Grizzly Flying Free (Air Bear Shifters Book 2) (4 page)

Anderson kept his eyes glued straight ahead as he waited for air traffic control to clear him for takeoff. Silver sat beside him in the passenger seat, uncharacteristically quiet. She knew he was angry, even though she didn’t fully understand why. Silver had a good sense of when it was not okay to push him, and she knew right now was one of those times.

Anderson knew he shouldn’t let his own anger and frustrations ruin Silver’s day. She had been so excited about her performance, and she had done an amazing job. He should be taking her out for ice-cream in Kodiak to celebrate or something. But he couldn’t bear to be in the same city as Lexi for one more moment. He had to escape.

His emotions about Lexi were so conflicted. He was drawn to her like the proverbial moth to the flame, and there was no denying her beauty. But he didn’t want anything to do with a woman who was a partier. Especially a woman who was sneaking booze when she was supposed to be watching kids.

Air traffic control cleared Anderson for takeoff, and he taxied his small airplane to the runway. He was in the Cessna 152 today, one of the smallest planes owned by the Frost Peak Tour Company. But he didn’t need much space when he was just flying Silver and himself back from Kodiak.

The plane lifted off the runway and quickly climbed into the sky. Anderson had been flying for a long time, and he knew that altitude was your friend. He had never been a fan of climbing slowly on takeoff. He wanted as much space as possible between him and the ground if he found himself in an emergency situation. Even a few seconds could be the difference between a safe emergency landing and a fatal crash. Anderson constantly reviewed emergency procedures so that he was always prepared. And, today, as Anderson reached three thousand feet above the ground, he was about to get the chance to put those emergency procedures into use.

It took him about four seconds after the strange noise to realize that something was wrong. He saw the oil pressure gauge dropping rapidly, and he cursed under his breath. Within moments, he was banking a sharp, one hundred and eighty degree turn to head back to the airport. Without pausing to warn Silver that they were in trouble, he got on his radio and contacted air traffic control.

“Be advised, Cessna N67322 is suffering a total engine failure. Requesting permission to initiate emergency landing procedures.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Anderson saw Silver whip her head toward him. He glanced at her, and her eyes had gone wide with terror.

“Dad?” she asked into the mouthpiece of her headset. “Are we going to crash?”

Anderson reached over and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Not if I can help it, sweetheart. The landing might be a bit rough, though. Make sure your seatbelt is nice and tight.”

Silver did as she was told, and Anderson returned his focus to the task at hand—landing an airplane with no power. Luckily, the airport was still close, and Anderson had plenty of altitude to let the plane glide in to the runway. His heart was pounding, and adrenaline was coursing through his veins, but in his head he knew they were going to be just fine. He kept his expression as neutral and confident as possible so that Silver would remain calm.

Air traffic control had cleared the runway for him, and he landed into the wind, touching down smoothly and bringing the plane to a complete stop before turning to look at Silver.

“Are you okay, honey?” he asked, searching his daughter’s eyes and trying to make sure that she had handled the stress of the situation alright.

Silver looked up at him with a confused, almost skeptical expression. “That was a crash landing?” she asked, crossing her arms. “It felt the same as any other landing to me.”

Anderson resisted the urge to laugh. Typical Silver. Upset that an emergency hadn’t been exciting enough. “If it felt the same as any other landing, that means I did my job right. Looks like we’re going to be stuck in Kodiak for at least the night, though.”

Silver didn’t say anything in response, but Anderson could tell she was pleased at this turn of events. Leave it to his daughter to find the positive side of an aircraft engine failure. Anderson couldn’t help but smile as he unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out of the cockpit to pull the disabled plane off of the active runway.

He didn’t even want to think about how spunky his girl would be once she hit her teenage years.

* * *

Several hours later, Anderson had checked into a hotel for the night. It had taken a while to get everything with the plane sorted out, and it was nearly nine p.m. by the time Anderson dropped off Silver’s and his bags in their room. The plane was going to need some serious repairs, and likely wouldn’t be flying anywhere for quite some time. In the meantime, Anderson could either rent a car and make the long drive back to Frost Peak, or he could wait two days until Sawyer had a free moment to come pick him up in another aircraft. Anderson didn’t feel like making a long drive, and, besides, Silver was excited to spend time in Kodiak. Maybe this was the universe’s subtle way of letting him know he needed to pay more attention to what his little girl was asking for.

