Grave Secret (25 page)

“I don’t know if you’ll be able to help her now,” Calliope said.

“If your brother thinks he’s tapped into some great secret by exposing my less-than-stellar judgment when it comes to having sex with the wrong men, then he’s sorely mistaken. I was getting into and out of shitloads of trouble before I started having sex with werewolves and vampires.”

“That isn’t the point.”

“It is the point, though, isn’t it? You’re saying Aubrey’s power lies in discovering and exploiting the desires of those he encounters and turning those desires against them, right?”

“Which he did.”

“No. Cal, I went to Holden’s apartment less than a week ago to have sex with him, and even though it didn’t happen, it could have. There was nothing there, no supernatural force motivating me to do it. And maybe I
shouldn’t
have had sex with him, and maybe I let my vagina do all the thinking
yet again
, but Aubrey can’t use this against me.”

“You shouldn’t be so sure.”

“If he tries to claim he’s exposed my greatest weakness by giving me an excuse to have sex, that’s like saying you’ve exposed a coffee lover’s greatest weakness by leading them into a Starbucks. It’s bullshit. With or without Aubrey’s sinister machinations, Holden and I would have eventually had sex. Sure, in retrospect I would have preferred we’d done it in a different time and place, when my other boyfriend wasn’t right outside the door…” a pang of guilt stabbed me in the guts, “…but it is what it is. And if Aubrey thinks that’s going to give him power over me, then—”

I stopped talking because my mouth had been moving faster than my brain, and we got to the conclusion at the same time. If Aubrey thought he was in the power seat because of this, he was about to find out he didn’t know me as well as he thought he did.

“If he thinks it gives him power, then what?” Calliope asked, apparently interested in the look I must have on my face from the moment of epiphany.

“Then maybe it gives me the upper hand.”

“
Ohhhh
,” Brigit said. “The sounds good. Doesn’t that sound good?” The latter question was directed at Calliope.

“It sounds like two foolish girls who have no idea how much trouble the fae can be.”

But she didn’t argue, and she didn’t shoot the idea down immediately.

“Admit it,” I pressed on. “If he thinks he’s already found my weakness, he’ll stop looking for another one. Once you find the fatal flaw in a Shakespearean tragic hero, you don’t go on hoping he’ll have more. Aubrey thinks he’s figured me out.”

“Don’t be so sure he hasn’t.”

“What’s a fatal flaw?” Brigit asked.

“In Shakespeare it’s the fault in a character that leads to their inevitable downfall,” Calliope said before I could answer. “Pride, jealousy…the most basic human emotions, all amplified until they take over the character’s whole life.”

“And what’s Secret’s fatal flaw?” She playfully jabbed me with her elbow. “Lust?”

“No.” Calliope looked down at me, and her face was frighteningly serious. “Secret’s fatal flaw is that the only thing keeping her good is her desire to be human.”

I stared at her, my pulse hammering while I digested the words.

“And last night…she let her humanity slip.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

I woke up absolutely sure I was going to vomit.

As a Tribunal leader, there had to be a way I could start keeping people out of my head. They were my underlings, weren’t they? Since when did underlings get to call the shots? The problem was, the way Holden had explained the connections to me, the more powerful the vampire, the stronger the connection. So, unfortunately, my being a Tribunal leader actually made the mental bonds I shared with Holden and Brigit stronger.

I’d have to ask Sig if there was a way to shut the mind-jacking down. Having weird dreams about my loved ones soaked in blood was bad enough. I didn’t need to have conversations with my condescending fairy godmother about my sex life.

As the whirlpool in my tummy began to settle and I was convinced I wouldn’t throw up immediately upon rising, I sat up. Still topless in real life. Holden was lying next to me in the bed—though how we’d come to be in the bed I couldn’t remember—and he watched me the way Brigit had in my dream.

“Do you always wake up like that?”

I tugged the blanket up to cover my boobs. “I usually fall asleep less naked.”

“No. I meant do you always wake up like you’re coming out of a nightmare?”

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah, that. I’ve seen agitated cephalopod thrash around less than you did waking up.”

“A what now?”

“An angry octopus.”

“Did you just compare me to a fish?”

“Technically, a moll—”

“No
technically
, professor.”

“Sorry.”

I pulled the blanket closer to me, stealing it away from him entirely. This had the unfortunate—or very fortunate, depending on how you looked at it—side effect of exposing his fully naked body to me. Even though he wasn’t in a state of arousal, his body was still incredible. I had to avert my eyes before I lost track of what was going on.

“Why is it you never sound sorry when you apologize to me?”

“Probably because I’m rarely actually sorry.”

My reply was cut short by a snarling outside the door and a confused human-sounding voice. Someone had tried to enter the foyer, and wolf-Desmond was apparently in the process of trying to dismember them.

I jumped off the bed and pulled my pants on without bothering to find my underwear. Likewise I tugged my shirt back on braless. I had a pretty small chest, so I wouldn’t look too floppy if I let the girls free for a minute or two. Once I’d saved some poor fae messenger’s life, then I could worry about undergarments.

I’d put my gun and sword on a small table next to the door when Desmond and Holden had decided to make me wait in here, and I was grateful now to have them within reach. Had they been out in the foyer, I’d have had to vault over an angry werewolf to get at my gun, and frankly that didn’t sound like too much fun first thing after waking up.

I didn’t want to shoot Desmond, but I knew how to wound without killing, and if it came down to it, I’d do what I needed. At least that’s what I told myself as I clicked off the safety and chambered a round. The gun might have been ready to shoot, but I wasn’t so sure I was. I opened the door and slipped into the foyer noiselessly, not announcing my presence until the door shut with a click behind me.

