Going Gone (4 page)

“There’s nothing
to
say, but you needed to understand what she’s been through before you go in there. Her two coworkers died, as did the pilot.”

Sarah nodded. “Yes, I know and I agree. I’m just overwhelmed by everything.”

“Believe me, I understand,” Cameron said.

“I need to go wash off the tears and fix my face before I go in. Excuse me for a few minutes.”

“Good plan,” he said, and settled back onto the sofa.

When it was time, he walked Sarah to the area where she needed to wait.

“I’ll be in the waiting room when you come back.”

“Thanks,” she said, and went inside with the others as he walked away.

Sarah paused at the nurses’ desk for her sister’s location before moving past the other patients. She kept her eyes on the floor in front of her without looking at the people within.

She was scared; this holding area between life and death impacted so many others besides the patients themselves. Sooner or later they would leave, some breathing and some not, the latter leaving their families behind to deal with their grief. The common thread among all of them was the number of machines keeping them alive.

When she finally saw Laura she stumbled, then caught herself and kept walking until she was at the bed, pausing a moment to look her fill.

The dried blood staining the bandage on Laura’s scalp was a macabre reminder of what she had endured. The bruises on her face and neck were in coordinating shades of red and purple, and her raspy breathing under the oxygen mask made Sarah anxious. That would be from the pneumonia.

She knew about the stitches in Laura’s leg and the broken ribs, but after learning what her sister had gone through, she wondered if the scars that would last the longest would be the ones that remained unseen.

Aware that her time would be brief, she touched her sister first, then leaned closer and lowered her voice.

“Laura? Honey? It’s me, Sarah. Can you hear me?”

Laura’s eyelids fluttered.

Sarah spoke again.

“I’m here, Laura. Cameron is in the waiting room.”

It seemed
Cameron
was the magic word. Laura’s eyelids fluttered again, and then she opened them and saw her sister’s face.

“Sarah.”

Sarah cupped Laura’s cheek, then leaned down and kissed her.

“Yes, little sister, I’m here. Are you in pain?”

Laura sighed, winced, then blinked.

“Hurts.”

“I’m so sorry, honey, but you’re going to be okay.”

Laura fumbled for her sister’s hand, needing the contact to give her strength.

“Oh, Sarah, they died...they all died,” she whispered, and then choked on a sob.

“I know, honey, but that’s not your fault.”

Laura’s eyelids felt too heavy to keep open. She let them drop, then suddenly she remembered old horror and they flew open. Her gaze locked on Sarah’s face.

“There were wolves.”

Sarah tightened her hold on her sister’s hand, trying to find a way to ground her in the reality of the present, instead of the past.

“I know, honey. Cameron told me.”

Laura looked toward the exit.

“Cameron?”

“He’s still here. He’s in the waiting room.”

“Love him,” Laura whispered.

“I know you do, sweetheart. He loves you, too.”

“I want to go home,” Laura said.

Sarah smiled. “And you will, when you’re well.”

“Thought I’d never see you again,” Laura said.

In spite of Sarah’s determination not to cry, tears filled her eyes.

“Yes, well, I had the same fear when I first heard the news, but we’ve been blessed.”

“Best sister ever,” Laura said softly. Her eyelids drooped and then closed.

Sarah’s heart was full. She let Laura sleep, knowing rest was the thing she needed most. She said a brief prayer for her healing and left the ICU with the other visitors when time was up.

This time when she walked into the waiting room, there was purpose in her step. She was thankful for Cameron’s presence.

“She looked better than I expected. She knew me and talked to me. It was such a relief.”

Cameron relaxed, glad to know Laura hadn’t taken a turn for the worse.

“I know what you mean.”

“I have something to tell you,” she said. “It’s about the reason I was in Canada. I was interviewing for a new opening in my company.”

“Oh, yeah? How did it go?” he asked.

“I got the job.”

