Good Christian Bitches (21 page)

T
he next morning, Elizabeth got up first, put on coffee, and made a really big breakfast for everyone. Sarah and Will were out the door to school a little earlier than usual and as soon as they were gone, Elizabeth stopped to have a word with Amanda.

“I just wanted to tell you how incredibly proud I am of you,” she said with all sincerity.

Amanda laughed. “What’s that about, Mom? Are you feeling okay? I thought Will was the one hit in the head yesterday, not you.” She smiled.

“No, I’m serious, I really am. The way you handled all of that yesterday—from the office to Will ending up in the hospital to your visit to the Bible study class—which I’m still dying to hear more about it, by the way, but I know it went well or I’d have heard otherwise—I was just really proud of how well you handled yourself. With poise and grace and never even once hesitating as if to say, ‘I wish there was a man in this picture to take care of all of this for me and make this all go away.’ ”

“Well, thanks, Mom. You know, I hadn’t thought about it, but now that you mention it, I didn’t think about it. I just did it,” she reflected.

“I don’t think I was the only one impressed. I noticed Tom seemed quite content to just sit back and watch you handle it all so well,” Elizabeth said.

By now she had gathered her things and was heading toward the door to go to her house.

“What I appreciated was that no macho beast raised its head and tried to act like there needed to be a man in charge to take over. He seemed perfectly fine with letting me take care of my family myself.”

“I know, but it sure is nice to know he’s gentleman enough to jump in there had you asked for his help.” Elizabeth leaned over and gave Amanda a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, I bet he would’ve been there for me, but fortunately it was easy to handle and I want Tom to know I’m not looking for someone to rescue me,” Amanda declared.

“I think he’s probably already figured that out,” Elizabeth said, and was out the door.

By 9:30, Amanda had already stopped at Starbucks, had the usual “old home week,” which is unavoidable at that Starbucks, and was at the office. She immediately got on the phone and decided it was time to call Nancy McRae and take her up on her offer to let her know if there’s anything, anything at all she can do. The greatest thing about Nancy was she was still the most authentic person she had ever met and was
not
the type to offer something she didn’t fully intend to back up. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure that Nancy had included charity work in that offer and it had just been limited to family stuff. Amanda was about to find out.

She took a couple of deep breaths and said a little prayer out loud. As Nancy’s phone was ringing, all Amanda could hear was herself saying, “Please, God. Please, God. Please, God,” and about the time she had said the third, “Please, God,” Nancy answered.

“Hey, Amanda! I’m so glad you called! I was beginning to think you had decided you didn’t like me anymore,” she said, and Amanda busted out laughing.

“No, of course not, I’ve just been ridiculously busy, but when you hear why I’m calling, you might be convinced I don’t like you anymore.”

“Oh, no,” Nancy teased. “What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“Well, yes, no, and maybe. Nancy, you know how hard it is for me to ask for help and you know I never ask unless I’m desperate and also because people who know me, know that I don’t ask unless I’m desperate and that if they tell me no, I get my nose out of joint?” Amanda finally took a breath.

Nancy sat there for a minute and finally said, “Oh, yeah, we were both working on that at one time, but I see you’ve not had any success with improving that part of your personality, either, so go ahead. What do you want me to do that I’m not going to want to do but am going to go ahead and do anyway because I love you and I know you wouldn’t ask me if you weren’t desperate?”

“I’m desperate for your help with getting a thank-you party pulled together in a very, very limited amount of time and I need your help with
everything
, Nancy. Every area, every category, every possible way you can imagine. I’m not asking you to chair underwriting, I’m asking you to
be
underwriting with me. I’m not asking you to chair the silent or live auction, I’m asking you to
be
the live and silent auctions with me, I’m not asking you to chair reservations—”

“Okay, okay, okay, Amanda.” She was laughing hysterically by now. “I get it. I’m there. I’m sorry I was out of town when you called for volunteers a few days ago, but I’m here now and ready to help in any way. Where do I need to be and when?” Nancy asked, and Amanda was relieved she could hear her smiling as she spoke.

“At the Longhorn Ball office as soon as you can get here,” she cringed as she answered.

“Let me make a few calls like you just made to me, first, and I’ll be there right away, okay?” Nancy already had written down several names on a scratch pad before she’d finished the sentence.

