Good & Dead #1 (2 page)

“Can I have your attention, please?” Charlotte yelled over the din of noise in the dressing room.  Nobody noticed her.  She blew her attack whistle instead with better results.

“Okay.” She tucked the whistle back into her pocket and climbed onto a chair so everyone could see her.  “I know you all want to hear the review, but, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, the internet is out again.  Sarah is in the office getting it back up.  Before the verdict is in, I just wanted to thank everybody for their hard work on this project.  It’s been a long semester!”

There was a chorus of agreement from the room.

“No matter what the critic says, I think it went very well- thanks largely to Michael!”  Everyone clapped and cheered.  Michael felt his cheeks go hot.

“Yes, thank you, Michael!” said Tom, with a drink in his hand.  “Too much pot in high school, I guess….”  Most everybody laughed at that.

“Anyway,” Charlotte said, tucking her straight blonde hair behind her ears, “Thank you for your hard work, and when the grades come in I think it’s an A project!” She gestured to a table of snacks and drinks in the back of the room.  “Enjoy the party!” 

She hopped off the chair and disappeared, head and shoulders below the crowd.

Everything Charlotte did made Michael feel like even more of a lanky, awkward nerd than he was.  She was President of Alpha Psi Omega.  Michael organized tournaments for his local Magic: The Gathering group back home.  She knew every song ever written for Broadway. Michael knew all the words to “White and Nerdy.”

“You’re staring at her again,” said Randy from behind him.

“I am not,” said Michael, as he stared at her.

“Right,” Randy snickered “Ug!” he shook the handheld game he always had with him.

“Level three?” Michael asked.

“You’re such a nerd.  How did you know that?”

“Because you can never get past the door at the third tower.  Plus level three is the only level with the apple bombs,” Michael replied, turning his gaze to Randy.  Almost as pale as Michael, Randy was a good deal heavier, and a foot shorter.  His hair was a sandy sort of color instead of brown, but their appearances both said “nerd” loud and clear.

“But you didn’t even look at the game!” Randy protested.

“The apple bombs are the only ones that make that ‘bloop-bloop-bing’ sound when they explode your face,” Michael said calmly.  “You’re a bigger nerd than me.”

“Clearly.  How do you get past the tower, then?”

“If I do it for you, you won’t learn.”

“C’mon,” Randy held the game out to Michael, “Be a friend.”

Michael took the game, “Why is it sticky?”

“Oh, I had a donut,” he said vaguely, gesturing to the table of goodies provided for the cast party.

“Wow.”

The entire group jumped as Sarah burst into the room.  “It’s up!” she announced excitedly.  She held her smartphone out for them all to see.

Everyone rushed to meet Sarah except for Michael, who was struggling with the game, and Charlotte, who wrung her hands as she watched everyone crowd the doorway.  Suddenly they were alone.  Michael looked at her blankly for several seconds, the handheld game singing ‘game over’ tauntingly.  She smiled briefly and joined the others.  Michael hung his head and followed.

“I still want to know how you got a review for a student production!” Sarah demanded, “Especially on opening night!”

“A magician never reveals her secrets!” Tom offered from the front of the queue. 

“Thank you, Tom.”  Charlotte’s hands shook as she took the phone from Sara.  “I can’t!” She held it out to Tom.  He cleared his throat dramatically.

“Hands down, the star of Destin University’s For Evermore is the deliciously unsettling beginning.  A dedicated and skillful cast of characters bring Poe’s words to life in true nightmarish fashion,” Tom read with a smile.

There was a breakout of applause, but the more seasoned actors leaned in, expecting the more nitpicking bits that always followed a good word.

“Newcomer and junior Michael Wallace forced our undivided attention to the story with his dramatic entrance into the scene.”

There were more cheers.  Randy punched him in the arm. 

“An excellent set and a believable lead performance from senior Tom Hambright make Charlotte Birdwell’s debut as a director a smashing success, and a delightful (but spooky) surprise for a student production.”

“If you’re in the mood for a late night scare, get thee evil eyes to the 23
rd
street theatre, where For Evermore will play late throughout the week.  Call for dates.  Box Office opens at 11.  Curtain at midnight,” He finished with a flourish and a bow.

Charlotte beamed with pride.  Michael smiled, too. 
I helped
.

“Alright, now you’re just a creeper,” Randy said under his breath.

“Shut up.” Michael blushed.

Everyone dispersed into lively conversation, and Michael bumped awkwardly from one group to the next before making his way to the snack table.  He selected a slice of Hawaiian pizza and a filled a plastic cup with coke, and retreated to a table in the corner.  Randy’s voice carried over the crowd, and Michael smiled as he told the story of their fourth grade production of
Cinderella
, during which Michael puked on the fairy godmother’s dress.

“You’ve come a long way!” Randy hollered over at him.

Michael’s mouth was full of pizza, so he gave him a thumbs-up so sarcastic it may as well have been a middle finger.  Full of free food, Michael was the first to reach for his coat.

“Are you leaving already?” Charlotte asked.

Michael had not seen her standing there.  “Uh…yes,” he replied, one arm already in his jacket. 
I sound like a cyborg whenever I talk to her. 
“I have a paper to write.  It’s due….last Wednesday.”

“Oh, okay,” she laughed. “Are you sure?  This was your first stage experience, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.” Michael gestured to Randy. “Except for Cinderella.”

“That doesn’t count.” Charlotte waved his remark away. “You were a kid.  As an adult,” she said, “half the fun of acting is the opening night party.  Well, when the show is good, anyway.  Plus this is your night, in a way.  You saved the show.”  Even though she barely came up to Michael’s shoulder, her effect on him was beyond intimidating.  He stuck his other arm in his jacket and turned down the collar.