Cameron grinned. “That’s great news, Sarah. What will you be doing that’s different from what you do now?”

“For starters, I’ll be director of operations and living in London. I’m supposed to be in residence within the month. I already told them I’d do it before I found out about the crash. Now I don’t—”

Cameron held up a hand. “Stop right there. You have to know I’m going to be there for Laura in every way. This sounds like the job of a lifetime. Don’t let misplaced guilt sideline you, okay?”

She got teary all over again, but she was smiling.

“You are seriously the best thing that’s ever happened to Laura. I hope you know that.”

“It works both ways,” he said, and then looked away so she wouldn’t see his tears.

The next time visiting hour rolled around, they went in together, but as time passed, the stress of travel and worry finally pulled Sarah under, and now she was asleep on the sofa, leaving Cameron back in a chair. People came and went inside the waiting room, but he paid them no mind. He slept sitting up, and by seven in the morning, they were both awake and waiting for Laura’s doctor to make rounds.

Lake Chapala, Mexico

Hot pink jacaranda blooms in the courtyard between the retirement condos drooped in the hot afternoon sun. The teal-blue water in the shared pool was motionless. A red-and-white-striped life preserver was stalled near the middle of the pool, like an off-center belly button. It was siesta, a time to sleep through the hottest hours of the day, giving the aging residents a much-needed respite.

Hershel Inman and his wife, Louise, had always planned to retire to this place. But fate had changed their plans. When Louise died, so had Hershel’s dreams. In a way, he’d died, too, because when he finally moved into the retirement center, it was as retired businessman Paul Leibowitz. After years of enacting his own version of retribution, he’d finally done what he needed to and let go.

He liked condo living and puttering about in the little courtyard just outside his breakfast room. He liked the huge jacaranda blossoms and often floated one in a crystal bowl on his dining room table. He liked to think it gave his condo a feminine touch, something sadly lacking in his life.

He continued the slow process of having scar tissue removed, scheduling yet another surgery in Guadalajara only after he’d sufficiently healed from the previous one.

The elderly couple who lived across the courtyard had become his friends. He had eaten dinner at their home more than once in the past few months, and while he wasn’t much of a cook, he knew he needed to return the favor. He didn’t cook, but he’d acquired quite a taste for the local food and ate out more than in to satisfy his hunger for the spicy dishes.

Hershel rarely thought about the past other than with a sense of satisfaction. He had served his own brand of justice to the powers that be, and that knowledge gave him the ease he needed to get on with his life, and it had obviously given his deceased Louise spiritual rest, since she didn’t talk to him anymore.

It was only at night, when the world was quiet, that his life came back to haunt him. Most of the images were of Hurricane Katrina, of him and Louise clinging to the roof of their house as the floodwaters rose. In the dreams, Louise was in his arms crying for her insulin, begging to be rescued. And the dream always turned into a nightmare, just as life had, with him watching as she slowly slipped into a diabetic coma and died.

Every time he woke up, he was so angry he couldn’t take a breath without thinking he was going to puke. He got out of bed and prowled the house in bare feet, waiting for daybreak by drinking coffee and watching television, doing whatever it took to rebury the memories. By sunrise, copious amounts of caffeine had usually dulled his emotions.

At that point it was Paul who would begin his day with a long walk that always ended up at a local café for breakfast.

* * *

Sarah had stayed for five days and now had been gone for five more. She’d gone back to her job and the chaos of making a move to a foreign country, but it wasn’t until Laura had been moved from the ICU to a private room that she told her sister about the job promotion. To her relief, Laura seemed happy for her, which made everything easier.

In reality, Laura was proud of Sarah but at the same time a little sad she would be living so far away. But as each day passed, Laura grew stronger. Her ribs were healing, the stitches had come out of her leg and her lungs were clear.

She’d heard nurses talking about her imminent dismissal, and was anxious to be home. But the problem now was how to get there. She hadn’t mentioned it to the doctor or said anything to Cameron, but there was an issue that was going to hinder her homecoming. Denver was a long way from Washington, D.C., and she was afraid to get back on a plane, and yet it was something she knew she was going to have to face.