“Nancy, I have to tell you, I just can’t thank—”

“Save it, Amanda. Let’s skip the sappy stuff, it’s as hard for you to say as it is for me to hear and thank God we’re the kind of friends where all that’s not necessary. I’ll see you in a bit.” Nancy was serious and Amanda knew it.

“OK, thanks so much, Nance, and I’ll see you when you get here.” Amanda hung up and immediately started jumping up and down, screaming.

By the end of the day, Nancy had come to the office with three other girls who had older children and were stay-at-home moms—“a chairman’s answer to prayer,” as this meant they at least had from nine or ten to at least three o’clock every day to help. Amanda remembered two of the girls from high school. She didn’t know them well, they were more Nancy’s friends, but she’d always liked them. They just didn’t have any classes together or didn’t live near one another in the neighborhood. One was Mary Voss and the other was Kathleen Duffy. They were both gorgeous blond bombshells, and if it were possible, Amanda was sure they were even more beautiful now than they had been in high school. The third was someone new to the neighborhood since Amanda lived there, but a good friend of the other three girls. Her name was Dallas Kelly, and she was a stunning brunette. The best part about all four women was that they were just as smart and sweet as they were gorgeous. They were all the call to arms type of friends, and the other great thing about them was that if Amanda was Nancy’s friend and she needed them, they were there. Amanda wondered why she’d been so close to Sharon in high school instead of befriending this group.

They spent the next couple of weeks working twelve hours a day, which was possible because these girls had great husbands who adored their wives and who were happy to take over the minute the nanny left every day. There would be breaks here and there to run carpools, but everyone understood what a tight time frame they were on and everybody rallied to help them be as productive and successful as they could possibly be each day. People were calling the office and offering their time and talent every time they turned around, and Tom kept his office crew and his cronies really busy as well. The first weekend, the girls worked straight through and the husbands took the children’s weekend schedules or bribed the nannies to work through the weekend. Tom had business to tend to in Austin that weekend but promised to get some Ball business done while he was there. Amanda was grateful, as she knew she’d be too busy to see him that weekend anyway, so it all worked out for the best.

Since Nancy had been a cochair in charge of outdoor production just three years ago, she handled finding the place. The location, Amanda was thrilled to learn, would be Southfork, which for years now had been the most logical choice. As the original family home of TV’s fictional Ewings of the series
Dallas
, it was a tourist attraction with all the proper facilities needed for a grand outdoor event. It also happened to have one particularly appealing characteristic: The location was exactly thirty-five minutes from the heart of Hillside Park.

Dallas’s husband knew some of the biggest sponsors, so she was in charge of the silent auction. It wouldn’t be the size of a regular year’s auction, but Amanda knew she could still raise a decent amount of money, and she was pleasantly shocked by the community’s generosity.

When it came time to do table reservations and placement of the really big donors, Nancy, Mary, Kathleen, and Dallas proved to be invaluable. Amanda had been away for so long, and Elizabeth’s older crowd didn’t really do the Longhorn Ball like they did the first twenty-five years it was on the social calendar. Table reservations were always the biggest pain because, unfortunately, on the night of the Ball, you found out who had a gracious heart and who had an ego the size of Texas. Thank God these girls knew whom to seat where, whom not to seat together, and whom not to seat in front or behind someone or you’d never hear the end of it. Those women were worth more than their weight in gold in this department.

Of course, these girls made an event of shopping for their ensembles. They spent the day with a car and driver, chauffeuring them from one promising source to another. They were such fun and not the types to mislead one another. There was not one among them who wouldn’t encourage another to look her absolute, very best. They took turns trying on one amazing outfit after another. They were very free with opinions and wouldn’t hesitate to gladly hand over something that someone seemed to adore or suggest that something one tried might look better on another. All the girls were joining in gathering accessories and jewelry to add that special touch. The outing was full of laughter and joy and by the time they called it a day, they were all deliriously happy with what they had all helped choose for one another. It was an exceptional day and they all would have fond memories of their time together.

Once outfits had been selected, the worker bees from Tom’s office were kind enough to do the set-up work in the auction tents and the girls had a spa day together, Tom’s treat.

Amanda had the driver drop off all the other girls before he took her home and Tom was waiting for her at her house when she arrived.

