Gravity (23 page)

Our eyes meet as if Dash can hear me,
confirming my thoughts. Even though he isn't a mind reader, he has
a keen sense of things. His attention to detail is worrisome.
Hiding and being ignored is what I'm used to. Not being a focus of
someone’s attention.

Dash
handcuffs
himself to the long
chain, which is chained to the bed. He throws the keys to our
handcuffs across the room. Hearing keys hit the floor, I question
if this is a good idea. We're locked so we can’t touch, but the
moment he enters my aura space there will be no turning back. I
fear whatever friendship we would’ve had is now out the window. I
hope for Dash's sake he knows what he’s doing.

"First
, you need to
relax."

"I am
relaxed."
My heart is racing
like the Indie 500.

"I can see
you're not. Just try to meditate. I know you're good at
that.”

Jesus, has he been watching me?

"You remember
how your
body feels when you
do that? Find that."

I can't relax
with Dash's eyes staring at me.

"I don't feel
anything. It's hard because I'm usually alone when I
meditate."

"Gabriel, you
need to try harder. The whole idea is to be able be near people.
You can't do that with no one around. Focus on your aura, the space
around you. You should be able to make it shrink back. Move the
energy inside of you. Pull it back."

I
close my eyes and after few minutes
of silence my body relaxes.

"Let your
breathing slow.
"

I sink into my
state, drowning out the world, except for Dash's lulling
voice.

***

Dash

His chest rises
and lowers slowly and more evenly. His brow is no longer
knotted. His jaw is lowered slightly
and his hands aren't balled up. The details tell me that Gabriel is
completely relaxed. "Now with each breath, imagine pulling your
energy inside of you. Breathe it in with each breath."

I
study the micro details of Gabriel’s
body which display he may be successful in the task. I slowly step
closer not to disturb his focus. I take a final step forward
confirming his aura had indeed moved.

Taking another
step
, my nervous breathing
breaks his concentration. His eyes flash open and his aura expands
like a wave crashing over me.

Gabriel's face
changes; his eyes turn dark and hungry. He attempts to step
forward, but his handcuffs won't allow it. His intensity shoots a
vibration through me like an electrical shock. Struck with desire I
couldn’t have conjured myself, I obediently come forward as far as
the chain would allow me. A fire burns within Gabriel's eyes. A
fire I want to feed. I read the details in his body language,
taking in every muscle movement, allowing the pheromones to
intoxicate me. I'm love drunk and below my belt aches. I have an
overwhelming need to unlock our handcuffs and bath in more of
Gabriel. But I remember I threw the keys across the room. I scurry
for the keys and reach helplessly.

The clingy
sensation leaves my skin as I l
eave Gabriel's aura space.

"This
wasn't a good idea." He crouches with
nowhere to hide.

I
give up on the keys. My body is still
reacting to Gabriel, so I sit still not to disturb between my legs
any further. “It’s fine.” My breathing is a giveaway that I'm
not.

"I'm sorry."
Gabriel says. "I'm hopeless. I feel like it came out
stronger."

"No. You did it." My voice is not quite my
own. I watch him drag his fingers through his black hair. My
ability to see detail adds to my new obsession—Gabriel is
fascinating. "Whatever you did, do it again." I pull my jeans a
little for some relief.

"I don't think I can.
I don't think I should."

"You have to. You have to be able to suck it
in even when you’re distracted."

"I
can't.
I-I need a
moment."

"Yes, you can.
Now is better. That energy can be manipulated. Use it. Pull it in."
I say firmly.

Gabriel
's eyes are weary
and his body is limp from the energy burst.

"Do it for
Violet. You'll be able to be closer to her—close enough to touch
her."

He
closes his eyes and
smiles.

"Whatever
you
’re doing right now keep
doing it." My hand reaches out in front of me. "It's working." I
can hear his breath has purpose. His breathing staggers out and
lets it go.

"See? You did
it quicker this time. Did you feel it? Where your aura went and
what you were doing to keep it there?"

Gabriel nods.
His smile is amazing. "I can feel it gathering in my
chest."

I comb
my
hair out of my face.
"Practice. More practice." I scan Gabriel's happy face. There's
brightness in his eyes that lights up his entire being. I'm helping
him. The ache below the belt returns. "Again." I orders.

***

Gabriel

"Again," Dash
says
. I uncomfortably cuffed
to the railing with my hand is above my head. I'm exhausted. My
aura pulsing in and out of my body takes a lot out of me. Not to
mention Dash's greedy eyes. I know he's helping me but those eyes.
He's not okay.

"You don’t
look
good." I watch Dash move
his leg like someone with too much caffeine in their
system.

"I'm
fine.
"

"
I know what happens
after, Dash."

"What do you
mean?"
He pokes at the keyhole
in his cuffs with a paperclip.

"People get
weird."

"Well, you're
in luck, I'm already weird." He blows his hair from his
eyes.

I can see
that.
"I mean usually people
tend to get obsessive or embarrassed. I make them feel—"

I don't know how to tell Dash I know the real
reason he's helping me. I left an impression. Just like Josh, Dash
will no longer be a friend, but see me as something more.

His intense
stare keeps threating me
. It
makes me uncomfortable. I wonder how much longer it would be before
Violet or Alex will find us? How long until he picks the
lock?

"I don't think
you have to worry about me." Dash says coolly.

"It's never worked
out that way."

"Why not?"

"Bad things
happen."

"Like?"

I want to hide. My eyes are welling up; I'm
trying to hold back before tears make their claim on my cheek.