* * *

Cameron came into the hospital room carrying several shopping bags and smiling from ear to ear.

“What’s all this?” Laura asked, as he laid them on her lap and then gave her a quick kiss.

“Clothes. You can’t go home in a hospital gown, and the doctor said tomorrow is the day.”

“You bought me clothes? Ooh, I hope they fit.”

“Oh, they fit. I asked Sarah your sizes. She bought you underwear before she left, and I did the rest.”

“I can’t believe it!” Laura said, and began looking through the bags. “I love this sweater. It’s so soft, and it’s pink—one of my favorite colors. It will look great with these gray slacks. Oh, Cameron, you even got shoes and socks. These half boots will be perfect. Is there still snow?”

“Not here, but there is back home,” he said as he pulled the last two items out of a larger sack.

One was a winter coat made of soft gray wool, the other a small duffel bag to pack her things. The smile on her face warmed his heart.

“Cameron, I adore you! You’re the best. You thought of everything.”

He grinned. “I have us booked on a 2:00 p.m. flight tomorrow afternoon. It’s a nonstop straight into D.C. We’ll be home in time for dinner.”

When the smile froze on her face, he knew something was wrong.

“What is it, honey?”

She clutched his hand, her voice trembling.

“I’m scared to death to get back on a plane.”

He groaned inwardly. How stupid of him not to realize.

“I didn’t think. I’m sorry. I can rent a car and drive you back, but it will be a rough trip, and it will take days. Some of the roads are snow packed.”

“No, no car. I’ll get on the plane, but I need you to know I might freak out.”

He frowned. “The doctor can prescribe something for you to take. It will be okay. I’ll be right beside you all the way.”

She nodded, her eyes tearing again. “I know, and I’m sorry. But it is what it is.”

“You do not need to apologize. Anyone in their right mind would feel the same. Don’t worry, okay? I’ll take care of the meds and everything else.”

“Okay,” she said, and then made herself change the subject. “What’s in that one?” she asked, pointing to a bag at the foot of her bed.

He handed it to her. “It’s another pair of pants and a heavy sweater. I wanted you to have choices.”

All of a sudden her eyes were swimming with tears.

“What, honey? What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

“I was just thinking about Marcy and Dan, and the pilot. I get to go home, and they’re dead and buried.”

He dropped the sack and took her in his arms. Her hair, still damp from her morning shower, clung to his cheek as he held her. She was trembling and weepy, and he wished this could be fixed with a kiss and a hug, but it couldn’t. After a few moments he leaned back and tilted her chin up to meet his gaze.

“I’m very sorry about your friends, but I’m grateful beyond words that you survived. You have no idea how frightened Sarah and I were when we got the news.”

Laura leaned into his embrace.

“I can imagine. I am so tired of crying, and I’m very thankful that I’m still here, too, but some days it still overwhelms me.”

“How do you feel about Sarah moving to London?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Happy for her. This is what she’s been working toward.”

“You’ve still got me,” he said.

A crooked smile shifted the somber expression off her face. “I’m not about to forget that.”

“Good, because when we get home, there’s something I want to discuss with you.”

“What?” she asked.

He grinned. “Not until we get home.”

Her eyes widened. “Is it a secret?”

“It won’t be after we have that discussion.”

She groaned. “Seriously, Cameron, you can’t just drop such a loaded comment and then make me wait to find out what it is.”

He grinned again.

When she realized he wasn’t going to budge, she shrugged.

“At least I’ll have another reason to want to get on that plane tomorrow. The sooner we get back, the sooner I find out the big secret.”

Cameron was thinking about that engagement ring in his safe at home and the Valentine dinner that never happened. Sarah was moving out. Maybe it was time for him to move in.

