GRIND (The Silver Nitrate Series Book 1) (28 page)

If I was living my dream, none of this would be an issue…

What do I do? Is there any way out?

Could he weld himself a solid escape route? One that led to something not bigger and better, but let him breathe and nurture his true self into this thing called life?

It sucked feeling like such a coward. It sucked that he knew what was wrong with him. It sucked that a damn stranger knew his truth and handed it to him in less than five minutes.

But how does one step out on faith when they barely believe? Guess he’d never find out, if he never even tried…

“C
ome on, put
them up here.” He thumped his hand against his lower thigh.

“No, we’re in a restaurant!” the woman chastised as she slid her phone back inside of her purse.

“I know where we are. It was my idea to come.”

“You said your feet hurt, right?”

Grimacing, she dismissed him with a flourish of her hand. “Boy, I’m not playin’ with you. Drink your cappuccino and be quiet. I’m going to be late getting back to work. You already had me up all night on the phone again.”

She had to have known damn well she was the culprit.

Silver looked like onyx and diamonds dipped in something sweet and forbidden. He planned to eat her anyway, poisonous frosting and all. As he sat there staring at her, his thoughts turned perverted in a nanosecond. She’d styled her hair in wild curls today. They covered her entire head like some black, bountiful bonnet. Her high cheeks had a slight luster, and an iridescent sheen covered her lips. Her dark avocado colored leather jacket was unzipped, exposing a cream button down shirt that slightly popped in the middle due to her beautiful, generous breasts pushing into them.

Silver has some nice ass tits, damn… They felt good, too…

A thin gold chain with a clear pendant hung slightly off kilter around her neck and her perfume smelled like cotton candy.

Damn. My woman is fire…

“Earth to Zenith?”

He took a leisurely sip from his mug and looked around the coffee shop then back in her direction.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah? That’s all you’ve got? We were talking and you disappeared, got all vacant in the eyes on me.” She crossed her long legs, clad in black slacks.

“I was just thinking is all.”

“Thinking about what?” Grabbing her tall cup of black coffee with two packets of Splenda mixed in, she took a sip.

“You ever notice that coffee beans look like pussy?”

The woman simply glared at him and twisted her lips to the side but said nothing, her reaction watered down like hole-in-the-wall liquor, and he loved it.

“It does, like when the pussy is closed up.” He took another sip from his cup, acting all casual like. “Take a look next time. Anyway, what I was really thinking about was our conversation last night. All of our talks this week, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“The advice you gave me… still thinkin’ about that.”

“The guy you’re training at work? Well,” she said, “you said yourself you’d been thinking the same things he mentioned. You can still work there and find out. I told you that I think you might be scared it just may work, you know? And then what? You like having a security blanket, a sure bet. Nothin’ in the music industry is guaranteed from what I hear.” She took a delicate sip of her coffee.

“It’s not, and you’re right.” He made a face. “I wish I could stop thinking about it, but I can’t. Now, every time I see him he asks me if I practiced that morning. When my Paw has one of his fits, he says all this strange shit but it makes me think… never mind.”

“No, tell me. Makes you think what?”

“Makes me think he is trying to make me tired for work on purpose. He doesn’t bother me when I practice anymore; matter of fact, it’s the only time he is quiet and not getting into trouble. One night, I heard him beating on his wall. He was mimicking what I was doing, Silver. It was…crazy. I started doing things to see if he would copy, and he would, in exactly the same way.”

“Oh, wow.”

“He played regular drums and a few tribal drums, too. He was good, real good… no, he was great. He didn’t get his just due though. One day, when I was a little kid, he took me into a music store. My father had told him I was interested in music, right? This store had all kinds of guitars, pianos, keyboards. He asked me what called to me. I walked over to the drums and he helped me up to sit behind them. He handed me two drumsticks. Now, I’d been in a music store before, with my father, and the same thing happened, so in retrospect, I think he was feeling me out. Anyway, I stared at them, then started to beat on the drums. I started slow, then did it more and more. I didn’t even notice the sales guy, his manager, and the crowd that had gathered. It felt…so natural.”

“You’re a musical prodigy, you know that? You play like Dave Grohl, that’s what your style reminds me of; well, your stage presence.”

