Gray (Book 3) (21 page)

The eyes around the table looked longingly at the food, but no one protested when Coral reached over and pushed the plate to Abigail, who shot her a grateful look.

“So tell me about this missing man,” Coral said, and she listened to her table-mates dissect the fellow’s personality and speculate on why he might have gone missing.

“Maybe he pissed off Levi,” said Doug.

There was a sudden shocked silence at the table. Coral could see him jerk when Abigail kicked him under the table.

Coral said, “Is there any hint of foul play? Was his room trashed or anything?”

“No,” said Beth. “He’s just...gone.” She changed the subject immediately. Doug’s comment had changed the mood at the table.

Coral tuned her out and thought about the possibility the man had been murdered and what would be done about it. It wasn’t as if they had a fully stocked forensic lab. Coral herself might be asked to do an autopsy. And then what? An arrest? A trial? More public shaming? Summary execution of the murderer? She wondered if there was any system in place for a serious crime.

Not her business. She was leaving here—remember? Benjamin was looking at her. She gave him a reassuring smile.

Doug left the table a minute after that, saying he had to stop by the library, and Abigail watched him go. As the three of them walked back to the apartment, she confided that she was worried about him. “I think he got into it with Parnell or Levi today,” she said.

“Over what?”

“I don’t know. The books, maybe? Something has been eating at him for a couple days.”

Coral wondered if he suspected his wife was pregnant. Maybe he’d appealed to Levi for a reconsideration of the rule against babies. “Doug doesn’t seem to like Levi.”

“I don’t know that many people
like
Levi. Or even know him very well. He’s kept us organized, and alive, and we’re grateful. But Doug never did accept people telling him what to do.”

“I’m surprised he was in grad school, then. Isn’t that all about people telling you what to do?”

“He picked the most—I don’t know what to call him. Lazy? Cavalier? Drunken anyway, thesis advisor in his department for just that reason. But he had a run-in with one prof. He’s far too willing to challenge the leaders. I wish he’d try and get along here, though.”

Coral thought Abigail had a good point. Rebel all you want, resist all you want in your mind, but pretend to agree. Don’t make yourself a target. She had learned that the hard way. “If you want me to talk to him when he gets back—”

“Ye gods, no. He’ll keep you up all night arguing about the philosophical underpinnings of whatever.” She laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “I hope whatever he’s doing right now, it’s not arguing with those guys.”

She and Benjamin kept Abigail company until Doug came home. He looked angry when he came in the door, but when he looked at Abigail’s worried face, he looked sheepish. “I’m going out tomorrow with the next scavenge.”

“I thought it wasn’t your turn yet.”

“It is now.”

“What have you gotten yourself into? You didn’t argue with Levi or Parnell, did you?”

“I offered to help look for Will is all.”

“Did you get into an argument?”

“No,” Doug said. “And in a way, I won. We’ll be scavenging and looking for Will, both.”

“Oh, Doug.”

“I need to clean my rifle,” he said, and he trotted up the stairs.

A moment later, Abigail gave Coral a wan smile and followed him.

“Hmm,” said Coral. “So they use these assignments as punishment.”

“I don’t think that’s quite it,” said Benjamin. “It’s more a reminder: we run things.”

“Change of subject. I have a first aid kit put together for us and hidden in one of the empty rooms at the clinic. I left the window unlocked, so we can get to it any time.” She had left most of the medical supplies alone.

“Good. I’ve finished turning our sacks into backpacks. Your old boots are repaired, though you might want to carry what you have on now as backups.”

Coral glanced down at her shoes, which were not built for long-distance hiking. “Better than nothing, but are they worth the weight?”

“I think the repair on the boots should hold up—for a while at least. A month or two.”

“I hope we’re still alive in a month or two.” If the scavenging teams weren’t finding food, how would they?

He ignored that. “I have the rifle. I’ll take any chance I can to take more ammo. Your knife, the fishing gear, still in your bag?”

“Yeah. We’re missing the hatchet, though. I’d like that back.”

“I’ve been keeping my eye out for it. No luck so far.”

