Glow (18 page)

After our blow out the other night, I had thought about calling my Aunt Ellen
letting her know that I messed this whole thing up. But I couldn't ruin it for
Vanessa. It's important to her and her career. I figure the best thing would be
for me to just avoid my aunt and let Vanessa deal with it all in the way that
she feels is best. I at least owe her that much with all the emotional stress I
have caused upon her.

Now, I need to get something off my chest; I've cried twice in the last week.
Sitting there alone in my dark house by myself, all I can do is think about
Vanessa and the look in her eyes as she cried. I guess my tears are more out
of anger towards myself than anything. I can't stand the thought that I hurt
her. As I cried, my internal thoughts were screaming at me for not letting her
know how I truly feel. It wasn't the right time...

“Ooh, Clueless!” Belinda smiled as she picked up the DVD case from the
shelf handing it to me. “Can we get it?”

“Ah, I think not,” I stared at the girl on the cover in her skimpy skirt looking
dense as hell. I tossed it back on the shelf. Belinda frowned and kept walking
.
Belinda of all people. I know, I know... Why? I have no reason other than
trying to get Vanessa off of my mind.

“How about this one?” I handed her Old School.

 

She stared at the cover. “Ewe, it's full of old guys,” she wrinkled her nose
throwing it on the shelf. I rolled my eyes.

 

“How about this one?” she reached in arms length picking up a pink DVD
case.

 

“Legally Blonde?”
Oh my God, why?

 

“Yeah,” she grinned.

 

I gave up. Screw it. “Sure,”

 

“Really? Yay!” she shrilled walking behind me towards the register.

We got to the checkout just to stand in a line of about six people. I placed my
hands in my jeans pockets, looking around when my heart sank. I stared at
the teddy bear sitting on the couch with Mark Wahlberg. Ted; the movie I
watched with Vanessa. I swallowed hard as I felt the knot in my throat swell
again. I blinked two, three, four times. I won't cry for a third time, I won't.

“Ben, Ben, Ben!” Belinda said excitedly from next to me.

 

“Yeah,” I said a little more rudely than I should have. I tore my eyes away
from the DVD.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” she batted her fake lashes at me.

 

Well, you didn't give me much of a choice there did you, sweet cheeks? You
just asked me one.

 

I sighed, “Yup,”

 

I could only imagine what is was that was going to come out of her mouth
next.

 

“Does the total time on the back of this movie include the previews, features,
and credits? Or is it just the movie?”

 

“Just the movie,” I clenched my teeth.

All the time I had been around Belinda between the sheets, I have never
really talked to her much. I actually wondered why sometimes... then she
speaks.

“I have a headache,” she pouted like a five year old.

“I have ibuprofen in my medicine cabinet above the sink in my bathroom,” I
tell her as I faked interest in this ridiculous movie. How dare I think that
orange is the new pink. Reese is right, I am totally disturbed.

Belinda got up with a sigh and made her way into my bathroom. I could hear
the creak of the cabinet opening.

 

“Ben?” she hollered.

 

“Yes, Belinda,” I rolled my eyes. She was seriously getting on my nerves.

 

“Why is it adults have a harder time opening childproof caps?”

 

“Match the arrows!” I yelled flinching at the sound of irritation in my voice.

 

“If the label says 'do not use if seal is broken' then how are you supposed to
use it after you open it?”

 

So God help me, I am about to strangle her...

 

Vanessa's POV

“This is considered kidnapping,” Maria grunted as she wiggled her wrists
wrapped in duct tape. Her ankles were bound to the legs of one of my dining
room chairs with a pair of my pantyhose.

“No, not really. You got in my car and came over willingly,” I reminded her
as I paced in front of her.

 

“I swore to secrecy. I can't tell you anything,” she whined.

 

“Then you sit there until you decide you can.” I walked towards my
bedroom, stopping in the hallway.

 

“I'm not saying anything!” she yelled.

 

“Oh, yes you will.” I mumbled under my breath with a mischievous smile as
I walked the rest of the way to my room.

I had said that I wasn't done with her yet, and I meant every word. When I
ended the intercom call with Ellen, Maria came back into my office. The
fidgeting of her fingers told me that she knew she was screwed. I have
worked with her for a few years and I know when she is keeping something
from me. Like the time when I had asked her if it were low-fat or fat free
milk in my coffee;

“Oh-um, fat free?” she fidgeted her fingers.