Even though the hour was late, Silver could hardly contain her excitement, and Anderson decided to do what he should have done for her in the first place—take her out for dinner and ice-cream. He changed into a fresh shirt and pair of blue jeans, thankful that he at least had a change of clothes with him, and then took his daughter to his favorite steakhouse.

Anderson ordered the largest prime rib on the menu, but Silver, as usual, ordered a shrimp dish. Anderson shook his head in mock horror, and repeated the same thing he always said to Silver when they went to a steakhouse together.

“You’re just like your momma, you know. Bring you to a fancy steakhouse and you order a bunch of fancy sea bugs.”

Normally, Silver laughed and beamed with pride at being compared to her mother. But today, she stared down at her bread plate without answering. Anderson’s heart clenched up at her sad expression.

“What’s the matter, pumpkin?” he asked.

“Am I ever going to have a mom again?” she asked, not looking up at him.

Anderson sat back in surprise. Silver frequently asked him to tell her stories about her mother, but this was the first time she had ever expressed wanting another mom.

“I don’t know, baby,” he said. It was the only honest answer he could really give. He often felt guilty that Silver didn’t have a mother to look up to. Anderson did his best, but some things he knew a mother would do so much better. Like picking out dresses for school pictures, or answering questions about how to put hair up in a ponytail properly. Anderson knew the questions would only get harder as Silver got older. Silver’s Auntie Grace helped with some of those things, but the old woman wouldn’t be around forever. Anderson needed help, and he desperately wished he could give Silver a mother. But he couldn’t just marry someone he didn’t love to solve the problem. In the end, that would only make everyone miserable.

“All the other girls in the dance program have moms,” Silver said quietly, pushing a shrimp around her plate with her fork.

Anderson exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry, Silver. Trust me when I say I wish more than anything that your momma was still here. I don’t know if I’ll ever marry again, because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love someone as much as I loved your mother. But I promise you that I will help you find women to be there for you when you just need a momma. What about Uncle Sawyer’s wife, Auntie Amanda? I know she’s busy with a newborn right now, but she adores you and you adore her. I’m sure she’d be happy to be there for you any time she can. Why don’t we try to set up some more time for you to spend with her? I bet you could even help her take care of baby Ella. You love babies, and Auntie Amanda would love the help.”

Silver brightened momentarily, but then frowned again. “Auntie Amanda is nice, but I want someone who lives with us. And you need a woman, dad.”

Anderson almost spit out his iced tea. He couldn’t believe his six-year-old had just told him that he needed a woman. “What in the world makes you say that, Silver?”

Silver shrugged and finally looked up at Anderson. “You’re not happy. And all the other guys who have wives seem happy. Maybe if you had a wife and I had a mom things would be better.”

Anderson felt his heart sinking. “Honey, what makes you think I’m not happy? I’m very happy. I have you. I have a job I love. I’ve taken on leadership in a clan of amazing shifters. I have a lot of friends. Life is good.”

Silver gave him a doubtful look. “You always look tired, and you always look sad. It’s gotten worse since Chance moved away, but even before that you seemed sad.”

“Well, I’m sad that Chance moved away, sure. He’s one of my best friends. But I have a feeling he’ll be back at some point. And I’m tired because I’m busy. But I am happy. I don’t need a wife to be happy,” Anderson said. Then, gently, he added, “And you don’t need a mom to be happy, Silver. It would be wonderful if you had one, yes. But happiness has to come from within yourself. If you can’t be comfortable and happy in your own skin, it doesn’t matter what else you have. You’ll never be truly happy.”

Silver looked at him with a confused expression, and Anderson decided that maybe a deep discussion of happiness was a bit much for a tired little girl.

“Tell you what,” he said. “I can’t promise you you’ll ever have a mom again, but I can promise you that as long as I’m around, you’ll always have a daddy who loves you and would give anything to see you happy. And, on that note, why don’t we order a big brownie fudge sundae for dessert? I know it’s your favorite.”

Silver smiled. “Okay,” she said, shoving the last shrimp from her plate into her mouth. But, although she dropped the subject, Anderson could tell that her mind was still mulling over what it would be like to actually have a mother.

