Going Within (9 page)

Since the Higher Self, the soul, is our personalized reflection of the Divine spark, when we feel love from the heart we are feeling love from our centralized God space. Of course, the Higher Self, the soul, does not inhabit—it
permeates:
it is thought, energy, feeling. It is spirit, and its natural element is ethereal—“of the ethers.”

The universal energy of which the Higher Self is a part has always existed, so when the conscious mind “peruses” itself, as it were, it will inevitably touch the soul’s experience, which in turn stimulates the memory we have of ourselves, since we, too, are fundamentally eternal spiritual beings. Therefore, self-realization is God-realization. Knowing more of your Higher Self really means knowing more of God. That inner knowledge is radiant with life, light, and love.

Society was transformed by the work of Dr. Sigmund Freud when he explored the possibility of interpreting the subconscious mind. At the end of his life Freud began to question whether there was indeed something beyond even the subconscious mind. He began to explore whether we might have what we now call a superconscious mind, and stated that if he had it all to do over again he would have been a parapsychologist. Freud wondered if this superconscious mind in each of us was attuned to the universal consciousness and if, somehow, it resonated with the
harmony of the roles we are all enacting in the Divine Comedy.

When I go within I look for communication and guidance just as in life I sometimes look for advice from good friends. I like to ask questions, check my perceptions as to my opinions, my progress, and in general have a friendly exchange with someone or something which I perceive to be more advanced than “I” perceive myself.

Each of us has personalized our perceptions of whatever we consider reality to be. Each of us has personalized our perception of God and whatever lies within us. In fact, our conception of the reality of this “Kingdom within” can be overwhelming, abstract, and noncommunicative unless we personalize it.

So when we go within and come into alignment with our spiritual power, we come into connection with that spark of Divinity that I have mentioned before, which I call the Higher Self. Some call it the Divine Oversoul, the Divine Center, the God within, the personal interface with God … whatever one calls it, it is the personalization of the God Source within us.

When I first made contact with my Higher Self I was aware that I could, from then on, better touch my purpose on Earth and have it fit in with everyone else’s. More than that, I became profoundly aware that
everyone
has an important purpose on Earth. I realized more fully than ever that each person alive
is having an in-the-body experience of his own for his own reasons, and each person is as important as the other, and each of us is more important than we seem to ourselves.

In fact, I became aware on many levels that we are each an aspect of the great universal intelligence, each playing a profoundly important role in the puzzle of life. Therefore, to recognize everyone equally was part of the secret to putting together my own puzzle a little bit more.

Somehow, I felt on some level that I was important in the scheme of things, and that every single soul was that important, but it was difficult for me to assess myself in such a lofty manner. In fact, I couldn’t even say the words which revealed that I myself felt I was tied to a God Source. I felt arrogant, conceited, and undeserving if I said, “I am connected to God, I have God inside of me, I am therefore part of God.” I literally looked over my shoulder before I uttered those words aloud. But when I touched and connected with my Higher Self, I suddenly touched the personalized interface with that God Source within, and the experience changed my life.

The Higher Self can be perceived in many different ways. Some people
see
it as a form. Others hear it. Still others sense it so strongly that it communicates with feeling. I usually see and hear it. Mine usually has a human form (a very tall, androgynous being) but sometimes it is only a voice. People have viewed their Higher Selves as persons, animals, shapes of
light, geometric designs, and so on. I know one person whose connection with the Higher Self was the most moving experience of his life and it came in the form of a beautiful white feather! Whatever it might reveal itself as, it has no difficulty expressing itself with its God Source understanding, because the Higher Self is our link and reflection to the God energy: it is harmonious, beautiful, peaceful, and commanding. When the connection occurs, the resulting inner calm can be felt physically. You
know
you can trust it. You
know
it is your inner guide, which you always intuitively understood was there but felt too silly to trust. When you finally align with that Higher Self, you have found the guiding light and friend who has always been with you—that guide who has loved you unconditionally through eternity and understands you totally. Since it is reflecting the harmony of the Source, it is happy, loving, and peaceful. A skeptic might call this maudlin and sentimental. To them I say: perhaps it is worth being maudlin and sentimental to some people in order to create better lives, more loving relationships, successful and meaningful work to do, and a peaceful world to live in.

The miracle of it is that the Higher Self is always present and open to recognition whether we recognize it or not. It is our conscious mind that isn’t always aware of its spiritual resource. Once again, we are what we are aware of. As we open and expand our conscious awareness, we become more expanded
and open human beings. To be close-minded is to limit the consciousness. To limit the consciousness is to limit our potential as an ever-expanding and expressing spark of the God Source.

We begin by aligning ourselves with the God energy of our Higher Selves within us. Again, any change externally begins with a change internally. When the conscious mind becomes aware of the Higher Self, a quickening occurs. That quickening is felt not only in the conscious mind, but also in the body. The quickening is rejuvenative, just as it is when we are inspired, or have a good idea, or we feel love. It is a quickening because we are in touch with a bottomless well of spiritual positivity. It is nonphysical, yet it affects us physically. It is beyond the physical, yet we know it’s there. It is
metaphysical.