“Well, how was it? Is everyone all cowgirled up and ready to go?” Tom had a big smile and watched as Amanda led the driver up to the front door, loaded down like a pack mule with packages, garment bags, shopping bags, and even a hatbox.

“Tom, you wouldn’t have believed it! We had the most amazing day!” Amanda was talking a mile a minute, and Tom could see she really meant it.

“Looks like things are working out pretty well,” he said, smiling. “I think I know a few people who are going to have fun at the Ball, no matter what happens.”

T
he night of the Ball, Amanda, Nancy, Mary, Kathleen, and Dallas all got adjoining hotel suites at the only non-motel near Southfork, a gift from Nancy’s sweet husband. They had someone come out and do their hair and makeup—another gift from Mary’s and Dallas’s husbands, and each suite was full of flowers and champagne, a gift from Kathleen’s husband.

Tom had his driver pick the girls up and drive them to the ranch in a limousine stocked with lots of champagne, Patron (if they really needed it to take the edge off), and several non-alcoholic beers for Amanda to feel like a “big girl” that night.

They entered the VIP room and the air kisses were flying all over the place. It was a beautiful night—not too hot, not too humid, and there was a genuine excitement in the air, as well as a disbelief that these women had managed to pull this makeup Ball together in four short weeks. It was amazing.

Tom had a special surprise for entertainment at the live auction stage that he claimed would rival the surprise on the main stage. Elizabeth was going to bring Will and Sarah out for just a little while, so they could get the full effect of what Mom had been so absorbed with lately. They couldn’t stay long—there was a steadfast rule about no one under twenty-one being allowed at the Ball—but of course, Tom had friends on the local police force. He had promised to take personal responsibility for Will and Sarah, so they were going to be allowed to stay for a couple of hours. As the VIP party got in full swing, the girls were all toasting their success and promising one another they’d never do this again, all at the same time.

All of a sudden, it was time to kick off the set that would eventually lead to the live auction. Amanda could hear the band start, but with the density of the crowd it was impossible to see, but who needed to—when you heard the words “Whiskey River, take my mind,” they all knew exactly what Tom had been doing in Austin last weekend. He’d been securing none other than Willie Nelson for the live auction entertainment. Willie had played the Longhorn Ball many times before, but never on the live auction stage. Willie was an icon years before the very first Longhorn Ball, so him playing the smaller stage was a real coup!

Willie was smiling and waving at Tom and giving him a thumbs-up, nodding at Amanda. She threw her arms around Tom’s neck and was fighting back tears of joy—she couldn’t believe the lengths he’d gone to in order to guarantee her success tonight and she was moved beyond words. She stopped and gazed up at him, looking very dapper in his cowboy cool ensemble, and said, “Tom, I just don’t even know how to begin to thank you, not just for the things you did for tonight, but for the unwavering support you’ve shown me since we ran into each other again.”

Tom laughed. “Well, whatever you do, sweetheart, don’t start thanking me yet!! That’s just the first of many, many surprises you have before tonight is over, so you just relax and enjoy yourself—that’s what tonight is about for me. Watching
you
have more fun than you’ve had in as long as you can remember—that’s when I’ll know I’ve had a good time.”

Amanda couldn’t believe it. He really was almost too good to be true. Suddenly she felt a huge pang of regret. How could she ever have believed those unfounded rumors? And to think, she’d been so unbelievably wounded to think people had done the same to her? She would have liked to think her heart was as big as Tom’s, though her gestures might not be as grand. But Tom Harrington was without question the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful, amazing man she had ever met and he’d gotten a bum rap, obviously. Why was it so hard to believe the same thing could happen to her?

She was shaken out of her daydream by yet another person coming up to congratulate her on everything being so perfect. Every time someone had, she had immediately directed them to Nancy and the girls, explaining that they were the ones who really deserved all the credit. At one point, she turned around and they’d all disappeared with their husbands. An hour later, they reappeared and they all headed to the live auction stage together as Willie started his very last rendition of “Whiskey River.” The girls were going to make the obligatory announcements, thank-yous, etc., and start the live auction.