Desmond had backed a thin, tall man into a corner. The fae male was quivering like a leaf, and his fear would only egg the angry werewolf on.

“You’re getting him riled up,” I said. “Try to calm down.”

Desmond’s head whipped around, his typically violet-gray eyes more lupine than human now. I didn’t know how much of him was in there, or if any of the man remained. Once he shifted back he’d be himself again, but I couldn’t count on the inherent goodness of Desmond’s human half to help me out here. I had to treat him like a monster, not my boyfriend.

“E-e-easy for you to say,” the fae replied.

Wolf-Desmond was staring at my gun, which I had pointed at his shoulder. With a real monster I’d have pointed it at his head, but if he made a sudden movement to attack me or the man, and my immediate reaction was to shoot, I didn’t want to kill him just because I’d been trained to.

“What’s your name?” I asked, speaking to the fae but not taking my attention off Desmond. The wolf gave a low, angry growl. I didn’t need my internal wolf to translate for me. The meaning was clear.
This food is mine, back the fuck off.
His ears were folded tight against his head, and he was showing a lot of fang. Considering how much bigger in human form Desmond was than me—standing almost a foot over me—his wolf must have outweighed me by a hundred pounds.

“What’s your name?” I repeated.

“Zuzu,” he managed to spit out. “P-pl-please help me.”

I was skirting the edge of the room now, trying to get closer without Desmond realizing what I was doing. I was also trying to figure out how anyone, in any reality, could name their kid Zuzu.

“I’m going to help you, Zuzu.”

“
Please
.”

“I will, but I can’t just say
here, wolfy wolfy, good doggy,
ya know? He’s not that well trained.”

In response, the wolf snarled at me.

“I thought he was yours.”

“He is.” I glared defiantly at Desmond. “But sometimes he doesn’t recognize my authority.”

The wolf gave a sneer, curling one lip higher to expose more fang.

“Ma’am…”

“You need to try calming down, Zuzu.” I hated to keep saying his name because it was bloody ridiculous, but I needed the guy to keep his attention on me and not the wolf. Maybe using some old-school hostage-negotiating tactics would help.

Unfortunately for me, the hostage taker in this case was a werewolf with no human control, and my only frame of reference for dealing with this kind of situation was repeated viewings of the Kevin Spacey movie
The Negotiator
. I asked myself,
What would Kevin Spacey do?

He’d give a rousing monologue and collect a hundred Oscars.

That didn’t help me much.

“Take a deep breath,” I instructed.

“Oh-o-kay.” His deep breath sounded like forty-five small ones.

“One more time.”

He tried again, and this time managed to take one big breath. Which he held.

“Let it out,” I told him.

He sputtered.

The whole time I kept watching Desmond, and the wolf kept watching me. I didn’t want to shoot him, but I didn’t know how to subdue him. I was supposed to be Queen, but I didn’t have the first fucking clue how to make him yield to my power.

My wolf might know, but could I let her have that kind of control without her stabbing me in the back and running wild with it?

Yes,
came the answer inside my own head.

“Yes I can trust you, or yes you’re going to screw me over?” I muttered.

“What?” Zuzu asked.

“Deep breath, Zoo. Don’t move, and keep breathing.”

You can trust me.

Fat fucking chance.

I can help you.

She was alert now, stirring inside me. Feeling the wolf part of me move like it was its own entity hadn’t stopped being weird for me. I wasn’t sure I could get used to sharing my body with a wild animal, even if she had been there as long as I’d been alive.

Trust me. Trust yourself.

This coming from the bitch who’d run away from the pack to do God knew what in the Louisiana woods.

They weren’t my pack,
she scolded.
He is my pack. He is our mate.

“Fine,” I said. “But don’t shift.”

Fine. Get on the ground, and put the gun down.

I didn’t love the initial instructions, but she was playing nice for now, so I wanted to do my part. If we had to coexist—literally—we might as well learn to work together.

I got to my knees, much to Zuzu’s visible dismay, and put the gun on the floor behind me.

I’ve got this from here.

When I opened my mouth again, the voice that came out was mine, but it wasn’t me speaking. I’d never heard myself sound so rough and forceful. “
Bow before me, lesser creature, for I am your rightful ruler and you will yield to my commands.
”

Desmond’s ears went from flattened to perked up, and he gave a low whine.

I advanced towards him on all fours, and bared my teeth at him, my gaze not dropping, never showing him any signs of weakness. In spite of the fact my human teeth weren’t anywhere near as imposing as his wolf ones, he still looked uneasy.

“
Bow before me
,” the foreign version of my voice said again.

The wolf took a step away from Zuzu, watching the fae before turning back to me. Zuzu, for his part, now seemed more afraid of me than he was the wolf.

I growled, and it was not a sound a human throat should have been able to make. It rumbled in my belly and shook my bones.

Desmond’s legs stretched out before him, and he lay with his belly flat on the ground, covering his muzzle with one paw.

“You will not disrespect my authority again,” I told him.

He whined in reply.

Zuzu looked like he was going to wet himself, and his fear gave my inner wolf a thrill.

“That’s enough for now,” I whispered, more to my wolf than to anyone else in the room. I collected my gun, rearming the safety.

For now,
she thought back.

Chapter Thirty-Four

She let her humanity slip.

Calliope’s words echoed in my head as I led Holden and wolf-Desmond back through the palace, following Zuzu, who walked ahead of us. He’d been sent to bring us before Aubrey, and I think the last thing he’d expected was to be cornered by a werewolf and then witness said werewolf take a browbeating from a possessed woman.