Good Together (26 page)

“Maybe we all would have been happier living with the Sheenans than here.” As soon as the words were out, Mattie was shocked she’d spoken them.

“Come on, Mat. Dad wasn’t that bad. Sure he was kind of gruff. But he never hurt us. Never.”

Was that all it took to be a good father in Callan’s opinion? Never beating your children? What about love? Providing guidance and support? Even just the occasional kind word would have been appreciated. But no sense starting that argument with Callan. She was convinced their father had a soft center. How else could she continue to live and work with him every day?

“I can’t say I blame Mom for having an affair,” Dani said softly. “But even though dad was a tough bird, I’m still kind of surprised. Maybe I’ve been keeping her on too high a pedestal.”

“She was a great mother,” Mattie said. “She deserves to be on that pedestal.” She felt utterly tired suddenly. It had been a long day. And this conversation was almost more than she could handle. More than anything she wished their mother was still alive. That she was here, sitting with them. Mattie felt sure that she would be able to explain, to her adult daughters, why she’d been unfaithful to their father.

“Anyway, I just thought all of us should know the truth,” Sage said. “Because eventually, when Dad dies, we’re going to have access to her diaries. And I’m pretty sure she wrote quite a bit about Bill Sheenan in them.”

“Why? Have you read them?” Callan wanted to know.

“As if. You know Dad keeps them under lock and key in his bedroom. This fall cousin Eliza asked if she could see Mom’s diaries for the Bramble history book she’s writing. I asked Dad if he’d give her access and he said a very firm no.”

“That doesn’t prove he knew about the affair,” Dani countered. “Maybe he was just being cantankerous.”

“Who? Dad?” Mattie asked, in a mock surprised tone.

They all laughed then, even Callan.

Sage got up to refill everyone’s wine glasses, and Dani and Callan went to the kitchen for seconds on the casserole. Mattie rinsed her food down the sink, hoping no one had noticed how little she’d eaten. But she’d no sooner placed her plate in the dishwasher, than she felt Sage’s hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Mattie. You must miss the girls.”

Mattie nodded. “I’m kind of tired. The drive and everything.” She avoided looking at her sister, afraid that if she saw sympathy, she’d start to bawl. “Sorry to jam out on you guys, but I’m going to bed.”

“Sure. We understand.”

The fact that no one gave her a hard time about going to bed so early told Mattie that she must be looking as rough on the outside, as she felt in her heart. She hadn’t been lying about feeling exhausted, but once she was in bed, sleep seemed far away.

Again she thought of Nat.

Why was he always on her mind these days? Was she falling in love with him? Or just taking advantage of his kindness and dependability to help her through this tough time in her life? He’d always been the kind of neighbor—and friend—she could call if she had a problem. Like the time a black bear had found her way into one of the barns. Wes had been at a rodeo and Jake was gone for the day. She and the girls had been alone. And so she’d called Nat.

He could have sent one of his hired men. But he had come, himself, and he’d managed to lure that bear out of the barn, then scare it off the property and back into the hills. Over the years there were so many times he’d come to her aid, that she could never remember them all. Wes had always been slightly annoyed when Nat stepped in like that.

Once he’d even said to Mattie that he thought Nat was in love with her. She’d scoffed at the idea, then reassured her husband that he was the only man she needed.

Back then, that had been true. Only recently had she started dreaming about Nat in a sexual way.

That
was new.

But what did it mean? And was Nat feeling the same way about her?

* * *

T
he visit with Dad turned out to be equal parts good and weird. Fortunately Suzanne was the quiet type. She didn’t try to bond with them, or act like she was a member of the family. She was pretty quiet actually. If anything, Portia thought she seemed a little sad.

Dad didn’t seem all that happy, either, though he put on an act. He’d bought her and Wren T-shirts with stupid sayings that made them both laugh. And he also gave them a check, to help with the extras at college.

Though Portia was dying to know what her father’s plans were, it was Wren who put the questions to him, talking calmly and rationally, like one adult to another.

“So, Dad, are you planning to live in Billings now?”

“Yeah. I like working at the lumberyard. It’s a good, steady job. Suzanne and I are going to buy a house once—once the money stuff is settled with your mom.”