"Gabriel, it's okay.
I'm not like other people. Nothing bad is going to happen. We're
still friends, right?"

I
nod. I'm not convinced Dash wants to
be just friends.

The door
opens
. Violet and Alex stand
dumbfounded at the scene.

"Whoa! What's
going on? Why are you chained to the bed?" Alex picks the keys up
and unlocks Dash. He stops in his tracks before he gets too close
to me. Dash takes the keys from him and walks straight up to me. My
front is on fire. The intensity is too much but Dash must be
repressing himself. How can he do that? It takes every part of my
being to hold myself back with Alex and Violet watching. Dash
stares into my eyes for a brief moment. His breathing is heavy. Is
he doing this because he wants to prove something or my aura did
damage. When the lock clicks open he leaves the room
quickly.

Violet
is still staring with her mouth wide
open. Alex awkwardly frowns, uneasy about what he must be picking
up with telepathy.

"Gabriel?" Violet covers her mouth.

It's
too embarrassed. What does she think
happened here? I rush out of the room instead of answering
her.

D
ash is sitting on the
sofa. His legs move nervously about, while his hands rub his
thighs.

"You are not
okay," I ask.

He
nods without looking at me. "I'm
okay."

He
isn't. What we did in Red's room
proved it's gotten to him. I know all too well what will become of
this. I'm hoping Dash is right, that I have nothing to worry about;
that Hybrids are different. But instead of helping me, the
situation hurt Dash.

"We have to stay away
from each other, okay?"

Dash looks up
bewildered. "What? No!"

His tone surprises me
and it hurts.

Alex and Violet
enter
the room and I exit to
my bedroom. Peeking through the crack of the bedroom door, Violet
sits beside Dash. Alex looks up at me. It's safe away from them
where I can't hurt or embarrass anyone.

***

Dash

"Dash, are you
okay?" Violet asks
.

"Yeah, I'm
fine." She looks to Alex, who only shrugs.

Her
presence slows my heart rate. But
then she puts her arm around me and a similar sensation like
Gabriel's only very subtle. The energy enters me soothing my
nerves. I'm surprised by the sensation. There's nothing about this
in Red's journal's.

She
pulls away. She must remember she
shouldn't touch. What a disappointment.

"What were you
doing?" She composes herself.

I'm
ashamed because both reasons are secrets. I've been reading the
journals. The other reason is I'm fascinated by Gabriel.

"We were..."

You
were trying to fix Gabriel.
Alex's voice interrupts my thought.

"We were trying to fix Gabriel." I lower my
head. I hate to lie to her. I wasn't trying to fix him. I was
trying to help him control his ability. There's nothing to fix.
Gabriel is already perfect.

"What makes you think
you can 'fix' Gabriel?"

He wanted to be
fixed.

"He wanted to
be fixed."
That's
true.

"How did you
think you would do that, Dash?"

I
do
n't wait for Alex this time.
I can't lie to her.

"I thought
maybe, if he
focused enough
he'd be able to keep it inside of him." I was going to mention Red,
but that would reveal my other secret.

Violet looks
very sorry. "Dash you can't fix him. This is who he is."

She's
right about that
.
If Red
can do it Gabriel can.
He
can't be fixed but rather I provide him with encouragement so he
can manipulate his energy. This is what I found in Red's Journals
which I've read without her permission. She won't believe me
anyway.

"Do you understand
me, Dash? There's nothing you can do."

She's so wrong
about that.
She's just saying
this because she's just like him. She thinks there's nothing you
can do. It's not her fault Red hadn't taught her enough about her
ability. She has the pull problem, too—maybe not as strong as
Gabriel and Red. Red did nothing to help her, but in fact neglected
to tell her on purpose. I'll prove it to her. Gabriel just needs
practice.

"Dash?"

"Yeah, I get it."

"I think we
should call it a night," Violet stands.

I
hastily grab I backpack. "Goodnight."
I briefly look up at Gabriel's green eyes peeking through his
bedroom door. "Goodnight, Gabriel."

Gabriel

My fingers run
along the journal spine. It's smooth but wrinkles slightly every
time I open it. The pages fan out revealing I have a few empty
pages to fill. The spine rests flat on the writing desk, opening
loyally to receive my pen.

A row of three identical ink pens are lined
up at the corner of my desk top. A strange habit of keeping things
in rows and stacks helps me feel I'm keeping from destroying the
room’s perfection. I must continue to do this until I can emulate
the person Red think’s I am—a clean, pristine soul that deserves to
be comfortable in such beautiful surroundings. Until I can be like
Red, I’ll keep my practice of coordinating the items in the room to
make up for my flaws.

I
contemplate
carefully what to
write. But I'm distracted by the wood grain on the desk. My hand
rubs down the surface. This used to be a tree but it wasn’t cut
down. This must have been waiting in the forest to be utilized. I
smiles when I think of these stories. They seem true. I can't
imagine Red being as awful as the ones destroying trees like
they're a nuisance.

My desk. My room. I don’t deserve this.

I
can’t believe this lovely space is a
representation of me. Maybe Red doesn’t know me at all. This can’t
be me.

But the
journal—Red knows I
need to
writes everything down. It's one way I can express myself. Josh
used to be an outlet, but with him, I couldn’t tell him everything.
There is no one to talk to about the terrible things I've done.
Writing is a way to let it out without getting close to anyone. Red
knows this or he wouldn’t have left the journal for me to write in.
Even having successes in holding my aura back, I can never really
be close to anyone. Being close includes touching which is
something I can never do.