Grim Offerings (Aisling Grimlock Book 2) (16 page)

“Cillian is warm for her form,” I said, enjoying the hurt look that washed over Angelina’s face. What? I don’t like hurting everyone. She is a special case.

“I think he’s just naturally flirty,” Maya said. I had no idea why she was trying to spare Angelina’s feelings. If the roles were reversed, Angelina would walk over Maya’s back as she gasped for breath on the floor.

“He wants to make sweet love to her while Shania Twain is singing in the background,” I said.

“Are you trying to upset her?” Maya asked.

“She broke into my house!”

“I tried knocking,” Angelina said. “All the lights were out.”

“So, you naturally just let yourself in,” I said. “I’m calling the police.”

“Why?”

“You’re breaking and entering,” I said. “That’s a crime.”

“You broke into my house when we were in high school and stole all of my underwear,” Angelina countered. “You then wrote my phone number on them and handed them out at truck stops.”

“I handed them out at one truck stop,” I countered. I turned to Maya. “They were very slutty underwear. The truckers kept sniffing them.”

“One of them called me!” Angelina was incensed.

“And I handed out twenty pairs,” I said. “That should tell you a little something about the way you smell.”

“I hate you,” Angelina growled.

“Right back at you.”

“Okay,” Maya said, holding up her hands. “Can’t you two call a ceasefire?”

“Only if someone actually shoots and kills her,” I said.

“I hope you get herpes,” Angelina said.

“I hope you get leprosy.”

“I hope you get Ebola.”

“I hope you get … shh … did you hear that?”

“Oh, you’re not going to do that again, are you?” Maya had gone from irritated to irate in two seconds flat. “It’s probably your brothers coming back.”

“Why is it so dark in here?” Angelina complained.

“I … .” I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence, because Angelina’s body flew in my direction as another form filled the door frame.

I recognized this one, too, and it wasn’t one of my brothers. “Run!”

“What is that?”

I shoved Angelina off of me. Her weight had been enough to knock me over and we’d both tumbled to the ground during the confusion. The wraith stood above us, its cloak billowing, but it was clearly unsure what to do. The element of surprise was gone and there were more of us than it probably had banked on.

“It’s our neighbor,” I lied. “He’s addicted to Halloween.”

“Your neighbor is seven feet tall?” Maya’s voice was shrill.

“He likes to walk on stilts.” I slapped Angelina for good measure. “Stop grabbing at my arm like that.”

“Stop slapping me.”

“Get out of my house.”

“You don’t even live here.”

“What is wrong with you two?” Maya asked. “There’s a … monster … in your house.”

“Only when I have PMS,” I said. I had no idea what I was doing. I was at a loss. The proverbial cat was out of the bag, and this was going to be really hard to explain. Maybe I could hit Maya hard enough to knock her out and tell her she’d imagined the whole thing, but I knew Griffin would frown on me doing that to his sister. That also didn’t solve the other problem in the room.

“Aisling Grimlock.”

Crap.

“It knows your name,” Angelina said. “You probably gave it herpes and it wants payback.”

“Why don’t you look in his underwear and see,” I suggested. “We’ll wait here.”

“I can’t believe you two are arguing like this,” Maya said. “It’s just … unbelievable.”

I rolled over and fixed her with a look. “You need to run now.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to feed Angelina to our friend, and then I’ll be right behind you.”

“Aisling,” the wraith hissed, extending its fingers.

I pointed at it harshly. “You stand right there,” I said. “I have a few other things to handle. I’ll be with you in a second.”

“I am not leaving you,” Maya said. I had to give her credit. She was terrified, but she refused to abandon me to certain death. Unfortunately, she made things harder rather than helping.

“You need to find my father and brothers,” I said. “Tell them our neighbor is off his meds again. They’ll know what to do.”

Maya pushed herself to her feet, uncertain. “But … .”

“It will be fine,” I said. “Go now!”

Maya didn’t argue further. She turned on her heel and disappeared into the house. I only hoped the wraith was alone. If she came upon one while looking for help she wouldn’t survive. I didn’t know what else to do, though.

“Why didn’t you give me the option of going to get help?” Angelina sniffed.

“Because you’ll steal stuff,” I said, hoisting myself to a standing position.