Later that night, after Silver had passed out in exhaustion on one of the double beds in their hotel room, Anderson sat wide awake in an armchair by the window. He stared out at the dark night sky and realized only then that he could have lost his own life or Silver’s life today when the plane’s engine failed. He spent so much time mentally preparing for emergencies that when one had happened, he had almost reacted on autopilot. It hadn’t even seemed like a big deal to him. But as he glanced back and forth between his sleeping daughter and the glittering stars, the full force of the day hit him.

He didn’t know when his time would be up. And, although he hoped with all of his heart Silver would live a long, happy life, the truth was that he didn’t know when her time would be up, either. No one was guaranteed anything beyond the present moment. The least he could do for his daughter was to sacrifice his own happiness to ensure her own. If that meant letting her continue to study dance in Kodiak, then so be it. He couldn’t promise her a mom, but he could promise her a dance instructor.

He sure as hell wasn’t going to let her study with Lexi any more, though. Tomorrow, Anderson would use the day that they were stuck in Kodiak to find another ballet teacher. There had to be someone else who would be willing to take on a young ballerina as talented as Silver, and Anderson was going to find that person.

The next morning, Anderson took Silver out to breakfast. Over a giant plate of waffles, he broke the news of his plan to let her study ballet in Kodiak. Silver was, predictably, ecstatic. She bounced up and down in her seat so excitedly that she almost sent her orange juice and an entire plate of waffles flying off the table. She seemed slightly disappointed that Anderson didn’t want to consider Lexi as a permanent teacher, but she was so excited at the prospect of studying with
anyone
that she didn’t push for Lexi.

As it turned out, though, finding a ballet teacher willing to take in and privately tutor a six-year-old was more difficult than Anderson had thought. Kodiak was relatively small and didn’t have a ton of ballet schools, and the few that Anderson visited looked at him doubtfully as he described his daughter’s exceptional level of talent. No doubt, they thought he was just a doting father. He offered to let them watch Silver dance, but they all said that wouldn’t be necessary, because regardless of the level of talent, they did not do private tutoring. Feeling defeated, Anderson decided to take a break and take Silver to lunch. He didn’t tell his daughter that there were no ballet studios left in Kodiak to visit. He was too busy trying to figure out a way to keep from sending his daughter to Lexi’s dance school.

When lunch ended, Anderson still hadn’t quite figured out what to say, but he was able to stall a little longer when Sawyer called and asked if he could pick up some things from a hardware store in Kodiak. The hardware store in Frost Peak wasn’t always stocked very well, and Sawyer thought Anderson might be able to find a few things there that Sawyer hadn’t been able to find in Frost Peak.

Silver made her signature pouty face when she learned that they would be going to a hardware store instead of to more ballet schools, but Anderson promised her he would make the trip as quick as possible. He told himself that if he hadn’t come up with a creative solution to convince the ballet schools to tutor Silver before leaving the hardware store, that he would tell Silver they needed to look in another city. Maybe someone in Anchorage would be more accommodating.

Anderson grabbed a shopping basket and started filling it up with the items on Sawyer’s list, while Silver trudged along behind him and dragged her feet along the tile floor. Anderson had just finished finding the items on the list when he heard the man at the front counter raising his voice in annoyance.

“Look, lady,” the man said. “I’m the only employee here today. I can’t leave the register unmanned. If you wanted help with those bags you should have brought someone along to help you.”

“Please? I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have carts available to get this to my car, and it will only take a minute. The store isn’t that busy. I’m sure it will be fine if you leave the register for a moment.”

“Sorry,” the man said gruffly. “I’m a cashier, not a mule. You’ll have to get your bags out yourself. Take them one at a time if you want. I’m sure you can manage that way.”

Anderson wanted to roll his eyes. Was the guy at the front desk seriously refusing to help a woman carry her stuff? What an asshole. He rounded the corner, determined to show the man what it meant to be a gentleman. But he stopped short in his tracks when he saw that the woman at the front counter was Lexi. She had just turned her back to the man at the counter, and was struggling to lift a fifty pound bag of potting soil. Her hair was pulled up in a haphazard messy bun, and she wore a pair of black sweatpants along with an old, dirty t-shirt. Her tennis shoes looked new, though. They were hot pink, and bright and clean—standing out starkly from the rest of her worn out clothes. Even her face was dirty. Some of her loose tendrils of hair had escaped from the bun only to be plastered against her face by a mixture of dirt and sweat. She was a dirty, hot mess. And she looked stunning. Anderson couldn’t ignore the way his heart beat faster at the sight of her, but he did his best to push down the emotion once again. He would help her, like a gentleman. But he wouldn’t acknowledge the feelings of desire welling up from deep within him.