“And are you going to keep rodeoing?”

“No. Getting too old for that.

Their Dad looked at Suzanne as he spoke. Her face was suddenly pale, her lips pinched. Mom had told them that Suzanne had been married to Dad’s bull-riding friend, the one who’d been killed last spring in the rodeo arena. Portia could tell that was what Suzanne was thinking about. And as much as she was inclined to dislike the woman, Portia couldn’t help feeling just a little bit sorry for her.

“Were you there when your husband had his accident?” she asked.

She could tell her Dad was annoyed, and Wren surprised, that she was being so blunt. But Suzanne answered as if she was relieved to talk about it.

“Yes. I had a bad feeling that morning, when I heard he’d drawn Black Cyclone. He’d had trouble on that bull before.”

“Most all of us had,” her father agreed. “That was one mean animal.”

“I begged Dex to give it a pass. But he was stubborn. I wasn’t in the stands. I was too nervous. I watched on one of the screen monitors and when I saw him go down, I covered my eyes. When I heard the crowd go silent, I knew Dex had been badly hurt.”

That was the most Suzanne had spoken since they’d met her. Dad put a hand around her shoulders and she leaned into him, accepting his comfort. But Portia could tell by the dull sheen of her eyes, that she was still thinking back to the day her husband had died.

“I’m sorry,” Portia said. She knew what it felt like to watch someone you love get on the back of a wild bull. Even when she was younger, before she’d fully appreciated how dangerous her Dad’s job was, she’d been nervous watching him compete. Her stomach twisted now, just remembering.

“This is a grim topic,” Dad said. “You girls should be telling me about college. All the stuff you’re learning and the friends you’re making.”

Portia hesitated. Theoretically she should have lots to talk to her father about. But they hadn’t spoken for so long, she didn’t know where to start. Even Wren seemed nonplussed by the request.

Then she had an idea. “There’s a guy in a lot of my classes who says he met you, Dad, and even shook your hand. At a rodeo this summer, I think it was in Great Falls.”

“Does this guy have a name?” her father sounded amused.

“Austin something-or-other,” Portia mumbled.

Her dad straightened. “Would that be Austin Bradshaw?”

“That. Sounds. Right.” Portia was on her phone, checking to see if an Austin Bradshaw was on Facebook. Sure enough, the guy had a profile. And his photo showed him on the back of a bucking bull. Oh my God. He’d called himself a cowboy, and she’d scoffed. But he was the genuine thing.

“The kid shows a lot of talent. And courage. I think it was his first time lasting eight seconds in a PRCA sanctioned event. He was so excited.” Wes smiled, shook his head, then looked at Portia again. “So, you two are just friends, right?”

Portia groaned. “Dad.”

But inside, she felt a warm glow. Maybe because, for a second there, her dad had finally sounded like himself again.

Or maybe it was because of Austin...

N
o sooner had Mattie returned home after Christmas, than a storm set in, leaving her house-bound for three days. Fortunately she’d stocked up on groceries at the tail end of her drive home from Marietta. So she had plenty of food, tea... and tissues. Not that she needed the tissues so much these days. She figured she was pretty much cried-out now.

The question remained, what to do with her life now? Since Wes had left there had been no new deposits to their joint checking account. Her expenses were few, but she would soon run out of cash.

She needed to make a living, somehow. But all she was qualified to do was train and take care of horses. It was maddening to have an empty stable at her disposal, plenty of hay and feed—but no horses.

She missed the girls so much. Would she ever get used to this empty house? Every day she gave thanks for Tuff, who gave her a reason to get up in the morning, to go outside for walks... and someone to cuddle in the evening when she was watching TV or reading.

When the snow finally let up, one of Nat’s hired men came by with the plow to clear out her lane and yard for her. She went out to thank him, squinting against the bright sun hanging just above the hills to the south. “Would you like some coffee? I have some fresh muffins, too, if you’re hungry.”

“I’m fine, Ma’am.” He looked to be in his early twenties, dark blonde hair, his face covered with a light stubble, that had red glints in the sunshine.