“We’ll miss it if we can’t find it.”

“Yeah.”

“We have to get to the MREs.”

“There’s one in my pack from the trip.”

“That’s good. You didn’t starve yourself to keep it?”

“No. If I get sent out again before we leave, I might find a way to grab another one or two.”

“If only I could figure out how to get into the kitchen stores. At night, when no one else is there.”

“Are they left alone at night?”

“I assumed yeah, there were.”

“There may be a guard on duty. Or two.”

“Really?”

“Makes sense. The residual heat from the stoves would make it a great assignment, too. In fact, it makes sense to put a few people in there, not one. One person might steal food with no one the wiser. Three or four people, rotated from night to night, would keep their eyes on each other.”

“There has to be some way to grab some food. We’ll figure it out.” She stood and reached out her hand. He took it and they went up to bed together.

The next day in the clinic, as they were setting up for the day, Coral asked Edith about the missing man. “He wouldn’t be the first we’ve lost.”

“No?”

“There was a woman who disappeared maybe two weeks before you came. Same thing, no sign of where or when or how. Same kind of person, too, slightly strange. She kept to herself, hardly spoke at meals.”

“No kids?”

“No attachments of any sort.” She finished wiping down the exam table. “And early on, there were a lot of people who left. Some went off, alone or in pairs, to find what they hoped was a better place. Others might have been killing themselves, walking off, unsupplied, until they fell down from exhaustion. Or maybe they threw themselves in the river. This was before it was iced up.”

“Do you think this guy did something like that? Wandered off to die?”

“No idea. The woman a couple of weeks ago, yeah, I think that might have been suicide. I didn’t know her—no one did, but she was a poster child for depression.”

“In general, do you think the mental health of people here is getting better or worse?”

Edith hesitated. “I don’t know. There was a winnowing process at the beginning. People who are left are pretty stable, for the most part. But I’ve seen short tempers lately.”

“That could be from hunger.”

“Maybe.” The bell at the front desk rang, three sharp dings. “Starting early today.”

“I’m ready,” said Coral. It was a busy day, too. There seemed to be a touch of something going around—maybe the early stages of the flu. She saw headaches and soreness and what might have been slight fevers, mostly in children. With all the medicines in the world, she couldn’t have done much for them. As it was, there was nothing she could do.

What Coral didn’t understand is how these people could have contracted a virus. Did flu viruses sit dormant somewhere? Had someone on the scavenging party touched something that still held germs after all these months? If it were a rhinovirus—the common cold—it should take a few days from exposure to symptoms. But there were forms of the flu that manifested more quickly. She hoped it wasn’t flu, or a lot of people could get sick, very fast.

At the end of the clinic day, Coral left Edith to clean up while she ran over to the kitchen and gave the workers the news. “We might have a flu or mono or something going around. Make sure you wash all the dishes in really hot water tonight. And spread the news not to share utensils or plates.” It was the only thing she could think of doing, except for refusing to let people congregate at all.

Abigail was fretful at dinner, and Coral tried to engage her in conversation. She’d skipped breakfast this morning again, and Coral didn’t like how she was picking at her food now. She hoped she could do something for Abigail—at least pass along some advice—before she left.

The clinic stayed busy for two more days with people suffering from the mystery disease, through the day Doug and Parnell were due back, along with two others who had gone with them.

Abigail was in a panic that night, but Coral tried to reassure her that there was nothing to worry about. Benjamin’s group had been a day late. It didn’t mean anything awful.

Two men from the scavenging team came back the next afternoon. Doug and Parnell did not.

Benjamin heard a secondhand report of what had happened and came to the clinic to tell Coral. “They got separated. The two teams split up, and then there was that snow, and they had to dig in and wait it out.”

It had snowed here, too, pretty fiercely for a few hours, but Coral had been busy in the clinic and had barely paid it any attention. The paths had been kept clear by teams of snow-shovelers, and it had barely registered. She had other things to think about. Abigail’s unwanted pregnancy. The flu or whatever it was, which so far had spared her and most of the adults in Boise. Her and Benjamin’s plan to leave town. And now there was Doug, missing. Parnell, she couldn’t work up much concern over. But Doug was her friend.