A local celebrity news anchor, Meredith Land, who was a beautiful, bubbly, yet no-nonsense newswoman, was going to emcee and all the girls introduced her together. The live auction started with a trip on Dallas’s plane to their fabulous home on Red Mountain in Aspen, Colorado. The trip was for eight people for five days and they had thrown in their personal chef for the stay. The auctioneer started the bidding at ten thousand dollars and it sold for twenty thousand in no time. You would never know the economy had been so lousy over the last few years. People had been incredibly generous—to donate, to buy—it was almost surreal.

In the midst of this fun and excitement, suddenly Nancy elbowed Amanda and said, “Take a look over there.”

Amanda followed her gesture toward the ladies’ bathroom. “What am I looking at?” she asked.

“A pretty pitiful sight, if you ask me,” Nancy said as she took another sip of her margarita.

“I’m still not sure I see what I’m supposed to be looking at.” Amanda was serious. There were people everywhere, so she really couldn’t figure out what Nancy was pointing out to her.

“On the hay bale—sitting down to the right of the exit door to the restrooms?” Nancy gestured again.

This time, Amanda saw exactly what Nancy was talking about, but she really couldn’t believe her eyes. There on the hay bale, totally isolated from everyone else at the party, sat none other than Heather Sappington and Sharon Peavy. They were a pitiful sight. It wasn’t even ten o’clock yet and they both looked so drunk, the kind of drunk where you’re
so
drunk your facial features are distorted because they look like they’ve fallen. They were back to back, as if they were literally holding each other up. They were both wearing very un-fabulous outfits in general, and looked absolutely miserable. Heather was wearing something that she must have purchased at a resale shop. It was a turquoise suede dress but had an uneven coloring, as if the suede had been dry-cleaned too many times and not by a dry cleaner that specializes in cleaning leather and suede. It was ill-fitting as well and obvious they’d just gotten close to her size. She looked like a stuffed sausage, and even the seams looked like they might give. When your outfit is turquoise, are you really supposed to wear that much turquoise jewelry with it? And it was that awful greenish tint that really clashed with her outfit.

Sharon had on a beautiful white blouse but it didn’t close exactly right at the bust. The buttons pulled and, as they say, there were boobs everywhere. Amanda had to do a double take because yes, she had seen what she thought she saw: a denim prairie skirt. Her skirt was so long, it literally dragged the ground and she’d probably given up and sat down to get a break from other people stepping on her hem all night. Even though “Rhinestone Cowboy” had been last year’s theme, it looked like Sharon had purchased and worn every faux diamond in the city.

They were a ghastly sight.

Amanda watched for a few minutes and as different people would walk by—either a girl headed to the ladies’ room or a couple walking in that direction—Sharon, Heather, or both would almost perk up for a moment and speak. No one stopped and very few even really spoke, just gave a halfhearted wave and moved on. The girls would then deflate back to their original position.

Even as awful as those two had been to her, Amanda was a better hostess than to sit there and watch someone have such a miserable time. It took a few minutes, but Amanda finally made her way over to where Sharon and Heather were sitting.

“Hi, girls! How are you?” Amanda yelled out as she approached them.

They immediately perked up. “Oh, hey, Amanda!! We’re great! Good job—this is really phenomenal what you’ve done. We were just sitting here talking about how we wished you’d asked us to help you,” Heather said in the sweet Sunday school tone that only she could muster in a situation like this.

Sharon, of course, flipped her head around like it was on a swivel and looked at Heather with an absolute glare her drunkenness couldn’t disguise and said, “What in the hell are you talking about, Heather? We were not.”

To which Heather gave her a swift, very obvious kick to the shin with her cowboy boot and said between clenched teeth, “
Yes,
we were, Sharon.”

Amanda decided she should probably break this up before it got even uglier. “Oh, girls, that’s so sweet of you. I thought you’d probably had enough after last year and didn’t want to put you on the spot. Since last year was technically just last month, I figured you were still recovering, I’m sorry. You know you could’ve called me and offered and I’d have gladly set you to work.”

They looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Amanda couldn’t decide who they were more disgusted with, her or themselves.

“Where is Darlene? I haven’t seen her all night,” Amanda said.

This was the first time either one of them seemed a bit pleased since Amanda first spotted them.

They both looked at each other with big, goofy grins, then just busted out laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?” Amanda asked.

“Oh, let’s not go there,” Heather ordered.

“Oh, why not?” Sharon wondered. “She’d not hesitate a minute if it were one of us.”

