Good Sensations (26 page)

He smiles and agrees. “Okay, but know the matter is already settled in my mind.”

The next few weeks are crazy with packing up everything, selling the stuff we won’t need, and making final arrangements in Hawaii with school, the wedding, and the move.

My mom comes to visit one weekend to help me look for my wedding dress. Even though it’s a nice break from packing, I’m still concerned about the cost and my parents have offered to buy the dress for me. Three stores into our shopping excursion, I find it—the dress and it’s beyond perfect.

My mom sits when she sees me then bursts into tears. Through sobs she confirms this is the one, which makes me start to cry. I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s been an emotional day I guess and the realities of me actually getting married and moving away is starting to affect us both.

As she’s paying for the dress, she brushes my hair over my shoulder, and says, “You’ve become a beautiful woman, inside and out, Mallory. Dad and I are proud of the person you are and all that you’ve accomplished.” She smiles, soft and kind, the one I always see her wearing when I picture her. “Go into your marriage with an open mind and a forgiving and loving heart. There is nothing the two of you can’t work through as long as you stay a team.” I feel a tear forming and my eyes get glassy. She wipes my cheek as it cascades down my face. “You’re going to have a wonderful life, honey. Cherish every moment.”

“Thank you, mom.” I hug her.

She whispers, “And this dress is going to knock Evan’s socks off and just might kill your father. So let’s keep it a secret until the ceremony.” Her smile turns devious and I laugh, which eases the worry of my upcoming departure from my family.

The matter of the pre-nup is never brought up again, even though I overhear a heated conversation when I come home early after visiting Sarah one afternoon. Evan is pacing in the guest bedroom, his tone terse when I hear several: no’s, never, and unacceptable. He finds me reading a magazine in the living room when he walks out. He doesn’t say anything, but seems pleased.

I visit my parents one last time before we leave just wanting to spend time with them. We hang out, go to the grocery store, and do completely uneventful stuff, but I love every minute of it. My dad rearranges his schedule, so he can spend the day with us too. I’ll see them in less than a month for the wedding, but that visit will be different and we all know it.

When I return to the apartment after the weekend, Evan’s made a lot of progress on the packing. Win for me, I silently cheer. On our final day there, we make sure to christen every room as ours—making love and fucking everywhere. I can’t get enough of him, the feeling of him against me, on me, inside of me. I love it all. Though the wedding is the legal part of our union, our souls are already married, bonded by something greater, bonded together forever.

On the plane, Evan grabs the backpack from the overhead compartment and then my hand with his other. As we hurry off and through the airport, we make it to the baggage claim area in record time. I’m huffing behind him as we approach a man who’s holding a sign that reads “The Future Mr. and Mrs. Ashford.”

I giggle as we approach. “Did you do this?”

Evan looks at me and smiles. “You like?”

“I love,” I answer, feeling light and happy.

The man places a lei around each of our necks, and says, “Welcome to paradise.”

It was suggested we stay apart the night before the wedding so we get proper sleep. I’m not sleeping at all without him, so I use the back stairs and go to Evan. I tap lightly on the door, but he doesn’t answer. It’s not that late, so I doubt he’s sleeping. I try the knob and it’s locked. Walking around to the back door, I round the corner and see him sitting on the step, staring out into the ocean.

“Hey there, want some company?”

The moon reflects in his eyes, when he sees me. “I’d love some.”

Quietly I settle in next to me and look into the far distance. “The moon is huge tonight.”

“It’s a thinking moon,” he says. I bring my knees to chest and listen as he continues. “I used to paddle out on nights like this and just sit on my board. You’d be amazed how quiet it is out there, the rest of the world left back on land with your worries.”

His foot nudges mine. “I haven’t done that in a year. Strange how you fall out of old habits when you fall into new ones.”

“Was I a new habit?” I lean my head on his shoulder.

With a soft chuckle, he replies, “You were habit forming, that’s for sure.” He kisses the top of my head. “So what brings you here? I thought you were supposed to be able to rest better when I’m not around.”

“I rest much better with you around.”

“Me too.”

I stand, taking his hand and pull him up. “Can we go to bed?”

“Yeah, big day tomorrow and all.”

“Yep, big day.” He doesn’t know, but I have no intention of getting real sleep, which is how I ended up with my head hanging off the end of the bed and the room thick with sexual tension as we make love. Correction, we start off making love, but our desires and impatience win out. I start to slip off with each thrust until Evan stops. He pulls me back by the hips until my body is supported again and realigns himself. “You okay,” he asks, his tone soft while his body remains hard.

“I’m more than okay,” I reply, rubbing his neck and encouraging him to continue. When he’s inside of me, my head goes back, my mouth drops open, and I gasp from the pleasure.

My body moves of its own volition and I watch my earthbound Hawaiian God. There’s just something about watching his body, the muscles moving together for my gratification and his. All his arrogance is captured and put to use in his seductive ways. He’s sex personified and lust come to life. He makes me feel things I never have and crave things I’m not sure I should. He makes me want him in all ways and punctuates every encounter by sending me into a cliff-diving pool of ecstasy. “Evan!”

A loud knock on the door startles us. Our bodies still and we look at each other, both silently hoping whoever it is goes away. When another knock sounds, Evan says, “For fuck’s sake.” He climbs out of bed and slips on a pair of boxers before he answers the door. “What?”

