Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens (6 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Schaertl

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BOOK: Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens
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6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (divided in two)

1 cup feta cheese

¼ cup chopped Italian parsley

¼ cup chopped Kalamata olives

1 tablespoon minced garlic

8 romaine lettuce leaves

1
Preheat oven to 350°. Thinly slice off the very top and bottom of the tomatoes (only enough to make a flat surface), and then cut them in half right through the waist. Using a measuring spoon, carefully scoop out the insides—don't scoop too deeply—to make sixteen tomato cups.

2
Lightly pepper the inside of the tomatoes and evenly drizzle with 3 tablespoons of olive oil. In a small bowl, gently combine the feta cheese, parsley, olives, and garlic. Stuff the cheese mixture into the tomato cups. Lightly pepper the top of each cup.

3
Use the remaining 3 tablespoons of olive oil to grease a small sheet tray and arrange the stuffed tomatoes on the oiled surface. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until the cheese begins to brown. Line your platter or serving tray with the romaine spears (you can cut through the middle rib to make them lay flat on your tray), and arrange your stuffed tomatoes over the top. Serve immediately.

Bloody Good Tomatoes

Serves 10

Don't just save these marinated tomatoes for appetizers. This recipe holds up well to pasta and tastes great tossed with squares of toasted day-old bread for a salad. You can also heat it up and pour it over a juicy steak. Try making it a day ahead of serving, so the delicious flavors have a chance to blend.

3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

1 pint red grape tomatoes

1 pint yellow pear tomatoes

1 small red onion, diced

8 garlic cloves, crushed

1 teaspoon crushed red pepper

Sea salt, to taste

Pepper, to taste

Celery sticks, thin cut, about 2 inches long, for garnish

1
Pour balsamic vinegar and Worcestershire sauce into a medium bowl. While whisking vigorously, slowly drizzle in the olive oil, making a light dressing. Add the tomatoes, onion, garlic, and red pepper. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover tightly and allow it to sit in the refrigerator overnight.

2
Bring the bowl out an hour before serving to allow tomatoes to come to room temperature. Arrange shot glasses on your serving tray and fill them ¾ cup of the way up with the marinated tomatoes. Add celery stick to use as a utensil. No forks needed!

Fried Green Tomatoes

Serves 8

Reserve one hand for dipping the tomato slices in the dry ingredients and one hand for the wet ingredients, which will keep one hand free of the messy bread-crumb coating. Putting your sheet tray on the stove next to the pan of oil will save on much-needed counter space when tackling this recipe!

1 cup olive oil blend, (part olive oil and part canola or vegetable oil to increase smoke point)

4 green tomatoes, largest available

Sea salt, to taste

Black pepper, to taste

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons ground cumin

1 tablespoon turmeric

1 tablespoon smoked Spanish paprika, plus more for garnish

1 tablespoon garlic powder

2 cups buttermilk

3 eggs

2 cups panko, Japanese bread crumbs

2 ounces Manchego cheese

1
Put your 12-inch sauté pan on the stove at medium high heat. Add the oil and allow it to heat for at least 8 minutes before testing it. Set a sheet tray lined with paper towels on the two (unlit) burners next to the sauté pan.

2
Slice your tomatoes into ¼-inch disks (you should get about four per tomato) and season each side liberally with salt and pepper.

3
Line up three shallow bowls. In the first one, combine the flour, cumin, turmeric, paprika, and garlic powder and mix them well with a whisk. In the second bowl, whisk together the buttermilk and eggs. Dump the panko bread crumbs in the last bowl.

4
Throw a few crumbs of panko into the oil and if they immediately pop and fry, the oil is ready.

5
Coat four of the tomato slices in the seasoned flour and shake off any excess. Then dip them in the buttermilk mixture and then panko. Gently set the breaded tomatoes into the oil and allow them to fry on one side while you prepare four more tomato slices. Once the bottoms of the first batch of frying tomatoes are golden brown, turn them over to cook on the other side.

6
Line Line a sheet tray with paper towels. When the tomatoes are golden brown all over, remove them from the oil and place them on paper towels to drain. Allow 1 minute for the oil to come back up to temperature and use this time to prepare the rest of the tomatoes for frying. Then fry the next batch, and so on. 7Arrange

7
Arrange the fried green tomatoes on a platter, and then use your vegetable peeler to slice the Manchego over the top. Garnish with a dusting of smoked Spanish paprika, and serve immediately.

Swap It

I like to use a mild Spanish cheese like Manchego in this recipe, but if you prefer a good Parmesan (made from cow's milk) or Pecorino (this one is made from sheep's milk), go with that.

Great Guacamole, Batman!

Serves 10

Many versions of guacamole contain primarily avocado and have a somewhat creamy and chunky texture, but I like making a guacamole and Pico de Gallo combination, which is an avocado and tomato-based recipe.

2 large ripe avocados

½ cup medium-diced red onion

½ cup medium-dice Roma tomato

1 jalapeno, small dice

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 lime, juiced

Sea salt, to taste

Pepper, to taste

Did You Know This Crap?

Avocados are actually a fruit, not a vegetable.

