God In The Kitchen (32 page)

            “I’m sorry,” I said, “could you tell me what this is about?”

            “I don’t enjoy being the bearer of bad news,” Barnes said in his stuffy, formal tone, “but I’m afraid your friend has passed away.”

            “Passed away? Wait, are you saying Chloe is gone?”

            “I’m afraid so,” the lawyer said stoically, without about as much sympathy as a rock.

            “What happened?” I asked, leaning against the wall for support and hoping that its strength could hold me through the answer.

            “She had a heart arrhythmia. Apparently it was something they didn’t really know about. She had some sort of episode yesterday and they were unable to revive her.”

            My heart began beating again, but all too quickly. I imagined if I was feeling the panic that Chloe must have felt as she realized she was having a heart issue of her own. “What about Ian? Is he okay?” I asked, my love for the boy re-surfacing with a vengeance.

            “That’s what I need to talk to you about. Look, Mr. Jones, it would really be better to get into the details in person. When can I stop by and explain everything?”

            “Come over right now. Please. I need to know what’s going on,” I said, breathless with anticipation and panic.

            “My hotel is only about 15 minutes away. I’ll be there shortly. Thank you for your time,” the lawyer said.

            As I hung up the phone, I sank to the floor and put my head in my hands. I had been so happy earlier in the day. My life with Maria was shaping up to be just how I wanted married life to be. I had resolved things with Evan and I had even gotten to see my dad for one last time.

            But now…now I had lost someone who had been very dear to me. Someone who had helped me get where I was today. Someone who’s son I loved so much that it hurt.

            What had happened to Chloe? What was going to happen to Ian? The fifteen minutes I spent waiting for the lawyer to arrive were the longest I had ever experienced.

            Barry Barnes arrived precisely 15 minutes later in a short, green tercel that didn’t quite match his dark navy business suit. I had had time only to briefly explain what I knew of the situation to Maria before we sat silently side by side on the porch steps and waited.

            Mr. Barnes strode purposely up to the porch, his briefcase in one hand and his other hand extended formally out before him.

            “Barry Barnes,” he said, “we spoke on the phone.” As if I wouldn’t remember the conversation that took place only minutes before. “Is there somewhere we can talk?” he said, indicating the briefcase in his other hand.

            I led him into the kitchen and cleared the boxes from the table for the second time that day so that we would have room for whatever surprised he had in his brown leather case.

            Barry placed his briefcase on the table. “In the middle of a move, you weren’t kidding,” he said, the structure of his sentence nowhere near matching the formality of his voice.

            I shook my head and glanced at Maria, who stood nervously behind me as I sat in the chair across from Barry.

            “Let me get straight to the point,” he said, probably feeling my anxiousness from the few feet of distance between us. “Mrs. Marriet…Chloe, she had heart defect. I understand her son had a congenital defect of his own so I’m not sure why she never had herself checked out,” he said, shaking his head. “Anyways, it’s no matter now. She passed away the other day and I am seeing to her affairs now.”

            I waited as Barry flipped open his case and pulled out a manila folder, which he then opened.

            “You are Jared Jones,” he said, looking at me over the edge of the folder as I nodded. “And you were the one who helped Chloe’s son receive the surgery he needed.”

            I nodded again, though the lawyer stated it more as a fact than a question.

            “It is my understanding that Mrs. Marriet wanted you to take over custody of her son, Ian. You know the boy well, correct?”

            Wait, what? Chloe wanted me to have Ian? It didn’t make any sense. I didn’t bother answering Barry Barnes’ question, I simply shot out one of my own. “What about Greg? What about Chloe’s husband?”

            “It is my understanding,” the lawyer began again, much as he had in his last statement, causing my to wonder if he had to answer that way due to some sort of legality, “that Mr. Marriet signed over his rights to the boy a full month ago.”

            “Signed over his rights,” I muttered. “What does that mean?”

            “Basically,” Barnes said as Maria squeezed my shoulder, “it means that for all intents and purposes, as far as the law is concerned, Mr. Marriet is no longer Ian’s father.”

            “What…what happened?” I asked, incredulous at this sudden turn of events. When I had last seen Chloe, she and Greg had been happy and they were going to start a new life together in a new location with Greg’s great job and their cute little family.

            “I don’t really have all of the details,” Barnes said. “But I believe Mr. Marriet had a history of mental illness. Apparently he simply didn’t feel he was fit to be Ian’s father any longer and he wanted to make sure that his wife had the legal ability to do as she saw necessary without his consent.”

            He had abandoned them. Again. All of the legal mumbo jumbo boiled down to that simple fact. I felt my fury rise, but it quickly settled as Maria’s gentle hand stroked my neck. None of that mattered now. All that mattered was Ian and what would become of him.

