Goody Two Shoes (Invertary Book 2) (8 page)

“She’d be great in event planning too,” Millicent agreed.

Josh headed to the counter for some much-needed coffee.

“Back off, people,” he told them. “The ice queen is mine.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

“Explain to me again why we have to do this,” Josh grumbled the following afternoon as they headed towards the Presbyterian church.

Caroline sigh was long-suffering. “If we want Reverend Morrison to perform the ceremony, then we need to do what he requires.” She stopped suddenly, making him pull up short against her. “And he requires that he counsels us and that we get to know each other. We should be thankful that’s all he wants—the man wouldn’t have been out of order if he’d demanded we get a psychiatric evaluation.”

“I keep telling you, Caroline. I’m as sane as you are.”

“Right now, that isn’t much of a comparison, is it?”

Josh reached out and snatched her hand, holding tight in case she pulled away. Slowly, he caressed the soft, fleshy part of her palm with his thumb. “I can think of better ways to spend our time.” He waited for the pink dots to appear on her cheeks, and smiled when he saw them. “Come on.” He stepped towards her. “Let’s blow this off.”

She stared up at him. For a second he thought he saw desire flash in her eyes. He smiled knowingly. She snatched her hand away and curled it around the handle of her oversized brown leather bag.

“We’re in public.” Her tone was a reprimand.

“Alert the media. Josh McInnes was seen holding hands with his fiancée on an Invertary street.”

She blew out an exasperated breath. “We’re going to be late. Get a move on. I hate being late.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

Her haughty look made him want to do wicked things to her body. The more superior Caroline behaved, the more he wanted to make her pant. And after yesterday’s kiss, Josh couldn’t wait to get his hands on her again. He’d pin her down and tease her until she made those little whimpering noises that drove him out of his mind.

“There’s the minister.” Caroline distracted him from his plans.

“Good, you’re here.” The guy was the double of Ed Asner. “I thought you’d chicken out and run.”

“You know better than that,” Caroline told him.

“Not you.” The minister pointed a knobbly finger at Josh. “Him.”

“You know you look exactly like that editor in
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
, right?” They stared at him blankly. “Cultural differences. I get it. Lead on,
Ed
, we’re eager to get started.

“And get it over with,” he mumbled.

They traipsed through the old stone church and into a small room lined with dog-eared books. There was a circle of mismatched wooden chairs placed on the faded purple carpet. The vicar sat on the only chair with a cushion. Caroline and Josh sat side by side opposite him, on chairs that creaked when they moved.

“So…” Reverend Morrison studied them. “You two want to get married. Tell me, Josh McInnes, famous singer and American playboy, what’s in it for you?”

“I resent the playboy label. I only ran around when I was a kid.”

The minister smiled like he knew better.

Josh resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “What’s in it for me? A great wife. A family. What else is there?”

The minister grunted. “Do you two know anything about each other?”

“We know the basics.” Caroline glanced at Josh for confirmation. “Josh had his friend investigate me, and I looked him up in the library database.”

“I’m sure that was very informative. Next you’ll be telling me you did one of those personality tests they have in women’s magazines.” He glared at them for a moment, and Josh felt like he was back in kindergarten. “You two don’t know each other at all. It’s time to rectify that. Tell me, where do you plan to live after the wedding?”

“LA,” Josh said at the same time as Caroline said, “Here.”

“See what I mean?” The minister took his glasses off the end of his nose and polished them.

Caroline frowned as she folded her hands in her lap. Her back got even straighter. Josh saw a flicker of determination in her eyes that worried him.

“How many kids do you want?” The vicar perched his glasses back on his nose.

“Four,” Josh said as Caroline said, “Two.”

“This is more fun than I thought it would be.” Reverend Morrison chuckled. “Okay, try this one. Will Caroline keep her job after the marriage?”

“I don’t think so,” Josh said as Caroline said, “Of course.”

She turned towards him. “What do you mean you don’t think so?”

Josh knew enough about women to recognise an open can of worms when he saw it. He tried to come up with the most diplomatic answer.

“It might be a bit far to commute when we’re living in LA.”

“I don’t want to live in LA. We have a nice castle here. I don’t see why we can’t stay here.”

“My work is mainly in the States.” He used his most conciliatory tone.

The minister sat back, stretched his legs out in front of him and folded his arms. He looked like he was enjoying the show.

“And my work is here,” Caroline told Josh.

“Yes, but…” Josh had the good sense to stop talking.

Caroline’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, but what? Your job is more important than mine?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You were thinking it, weren’t you?”

He couldn’t argue with that.

“Why?” Caroline looked like she wanted to smack him. “Because you earn more money that I do?”

“This isn’t about money.” He ran a hand over his head. This was not going well at all. “We can look into making Invertary our main base. But we’ll have to be gone some of the time. I have work in the US; I have family there. And I spend a huge chunk of my time touring.”

“Do you expect me to go with you? How am I supposed to keep my job when I’m bouncing in and out of the country all the time?”

“I’d hoped you’d want to go with me.” He covered her clasped hands with one of his. She didn’t pull away from him, and he almost cheered in victory. “We can work this out. It’s only geography.” He took a deep breath. “But if you stay working at the community centre, you need to know that it won’t be the same as it is now. Photographers will have access to you. Reporters will turn up to talk to you. Your life will make international news.”

She rolled her eyes, and her shoulders relaxed slightly. “That’s your ego talking. You aren’t Prince William. No one cares what your wife does.”

“Someone will. Someone always does.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’m not saying this to make you do what I want. I’m just telling you how it is.”

“I’m not sure I like how it is.”

“We made a deal, baby. No backing out now.”

