her wrists in the other against the wall above her head, he bit out between clench teeth. "You bitch! How dare you compare what went on in that bedroom to your rape."

   "You asked." She threw back. She tried to turn her face away from those sparking green eyes but the hold on her chin was like iron. "If you don't want to know don't ask."

   "I have never taken a woman in anger, against her will or even when her judgment has been impaired." His anger was rising instead of abating. How could she think so poorly of him and allow him to touch her?

   She gave another one of those smirks he was fast coming to despise, as though he were not the sharpest tool in the shed. "You're not supposed to chief. Want a medal?" She pulled on her wrists in his tight grip. "And for the record Einstein, this isn't willing. I am not willing to be this close to you, have your body against mine. I am NOT willing."

   And like magic Catlyn was instantly released. Jack had heard the hysteria in her voice she was trying to hide. And she would have been successful, if he hadn't felt the wild beating of her heart, which rivaled his own, or the deep tremors that racked her body from head to toe. Her body was reacting violently to the force he used against it.

   "Oh, my God, I am so sorry Catlyn." Force was something he never ever wanted to use with Catlyn. He cared too much for her, never wanted to remind her of
that day
. "I know it doesn't mean much coming from me now, but, you have to know I would never hurt you Catlyn."

   After catching her breath Catlyn came away from the wall and stood toe to toe with Jack. "I know no such thing."

   Jack was confused. She knew him. She had to know he would never physically hurt her. "Come on, Catlyn. You know I'd never hurt you. Do anything for you."

   She gave him a sad look, shook her head and went towards the door. This time he stopped her, not with a touch, but, by blocking her way with his body. "Tell me you know I'd never hurt you physically."

   Tears flooded her eyes and she whispered. "I don't trust you Jack. I've never had a partner I didn't trust whole-heartedly."

   He was shocked and then his anger returned. "You don't trust me?" He pointed to the bedroom. "The me who ate you out and gave you pleasure in that room? Is that the me you don't trust? Or is it the me you kissed and caressed and threaten to shoot if I didn't continue making love to you? Is that the me you don't trust Catlyn?"

   Visibly shaken, she wiped at tears that began to fall. "No, none of those, it's the you who set me up for a rape and then lied to protect the person who almost killed me after he took the one thing that was all mine to give freely to the man I love."

   Jack closed his eyes on the almost debilitating anguish that rushed through him. Is that what she thought? Had been thinking all these years? It couldn't be! He snapped his eyes open. Her tears ran freely now and there was sadness about her as well as wariness. She was wary of him? The realization boggled his mind. "Catlyn, you can't have been thinking this all these years?"

   "I can and I have." She said with more conviction than Jack had ever heard in someone proclaiming their innocence.

   "Catlyn, I know what J.T. did to you when you were a little girl must have scarred you, and I will always hate myself for not knowing about it and stopping it sooner, but you have to realize your judgment was way off that day."

   "My judgment was fine. J.T. Dark raped me and left me for dead at that school twenty-five years ago." She said the words as though she had said them a thousand times.

   "Catlyn, that's just not possible." Jack was just as sure. "And, if this is how you really feel, why let me near you, touch you?"

   A worried frown appeared between her brow. Her confusion was palatable. "I don't know why my body responds to you. It always has. No other man has wrought any kind of response. Yet, with you, my body has a mind of its own. It wants your touch."

   Her confusion was almost comical. If not for the fact that she was referring to his lovemaking he would have been rolling on the floor. At least he didn't totally turn her off, which would be very bad for Jack because just a look from her had him wanting to beg for a kiss.

   "Well, maybe your body knows something you don't." He told her.

   "All it tells me is that I have an adverse reaction to being touched by any man other than you. It could be because you were the first man who touched me in a positive way or because you were the first person I ever lov-"Abruptly, she stopped, mortified at what she almost revealed.

   Jack's eyes widen in pleasant surprise. "The first person you ever loved?"

   Catlyn stiffened her shoulders. "So, what of it? I was a stupid little girl who was crushing on her hero. Don't worry, I got over it."

   Jack smiled. "Catlyn there were many things you were called and could have been called when you were that little girl, but, lady, stupid was not one of them. And just when did you get over your love for your hero?"

   Her answer was swift and deadly. "The very second the hero set me up for rape."

   "Jesus Christ, stop saying that. I did NOT set you up for rape." Jack was back to talking through a clenched jaw. "I was trying to come to terms with wanting a girl who was too young for me, from a different race and not giving a damn, wanting to just take a chance."

   Catlyn shrugged. "Well, we know you didn't take that chance. You decided to hurt me instead."

   He grabbed her by the upper arms and shook her. "God damn it! Stop saying that! I would never do anything to hurt you like that. Catlyn you were mistaken about who attacked you. J.T. was having dinner with me and Sara when you were being raped. He insisted on treating us to celebrate my finally asking Sara out officially. I didn't want to. I had avoided him since I told him to stay away from you or answer to me. But, Catlyn, honey, J.T. was there with me and Sara. So he couldn't have been raping you."

   Catlyn spoke at the same time, trying to override his voice. "You're a liar. We both can't be right. So that makes you the liar. 'Cause I know who raped me. It was J.T. Dark."

   He released her so suddenly Catlyn stumbled back, catching herself at the last second. "Why'd you do-?" Catlyn stopped speaking as she took in Jack's look. He was staring at her but not seeing her. His eyes were wide as he focused on something in the distant, something in his mind.

   Catlyn looked around the room to see what could have caused such an instant change in him. "What? What is it?"

   He was focused internally not really seeing her. But then he became alert and his focus on her was intense. "Ok, what? You have cop-face?"

   At that, one side of his mouth titled upward in a half smile. "I have what?"

   "You know cop-face. Your Eureka moment. The Sherlock Holmes and Columbo look, right before they reveal it was Ms. Scarlet in the ballroom with the candlestick."

   Jack laughed. "Ok. I have to remember that. I like it, 'cop-face'."

   "Let me guess, you have the killer's name and address, right? I don't have to hurt my feet waitressing."

   Still smiling, Jack shook his head. "Afraid not, Kitten. You are going to have to wait those tables."

   "That is exactly what you are supposed to be doing." They both turned toward the door to see Jose holstering his weapon.