“Has anyone told Abigail?”

“I don’t know, but you know this place. The gossip will bring her the news.”

“I wish I could tell her myself. Could you?”

“Do you know where she is?”

“What day is it?” That was another odd thing about Boise. They knew here what date it was, what the day of the week. Schedules ran by the week, and Sunday mornings everyone but kitchen staff and border guards had off work for religious services or rest.

“Thursday.”

“If it’s Thursday, she’s at the laundry.”

“I’ll go talk to her, if you want.”

She glanced around. “That’ll give you a chance to check out the laundry.” Neither of them could wander about as they pleased, and there was no telling where they might find supplies for their travels. They should take this chance to scope out the laundry.

For some reason, the afternoon at the clinic was slower than it had been. Maybe the illness was a mild cold virus, and everyone who could get sick had already come in. She sent Edith home again, and the woman was so grateful, Coral felt a stab of guilt about leaving, especially leaving without a word.

She planned to use paper—there were a few blank pages in the books she had brought here—and leave notes for Edith and for Doug and Abigail, thanking them for kindness, and wishing them luck. But she wouldn’t warn anyone of her and Benjamin’s departure. They were going to walk away in the night, sneak past the perimeter guard, and be well away from town by dawn.

She did her best to distract Abigail that evening, but of course she was worried about Doug, as Coral had been worried when Benjamin came back late. “He knows how to take care of himself,” Coral said. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything like, “I’m sure he’s okay.” She wasn’t sure, and she knew how easy it would be to get hurt out there, or run into a dangerous person.

The image of those severed feet hanging on the town sign came back to her. She didn’t care for Parnell, but even him she didn’t want to see come to that terrible end.

Coral grew so tired, she had to get to bed. “I’m sorry, but it has been so busy at work,” she said to Abigail.

“No, I’m sorry for monopolizing you.” Benjamin had already gone up to bed.

“We’ll talk tomorrow morning. Try not to stay up. At least climb into bed and rest. There’s a virus going around, and you’re pregnant.”

“I’m not keeping the baby.”

“I know. But you might be weakened—little food, pregnant—and it could hit you harder.”

“Thank you for staying up with me. You’re a good friend.”

That gave Coral another twinge of guilt. “‘Goodnight,” she said.

The next day started with Abigail vomiting noisily in the next room. Coral moaned and dragged herself out of bed, realizing she had to find some way to trigger a miscarriage for Abigail now, in the next day or two, before Benjamin and Coral left.

She was fumbling for her shoes when Benjamin tugged at her arm. “Coral.”

“Mmm?”

“Is Abigail pregnant?”

Coral froze, then made herself keep moving as normal. But it had been enough of an answer.

“What if Doug doesn’t come back?”

Coral dropped her shoe and turned back around. “Do you think he’s not going to?”

“It’s always a risk.”

“How many have they lost on scavenging patrol, do you know?”

“A couple of months ago, one team failed to come back at all, is what I heard. It may be we never see Parnell or Doug again. Then what?”

She reached over and brushed at his beard. “You’re letting it grow out again.”

“It’s warmer that way,” he said, taking her hand. “What about Abigail?”

“You know I can’t break confidentiality.”

“Is she going to sue you if you do?”

She shook her head. “Still, it doesn’t feel right to talk about it.”

“She’ll die if she has a baby. It’ll die, and she’ll die.”

Coral said, “She’ll die anyway. She doesn’t have what it takes. I thought about it, more than once. About asking the two of them to come with us. Doug would be okay, but he wouldn’t go without her, and I’m afraid she’s just not...” She shook her head. “I hate to be this pragmatic, this cold, and about someone who has been kind to me. But I don’t think we can carry her. Not literally—”

“No. I know what you mean. Can you live with it? With deciding that?”

“Yeah. I don’t like myself very much when I dwell on it. But I won’t dwell on it. I won’t have time. I’ll be busy keeping you and me alive.” She turned again to put on her shoes.