“I am not a thief,” Angelina said, getting to her feet. I couldn’t help but notice she purposely kept me in front of her in case the wraith attacked. “You must have me confused with you.”

“You stole every boyfriend I had in high school.”

“You can’t steal a person,” Angelina said. “They came willingly.”

“You suck balls.”

“Who told you that?”

I wrinkled my nose and turned my attention back to the wraith. “So, are you selling Girl Scout cookies? I like the samoas, but I’ll settle for the thin mints.”

“Aisling Grimlock must not be hurt.”

“Awesome,” I said. “That is great news.” I pointed at Angelina. “What about her? Can you hurt her?”

The wraith shifted his attention to Angelina, confused.

“I know she looks all gristly, but I’m betting she tastes just like chicken,” I offered.

“You shut your hole,” Angelina said. “If that thing is going to eat someone, it should definitely be you. You’re much fatter. You’ll get a lot more meat off of her,” she told the wraith.

“I am not fat!”

“You’re a tub.”

I smacked her again, simply because I could.

“If you do that one more time … .”

“You’ll what, pull my hair until I die?”

Angelina squared her shoulders. “Excuse me, sir. If you could just move to the side a little bit, I’ll be going.”

The wraith cocked its head.

If Angelina had easy access to a door – whether it led inside or outside – she would have already fled. Unfortunately for her, she was trapped behind me. Every time she tried to edge around my back and move toward the door that led inside the house I cut her off. What? If I’m dying, I’m taking her with me.

“Mine,” the wraith hissed.

“Why do you guys keep saying stuff like that?” I asked. “Are you bored all day and have nothing to do but watch
Lord of the Rings
?”

“Oh, is that your new plan, you’re going to geek it to death?” Angelina snapped.

I smacked her again.

“I am going to kill you,” Angelina seethed, rubbing her cheek. “I’m going to have a bruise tomorrow. How am I going to explain that?”

“Tell people you read
Fifty Shades of Grey
and wanted to explore your inner whore,” I suggested. “Trust me. They’ll believe you.”

“Mine,” the wraith repeated.

I took a step to the side. “You can have her.”

“Aisling!” Angelina squeaked.

The wraith moved toward Angelina, its gaze shifting to me to see whether I would attack.

“Go ahead,” I prodded.

Once the wraith’s attention was fully on Angelina, I grabbed the marble statue off the nearby table. It was incredibly heavy, but if I could beat a wraith to death with a brick I was sure I could do it with Dad’s ugly statue.

Angelina retreated, her face flushed with fear. “I … oh … I don’t want to die.”

“Then you shouldn’t have broken into my house,” I said, moving behind the wraith. I didn’t hesitate. I slammed the statue down on the back of its head three times before it dissolved into a pile of ash.

Once it exploded all over her, Angelina started screaming. It truly was loud enough to wake the dead.

“I’M SUING
you.”

Redmond handed Angelina an ice pack so she could press it to her cheek. “You broke into our house.”

“And I was attacked,” Angelina said. “First, that fat cow slapped me.”

I raised my hand to hit her again, but Aidan snatched it back. “Don’t make things worse.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” I said, pointing to the couch where Griffin was sitting with his arm around Maya. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but he was obviously trying to soothe her. I sensed a very uncomfortable conversation in my immediate future. “At least let me have my fun.”

“She has slapped me like five times since I walked into this house,” Angelina said.

“You mean broke into this house,” Dad corrected, fixing Angelina with a scornful look. “I could have you arrested.”

“Oh, you’re not going to do that,” Angelina said. “Then you’d have to explain how Aisling killed a monster in the foyer.”

“What monster?” Braden asked. “We didn’t see a monster.”

“That’s because it poofed into dust when she hit it with that incredibly ugly statue.”

Dad made a face. “That is an antique.”

“Well, it’s ugly,” Angelina said.

“So is your face,” I said.

Dad held up his hand to still me as he hunkered down so he was at Angelina’s eye level. “You and I are going to come to an understanding,” he said. “I’m not going to press charges for you breaking into this house, and you’re going to keep your mouth shut about what happened here tonight.”

“And if I don’t?” Angelina challenged.

“Then I’m going to take Aisling’s leash off and let her do every horrible thing to you that she’s ever wanted to do,” Dad said.

“There’s something worse than what she’s already done?”

“You have no idea,” Dad said.

