Gossamurmur (5 page)
rubble in late fall
she took this man of mine and then she took that one
It was a time of
Gos
= goose
+ summer
Swedish
sommer trad
a summer thread
silk goose down
Mädchen Sommer
girls’ summer
Filmy…and took the women too
Alter ego
Bi-locator
Capgras delusion
Clone
Fetch
Ikiryo
Vardøger
struggle for Marriage Equality
and escaped to scope the Tundra
seeing the shape of a monster to come
she studied these things
Poet did this and then she did that
she didn’t really want this or that
but she did it this and that way
anyway for the verbal motion of that and that movement and motion, the participial -
ing
for the sake of being in a verb
Decider wanted blood in cunning
and the possibility of poetic emblem, rune, insignia
a symbol—a device—a ruse—of power to hold a master language together
A world domination, Decider thought
If he could but get the right word or words, he mused, the right combination of vowel of consonant of phones of phoneme of melopoeia
and translate them all into every language in the world…
he would know…he would hold…he would prosper
but she withheld her knowledge
and plotted the rescue of the tapes that would be held hostage
my doppelgänger knows not the magic formula of
look closely,
the undertaker said:
serpent ring entwined upon itself with ruby eyes,
shapely waist, not as dainty as the others
an amber “stone” the Poet had purchased at the Goddess Conference that magnetized wary opponents to her cause
The Capgras delusion theory is a disorder in which a person holds that a friend, spouse, parent, or other close family member has been replaced by an identical-looking impostor
Cases in which patients hold the belief that time has been warped or substituted
have also been reported
It occurs most frequently in females
“
They have taken her place!
”
“
I will lock my bedroom door!
”
Psychologists have hypothesized that patients with Capgras delusion may have mirror images of “prosopagnosia”
The conscious ability to recognize faces is intact
but they might have damage
no emotional arousal
This could result in the experience of recognizing someone while feeling something was “not quite right”
A phantom on my brain
Not quite right
replica, spits image,
facsimile identity
duplicate papers
not quite right
a ghostly counterpart
ghost wife in debt or offered
substitute in old revenge
a double walker
a double goer
left temporoparietal junction
conceptual elaboration kicks in
blue as an iconographic polysemic reading
space =
akasha
shining and clear
keep it that way please
you out there? in my brain?
wanting to be who you are in the right body
marry the one you love
body against a boundary of space
peripheral vision
bi-location
in need to project a body off my own
let
her
take blame
or credit
entwine
not quite right
cryogenized?
devices of Moroccan sky and geometry
women cover themselves in hand of caution of curtain
richly adorned
undulate across public space
Jamaa el Fna
dressed like a hippie
one in wig, bell-bottoms, with instrument case
but down under, raging terrorist
not quite right in the Argana Café time machine
impostor you sing of
secret knowledge in the medina
impostors trick
then leave you,
endarkened prison cell, who gets inside
subterranean bondage
tit for tat
I give you “bullet”
you give me “stash”
I give you numbers
passwords, key codes
identity papers
people die
more people die
you give out
murder in broad daylight
as I pass through Switzerland
dead faces of their youth
in and on the blunt news and media channels
artifact: a fruit vendor setting himself on fire in Tunisia
The Deciders are concerned about damage control
They are concerned about everything as the day comes to a close
Day’s end, they say
“
At day’s end
…”
Deciders of the upper echelon are hidden inside towers
and protected by radioactive shields or hunkered down
in caves like secret cities
Deciders send their signals all over the world
They are themselves all over the world
with passwords like “destiny” and “tintinnabulation”
But the lower echelon workaholic Deciders
spend long hours hallucinating an enemy
of flesh, sinew, bone, of poetry and its portents
They will design their clones to be mortal enemies
They will wear the clothes of the superpowers
Dark uniforms with powder-blue helmets
They will create policy upon policy for pepper spray
“
Just give them some gunpowder,
” they say
They could also put a well-dressed provocateur in the Deciding-Way
In the midst of a situation
“
A situation at day’s end,
” they like to say
“
in
our
Deciding-Way
”
This is quite a feat, creating and visualizing an enemy:
“
A situation at day’s end in our Deciding-Way
”
You have to have a keen imagination
You study hard to know how to do this, creating enemies you will need to destroy
What color should they be
Atom by atom you put the enemy together
Giving your factotum gestures and dark poetic substance
Or maybe he/she/it remains invisible
A game in cyberspace
And then you give him some attitude
and he/she/it takes off
He seems to be a player in the spectacle of life
The upper-echelon Decider observes
“Job well done”
It has become quite clear the enemy will progress with attitude and firepower
You can summon any machine to be activated in the Deciding-Way
At the end of the day they always say it’s what they really mean that dreadful “at the end of the day”
A tombstone, at the end of the day
what use have we of spies and they be hanged for less
look-alikes created
in order to delude someone into believing
that someone
actually absent
is present
(
reset the electronic security device
)
for example, a princess appears as wife of Taladhyaja
you see?