Heather gave her a dirty look, then almost fell off the hay bale as she turned away from her, having to put her hands out and steady herself on the ground before she could raise back up.

Sharon gave a shrug and said, “Well, it seems her husband was always going to be out of town tonight, but she had a surprise phone call from his current affair. You know, the kind where they finally get impatient and call the wife? Only it turns out the other woman was another man this time.”

“Oh, no. I hate that for her. I can’t imagine . . .” Amanda’s voice trailed off.

All of a sudden, Heather started to get a little aggressive.

“Oh, do you, really? Sweet little Amanda, do you
really
just
hate
that for her?”

Amanda was totally caught off guard, but quickly recovered. “Well, of course I do, Heather. You’re her dear friend, don’t you feel for her, too?”

“I’ll tell you what I think,” Heather started, but was interrupted by the auctioneer calling Amanda’s name.

Everyone around started saying, “Amanda, he’s trying to get your attention!! Amanda, look up at the stage.” It seemed everyone around her was telling her to look in that direction and like they’d been trying to get her attention for a minute or two.

Amanda looked up, bright red in the face. She put her hand over her mouth and was laughing when she saw Nancy, Dallas, Mary, Kathleen, and Tom all walking toward her.

They all walked up and hugged her, Tom put his arm around her, and she could hear Sharon say very loudly, “Oh, I think I’m going to be sick,” then she heard Heather say, “Shut up, Sharon.”

Amanda was really confused now. She looked at Tom and Nancy and said, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear what was going on! Did you need me?”

Nancy looked at Tom and grinned really big. “Well, Amanda, we had to stop the auction because we didn’t want you to miss this.”

“Miss what?” Amanda said. “What item are we on?”

“The one we told Tom you’ve been coveting since it came into the office last week,” she said. All four girls smiled and nodded, as if they were finally letting Amanda in on a big secret.

“Oh, no, you didn’t. I’m so embarrassed.” Amanda wanted to die.

“Don’t be. We wouldn’t tell him the first hundred times he asked because we knew you wouldn’t want us to, but the man is persistent.” Nancy gave Tom the nod as she spoke.

The next auction item was a magnificent, one-of-a-kind platinum and diamond cross donated by Mary’s dear friend of many, many years, Jude Steele of the Jude Frances Jewelry Company. It was enormous and the design was incredible. The cross had about five carats of diamonds, total, and half-carat diamonds were set every few inches in the chain. It was a fabulous piece, and Amanda adored it. The auctioneer started the bidding at ten thousand dollars and there was a frenzy of bidding. Amanda stuck her fingers in her ears and playfully shook her head back and forth at Tom and Nancy.

Amanda turned her back to the crowd and looked up just in time to see what she thought was fire coming out of Heather’s eyes. Sharon gave her an equally disgusted look. When she heard “
Sold
” and everyone started clapping, Nancy, Mary, Dallas, and Kathleen all came over and gave her a group hug, very pleased that they’d managed to surprise her.

She gave Tom a big hug and kiss and as she pulled away from him, caught the backsides of both Heather and Sharon stomping away.

“Oh, Tom, I think Sharon’s upset.” Amanda felt genuinely bad for her.

“Amanda, look. One of my favorite things about you is that you care about how other people feel, but one thing you have to realize, or I guess Sharon has to realize, is that I still wouldn’t be interested in her if you were still happily married, living in Newport.”

“I know, Tom, I guess it’s just easier for her to blame me than believe that, so let her. I just can’t worry about it.”

“No, you can’t and neither can I, for that matter. Now, I told you there were lots of surprises tonight, so let’s go to the main stage. The live auction only has a few more items, and we want to beat the stampede.”

Tom took her hand and they walked past the other people watching the rest of the auction and headed for their table in front of the main stage. As they sat at their front-row table, they waited for the live auction to end and the main stage act to begin, which at this point was still a mystery.

They looked up and saw the girls and their husbands heading toward the table. It was a constant stream of conversation about how “so-and-so can’t believe we pulled this off, they said we couldn’t do it and we did,” or “so-and-so says this is the best Longhorn Ball ever and it’s not even a Longhorn Ball, technically,” and “I’ve had a million people tell me tonight these are the best auction items we’ve ever had.”