Four

A
n airport attendant pushed Laura and her wheelchair through the airport, with Cameron about a step and a half ahead, parting the crowd for them to pass.

They’d checked their luggage at curbside and were traveling light on their way to the boarding gate. Laura’s new coat and purse were in her lap, giving her something stable to hold on to, pushing her fear of the flight down to a level just below screaming. As they approached yet another shop on the concourse, Cameron slowed down.

“Hey, honey, it’s almost an hour until takeoff. Do you want something to read, or some snacks to take with us?”

Laura’s stomach was rolling. The thought of food made her want to throw up.

“No. Better not,” she said. “I feel kind of queasy already.”

“I have the meds your doctor gave you for traveling. You’re going to be fine.” He stopped the attendant. “Please, wait here a second. I’m going to get her some pretzels. Something salty might help.”

The attendant wheeled up to the storefront, then parked her out of the line of traffic as Cameron went inside the store.

Laura watched, noting his confident stride and the way he had of slipping in and out of the moving crowd, grabbing snacks, magazines and a couple of bottles of water. When he turned around to look at her and caught her watching, he winked, which made her smile. Just for a moment, the fear within her settled. She didn’t have words for how much she loved him.

A few minutes later he was back, and then they were off, negotiating the crowds, the rise and fall of conversations as they passed different gates, the continual announcements of arrivals and departures.

Anxiety returned with a vengeance. God, oh, God, she couldn’t believe she was about to do this.

All of a sudden Cameron’s hand was on her shoulder, as if he’d sensed she was already freaking out.

“Get out the meds the doctor gave you,” he said, and she did. He handed her a bottle of water as she popped them in her mouth and washed them down, then packed it back up. “Just breathe easy,” he said softly.

She closed her eyes and nodded, but it was easier said than done. Minutes later they were at the gate. Before she could wrap her head around their imminent departure, early boarding for those needing extra time was announced.

Cameron caught the frantic look on her face and took her hand.

“Laura, sweetheart, just close your eyes and picture home.”

And so she did, flooding her mind with images of the way sunlight came through the front window of her house in the afternoon and through the blue glass dish that had belonged to her great-grandmother Jewel. She thought of how the hardwood floors took on an amber gleam just after they were cleaned, and how the chime of the grandfather clock at the end of the hall reminded her of her childhood, counting off the hours until bedtime.

Her eyes were still closed when they handed the attendant their boarding passes. As they entered the jet bridge, fear of what she was about to do made her lose the connection to home. The inside of the covered walkway smelled of plane fuel and cold air. When the ramp began to slope downward, she felt the slight pull of gravity and panicked. It felt just like the plane had when it began to go down. She whimpered slightly and leaned forward, bracing herself for impact.

Cameron frowned. He didn’t know what was going through her mind, but he could tell it was bad. Her knuckles were white and her body was shaking.

“You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.”

She could hear voices. People were talking and laughing, nothing like what she’d heard before. No praying. No crying. She took a breath and finally looked. There was a family of three in front of them: a man, a woman and a small child in a stroller. It cleared the emotional confusion but not the fear.

The closer they got to the plane, the colder the air became. When they reached the end of the ramp, she had to stand up. The attendant stood aside with the wheelchair while the family in front of them folded up the stroller and tagged it for baggage. These were all simple ordinary tasks. She could do this.

And then she glanced toward the plane, saw tiny flakes of snow blowing in through a small gap by the open door and grabbed Cameron’s arm, her voice mirroring the panic she felt as she said, “It’s snowing.”

Cameron nodded. “Just tiny little flakes. Look, there’s nothing on the ground. It’s okay, honey. Just take my hand.”

“You go first,” she begged.

He stepped into the plane and paused, waiting for her to step across. He could see the horror in her eyes as she looked down.

“Look at me, honey. Don’t look down. Look at me.”

Their gazes locked, and she stepped in.

“Is everything all right?” a flight attendant asked, eyeing Laura.

