Gravity: A Novel (30 page)

Since the accident, I ha
ve thrown out life’s labels and definitive titles in reference to these crucial moments we experience, realizing that life is just one big puzzle. It’s as if we were born with all the pieces and everything has its place in the end—when all is said and done, when the picture is complete. But—the length of time that it takes us to get there, the number of tries placing the pieces before we realize that they don’t fit after all, the order at which we choose to put them together—that is all part of life, our own individual journey. We can finally make sense of it once every piece is in place and we can see the big picture.

I never believed in fate or destiny
. Hell, I barely believed in God. But after what I have been through, I can’t deny the presence of something else. Beyond what we can see and touch. And sometimes there is no logical explanation, no sense to be made—sometimes it just
is
.

As I finish the last warm sip of my coffee, I hear a gentle cry from the room down the hall.
Just in tim
e
, I think, as I forgo my coffee cup and follow my heart, which leads me to my son, a smile stretching across my face.

I approach his crib and watch his tear-filled features turn to gold as he sees my face above him.

“Hey, little man,” I coo.

He respond
s in giggles, tiny bubbles erupting from his mouth.

I
drink him in, his soft chubby cheeks, tiny pink lips, and large round chocolate-colored eyes, just like his daddy’s. My heart swells at the sight of my son, and I pick him up and snuggle him close to me, inhaling his sweet baby scent. I wrap his favorite blue cashmere blanket around him and make my way to the porch to enjoy our morning ritual just as dawn kisses the clear dark sky.

I
t is in these quiet moments at the lake that I sense
hi
m
. I hear him in the gentle ebb and flow of the water against the shore, the steady stream of the copper creek that flows behind the cabin. I feel him in the wind that sways through the evergreens, carrying their scent in the air like a gentle caress. He is everywhere, in everything that I see, feel, and hear, and yet he is nowhere. But mostly he is within me, filling my heart and soul. Reminding me that, indeed, nothing lasts forever and that I should embrace each day for what it is and hold on fiercely to those I love, to not let the trivial things in life obscure the simplicity of love itself.

I
sit on the porch swing, swaying gently back and forth, as the sun rises slowly over the distant mountains, shedding light on the trees, the lake, and everything else in its wake, while a new day unfolds before my very eyes. I hold my infant son tightly in my arms, quietly thanking God, the universe—fate—for this gift. I still can’t believe that my son is real, that he is mine and here in my arms. At times I wonder if he is somehow a gift from Drew or that my baby’s life is possible because of Drew’s death. A life for a life. It is an odd thought to have and even stranger that I would find any comfort in it. Still I can’t help but wonder. I silently thank Drew as well, feeling almost certain that he is sharing this moment with me, watching me, smiling down at us. I smile back and take a deep breath, enjoying the beauty of the morning and the peace that fills me when I am here, at the lake.

I look down into my son’s big brown eyes
, full of silent wonder, staring back at me, and whisper, “What are the possibilities for today, Andrew Jacob Walsh?”

I relish
in the knowledge that the possibilities for this day, this moment—this life—are endless.

Acknowledgments

What a wild ride it has been.
After the release of
Ripple
, I have been wrapped up in this crazy but cozy world of self-published Indie Authors and bloggers, feeling so much love and support.  To my readers: Thank you for taking a chance on me, you make it all worth it.  And please, consider leaving a review on Amazon.  It makes a world of difference!

I have to start by thanking my husband and my two wonderful children for all their love, support, and acceptance! You three are by far my biggest fans, and I love you to the moon and back!

To my family: Mom, Dad, Christy, Alan . . . Thanks for always believing in me and for loving me unconditionally. To Scott Hille, Mitch Hille, Nancy Hille, Mary Reilly, RaeAnn Telecky, . . . summers wouldn’t have been the same without you. Sailboats, firecrackers, sand castles, beer-bottle pipe organs. Love you all! And to Cassie “Valdez”—how could I forget your part in it all!

A special thanks to the Carper family: Robin, Sherri, Krista, Cory, Chad. . . . Thank you for all the years of memories at the lake. You opened your arms and welcomed me like family then and even now, years later. I can’t thank you enough.

To my beta-readers: Colleen McCarthy, Kristin Gentry, Debbie Bayley, Maria Rafael, and Chauna Carlson. Thank you for taking the time to read this story, for loving it despite the work it still needed, and for giving me the feedback that was necessary to perfect it!

To my amazing friends and community, old and new: Thank you for the support and wonderful messages. You truly inspire me to keep writing, and validate my choice to write and share my words with the world.

Thank you to all the bloggers out there for the endless support! Indie Authors wouldn’t be heard without all of you, so
thank you, thank you
! Special thanks to Ena Burnette with Swoon Worthy Books and Enticing Journey Book Promotions. You are amazing. Thank you for believing in
Ripple
and helping me to get it out there!

Thank you to Gary, Caroline, and Denise at BubbleCow. Your advice, expertise, and comments were essential in making this story shine. And I appreciate the fact that you can be critical without deflating my ego too much!

And finally a thank-you to Priest Lake for the inspiration. You will always be that special place in my heart, where the memories will live on and on. . . .