God Ain't Through Yet (13 page)

“P
lease stop singing that tired old song!”

“Baby, I am just bein' up front with you. Hirin' Lizzie might not be the answer to my problem with Henry after all.”

“Exactly what is the problem with her?” I wanted to know, crossing my legs.

“She's kind of quiet when she's workin' on a customer's nails. You know how much socializin' we do over there.”

“Tell me about it. I know all about the whooping and hollering that goes on in that shop. I've walked by there more than once when you and your boys were on such a rowdy roll, I didn't bother to enter.”

“It's just barbershop stuff, baby. We ain't no louder up in there than you and your women friends are at Claudette's beauty shop. I've walked by there a few times myself and I was scared to enter.”

“The thing is, you just might be a little too rowdy for a woman as shy and conservative as Lizzie. If you want her to feel more comfortable, and more like a part of your team, encourage her to participate in the conversations. They say that still waters run deep. Maybe all she needs is for something to stir her up a little.”

“I can do that, I guess,” Pee Wee offered. He paused and gave me a sad look. That told me that there was more to this than just Lizzie being too quiet. There were times when it was hard to get information out of Pee Wee. I wondered if I didn't drag certain things out of his mouth, if he'd ever tell me on his own. This was one of those times. He had me all worked up about his problem with Lizzie and, as usual, it looked like he was going to leave it up to me to sort it out. And by making me drag the information out of him that I needed to work with, it made my role in this mess that much harder. And I didn't like it one bit. As a matter of fact, I promised myself that in the future when he had a problem that was related to his business, I'd let him handle it on his own. That is, unless it involved me directly.

“Pee Wee, something tells me that there is something else you want to complain about regarding Lizzie. If that is the case, would you please do so? Or do I have to sit here and play twenty questions, or some other kind of guessing game?”

He covered his mouth and released a quiet cough. Then he started talking real slow and in a low voice. “We need to discuss her appearance.”

“Her appearance? What's wrong with her appearance?” I laughed. “Now look. Even in school Little Leg Lizzie was no femme fatale. She didn't have any fashion sense then, and she doesn't have any now. So what? You don't need some hoochie coochie woman up in that barbershop with her titties and her booty hanging out of a see-through mini-dress, now do you?” I laughed again.

“That ain't exactly what I'm talkin' about.” Pee Wee paused and gave me an “I'm not sure what to say next” look. He waited, looking at me like I was supposed to know what was coming next.

“Baby, my mind-reading skills are kind of rusty, so could you help me out here?”

“See, she ain't exactly ugly after all, or nothin' like that, but a little eye makeup and some rouge wouldn't hurt. Women customers might get the wrong idea when they see her. They might get offended….”

“What do you mean by that? You make the woman sound as gruesome as a one-eyed Cyclops.” I pushed my half-empty coffee cup to the side.

“If you went into a beauty shop and saw the woman who was goin' to work on you to make you beautiful, wouldn't you feel better if she was already lookin' mighty spiffy herself?”

I blinked.

“I'm just sayin' that we have to look the part. We can't expect our customers to have much confidence in us makin' them look good if we ain't lookin' good. Is that makin' any sense to you?” Pee Wee rubbed my shoulder. “I mean, I like Lizzie and I know she needs a job. But if I am goin' to hold my own against Henry Boykin, I need all the help I can get. I heard a real reliable rumor that he's got some of his boys out on the street passin' out flyers advertisin' all kinds of deals and puttin' coupons on folks' windshield wipers at the mall parkin' lot.”

“So? You can be just as enterprising as Henry.”

Pee Wee kept talking, as if he had not heard a word I'd just said. “He's got so many new customers; if I didn't know any better, I'd swear he was dealin' drugs again. If that's the case, I don't have a chance to move up to the next level. I will need all of the help I can get just to stay in business. And I don't think Lizzie can help that cause. There's a lot of young people out there. The hip-hop crowd. They don't want to come into my place with a grandmammy-lookin' woman like Lizzie workin' for me. It's bad enough that Henry is part of that generation, so he's already got that edge on me.”