            “So, you’re saying that Chloe wants me…us to be Ian’s family now?”

            The lawyer nodded. “That’s correct. Her will clearly states that in the event of her death, you are to take custody of the boy and hopefully move onto the road of adoption. Is this something you are willing to do?”

            Memories of Ian flashed through my mind. The way he zoomed the train around the track. The way he folded the paper airplane and the pride on his face when it finally zoomed across the room and hit the window on the other side. And the way he clung to his mother for his every need.

            “Here,” Barnes said, “Chloe left this for you.” He slid an envelope across the table, much like the one I had received when she fled our relationship the first time around. “I’ll give you a few minutes to read it and talk things over with your wife. I’m sorry to pressure you like this, but he’s staying in foster care now and it’s really best to make the transition to his permanent family as soon as possible. He needs people he knows right now. This is a rough time for him.”

            I nodded and stared at the letter as I watched my hand slid it closer to my side of the table without realizing I was moving. Barry Barnes took his leave and moved his briefcase from the table and to the porch.        

            Maria plopped into the chair next to mine. “Read it,” she said.

            I opened the envelope, unfolded the letter, and began to read with Maria watching nearby, judging what it said based on the look my face held.

           
Dear Jared,

            I hope that this letter never finds you, but you know when it comes to Ian, I could never be too careful. It has been a few months since we left town and things couldn’t have been better. Still, I know Greg and I knew that things with him would never change. I had to give him another chance and I feel I did the best I could. And he did the best he could as well. Somewhere inside him, there is a great father. And we saw bits and pieces of that man from time to time. But the truth of the matter is that Greg is not meant to be Ian’s father. Even if he helped created him in the biological sense.

            Anyways, after going through everything I have with Ian, I know how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken from you. Because of that experience, I wanted to make sure that my little boy was well cared for by someone I knew would love him, if anything were to ever happen to me.

            If you’re reading this letter, something must have happened. It might be a week from when I wrote it or it might be years, but it doesn’t matter. You are the only man in Ian’s life who was able to love him without abandon. In you, I saw much of myself simply from the way that you looked at my son.

            It is my dying wish that you take my little boy and care for him as if he were your own. Jared, without me in the picture, he IS yours. I know I asked a lot of you when I was in town. Actually, you simply did a lot without me ever asking. Well, now I AM asking. I am asking that you do me this one last favor. Please accept the honor of raising my child for me. No matter what happened to me, knowing that Ian is in your care will give me peace.

            Until we meet again in this life or another,

            Chloe

            I let the tears run down my face as I held the letter over to Maria for her to read it and take in the news for herself. I could have relayed the information myself, but I simply could not speak. I had truly cared for Chloe and I was sad that she was gone. But she was right. I had always looked at her son in a different way. I had looked at him with the eyes of a father.

            I kept my head bowed in prayer as Maria read the letter. I asked God for the answer before I asked my wife for her opinion. I heard the letter flutter to the table and seconds later, Maria’s hands covered mine.

            “What does He say?” she asked, knowing that I was consulting God. “If it’s not yes, I’m going to be really angry with Him,” she whispered.

            “Could you get Mr. Barnes?” I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes and knowing that I had her permission to move forward with the decision, no matter what it was. Maria trusted me. She trusted me in the fact that Evan had been real and my story had been true and she trusted me now to listen to God and do what was right.

            Barry Barnes strode through the kitchen door again in a matter of fact, businesslike manner. He set his briefcase on the ground and folded his hands on the table in front of him. He raised his eyebrows instead of asking anything and simply waited for me to begin the conversation.

            “The answer,” I said as I paused to regain my composure, “is yes.”

            It took a day for us to sign the papers and another day for us to arrange travel from our location to Ian’s. We had not yet decided whether we would move, relocate him, or just what our future held. We just knew we had to get to him as quickly as possible. We were all he had left in the world. He was our child.

            I had told Evan in the very beginning that all I wanted in order to fulfill my life was a family. I wanted a wife and I wanted children. I had no idea at the time how that would all come together. I had no idea that I would have to get through two women and two heartbreaks in order to find the right one. I also had no idea that one of the friendships I formed along the way would lead me to a little boy that would become my child.

            As I stepped into the foster home, a dog barking in the distance and Maria at my side, I couldn’t wait to see Ian. I knew things would be hard. He would miss his mother. Neither Maria nor I could ever replace her and we wouldn’t try. But we would be the best parents we could be to that little boy. Of that I was more sure than anything I had ever had pass through my life.

            Ian sat on the floor, running his little wooden train back and forth in the same spot on the floor.

            “He’s been pretty hard to reach,” the foster mom said quietly as we introduced ourselves in the corridor. “He’s really taking it hard.”