“Let’s talk later, find a private place,” Benjamin said. “We haven’t talked enough about our plans to leave. I’d like to set a firm date.”

“You’re right.” She leaned back and kissed him. “Gotta go help Ab.” She went out and found Abigail sitting in the dark stairwell, next to a puddle of thin vomit. “Hey, hon, why don’t you crawl back into bed, and I’ll clean this up.”

She didn’t move. “I’m so tired.”

“Did you sleep?”

“A little.”

“Pregnancy can make you tired.” She grabbed Abigail’s arm and tugged at it.

Abigail stood and braced her hand against the wall. “How can I feel so sick and so hungry all at once?”

“Can you eat?”

“Depends on what they feed us. Plain cereal, or cereal with fruit, I think I might be able to handle. No fish or meat, though.”

Coral helped her back into bed and then cleaned the stairs of the vomit. The rag she used she scrubbed outside in the snow. No one was around to question her, which was good, but she didn’t think Abigail would be able to keep her pregnancy a secret much longer. If Benjamin had guessed, probably others who spent time with Abigail had begun to suspect, too.

The day’s work took over then, and she could spare little thought for Abigail or for herself and Benjamin and their plans to leave. She had a weird case at the clinic, a woman in her thirties who had been having problems with hand tremors. Coral hoped she wasn’t seeing a case of MS or Parkinson’s, for there was no help in this world for people with those types of diseases. The patient, Megan, didn’t seem particularly stressed out, so Coral didn’t think it was a psychological problem. She thought it was medical, but she hadn’t a clue what was causing it. Megan stoically accepted her apology for being unable to help and went away, walking slowly, as if controlling her legs was a problem, too.

It wasn’t until dinner, another soup that seemed over-flavored with some dried herb, that it struck Coral that maybe some kitchen herb could induce a miscarriage. Why hadn’t she thought about it before now? Idiot. She’d need a herbal remedy book, if there was one to be found, and she’d need to look over the kitchen’s supplies. She gulped her soup down, went into the kitchen, and asked a kitchen worker if she’d show her the dried herb supply. She memorized the names and dropped by the dining room to tell Abigail and Benjamin she was going to the library, and she took off at a near-run.

Benjamin caught up with her outside the dining hall. “What’s up? Why are you going there?”

“I had a medical brainstorm.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Parnell’s out with Doug. Who’s in charge when Parnell isn’t there?”

Benjamin named two men. “But the library may be shut down.”

“They lock it at night?”

“Yeah. I think they worry that people will come in and steal books to burn for heat.”

She was in luck. There was a guard at the door, and he said Levi was still there.

Benjamin went upstairs with her but hung back amongst the piles of books as Coral went to Levi’s office. She interrupted a loud discussion when she knocked on the door, and it belatedly occurred to her that she should have listened first. Oh well, not her business, and anyway, this was more important.

The man with Levi was vaguely familiar—she thought she’d seen him in the dining hall, but she didn’t know his name. “I’m needing to look at any herbal guide, herbal medicine books, garden books on herbs. They’re not in the clinic, but you must have pulled them out to save early on. Where are those filed?”

“Why do you need them?” asked Levi. “There aren’t any plants growing anywhere.”

“No. Chef has a few herbs though, and it struck me one may have a medical use.”

“Oh. Yeah, two rooms over. Don’t take any with you, but read if you want. Here, you’ll need a lamp.” The other man lit a second lamp, and he took her to the room and unlocked a door for her.

“Thanks,” she said and began to hunt through the books. In a few minutes, Benjamin joined her.

“Pull the door shut. They were arguing, I think, when I came up.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. But I thought if you might feel like eavesdropping...”

“You don’t need my help in here?”

“I need to find the right section of books first.” She was walking along the shelves, and she spied a title about gardening. “I think this is it. Thanks, but there are only a couple. I can manage alone.”

He said something she didn’t register, and she was vaguely aware of him leaving the room. She sat cross-legged to study the botany titles. There were books on hydroponics gardening and greenhouses, and regular gardens, too. There were three herbals, and she pulled them down and looked in the indexes.