Anderson walked up to the counter, and slammed his basket of items down on the counter.

“I changed my mind on these,” he said, looking the clerk straight in the eye. “I have no interest in giving my business to a shop where the employees have no idea how to extend common courtesy to their customers.”

The man shrank back and did not reply. Anderson made an imposing figure, standing a head and shoulders above the clerk, with biceps bigger than the man’s thighs. Lexi didn’t speak, either. She just watched, open-mouthed, as Anderson grabbed all three bags of potting soil at once, and hoisted them onto his shoulder like they were bags of feathers.

“Where are you parked?” he asked.

“Uh, I’ll show you,” Lexi said, regaining her composure and walking toward the door. Anderson followed her, with Silver trailing along behind him and struggling to keep up. When they arrived at her vehicle, Anderson was surprised to see that it was a large pickup truck. He hurled the three bags into the bed of the truck, and then raised an eyebrow in Lexi’s direction.

“This isn’t exactly what I pictured you driving,” he said.

Lexi crossed her arms defensively. “What did you picture me driving?” she asked.

“I don’t know. An overpriced sports car that is sexy but completely impractical for an Alaskan winter?”

Lexi laughed. “I’m a practical gal. I know you think I’m nothing more than a spoiled celebrity who lives to party, but I’m actually pretty down to earth.”

Anderson noted the hint of bitterness in her voice, and he felt strangely embarrassed by her accusation. He
did
kind of think she was a spoiled celebrity who lived to party, but he didn’t want Silver to know he had judged Lexi like that. Anderson was always telling his daughter to see the best in people, and to give them the benefit of the doubt because we don’t really know their story. But here he was, being rightly accused of judging a woman whom, truthfully, he didn’t know.

“Sorry,” Anderson said sheepishly, avoiding Silver’s questioning look. “Maybe I overreacted a bit.”

Lexi shrugged. “It happens. A lot. I’m not even a celebrity really. I just dated one, and didn’t realize how much doing so was going to sweep me up into that world. Live and learn, I guess. Anyway, thanks for helping me with my bags. I can’t believe that guy in there was so unhelpful.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Anderson said. “Looks like you’re planning on doing some serious gardening.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t have any students for the next few weeks, so I figured I’d spruce up the garden around the studio and house a bit. Nothing better to do. It’s hard to make friends here. Everyone only sees me as the crazy celebrity.”

Anderson felt a pang of guilt. Lexi looked genuinely lonely. And, if he were to be honest with himself, he probably had overreacted quite a bit to seeing her take a swig from the whiskey bottle. After all, she hadn’t been responsible for watching any children at that moment. And she hadn’t been drunk. She really had just taken one or two sips. It’s not like he’d never been in a situation where he wanted to escape and enjoy a quiet moment and a drink.

He also couldn’t deny that seeing her here in old, dirty clothes, without makeup and with her hair all messed up, didn’t fit his perception of her as a spoiled celebrity. She was a real person, and didn’t seem to be afraid of work. Anderson felt waves of guilt washing over him as he slowly realized that, despite telling himself he wasn’t a gullible person, he had allowed sensational celebrity magazines to cloud his judgment of Lexi without really knowing her. That wasn’t the kind of person he wanted to be.

Without thinking about it, and before he fully realized what he was saying, he found himself asking Lexi to dinner.

“We’re in town for another day,” he said. “If you’re feeling lonely, you’re welcome to join Silver and me for dinner tonight. There’s a café down on the waterfront we really like. They have the best grilled salmon you’ve ever tasted.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. What the hell was he doing? Asking a beautiful woman who turned him on out to dinner. It didn’t matter that Silver would be there, too. His bear was going to be going crazy inside of him all night long. But it was too late to take the words back. Lexi’s face flooded first with a look of surprise, and then relief.

“Really? I’d love to. Thank you.”

Silver started jumping up and down and clapping her hands, and Anderson knew he would have to act happy and composed during dinner, at least for Silver’s sake.