1
Dicing an avocado need not be messy and is actually a very CLK friendly process. Rather than scooping the avocado pulp out onto the cutting board to dice it, each avocado is diced while inside it's skin. Then it pops directly into its bowl with no muss and even less fuss! Cut the avocado in half by running your knife around the pit and then twisting the two halves apart. Gently tap the blade of your knife into the pit, twist, and the pit will pop right out, still attached to your blade. Set your avocado cut side up on your cutting board and, without breaking through the outer skin, slice a grid pattern into the flesh of the avocado. Scoop out the diced avocado using a large spoon and place it in a medium bowl. Repeat with the other avocado.

2
In that same bowl, gently fold in the rest of the ingredients. Try to maintain the shape of the diced avocado. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Lay plastic wrap directly on the spread, cover tightly, and refrigerate until you are ready to use. You should serve this within a few hours or your top layer of avocado will become brown from oxidation.

3
Serve inside a premade tortilla shell bowl along with a variety of (all natural) colorful tortilla corn chips for a vibrant display.

Bloody Mary Bloody Mary
Bloody Mary Relish!

Serves 10

For a chic party treat, spread bite-size celery spears with this relish or fill chilled martini glasses with it, and serve with poached shrimp around the rim for an adults-only version of shrimp cocktail! Any way you present it, it comes together as a one-bowl wonder!

2 Roma tomatoes, small dice

1 celery stalk, small dice

1 garlic clove, minced

2 scallions, thinly sliced

3 tablespoons tomato juice

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

Tabasco sauce, to taste

2 teaspoons jarred horseradish

1 teaspoon vodka

1 lemon, juiced

Sea salt, to taste

Pepper, to taste

Celery, 10 two-inch sticks

1
In a medium bowl, combine the tomato, celery, garlic, and all but 2 tablespoons of scallions. Add the tomato juice, Worcestershire, and Tabasco according to how spicy you like your Bloody Mary. Feel free to make this up to two days in advance, but don't add the ingredients of step 2 until the day it will be served.

2
Stir Stir in the horseradish, vodka, and lemon juice. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover tightly and refrigerate, if you aren't going to serve it immediately.

3
Serve Serve in chilled tumbler glasses with celery sticks, garnished with the remaining scallions.

Above-and-Beyond Spinach and Artichoke Dip with Hawaiian Bread

Serves 15

Everyone has seen a version of this dip served in a loaf of sourdough bread, but my friend Amy Taylor is the one who told me to put my spectacular spinach dip in a loaf of Hawaiian bread. Pure genius. With no serving bowl to clean afterward, your crappy little sink will thank you.

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

16 ounces artichoke hearts, canned

¼ cup minced garlic (about 6 cloves)

1 pound fresh baby spinach

½ cup heavy cream

¼ cup shredded Pecorino cheese

Sea salt, to taste

Pepper, to taste

1 loaf Hawaiian bread, round

1
Preheat oven to 350°. Put your 12-inch sauté pan over medium heat, and allow it to heat for 5 minutes. Add the olive oil to the pan, and again allow it to heat for 5 minutes.

2
Buy quartered artichoke hearts or quarter the whole ones lengthwise. Using your tongs, carefully add them to the hot pan and arrange them to cover the bottom of the pan evenly. Let them cook in the pan without moving them for 8 minutes, to brown them on one side.

3
Add the garlic and spinach, and fold the mixture to wilt the spinach. You may need to add the spinach a small amount at a time. (Once wilted, everything will fit in the sauté pan perfectly.)

4
Add the heavy cream and turn down the heat slightly to allow the cream to reduce and thicken for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in the cheese. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

5
While it is thickening, use your bread knife to carve out the center of the Hawaiian bread, making it into a bowl, and saving the bread cap. Place it on one side of a baking sheet. Cut the bread cap into ½-inch cubes and arrange them on the other side of the baking sheet. When the dip is thick, pour it into the bread bowl, and place the baking sheet in the oven. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until the bread is crisp and the dip is brown over the top.

6
Serve immediately. Carefully place the bowl in the center of a platter, surrounded by the toasted bread cubes. Remember that the gourmet chef gets to eat the bowl. You can, but why not share with your friends, and let them tear up the yummy bowl?

Did You Know This Crap?

Having a sweet taste and light texture, King's Hawaiian Sweet Bread is available at most grocery stores in a round, uncut loaf. If you can't find this bread in your area, try baking your own. You don't need any special equipment, and homemade bread screams gourmet.

Yield:3 round loaves

To make homemade Hawaiian bread follow this easy recipe:

3 eggs

1 cup pineapple juice

1 cup water

¾ cup sugar

½ teaspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon sea salt

4 ounces unsalted butter, melted

6½ cups all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons instant active yeast

1
Beat the eggs, pineapple juice, water, sugar, ginger, vanilla, salt, and melted butter in a large mixing bowl. Add 3 cups of flour to the egg mixture and stir until well mixed. Sprinkle in yeast, 1 tablespoon at a time, mixing well. Gradually add the other 3 cups of flour. The batter will be hard to mix with a spoon.

2
Make You may have to use your hand. sure it's mixed well. Leave the batter in a bowl and cover with the cloth and put it in a warm place. Let it rise 1 hour. Remove the dough from the bowl and knead in ½ cup more flour. Knead about 10 times. Divide the dough into 3 equal parts and place it in well-greased round cake pans. Cover and put it in a warm place and let rise about 1 hour. Bake at 350˚ for 20 to 30 minutes.

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