She glowered. “Don’t call me baby.”

Feisty. He loved it. Josh resisted the urge to kiss her then and there.

“Great.” Reverend Morrison clapped his hands. “I don’t know about you two, but I’ve had enough. I’ll see you both next week. In the meantime, I have homework for you to do.” He walked to one of the bookcases and came away with two red folders. “Fill these in and bring them next time.” He looked straight at Josh. “No homework, no wedding.”

“There are other places we can get married.” Josh seriously wanted another minister to marry them. This one was a pain in his ass.

The vicar cocked his head towards Caroline.

“I want to get married here,” she said.

Josh sighed in defeat. “Fine. Then I guess we’re going back to your place to do homework,
baby
.”

“We can’t.” Caroline’s smug smile was priceless. “I have a meeting to attend.”

If she thought it would be that easy to avoid him, she had another think coming. “That’s okay. I’ll come with you and we’ll do the homework after it.”

Caroline’s mouth opened and shut. No sound came out. It was Josh’s turn to smile smugly.

“Josh isn’t here,” Mitch said as he hugged Helen. “He’s going to be pleased you came early.”

“I’ll bet.” Helen knew her son. The last thing he’d want right now would be his parents. As far as she could tell, only three people ever questioned his common sense. And one of them had failed. She gave the failure her “you’re in trouble now” look. He swallowed loud enough to be heard. “What’s going on with this wedding? Why haven’t you stopped Josh?”

Mitch turned away quickly. He led them through a building site to a kitchen large enough to have swallowed her first apartment.

“Mitch?” Helen pressed. It was like they were teenagers. Always covering for each other.

“Josh will be home soon. You can ask him all about it. How was your flight?”

She put her hands on her hips. “You helped him do this, didn’t you?” He grimaced, and she knew she was right. “What the heck have you two been cooking up?”

Behind her she felt the air shift as Andrew brought the gargantuan chip on his shoulder into the room. He hadn’t said a word to her since telling her off about flirting. Not one word.

She ignored her husband. “Mitch, tell me everything.”

“Fine. Josh wanted an arranged marriage. So I arranged one for him.”

Andrew let out one of the creative curses he’d learned as a boy in the Glasgow shipyards.

“An arranged marriage?” Helen could hardly believe her ears.

“Yeah.” Mitch cringed. Evidently it made as much sense to him as it did to her. “He wants what you guys have. Long-term commitment. Friendship. He thought romance would get in the way.”

Helen shrugged out of her cardigan. “He wants what we have?” She glanced at Andrew. “If he doesn’t watch himself, he’ll get exactly what we have.” Her husband’s face was unreadable. Helen took a deep breath. “Show me to my room,” she told Mitch. “I’ll deal with Josh and his arranged marriage in the morning. Right now all I want to do is grab some dinner, shower and crawl into bed.”

Mitch breathed a sigh of relief and practically ran up the stairwell. Andrew grabbed the suitcases and followed. On the second floor, Mitch pushed open a door to a light and airy room.

“This is the only guest room that’s made up right now. I hope it’s okay.”

Helen almost sighed with delight. There was a vast brass bed made up with crisp white linen. A small blue and cream sofa in the curved window—not much bigger than an armchair, but perfect for reading. An antique dresser and wardrobe completed the furniture.

“Perfect.”

“Great.” Mitch backed away. “I’ve got work to do. Josh will be back soon.” And then he was gone. Running from further interrogation. Some things never changed.

Without thinking, Helen turned to Andrew and smiled in delight.

“Can you believe it? We’re sleeping in an honest-to-goodness castle.”

His face was inscrutable. But stupidly, Helen kept smiling at him, hoping for something in return.

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” he said at last.

And just like that, her perfect moment shattered.

The meeting Josh had invited himself to was beyond boring. It was the most mind-numbing meeting in the history of the universe. Fifteen people droning on about how to finance a new roof for the church. Hell, for the first half-hour one guy lectured everyone else on why a roof was necessary. Josh could have knocked that discussion on the head in three seconds—we need a roof to keep the rain out. Seriously? Why was that hard? The guy loved the sound of his own voice. How Caroline sat through this crap without killing someone, he didn’t know. Josh noticed the pain-in-the-ass preacher wasn’t at the meeting, and his opinion of him rose infinitely. Anyone with any sense would run from this committee. No woman was worth enduring this agony. He eyed Caroline as she took notes for the group. Fine. One woman was worth it. Josh turned his eyes towards the community centre ceiling and begged God to make it end.

At last, talking stopped and people left. Caroline came over to where Josh was dozing on one of the blue room’s old armchairs.

“I told you, you didn’t want to be here.”

He opened one eye. “You didn’t tell me I’d want to kill myself while I was here. Seriously. I was one step away from finding that book on poisons you keep going on about, and putting myself and everyone else out of our misery. Baby, this is hell.”

Caroline rolled her pretty green eyes. “A slight exaggeration, Josh McInnes. But I will concede that this committee is one of the more trying ones I sit on.”

“Hell, Caroline, how many of these things are you on?”

She tugged at her grey suit jacket. “A few.”

When she didn’t look him in the eye, he guessed it was more than a few. He had a horrible feeling Caroline was in the thick of it with every damn committee in Invertary.

It took an embarrassingly long time to get out of the chair. The cushions had sucked him in. It was as though it was trying to eat him. Speaking of food, Josh’s stomach rumbled. “Can we leave now? I’m starving to death.”

“Yes. I can see that.”

“Are you saying I’m fat?” Josh tugged up his T-shirt and examined his abs. Okay, so they weren’t as tight as they’d been at the end of his last tour, but he was on his downtime, damn it.