Angelina glanced around the room, finally focusing on Cillian. “Aren’t you going to say something?”

Cillian shrugged. “Goodbye.”

Angelina took the opportunity to leave, but I could see her mind working. She was trying to figure out how to use the situation to her advantage, but she knew she would sound like a crazy person if she told anyone what happened. Once she was gone, Maya became our primary concern.

“So, you guys aren’t really antiquities dealers, are you?” Her voice was even, but her eyes were watery.

“No,” Dad said.

“Are you … monsters, too?”

“Only when Aisling has PMS,” Aidan said.

“And DMS,” Jerry added.

“What’s DMS?” Braden asked, confused.

“During Menstrual Syndrome.”

“Oh, fun.”

“Speaking of that, I picked up tampons for you for next week,” Jerry said, patting me on the shoulder. “I knew you’d forget.”

I glanced at Griffin, mortified.

“Thanks for the heads up,” he said, nonplussed. He was rubbing Maya’s shoulder, his eyes distant. “Are we sure it was just the one wraith?”

“You know what that thing was?” Maya asked, incredulous.

“It’s not the first one I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with,” he said.

“Is that how you met Aisling?”

“Yes.”

“And what are you?” Maya asked, shifting her eyes to me. “Are you … vampires?”

“No, but that would be totally cool,” I said.

“Aisling, let me do the talking,” Dad said. “You’ll just make things worse.”

“Thank you for having faith in me,” I said.

He ignored me and focused on Maya. “How much do you want to know?”

“I want to know all of it.”

“All of it?”

Maya crossed her arms over her chest. “All of it.”

Dad sighed. “Okay, someone make drinks,” he said. “This is going to be a long night.”

“THAT
is … .” Maya was hard to read. She’d listened to my father’s story quietly, interjecting only a handful of questions over the duration of what felt like a weeklong dissertation, and now that it was over she seemed to be processing.

“Freaky?” Jerry supplied. “Don’t worry. I thought that, too. You’ll get used to it. Now I think it’s cool.”

“Cool?”

“My boyfriend is a super hero,” Jerry said, his eyes sparkling.

Aidan puffed out his chest.

“Yeah, he’s Poutyman,” I said.

Braden cuffed the back of my head. “Not now.”

“Hey, in case you didn’t notice, I took out another wraith today,” I said. “I did it all by myself. That’s two in the same week. You should all be bowing down and thanking me for being awesome.”

“Fine, you’re awesome,” Dad said. “You’re still sleeping in the dungeon tonight.”

“Oh, I’m not staying here,” I said.

“All of you are staying here,” Dad said, straightening.

“Even me?” Maya was confused.

“Even you,” Dad said. “The security system is back up and running, and no one is leaving this house until dawn.”

I opened my mouth to argue.

“No one,” Dad said.

“Fine,” I grumbled. “I’m not sleeping in the dungeon, though. I don’t want to see a snake.”

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Dad asked. “Your brother made that story up.”

“I’m still terrified of snakes.”

“That’s probably why your sex life was so dismal before Griffin,” Jerry said.

I shot him the finger.

“I happen to love snakes,” Jerry said.

“We know, Jerry,” Dad said, rubbing his forehead, exhaustion rolling over him.

“I’m not sure what to think about all of this,” Maya admitted.

“I know that, too,” Dad said. “Why don’t you sleep on it? I have a feeling you’re going to have more questions tomorrow. They’ll be easier to ask on a full stomach.”

“And I might need some nursing tonight,” Cillian said. “I feel a relapse coming on. I think a sponge bath will help.”

Griffin scowled, but the hint of the smile playing at the corner of Maya’s lips told me she was as enamored with Cillian as he was with her.

“It’s settled then,” Dad said, getting to his feet. “I’ll have the maid make up guest rooms for Griffin and Maya.”

I balked. “Griffin is sleeping in my room – with me.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Dad said.

“Why does it matter?” I asked.

“You’re not married,” Dad said. “You can only share a bed under my roof if you’re married.”

“Is Jerry going to have to sleep in a guest room, too?”

“Oh, thanks,” Aidan muttered.

Dad faltered. “Yes.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I know what you’re doing,” I said.

“Good,” Dad said. “I wasn’t trying to be subtle.”

“It will be fine,” Griffin said, weary. “I think we all should just get some sleep. It doesn’t matter where everyone does it.”