I gave Pee Wee's words some thought. “You're right. The only way to fight fire is with fire. And you have to really get on the ball in this case.”

“Meanin' what?”

“We could give Henry a run for his money if we do things right. We need to do something extreme.”

“Like hirin' one of them cute little Asian gals to work for me?”

“Not
that
extreme,” I chided. I was only half joking. “I'm telling you now that if you do hire an Asian woman, she'd better look like Charlie Chan,” I snapped, surprised and annoyed that a man as sensible as Pee Wee would make such a frivolous remark. “You know I'm just kidding. You can hire anybody you want to hire as long as she's competent. But I hope you give Lizzie a good reason when you fire her.”

“I don't want to fire Lizzie. I just want to spruce her up some,” Pee Wee said quickly. “She's a really nice woman.”

“And you know what else? I got a real close-up look at her that day in the café when I interviewed her. She's not nearly as homely as people make her out to be. As a matter of fact, she's got some really nice features to work with. With the right hairdo and the right makeup, she could shine like a new dime. I know you can remember how people used to treat me like a frump—and I was.”

Pee Wee gave me one of the most loving looks I had ever received from him. I could have looked like Mighty Joe Young, but from the way he was looking at me, you would have thought that I looked like Sade, Janet Jackson, and Mariah Carey all rolled into one. “Let me tell you one thing right now, you ain't
never
been no frump to me. Since the day I met you, I have always thought you looked like a film star.”

“That's not saying much. Godzilla was a film star.” I chuckled. From the stiff look on his face, it was obvious that Pee Wee didn't see any humor in my comment, so I cleared my throat and got serious again. “Anyway, because I worked on my appearance, and lost all of that weight, the same people who used to make fun of me are now stopping me on the street to tell me how good I look. I don't care what people say about looks not being everything, that's a damn lie. People respond to the way you look. Why don't you tell Lizzie in a nice way to fix herself up a little.” I didn't think that there was anything wrong with my suggestion, but the way Pee Wee reacted you would have thought that I'd just told him to cut off Lizzie's head.

“Shit! I don't want to hurt her feelin's. She might up and quit, and I don't want her to do that. Not after all I've told so many of my regulars about her.”

“Do you want me to talk to her? She might take it better if another woman told her to fix herself up.”

Pee Wee caressed his chin and thought about what I'd just said. “Let me drop a few subtle hints in her direction first. If that don't work, then maybe I'll have you or Rhoda put a June bug in her ear. Maybe y'all can take her to the Red Rose and get her drunk. Then take her over to Claudette's beauty shop and have them give her a makeover or somethin'. When she sobers up and sees how cute she looks, maybe she'll get the hint. Claudette knows what to do. She's been turnin' hound dogs into poodles for years. She can do the same thing for Lizzie! You know what I mean; brush some rouge and shit on her face. Maybe even slap a wig on her head.”

Pee Wee's interpretation of a makeover was downright scary. I didn't even bother to tell him that it involved more than having a woman “brush some rouge and shit on her face” and “slap a wig on her head” to make herself look good. I couldn't imagine what he was going to say to Lizzie for her to get some beauty treatments. And I would have been glad to talk to her myself if he'd asked me. But he didn't.

Exactly one week to the day after my conversation with Pee Wee about Lizzie's appearance, Muh'Dear called me up at my office right after I returned from lunch. Just from the low, sweet tone of her voice, I knew she was calling me up with some disturbing news. It didn't take her long. She got under my skin quicker than a tick. “If I was you, I'd be worried about my husband workin' with such a pretty woman….”

“Huh?” I responded. My first thought was that Pee Wee had fired Lizzie and hired one of those cute little Asian girls anyway. “What pretty woman are you talking about?” I held the telephone close to my ear so I could make sure I heard everything. “Did he fire Lizzie? I knew this was going to happen!” I slapped the side of my forehead with the palm of my hand. “Muh'Dear, I tried. I did everything I could to help Lizzie. Look, if you see her before I do, let her know how sorry I am about her getting fired. No, that's all right. I'll give her a call myself. I hope she didn't take it too hard.”