“Meet you there at seven?” he asked, wanting to get the hell away from Lexi before he said or did something else stupid, like signing his daughter up for more ballet lessons with her.

“Sure, see you then.”

Anderson grunted in response, and then turned to walk away from Lexi’s truck as quickly as he could. A startled Silver scurried to keep up with him as he made his way toward his own rental truck.

This was going to be an interesting night.

* * *

Lexi nervously hopped from one foot to another as she waited for Anderson and Silver to arrive. She hoped she wasn’t overdressed. She was wearing a simple, knit dress in a bright royal blue, and a pair of taupe flats. She loved the dress, and thought of it as a pretty casual outfit. But everyone who was coming into the restaurant was wearing jeans and t-shirts, and Lexi suddenly felt conspicuous. Was Anderson going to think she had put too much effort into the way she looked, and think she was viewing this as some kind of date?

Lexi shook her head at herself in disgust. For fuck’s sake, Lexi, get it together, she told herself. You’re overthinking things way too much. He was just asking you to dinner because you said you were lonely and that made him feel guilty.

Lexi didn’t have much more time to drive herself crazy with her internal monologue, though. She heard a familiar squeal, and looked up to see Silver bounding toward her.

“Hi, Miss Lexi! I love your dress. That’s a pretty color,” Silver said, then threw her arms around Lexi in a big bear hug. Lexi smiled. Leave it to a six-year-old to make you instantly feel better about your outfit. Lexi looked up to greet Anderson, and was relieved to see that he was at least wearing a button-down shirt with his jeans. She didn’t feel totally out of place anymore.

He nodded at her in greeting, obviously feeling a bit awkward, and then gestured toward the door.

“Shall we, ladies?” he asked, as he held the door open for Silver and her.

Lexi followed Silver into the restaurant, and instantly fell in love with its adorable nautical décor. Wooden whales, anchors, and life-rings graced the ceiling, and strings of lights gave the room a festive, warm glow. The hostess led them to a booth next to one of the large windows that overlooked the water, giving the group a great view of the boats meandering by.

“This place is really nice,” Lexi said as she settled into her seat across from Anderson and Silver. Anderson didn’t respond, but his small smile told Lexi that he was pleased at her words of approval. For a few minutes, they all looked over the menus in silence. At one point, Silver started coloring on her kids menu, filling the air with the rhythmic sound of a crayon passing back and forth over the paper.

Lexi quickly decided on the grilled salmon with a side of wild rice pilaf. She also wanted to try one of the signature cocktails from the list, but she felt self-conscious ordering one in front of Anderson. He already thought she was a lush, and she didn’t know how he felt about her having a drink in front of Silver, either.

As if he read her mind, Anderson suddenly looked up and reached across the table to point to the drink list on Lexi’s menu.

“The Wheelhouse is a really good cocktail. I highly recommend it,” he said.

Lexi smiled. “I was just considering that one,” she said.

“Excellent! You won’t be disappointed,” Anderson said, just as their server arrived to take their drink orders. “Two Wheelhouses, please, and a chocolate milk for the little lady.”

The server nodded and left to get their drinks, and Lexi stole a shy glance in Anderson’s direction. He was looking out the window now, focused carefully on something out on the water. Lexi admired his profile, appreciating the sharp, strong line of his jawbone and the hint of stubble on his tanned skin. She liked the way he had taken charge and ordered the drinks. He had an air of gentle authority about him that was so different from the brash, asshole brand of authority Greg had always exuded.

Lexi realized with slight horror that she had just compared Anderson to Greg. What was she thinking? Anderson hadn’t given her any indication that he was romantically interested in her. Quite the opposite, in fact. He had kept his distance for the short time she’d known him, and she got the impression that he’d only asked her to dinner tonight because he felt sorry for her after she said she was lonely. Still, who could blame her for letting her mind wander back to romantic thoughts of Anderson? He was objectively the best looking man she had ever seen, and, now that she knew he was available, it was hard not to dream about having a man like that on her arm.

Anderson seemed to sense that Lexi was looking at him, and he turned to meet her gaze.

“What?” he asked. The expression in his eyes was softer now than Lexi had ever seen it, and she felt a warmth filling her as he gave her a questioning eyebrow raise.