“You know Dave Grohl from Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails, huh? You keep impressin’ the shit outta me.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m impressive,” she joked. He smirked. “When you play, though, you actually sound like Neil Peart.”

“Damn… that’s a serious compliment. He’s one of the absolute best of all time… and yeah, I’ve studied him.”

“I can tell. He has good control over his technique. When you play, you look like Animal from the Muppets.”

He burst out laughing.

“I’ve been told that. It sounds funny coming from you though.”

“It’s your long, wild, black hair and your mannerisms. It’s quite entertaining. Anyway, I listened to your band’s mix tape by the way.” Her lips tilted in a cute grin.

“I knew it was missing from my truck. I’m dating a thief.”

“You’ve got plenty of copies and you said I could have it!”

“I did, but I hadn’t given it to you yet. Anyway.” He crossed his arms. “What did you think of it?”

“If you make love how you play, we’re going to have a problem…in a good way.”

His lips curved in a fiendish grin.

“Don’t mess with me… Are you offerin’ the cookies? I’ll take off work for
that
! Let me call my boss ’nd and tell him I’m sick right damn now!” He grabbed his phone and pretended to call.

“You are out of control and the answer is ‘no’,” she snapped, but added a silly little smile.

He acted all broken-hearted as he placed his phone back down against the table. “Why do you tease me?”

“Because it’s fun.”

“Only for you.”

“I appreciate you giving me some time to work this out. Seriously, I do You’ve been great, Zenith. I enjoy us just getting to know one another, taking our time.”

“I do, too, but I can get to know you while that’s happening, too.”

She rolled her eyes and burst out laughing.

“Men can’t win, you know that? If I wasn’t trying to sleep with you, you’d think I was weird or playin’ for the other team. If I am tryin’ to sleep with you, then I’m a dog, or that’s all I want. We can’t win!” He threw up his hands.

“You’re right,” she said, trying to suppress the giggles. “It’s true.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“When was the last time you had sex?” He arched his brow, waiting. “Never mind.” She’d opened her mouth to answer, but he stopped her in her tracks. “Let me guess. It was after your divorce—you dated some other guys—but not since your ex passed away.”

Her smile slowly faded. “Yes, that’s accurate.”

“And when did he die? You never told me…wasn’t important at the time.”

“About six months ago. Six months and three days…”

They sat in silence for a moment or two. Zenith coughed into his hand and sifted through the jumble of words that filled his brain, trying his damnedest to pick the right ones. It wasn’t really all that hard, in the end. Best to keep things simple. Concise. Real.

“I feel something real strong for you, Silver. I told you I loved you the other day, and I meant that.”

“I know… and… I meant what I said, too. It’s like I’ve known you a long time, Zenith.” She glided her fingers along the edge of the table as she disappeared in her thoughts. “It’s kind of strange. I think about you a lot, and I didn’t want to get off the phone this morning. I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time.”

“Nah, more… I need
more
.”

She looked at him in confusion.

“You understand me; you know where I’m coming from. You can finish my sentences. I need more than what we have right now, and we’ll get there.”

She smiled ever so slightly, then started to fidget with an invisible thread on her pants.

“Well, time is ticking. Let’s go out again in the next couple of days.” He looked down at his phone and checked the time. “I know you have to get back to work soon… don’t want to make you late.” She nodded in agreement and reached for her purse, then pulled out her wallet.

“What did I tell you?” He reached in his back pocket and slid out his own.

“I don’t care what you told me. I can help pay sometimes. We’ve been out countless times now. Doesn’t mean I’m any less of a lady, or you are any more of a man. I appreciate what you do, what you say,” She paused and caught his gaze. “But we’re equal.”

“We’re
not
equal, not even close…”

Her face went from anger, to mortification, to smug satisfaction.

He got to his feet and walked to the cash register, bill in hand and his credit card atop his wallet. He didn’t look over his shoulder at her, but had no doubt she was pondering whether to say something slick or simply keep quiet. Knowing Silver the way he’d come to, the quiet would soon be broken like an arrow shooting through the sky. Before he knew it, her shoulder was jammed against his as she pressed her weight into him, making her presence known. She meant to bully, but all she did was turn him the hell on.

“We’re equal,” she whispered.

“No, we’re not.” He handed the host the check and card, then looked down at her. “You’re on another plane, I’m tryna get on your level, baby… end of discussion.”