I feel it happening as a kind of humming well-being. The first time I made the connection with my Higher Self, I was overwhelmed with feelings of love. I was working with a spiritual acupuncturist, Chris Griscom from New Mexico. I lay on a table completely relaxed, allowing pictures to unfold in my mind. It was much like watching a series of excerpts from long-forgotten films unspool in the theater of my mind. For a while I thought perhaps I was making everything up—that I was creating the pictures I was seeing. How or why I would create, for example, a small child (me) to be run over by a horse wagon driven by a man (an actor I once worked with), I didn’t know. Each time I questioned the
logic of the pictures I was seeing, the picture disappeared. Since my whole purpose was to experience the internality of my own being, I rapidly came to the conclusion that I was wasting time and energy by questioning and doubting and refuting what I was seeing within myself.

So I allowed the pictures to unravel without judgment. After a series of what I can only define as past-life recalls, one rapidly following another, I realized that the internal scenes had slowed down and something akin to a form shrouded in a golden copper hue came into view in the center of my being.

It took my breath away. I said nothing. Yet, at the same time, Chris described exactly what I was seeing inside myself! It was a powerful form, quietly standing in the center of my inner space, looking at me with total love! The figure was very tall, an androgynous being with long arms and the kindest face I had ever seen. The hair was reddish gold and the features aquiline. The figure lifted its arms and welcomed me to recognize it, saying, “I am the real you!” I heard the words inside my heart and I
knew
they were true. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I proceeded to carry on an internal conversation with this being, who told me things about myself I had always wanted to know. I asked questions about people, my marriage, my family (what relation they had had to me previously), what to expect in my professional work, and so on. I know how preposterous
this must sound to someone who believes that reality exists only outside of self. But believe me, when you’ve had your first taste of accessing your own inner reality, it significantly alters your view of yourself and your life forever.

Connecting with my Higher Self changed me. I
knew
then that the winds of change that had been rippling through me so hauntingly had only been clearing the way for me finally to acknowledge that my inner being was tied inextricably to something so grand and glorious and exciting that I would never be fundamentally alone or unhappy again.

One of the great joys of life for me, if not the greatest joy, has been the process of bridging the gap between the physical and my conscious mind and the nonphysical and my superconscious mind, between what my spiritual consciousness feels and senses and what it is able to manifest physically. Connecting with my Higher Self helped bridge that gap. Then I realized that everything I did in a physical dimension began first as an idea in a spiritual dimension.

Coming into alignment with my Higher Self caused an expanded self-awareness in me, which automatically led me to an expanded awareness and a gentler understanding of others. At the same time, touching my Higher Self created a sense of being aligned with the universal spirit, so that I felt a keener understanding of the concept that we are all one.

Bridging this gap may be the most important connection
I’ve made in life because it enables me to feel empowered and to transform my perception of the outside world I have chosen to live in. By expanding my perception of self, I stop feeling so helpless and victimized and realize with full profundity that I can transform anything I want by transforming myself. That transformation begins within.

Every day on some level and in some way I try to remind myself of who I am and where I come from. I remind myself that every single person on the planet possesses a soul and a Higher Self. I try to remind myself that I am truly important to this world and so is every single person I meet. And the most basic reminder of all: dare I believe that I have an all-knowing, intelligent soul energy operating as a Divine guide that is my personal connection to God? And so does everyone else?

Perhaps our very survival depends upon plunging into that truth—the truth that we are part of a universal God energy that permeates all life, and that it is the right of each unique being to claim his or her participation in perpetuating that miracle.

Perhaps so many of us feel plagued and raddled in our personal lives because we are not connected to the energy of our individual Divine superconsciousness (the energy of the Higher Self). The superconsciousness, which is connected to the universal consciousness, is speeding ahead, expanding and growing even as the universe itself is expanding and growing. I can feel it. We can all feel it. Science tells us that space/time
itself is expanding and growing. But it all seems to be happening too fast. Because we are not even aware of the connection, we are out of rhythm with the speed of the expansion. Being out of attunement, out of sync, so to speak, causes conflict and chaos. If we would open our conscious minds to the existence of the Higher Self and the superconsciousness in each of us, we would flow more in attunement with the universal energies that we sense are speeding and expanding beyond us. Because we feel unable to keep pace with that speed, we often feel that the dynamics of our lives are out of our control. When that happens, we feel helpless and unable to cope.

Well, as long as we remain limited in our awareness of the superconsciousness within, our lives will feel out of control, because the expanding universe and even time itself will continue to speed ahead whether we are capable of keeping up or not.

The intensity of experience itself is speeding up for all of us. What used to take several months to come to a head erupts now in a few days. Our emotional learning experiences are occurring at a rate that sometimes puts us into a swirl of futility. Many people don’t even see a negative occurrence as a learning experience at all because they haven’t been exposed to such a concept. Instead, they continue to feel victimized and helpless, ultimately blaming others for what they drew to themselves in order to learn—however unaware they may be of that fact.

I believe such negativity can be remedied by going
within to recognize and appreciate
self.
There is an urgent need for people to recognize the power within themselves, to know themselves as a spark of God. Everyone basically knows why they’re here, what lessons they’re learning. Everyone basically knows why they chose their husbands, their wives, their jobs, their bosses. They know why they’ve chosen the city and the country they live in. Somewhere, if they listen carefully enough to the answers of the Higher Self, they’ll hear the truth of why they’ve chosen the life they are leading and what they came into this life to accomplish. If they listen, connect, attune, and align, ultimately they will be more enlightened as to who they really are.