Guardian Bride (24 page)
"Why?"
"Maybe she wants to see the puppies, too."
The sparkles in his eyes held her attention. The jingle of
harnesses, the stomp of hooves, and the gay chatter of those
in the departing wagons faded like a ghost in the wind. His
hands wrapped around the backs of her upper arms. "They'll
be all right. Don't worry."
Her ability to speak had been stolen. She wasn't worried
about the children. It was a new realization that had her
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choked up. They were alone. Completely alone. And heaven
knows what entered her mind then.
She spun about. "Where's Bug?"
"He rode out." Snake's one hand still held an arm.
Her stomach flipped and flopped, and then repeated the
action. "Where to?"
"Don't know. Why?"
Snake waited for her to answer until it was clear she
wasn't going to. He stepped around to face her again. His
family knew he and Summer could use some time alone, and
he was thankful for their consideration, but it appeared she
didn't feel the same way.
"Are you afraid?"
She shook her head, but the way she bit on her bottom lip
belied the action. The emotions that flooded his body for this
woman were amazing, more so now that the love he felt for
her had grown all consuming. The want to ease her burdens,
heal her injuries, and make her happy for all the days to
come were all new to him, yet he relished the desire. He'd
strive to his dying day to make all her dreams come true. If
only she'd let him.
His hand floated down her arm until his palm found hers.
Interlocking her small fingers with his, he turned and led her
toward the bench beside the outdoor table. They sat and used
the edge of the table as a backrest. Snake's mind searched
and doubled back, looking for something witty and charming
to say.
"Do you think August will ask Kid if he can have a puppy?"
Summer asked, gazing at the sun kissing the earth with a
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rainbow of crimsons and burnt-oranges and flashing yellow
streaks into the navy colored sky.
"Well, I kind of already told him he could pick one out,"
Snake admitted.
"You did?"
She hadn't turned his way, and her tone didn't give him a
sense of how she felt about a puppy. He drummed his fingers
on one knee. "Yes. I hope you don't mind. We talked about it
once before the fire."
"I remember."
When she offered nothing more, he asked, "Do you mind?"
"No. I'm just afraid of how attached he'll become."
"Of course he'll get attached. A boy and his dog have a
special relationship."
She twisted her neck, glancing his way briefly. "Did you
have a dog when you were little?" The sadness in her eyes
hadn't lifted. Dark circles hung beneath her lower lashes,
making him wonder again what more he could do to lift the
burden she carried.
"Yup, a couple of them. Roscoe was my favorite. We had
him for years. Having a dog around again will be nice." He
rolled his hand to thread his fingers through hers. "What
about you?"
Once again staring at the sunset, she shook her head. Her
depression had grown deeper and deeper. The fire must have
affected her more strongly than he'd thought. Right now, he'd
gladly let someone shoot him again just so he could see that
proud and righteous woman who'd stomped into his room and
declared they were married. A smile tugged at the corners of
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his lips. That was probably the minute he fell in love with her.
The knowledge that he loved her had settled deep in his
chest, and along with it came honey-kissed satisfaction. The
kind that made a man want to cheer out loud. Yet, he
couldn't—not when she seemed so distraught.
"Pets are good for kids," he offered, searching for
something to say. "August will like it. September, too. They
both love Maisy, despite her orneriness."
"Mmm hmm," she mumbled.
His attempt at humor, referring to the hat wearing mule
had failed. He glanced around, wishing for something
insightful, delightful, or significant to say. The fading evening
light bounced off the building frame. "You want to take a look
at the house? The rooms are framed in."
She turned and the despondent look on her face sunk his
heart into the deepest pit of his stomach. It was as if he was
on a rickety bridge, made of worn boards and frayed ropes
with a raging river flowing below, and she was on the other
side. He wanted to rescue her, but the frail bridge was
collapsing faster than he could traverse it.
He reached out a hand. She avoided his touch, and then
rose to her feet. "Why?" she asked, shaking her head and
scrunching her face.
"Why?" he repeated, unclear what she asked.
"Why do you have to be so nice? So wonderful?"
He stood and took a step closer. She backed further away,
still shaking her head. Snake stopped and let out the sigh that
had built to mammoth proportions in his lungs. "Summer, I
don't know—"
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"Stop," she said. "Just stop. Don't say anything." Her
hands flayed up and down at her sides like the wings of a
frustrated hen. "Why can't you just hate me?"
"Hate you?"
Her face grew crimson. "Yes! Hate me." She puckered her
face as if pained. "Why can't your entire family just hate me?
It would make everything easier if they would. If you would. I
could pack up the kids and be gone."
"Gone?" His stomach landed somewhere near his heels.
"What are you talking about?"
She made a growling noise and flipped around. Stomping
away, she shouted, "Everything. I'm talking about
everything."
He caught up with her. She twisted her arm out of his
grasp and kept moving. "Just leave me alone." Her words
were heated, angry, but sad tears dripped from the corners of
her eyes.
Snake didn't try to touch her again, knew she'd oppose it,
but he did keep up with her fast pace. "Why?"
"Why?" Her breath came in short gasps, as if she was
winded.
"Yes, why should I leave you alone?"
"Because."
His patience was running thin. He wasn't about to leave
her alone, and she sure as hell better never plan on packing
up the kids and leaving. He'd hogtie her to the chair if need
be to stop such an event. Grabbing her arm, he held on and
forced her to stop.