“He didn't fire that woman. She's the pretty woman I'm talkin' about.” Muh'Dear sucked on her teeth.

“Lizzie? What did she do to herself? Pee Wee had told me that he was going to drop a few hints to her that might make her get herself fixed up some. You know, some rouge and shit. And maybe a wig…”

“Well, he must have dropped some mighty big hints because that Little Leg Lizzie sure is lookin' good these days.” I didn't like the smug tone in my mother's voice, but I had gotten used to it over the years. She couldn't help herself. She was one of those old sisters who usually did more harm than good when she tried to “help” somebody.

“Excuse me?” I said. I had visited my OB/GYN earlier that morning and had my annual Pap test and a mammogram. I was still slightly sore from all the poking and prodding I'd endured, so I was in a testy mood. It was hard for me to sound cheerful. But for once, my mother didn't even comment on how harsh I sounded. “What in the world are you talking about? And if you don't mind, could you tell me in ten minutes or less? I have a lot of work to do and I got in late, so I can't spend a lot of time on the phone.”

“You want me to call you when you get home, then?”

“No! I want you to tell me what you called to tell me now,” I hollered.

“You know I'm just tryin' to help you. I didn't know you was gwine to get this sassy by me callin' you—”

“Muh'Dear, please get to the point,” I begged.

“I seen Lizzie comin' out of Claudette's beauty shop as I was goin' in to get my scalp massaged this mornin'. She looks like a film star.”

“Oh? Hmmm. Lizzie got a makeover? That was quick. I'm glad he didn't waste any time.”

“What was quick?”

“Well, now that she's working for Pee Wee, we wanted her to be a little more glamorous.”

“We? We who?”

“Pee Wee and I.”

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence.

“Muh'Dear, are you still there?”

“Yeah, I'm still here. I was just thinkin' about what you just said.” More silence. “Why would you want that woman to look more glamorous?”

“It's good for business, Muh'Dear.”

“A glamorous woman is good for a lot of other things, too.”

I
felt like I was fighting a battle that nobody could win. I felt like I was still on the same treadmill that I'd been on longer than I cared to admit, and I couldn't get off.

Before Lizzie's makeover, Muh'Dear had recommended her for the job. Then she was concerned that Lizzie might not be the right choice for the job, all because she had not had her “fruit plucked” by a man yet. And that she didn't have the right look. But now that Lizzie was looking “glamorous,” Muh'Dear didn't want Lizzie working for my husband because of
that
! This was one subject that was really getting on my nerves. It had become a no-win situation as far as I was concerned. The bottom line was, Lizzie had been hired and it appeared that things were working out for her, and for my husband's business. That was all I cared about.

“Muh'Dear, Pee Wee and I talked about it last week. He told me that he was going to tell Lizzie, or have some female tell her, in a nice way to fix herself up. But I didn't know he was going to do it so soon!”

“Hmph!”

“What was that grunt for?”

“Nothin', I guess.” Muh'Dear snorted and cleared her throat. “It ain't really none of my business.”

“Muh'Dear, if you are trying to say something, just go on and say it,” I ordered with a disgusted sigh.

“I ain't tryin' to say nothin'.”

“Then why are we talking about Lizzie? Is that what you called me up for?”

“I called your house last night.”

“And?”

“You was by yourself.”

“I'm by myself a lot. Where is this conversation going?”

“It was four o'clock in the mornin' and Pee Wee hadn't come home yet. You told me that yourself.”

“Pee Wee is a grown man. He can do whatever he wants to do.” As soon as I finished my last sentence I realized how stupid it sounded. I knew that my meddlesome mother was going to take those statements and run with them. And she sure did.

“He sure enough will!” she hollered. “Girl, you better watch your step if you want to keep that man. Your tooth is mighty long these days; you ain't no teenager and you don't look like Diana Ross. You got a lot of limitations.”

“Uh, Muh'Dear, my other line is ringing. Can I call you back later?”