“It will be,” Cameron said.

He’d gotten tickets in first class, knowing she was going to need all the pampering and room she could handle just to make the trip, then led her a few steps to their seats.

The flight attendant took their coats as Cameron got Laura settled in the window seat and buckled her up.

“You’ve already taken your pills, so you’ll feel easier soon,” he said, then gave her a brief kiss of reassurance as he settled into the seat beside her.

His lips were warm and gentle. He was familiar. She was safe. It was going to be all right.

She glanced out the window at the ground crew loading luggage and remembered opening all the suitcases inside their plane and using the clothes she found to stay warm. If it happened again, she wouldn’t be able to get to the luggage this time, because it was in the belly of the plane. Maybe there would be enough clothing in the carry-on bags. And then she caught herself.

What was she doing? The plane wasn’t going to crash. She had already had her plane crash and lived through it. Surely God didn’t let things like that happen twice.

A flight attendant stopped by their seats.

“Can I get either of you something to drink?” she asked.

Startled, Laura almost jumped, then focused on the question.

“Coffee? Could I have coffee? I can’t seem to stay warm today.”

“Certainly,” the attendant said, then looked at Cameron. “How about you, sir? Anything to drink?”

“Coffee is fine,” he said, and then turned his attention to Laura again as the attendant walked away. “It will be a while till they finish boarding and we pull away from the gate, but the meds will kick in before then. Do you want to go to the bathroom before we take off?”

She nodded and unbuckled her seat belt.

Cameron stood up, then helped her back up the aisle.

“She needs the restroom,” he said.

As Laura went in and locked the door, the flight attendant glanced at the bathroom, and then at him.

“Is she okay? Is she not feeling well?”

He flashed his FBI badge and then dropped it back in his pocket.

“She’s not sick. She’s scared.”

The attendant acknowledged the badge as she smiled sympathetically.

“Ah, is this her first flight?”

“No, but this is her first flight since a crash.”

The pilot was standing in the doorway to the cockpit, listening. When he heard that, he frowned.

“What crash was that?” he asked.

“Two weeks ago. A private jet went down in the mountains outside of Denver,” Cameron said softly.

“Ah, damn, I heard about the crash and that there was a survivor.”

“She’s the one,” Cameron said.

The bathroom door opened. Laura came out, then paused, a little startled by the people grouped in the aisle.

The attendant’s smile was just a little wider, and the pilot nodded his head.

“Welcome aboard, ma’am.”

Laura blinked, then glanced at Cameron. He pointed up the boarding ramp.

“Here come the regular passengers. We’d better get back in our seats.”

Immediately after they were seated, the attendant had coffee on their trays and was back at the doorway, welcoming passengers aboard.

Laura took a quick sip and then glanced at Cameron.

“You told them, didn’t you?”

He shrugged.

She sighed. “It’s okay. If I freak out later, maybe they won’t throw me off the plane.”

“If you get scared, just grab my hand. If that doesn’t help, maybe we can make out a little to keep you otherwise occupied.”

She laughed, picturing that happening in full view of a planeload of strangers.

He grinned. The foolishness of the remark did the trick. Now having sex with him was on her mind instead of flying.

The passengers filed past, some looking longingly at the first-class seats, others just anxious to get in and get settled. And then fate played a cruel joke.

The boarding line stalled, and people standing in line were getting impatient while a flight attendant tried to iron out a conflict back in coach between two people claiming the same seat. Voices were raised, and everyone was craning their necks, trying to see what was going on.

Cameron was sending a text, and Laura was looking at a magazine when she heard someone say her name.

“Laura? Laura Doyle? Is that you?”

Cameron looked up and then quickly glanced at Laura. She looked rattled, and his first instinct was to intervene; then Laura laid down her magazine and gave the middle-aged brunette a quick glance.

“Oh, hello, Tessa. Small world.”