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"That's not an answer. Tell me what you're talking about.
Why you want me to leave you alone? Why you want
everyone to stop being nice?"
She was mad now, the darkness of her eyes glowed as she
tried to tug out of his hold. The fact he wouldn't let go made
her lips form a tight line.
"Because I'm not worthy!"
Instinct, and anger, made his hold tighten. He forced his
fingers to relax, but still kept her captive. "Not worthy?"
"Yes!" She twisted and tugged.
Now thoroughly frustrated, he growled, "What the hell are
you talking about?"
"Let go of me!"
"Like hell I will!" He tugged her forward.
She thumped his chest with both fists. "Let me go!"
"No!" Her fists pounded harder. The frustration in her
actions caused bits and pieces of his anger to diminish. "Not
until you tell me why you think you're unworthy."
"Because I am!" Her body trembled beneath his touch. "All
I do is cause pain."
He attempted to rebut her, but she broke free and
continued before he could say a word. "That's all I've ever
done. Pain and heartache. Loss and misery. Trouble and
destruction. Mayhem and murder. That's all I'll cause your
family."
She was on a roll, and not likely to stop. Her stomping feet
led her to the bathing tub. He kept pace, searching for the
right words to stop her self-loathing.
"I'm a half-breed. A squaw. I'm no good. Ask anyone."
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That did it. Something inside Snake snapped. If she were
badgering him, saying disgusting and degrading things about
him, he could have taken it, but he couldn't stand the way
she was demeaning herself. Before he quite contemplated his
actions, he'd picked her up and hoisted her over the edge of
the bathing pool. Realization hit as his fingers let loose. He
reached forward, but she was already dropping beneath the
water. The splash along with her screech cracked as loud as a
thunderbolt.
"Ooooh!" bubbled in the water as she went under.
"Summer!" He plunged his hands into the water.
"Summer! I'm sorry!"
Her head surfaced, spitting and sputtering. Her long,
glossy hair flipped over her head as she snapped her neck
back. The ends landed with a smack and then floated around
her shoulders as she sat on the bottom of the tub—stunned,
water swirling around her shoulders.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, feeling about as sheepish as
August looked at times.
Her eyes lowered, and she stared at the rippling water as if
she had no idea how to get out of it. He climbed over the
edge. Water instantly filled his boots and soaked his britches
as he moved through the knee high water. Kneeling down in
front of her, he cautiously touched one cheek.
"Summer?"
The image before Summer's eyes dissolved into the
ripples. Jonas, disappearing as fast as he appeared,
whispered inside her head,
Don't fight it any longer. Trust me.
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Summer closed her eyes, wanting to keep him talking. It
had been so long since he'd come to her. She needed his
guidance. Needed his council now more than ever. His voice,
fading, yet echoing, continued,
Live, Summer. Live. Laugh.
Love.
She shook her head, silently begging him not to leave.
It was to no avail. The emptiness following his words made
her want to cry. Jonas was gone again. She willed, eyes
closed and heart aching, for him to return. He didn't, but
something warm and gentle, and solid and real on her cheek
made her eyelids lift.
Snake's face, close enough she could feel his breath, was
filled with worry lines. The heart in her chest galloped, forcing
a hot and somewhat excited stirring to race through her
veins. Live. Laugh. Love. A smile tickled her lips, and she bit
down on the bottom one, refusing to let the grin emerge.
"Summer?" he asked tentatively.
She met his gaze. It was as if a dam had broken within her
and washed the gloom that had been hovering about away.
Maybe by her dip in the water, or by Jonas' visit, she wasn't
quite sure, but either way, dread no longer filled her inner
being. She'd never been a grim and dismal person, and truly
didn't know why or where the depression had come from.
Now that it had lifted, she wondered how it had been able to
consume her so thoroughly the past weeks. Before her was
more than she'd ever had. Pure, real love, from a man more
handsome and sincere than all the others she'd ever met
combined.
Snake cupped the side of her cheek. "I'm sorry. I—"
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Glee filled her insides, but she downplayed it and
interrupted. "You're sorry?"
He nodded.
"So am I." Before he had a chance to stop her, she planted
both hands on his shoulders, and shoved.
The force of his weight hitting the water made waves slosh
her shoulders as he went over backwards. The tips of his
boots broke the surface before his head bounded upwards.
Splaying droplets from his hair, and gasping for air, he landed
on his knees before her.
An outlaw with a pearl handled six shooter couldn't have
stopped the laughter rolling up her chest. It burst from her
lips like a stick of dynamite. Snake's eyes widen briefly before
he, too, started to laugh.
Brushing his wet hair off his forehead, he declared, "I
deserved that."
Summer brushed her hair back and rose to her knees to
face him nose to nose. "Yes, you did."
"I just wanted to shut you up." His cheeks glowed red.
More bold and brazen than she'd ever believe herself
possible of, she grabbed the sides of his face. "I know a
better way." While the shocked looked covered his face, she
planted her lips on his.
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The emotions that had been buried deep in gloom rose up
like the water surrounding them. The love that Jonas spoke
of, like the warm bathwater, seeped into every crook and
crevice of her being. Summer wrapped her arms around
Snake and pressed her body against his until she felt their