“Well, thank you very much.” She looked around at the work he’d done, snow mounded well out of the way, making it possible for her to access the main road with her SUV and walk around the yard with ease.

“No problem, Ma’am. Nat says hi.” And then he was off, driving his tractor along the freshly cleared lane, turning right on the main road, headed back to the Double D.

Over the next few days Mattie kept expecting to hear from Nat. That he would call, or drop in—but he didn’t. Several times she happened to be outside playing with Tuff when he rode past the farm in his big truck. He always slowed, smiled and waved, but never stopped.

She felt confused by this. And distressed.

Obviously she’d assumed there was more to their friendship than Nat intended.

But that didn’t stop her from thinking of him. Dreaming of him...

Mid-January Mattie finally had a meeting with a divorce attorney. She used the one Nat had recommended, Jemma Humphries, a family lawyer in Missoula.

She felt awkward dressed in a skirt and blouse, sitting in the office boardroom, coolly discussing the end of her marriage with a virtual stranger. Jemma Humphries was about Mattie’s height, pretty, plump, and very well groomed. She had lovely gel nails and Mattie couldn’t help but notice how well her hands set off her thick wedding band with the large diamond perched above.

The meeting was torture. But at least she left with the information she needed to start building her new life.

Montana was a no-fault divorce state, as well as an equitable distribution state. Jemma figured that since the farm had been in Wes’s name when they were married, that she would share in any appreciation in value that had occurred during the twenty years of their marriage.

That was a relief.

She wouldn’t leave the marriage with nothing.

Back at home, Mattie fought the urge to call Nat and discuss what had happened with the lawyer. Instead, she called Sage, who listened sympathetically, then urged her to stop waiting to see when Wes was going to sell the farm, and just get on with her life.

“You said the barn is just sitting there?”

“Yes.”

“Then why not start boarding horses again? Make sure the commitment runs month-to-month so if Wes does find a buyer, you won’t be stuck.”

It was such a great idea—Mattie wondered why she hadn’t thought of it first. Getting the word out didn’t take long. A few phone calls, a notice at her church and at Murphy’s Feed Store, and she soon had eight horses delivered to her care.

Early February a ninth horse was delivered by parents of one of Portia’s friends. Ray and Becky Turnball had a beautiful Tennessee Walker they’d bought from Bishop Stables ten years ago.

“We’re selling our acreage and moving to a condo on the lake in Big Arm,” Becky explained, while her husband Ray unloaded the beautiful sorrel mare. “Ray’s tired of the upkeep, and I don’t need a big garden anymore now that the children are all grown up.”

Becky and Ray had had four children. Their youngest, who was the same age as Portia and Wren, was now working in Missoula. The rest had settled around Polson. One had married a man whose family owned a cherry orchard on the east side of the lake, and the other two were in law enforcement, working for the Sheriff’s office.

As she and Becky chatted, Mattie realized how much her previous social life had revolved around the twins’ activities and friends. Attending school sporting events, sharing car pools and volunteering at the school had ended for her now that the girls were in college.

It was time she developed her own interests. Her own activities.

So when Becky mentioned a new book club that she’d started that fall, Mattie was quick to show interest, and soon she had an invitation to the next meeting. Once Clementine had been made comfortable in her new paddock, Mattie invited Becky and Ray in for coffee.

The visit was good for her, and as she watched them drive off an hour later, Mattie promised herself she was going to accept every invitation that came her way for the next while. She’d become too isolated living out in the country on her own with only a dog for company.

When Ryan Garry called two weeks later wondering if she’d have dinner with him, however, she hesitated.

“To be honest Ryan, last time we saw one another, I’d had too much to drink. Something I don’t usually do. I’m kind of embarrassed about it now.” What she didn’t add, was that she’d found his own behavior a little intense that evening, as well. Though maybe it wasn’t fair to judge him, when her own actions may have been leading him on.

“You’re not the only one, Mattie. I would have called you sooner, but I was embarrassed as well. I probably came on a little too strong that night. How about this time we meet for just dinner—and hold the dancing and drinking? Frankly, I would really enjoy a meal with some adult conversation. The kids have been driving me crazy, lately.”