“Oh, my God! I never imagined I would see you here. I can’t believe you’ve got the guts to fly again after what happened to you, what with everyone dying and all.”

Every passenger within hearing distance turned around to look.

A muscle jerked near Laura’s right eye. “Technically, everyone didn’t die, Tessa, because I’m still here.”

Cameron’s seat belt clicked, then slipped to the side as he stood up, which instantly removed Laura from the woman’s line of vision. His voice was soft, but his intent was firm, and there was no mistaking how pissed he was.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but that was an insensitive remark and best left unspoken, if you get my drift.”

Tessa frowned as she lifted her chin, challenging his disapproval.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know who you are, but she’s my friend. We were at a conference together a few weeks ago. We were all horrified when we heard about the crash, and I wanted to wish her well.”

He smiled, but it never reached his eyes.

“I don’t know
you,
either, but just for the record, I’m the man who rocks her world, and I did not hear you wish her well. What I heard coming out of your mouth was morbid curiosity.”

Someone snickered at the back of the line.

Tessa glared.

Cameron didn’t budge.

The line began to move.

Cameron continued to stand, smiling politely until Tessa finally gave in, and the situation was resolved. Only then did he sit back down.

Laura was pale and teary as he reached for her hand. He grinned wryly, trying to ease the shock.

“We should have bought a lottery ticket today. Wonder what the odds were of something like that happening?”

She sighed. “Thank you.”

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles, then winked and leaned close to her ear.

“Ready for that make-out session yet?” he whispered.

She rolled her eyes but smiled, which was his intent.

I love you,
she mouthed silently.

He kissed the side of her face. “I love you most,” he whispered, then leaned back, turned off his phone and buckled up. “Is your phone off?” he asked.

“It’s dead,” she said, and then looked horrified at what she’d just said. “I mean, it needs to be recharged.”

He frowned. “Look, honey, that word doesn’t hold any special power. It does not have to be purged from your vocabulary.”

Her eyes narrowed angrily. “I hate this. I hate what happened. I hate that my friends are gone. I hate being afraid.”

“I know, and I hate it for you, but nothing can change what happened.”

She looked out the window without answering, then angrily pulled the shade down.

He let her be. It wasn’t enough that she’d been rattled by the flight, but the universe had thrown in a brainless “friend” to boot.

Then all of a sudden they were backing away from the gate, and Laura’s focus shattered. She clutched the armrests so tightly that her knuckles whitened.

Cameron grabbed her hand.

“Laura, look at me.”

She turned her head.

“Lean back, take a deep breath and hold on to me. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

She did as he asked without arguing, but she knew better. It wasn’t possible to make promises like that. Not when fate was in charge.

The plane began to taxi. She moaned beneath her breath and closed her eyes, focusing on the strength of Cameron’s grasp. By the time the plane was cleared for takeoff she was crying without making a sound.

Cameron was sick at heart for what she was going through, but he had no way to make it better. It was a blessing when the pills finally took effect and she fell asleep.

* * *

They served food an hour into the flight, but Laura was still sleeping. Cameron ate lightly, paying more attention to her than his tray, and was glad when the attendant took it away.

He got up once to go to the bathroom and asked the attendant to stand watch until he returned. He was on his way back when the plane hit rough air. The flight attendant headed for the intercom as the seat belt sign came back on. Just as he got to his seat and buckled in, the ride became rougher.

Laura woke up with a gasp, the sensation of déjà vu so horrifying, she turned to look for Marcy. Instead, she saw Cameron reaching for her.

“What’s happening?” she gasped.

“Just rough air, baby. No big deal. It’s happened plenty of times before, right?”

She heard his voice but couldn’t focus enough to understand the words. She covered her face and bent forward, ready for impact.

Cameron knew she was only seconds away from screaming when he unlocked their seat belts and pulled her into his lap.

The passengers around them looked sympathetic. They’d heard enough during boarding to understand what was happening, but the moment she was in his lap the flight attendant was on her feet.