“You comin' to have breakfast with me and your daddy this week? We got some of that beef bacon in that you like. Or maybe lunch would be better. Them catfish is jumpin' out the skillet they so anxious for somebody to see how good they taste with that new curry recipe I just started usin' today.” Muh'Dear sounded so sweet now, you would have thought that she was a different woman than the woman who'd been berating me in such a harsh voice a few moments ago.

“Not today,” I said quickly. “I'm supposed to meet Pee Wee for lunch,” I lied. “Bye!” I hung up and dialed Pee Wee's shop immediately. I was stunned when one of the two young apprentices who worked for him told me that he had taken Lizzie to lunch.

“Well, when he returns, will you tell him to call his wife, Cedric?”

“Yes, ma'am. He got your number?”

“Yes, he's got my number!” I snapped. I didn't mean to take out my frustration on poor Cedric. The boy was slow, and usually said something stupid when I called or dropped by the shop. But my mother had really gotten to me. Bless Rhoda's heart. Before I could make up my mind about calling her, she called me.

“It's Jade. That girl is drivin' me up the wall and back down the other side already,” she complained.

“What has Jade done?” I asked, glad that I wouldn't have to unload my complaint first. If I spent a few minutes listening to Rhoda rant, it would give me time to cool off.

“She's hopeless. She's useless.” Rhoda laughed. “Otis gave Vernie a high-level position down at the plant. A desk position at that, so he can go to work lookin' real dapper in a suit and tie like she wants. But that's still not good enough for Jade. She thinks the boy should be supervisin'. Can you believe that she'd think that?”

“Yes, I can…”

“Other than a few fast-food joints, he's never worked a day in his life! She's been cryin' like a baby all mornin'.” Rhoda cleared her throat, then growled under her breath. “And I'm not in the mood for it.”

“You're getting hysterical and that's not going to help.”

“I am not hysterical!” Rhoda boomed.

I waited for the dust to settle before I spoke again. “Then stop acting like it,” I suggested.

“I'm sorry. You know me. Some days I sound like a fishwife.” She added a dry laugh.

I remained as calm as I possibly could. It would have done no good for us both to be hysterical. Besides, I needed to save all of my hysterical energy for my own problems.

“Have you tried to talk to your daughter?”

“Yes, I have tried to talk to my daughter. It was like tryin' to talk to a brick wall. Her daddy's tried to talk to her, too. Her husband has tried to talk to her. Her brain is as nimble as a block of cement.”

“One good thing about it, the girl is consistent.”

“My ass! If she doesn't watch her step, I am goin' to consistently whup her ass.”

“I sure hope it doesn't come to that. Jade's a grown woman….”

“As if I'd let that stop me from beatin' some sense into her!”

It seemed like the more we talked, the more hysterical Rhoda sounded. It was hard for me to remain composed. “You want to have lunch, or meet for a drink or something so we can talk about this?” I asked.

“Only if you agree to be the designated driver for the next few days.”

I laughed. “You mean it's going to take more than one liquid lunch?”

“At least. Oh, if only Bully were here.” Rhoda's lover was in London taking care of some business. He owned some hotels, so he could afford to live a lavish lifestyle, which meant he spent a great deal of his time in the States kicking back in Rhoda's house and making love to her on a regular basis. How he managed to still be sleeping with her right up under Otis's nose was a mystery to me. Since my affair had backfired last summer, I didn't encourage Rhoda to bring hers up. But somehow we always managed to discuss cheating spouses.

“You're not going to believe what Muh'Dear tried to imply a few minutes ago.” I guffawed.

“Try me.”

“Lizzie got a makeover this morning. I haven't seen her, but Muh'Dear ran into her coming out of Claudette's beauty shop. And you know my mother; she's going crazy. Claudette must have performed a miracle on Lizzie if Muh'Dear's worried about her stealing my husband.” I guffawed again.

“Your mother said that?”

“Well, not in those exact words. But that's what she meant. Can you imagine Pee Wee with Lizzie?”

Rhoda sighed so hard it almost choked her. I was glad to know that she thought the whole idea was just as ludicrous as I did.