Michael laughed.  It was a really painfully weird laugh. 
Now I sound like a donkey cat.  I’m a donkey cat cyborg.

“I don’t know about that,” he choked out. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You did very well,” she said, beaming at him encouragingly. “I think there are some bigger roles in your future.”

“Oh, dear, I hope not,” he said, wondering how long it had been since he had last used the phrase ‘oh dear’. “I don’t think I’m cut out for acting.”  He reached for his cup and took a nervous sip.

“What?  You’re a natural,” said Charlotte, “I thought you did great, especially for a stage virgin.”

Michael choked on his drink, coke dribbling down his chin.  Behind her, Randy shook his head in horror.  Michael glared at him and wiped his chin with his sleeve.  “I thought
you
did really well.  Wasn’t this your first time directing?”

“It was,” she replied, “and I thought I would hate it, but it was a lot of fun.”

“I think my head would explode if I tried to keep track of everything that went into it tonight,” Michael said.  He was finding it very hard to stay focused on what she was saying.  He thought he was looking at her too much again, but this was the longest conversation they’d ever had and he didn’t know where else to look. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” she said. “Just this guy,” she said, pulling Tom over by the arm, “making my life miserable.”

“I made it a night to remember!” Tom said boldly. Then, mock-afraid, he added, “I’ll do better next time.  I promise.”

“You better,” she said as Tom wandered away through the crowd.

“Hey, lady!” Randy said in a voice that was brazenly loud even for him, brandishing his empty cup at them.  “This party is fun!  I haven’t even thought about my midterms once!”

“You okay, Randy?” Michael asked.

“I got to tell YOU a secret!” Randy yelled, turning to Michael and leaning in, “Man, I was standing right there listening to you two talk, and…”

“Randy, that’s not a whisper—“ Michael began, but Randy cut him off.

“And!  It was so funny.  You…” he paused to look into his empty cup, “You lost your stage virginity, and she lost her directing virginity.  It was SO HARD not to come over here and be like: Hey!  You both lost your vinginerty on the same night!  That’s a hard word.  Virgnininty.”

“Wouldn’t that have been funny?” he asked, turning to Charlotte.

“Yes,” Charlotte said calmly, accepting Randy’s friendly embrace.  “It would have been very…funny” Charlotte half held him up and reached into his jacket pocket at the same time, taking his keys.

“Cutest pickpocket ever!” Randy yelled.  Several people nearby turned to look at them.

“Thank you,” Charlotte said, the corners of her mouth twitching up in annoyance.  “This was meant to be an alcohol-free evening, Randy,” she said, putting Randy’s keys in the pocket of her green cardigan.

“Really, man,” Randy said to Michael, “I can’t blame you.”

“Randy, What are you doing?” Michael asked sternly. 

Randy laughed.  “You are so….you know what you are?  You’re a chicken!  Man!”  Without warning Randy turned and kissed Charlotte full on the mouth.

Before Michael knew what was happening he was grabbing his best friend by the back of the collar and dragging him by his armpits across the room.  “Are you okay?” he asked Charlotte as he backed away.

Charlotte wiped Randy slobber off her face.  “I’m fine,” she said, clearly lying.  The other girls swarmed in to console her.  They glared at Michael and at Randy, who was laughing stupidly, still gripping his red cup. 

Michael tried to get out of there as quickly as he could, but Randy was quite heavy, and he kept grabbing chairs and dragging them along.  “Stop it, you jerk!” Michael yelled, trying to keep his grip on his fat friend.  Everyone was staring at them.

Randy didn’t stop laughing until the back door of the theater slammed shut behind them.  Michael deposited him on the curb and walked toward the street to hail a cab.

“What is your problem?” Michael asked angrily.

“Why didn’t you punch me?” Randy asked from the curb.

“What?  Why would I—“ Michael began. “You’ve got to be kidding me.  You’re not drunk are you?”

“Of course not,” Randy said, getting on his feet, “You were supposed to punch me!”

“You’re crazy!” Michael sputtered, walking back toward the building. “That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“You could have been the hero, man.” Randy walked past Michael to the street and caught the attention of a passing cab. “But instead you’re out here with me.  I’d say you’re the crazy one.”

“I can’t believe you’re mad because I didn’t punch you!” Michael yelled, meeting Randy at the curb.

Randy paused before closing the cab door in Michael’s face.  “Goodnight, nerd.”

Michael turned back toward the tiny parking lot, fuming. 

He is out of his mind,
Michael thought, kicking a soda can into the narrow alley next to the theatre.  After a couple minutes he realized he was going to have to go back inside to get his bag.  Resigning himself to ridicule, he walked to the door, took a deep breath, and went inside. 

Everyone looked at him when he came in.  Michael felt his face grow hot.  He was sure even his ears were turning red.  He spotted his bag on a chair on the far end of the room and made a beeline for it.  He was almost back to the door, jacket on and bag over his shoulder, when Charlotte spotted him.

“Michael!” she called, making her way toward him through the party.

Can I pretend I didn’t hear her?
  Michael seriously considered running for the door—it was certainly what he wanted to do
—
but she was already closing in.

“Michael!  Why are you—” she began.

“I’m sorry,” Michael said. “I didn’t—”

“Why are you sorry?” she asked. “What did you do wrong?”

Michael stared at her.  His face was completely blank.  He had no idea what to say.  Finally, he smiled at himself.  “I don’t know,” he said, laughing nervously.

Charlotte smiled.  “You look so embarrassed!  I came over here to thank you.  What did you think I was going to do?”

“Yell at me,” he said almost inaudibly. 

Charlotte laughed out loud.  Several people turned to look at them.  “You’re a good guy, Michael.”  She started to blush, and then she gave him a hug.  “Thank you,” she said, stepping back before Michael realized he should probably hug her back.

“Good luck with your paper,” she said as she returned to her friends.