I can’t see her, but I hear Kate embarrassed. “Soooo,.. Ummm, This is really awkward with you know Mallory yelling your name out like that, making it obvious what you guys are doing in there, but her mom sent me down to find her. She’s worried about her.”

Evan looks back at me over his shoulder and releases a heavy sigh. His words aren’t hurried and disappointment is written all over his face. “Guess I’ll get a rain-check?”

While Kate waits outside, I slip out of bed and start gathering my clothes. “I’m sorry. I should go see her. I don’t want her worried.” I finish getting dressed and lift up and kiss him. I whisper, “I definitely owe you a rain-check.”

After a kiss goodbye, he says, “See you at the altar. I’ll be the one with the goofy looking grin.”

With a smile and a small wave over my shoulder, I walk out the door, and say, “There’s nothing goofy about you or your grins. Trust me on that.” When I see Kate, I stop and look back. “Oh, and I’ll be the one in the white dress just in case you forget what I look like overnight.”

“You’re unforgettable. You can trust me on that.”

“C’mon, Mal,” Kate says, taking me by the arm and pulling me toward the main house. “You’re lovey dovey-ness is just so… um, sooo—”

“Romantic?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say romantic. I was leaning toward stomach turning.”

I hit her on the arm. “You don’t mean that. I’ve heard how you and Murphy talk to each other. You’re not a stranger to the love-dovey stuff.”

I see a small smile and point. “See! Right there. I knew it.”

“Whatever,” she says, nudging me. “It’s still my brother you’re doing that with and you should be glad it was me who heard that sex-screaming and not your mother.” I wait, knowing she’ll come around. She stops at the backdoor and turns to me. “Fine. You two are adorable and I’m glad you turned my brother into a romantic. Are you happy now?”

“Yep. I am.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m a bride. I get to be ridiculous.”

She laughs. “True.”

Kate and I walk inside the main house and she says, “And about what I heard right before I knocked on the door, we shall never speak of that again.”

“Okay,” I reply, laughing.

Working my way back upstairs, I tiptoe down the hall to the bedroom again. I find my mom sitting in my room. She looks up when I enter, and says, “Getting fresh air?” I can tell by her expression she knows exactly where I was.

“Something like that.”

She stands and hugs me. “I’m going to bed. Your dad is already asleep. I just wanted to check on you. How are you doing?”

“I’m good. Really good.”

“I can tell you’re good. Really good.” She mimics me with a little laugh. When I release her, she asks, “And how is Evan?”

“He’s good. Really good.” I laugh this time.

“Good to hear everyone is good tonight.” She heads to the door. “And you should probably take a shower before you come down for breakfast.”

And I’m mortified now.

“Thanks.”

“Goodnight, dear daughter.”

“Goodnight, dear Mom.”

Everything appears perfect…
to the outside world
, but it doesn’t feel perfect on the inside. I should have listened to my instinct more, put my foot down, and been stronger. I wanted Claire to like me… and that meant giving into her demands. Now she likes me, but I’m caught in the middle of a wedding that feels so upscale New York and not me at all.

I should have said something when she begged for more guests, or she told me she ordered the favors without asking for my opinion, or even when a sample bouquet showed up in Colorado, Claire insisting all the fashionable brides were carrying peonies this season, even though my wedding is in Hawaii. But I didn’t want to burst the cloud nine bubble she’s been floating on the last couple of months. I really only have myself to blame for not speaking up sooner. What’s done is done and I’ll walk down that aisle with a smile on my face. But I would anyway since Evan’s waiting at the other end.

Sunny’s been keeping tabs on the guys all morning, but I have no fears about being left at the altar. She relays a message from Zach that Evan’s in a great mood. Kate stands at the window watching the guests arrive. My mom is on the other side of the room pinning a flower into Sunny’s hair, and I’m sitting at the vanity waiting for the ceremony to begin.

“I’m really nervous,” I say quietly, not feeling in control of my voice. Clasping my hands in my lap, I look down to avoid the mirror in front of me. My dress is beautiful. Spaghetti straps hold up the lace top, a deep dip in the lace leads to a full skirt that falls naturally instead of being held out by an uncomfortable hoop skirt underneath. The dress is sexy and pretty. I chose it with Evan in mind. My mom said it was very ‘us’ and fitting for a beach wedding. The earrings Claire gave me are on and stunning. So all the pieces are in place for a great day, and as much as I want to suck it up, something still feels off.

“
Awww
, there’s nothing to be nervous about, honey,” my mom says, glancing over at me as she holds the flower in place waiting for Sunny’s approval.

“I think this whole day is dreamy,” Sunny says, seemingly lost in her own dreams of a fantasy wedding.

Kate turns from her spot by the window and walks up behind me. Placing both hands on my shoulders, our eyes meet in the mirror. She says, “My brother is the luckiest man in the world. I’ve never seen him so happy and in love.” Leaning down, she presses her cheek against mine, her eyes still searching mine in the reflection. “Don’t be nervous. He’ll be there waiting to hold your hand.”

“Thanks, Kate.”

A knock at the door draws our attention. I stand, needing to pull myself out of this weird wedding day funk I’ve fallen into. My mom answers, “Come in.”

“Honey,” my dad starts saying, but stops in his tracks when he sees me. He looks down quickly to collect himself before he moves closer. “You look like a princess, like in the fairytales you used to act out when you were little.”