her sandals leave no prints…
she walks above the ground
carefully, slowly in trance
her sari a sheaf of gold
and this story might circulate
how to beware of her
her theme of illusory “double”
might shake confidence in the uniqueness and solidarity of
her waking persona
jolt her awake
peculiar ambiguity of dream
where the dreamer sees herself
simultaneously as subject
and as object
the way the soul in limbo watches its own corpse in the Tibetan text
way I touch you, gossamer,
streaks strands hair filament
splash in raw daylight
dragonfly
signal of gnat-life
and with light
striation
expands explodes
further
to complex variant
double of the dreamer who is both author and character behind the waterfall
and press against outlying reaches,
splash the boundary of allegory
web of gossamer light
to have a scrim of water separate from the space under the cavern and outsider worlds
to melt a line between
observer and observed
the droplets disperse nearby to replicate the same way again
what lives is harvested
double in myths dreams
or illusion between duplicadas
walk this earth
shell of emotion
makes possible witnessing of the dream process
protects the dreamer
from dangers of complete solipsism
of enclosing herself in a world
in which she is the only citizen
the living living
living living living living
the living living dreaming dreaming
dead dead walking living dreaming dead living
the living thread
and in the laboratory grow life
with a glint of DNA
“I am the only one at day’s end,” the Poet might say
dream double combats solipsism
by providing a second person to serve
working her way out of nothing
as a corroborating authority
but that person is another aspect of the dreamer and does not
combat the logic of solipsism
impossible to surmount
her arm an arc of water air earth fire
face-to-face combat
bootstrap logic? pull her up out of the watery mirror
and we have our magic replications
duplications’ reflections
the wise text says:
sorrow will not bring enlightenment
the sage will try scripture
the sage will try illustration
the sage will transform into a new woman
to mouth these words
I went to play my lute for Decider Vishnu
and found him engaged in erotic play
with wife Lakshmi
and when he saw me he had her vanished
I have conquered illusion
but you can’t say this you can’t say I have conquered illusion
no one, not even the gods
may conquer illusion
I beg you Vishnu show me what illusion is
he took me to a beautiful pond and invited me to bathe in it
I entered the pool as Vishnu instructed and became woman
this is illusion,
he said
a master of erotic skills
made love to me night and day
lost all sense of time
drinking wine
rapt in pleasure
twelve years a single moment
I forgot my former body
and life as a sage
eight sons many grandchildren later
I was happy—no—couldn’t name my sorrow
lot of a woman
I bred I bred
estranged not-come-to-joy
reads-many-books
went to know the world as a woman
ask a woman, ask others
women had tenderer thought?
is it not a gentler feeling for the world?
one day an enemy attacked
family all dead I rage wept I fled
lot of a woman they said
weaker weaker woman
Decider Vishnu came to me
why are you so sad?
remember what I said
this is delusion
who are you and whose bodies are these strewn about?
perform the rituals for the dead
you are not what you seem
this is not what it seems
in the allegorical dimension of your struggling text
went to the lake called “Male-Ford”
glanced in, saw a text of light
(
pumtirtha
)
It said:
You had millions of sons who died in
life
after life
millions of husbands and fathers too
for whom you grieve
it is all a mistake and arises in your own mind as a dream
I entered the ford and instantly became a man
with a lute in my hand
I remembered I was a transformer in the Patriarchy
I sang:
as a woman I experience the misery of worldly existence
as a man I create more suffering
om ah ah
experience in the illusory world is a nightmare from which one wishes to escape
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