Earlier when she was standing in my office biting her lip, feet turned inward,
eye brows furrowed and oh, is that sweat on her forehead? I then knew that
she was keeping something from me.

So now here we are in my dining room.
“No, please,” she begged, her eyes closed shaking her head from side to side
vigorously.

“It's pink chiffon even,” I said sweetly as I pointed to the bride with a cheesy
grin like it's a happy freaking day.

 

“Please stop,” Maria cried as I dangled the Brides Day magazine in front of
her.

 

“Not until you tell me,” I said flipping the pages.

 

“I'm not saying anything, Vanessa. I can't! Please!” she closed her eyes
tightly and wrinkled her nose up in disgust.

 

I tossed the magazine to the floor. Next approach, alcohol. I smiled.

 

A bottle of wine and over an hour later...

 

“So, ever since then when I see a mushroom I kind of get anxiety.” she
slurred.

 

“Can I get another sip?” she smiled groggily.

 

“Oh, another sip? Of course,” I held the wine glass to her lips.

 

“I mean, don't get me wrong, mushrooms are good but when a guy leaves
that kind of impression on your head,” she laughed.

 

“I know what you mean,” I sighed. “The lasting impression Ben had on me-”

 

“Ben loves you, Vanessa,” she gasped.

 

“What?” I leaned in closer.

 

“I didn't say anything!” Maria shook her head so fast that I thought she might
vomit on herself.

 

“Another sip?” she smiled. I played stupid and gave her another drink.

 

“So, anyways, where were we-” I set the glass back down.

 

“Ben!” she interrupted again. “The player thing was all his idea!”

 

“Maria-” I tried to slow her down but she just kept talking and talking and
talking.

“He's been in love with you since you were little. He moved to Chicago and
couldn't stop thinking about you.” she took a humongous-deep breath in and
continued to speaking quickly. “He called Ellen, set up this whole article to
be around you, he loves you... and yeah,”

Whoa! What?!
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, so I
snapped it shut.

 

“Oh, God... see? I didn't want to tell you, Vanessa! Geez!” she cried out.

 

“But, my weakness is alcohol and you just had to go and give it to me.” she
dropped her chin to her chest in defeat.

 

“I don't- um,” I was speechless as I wasn't expecting any of that.

 

“Let me start from the beginning so you understand?” she smiled seeing that
I was baffled.

 

“Please,” I nodded, my eyes wide.

 

“Okay.” Maria paused for a moment then continued. “So, the night we left
Estrada's early and you stayed with Jordan...”

 

Ben McGurthy is in love with me?

 

Ben's POV

Three-quarters into this ridiculous movie, Belinda has not shut up. Every
scene she asked the most moronic questions and my head was pounding. I
looked over at her as she stared bewildered at the flat screen; her head tilted,
brows furrowed, and her lips pursed.

Three... two... one...

“In court, why do they even bother to ask you to swear to tell the truth? I
mean, it's not like if you're planning to lie you will just, like, let them know
it.” she huffed.

I groaned. “That is why, Belinda, they make you place your hand on the
Bible and swear under oath. Then if you lie, you are held in contempt of
court,” I rubbed my temples with my eyes closed.

“Why would they hold you in contempt if they have jail cells?” she held her
hand out towards the flat screen.

“What hospital is it you work at again?” I needed to make a mental note
never to be seen there. I would wear a medical bracelet stating I refused
health care at that facility.

“Why? You want to surprise me while I'm at work don't you?” she cooed
pinching my cheek.

 

“Something like that,” I sighed as I stood up. “Well, I'm calling it a day, I am
exhausted.”

 

“Why are you calling it a day? It's night time,”

I was about to rage. I couldn't take this anymore.
“Did you finish elementary school?” I turned around. “No, wait. Did you
even go to school?”

“Yeah, silly. Why?” she smiled twirling her finger in her curls completely
oblivious to my questions.

“It's just you-” I stopped and ran my fingers through my hair out of pure
frustration. I needed to stop, take a breath and re-think my words through
before I said something to hurt her. For shit sakes, I can't help it.

“Belinda...look. You think Taco Bell is a phone company. You went to the
dentist for a Bluetooth. I mean, you will stare at orange and apple juice
cartons for hours because it says concentrate on the front.”

“Right,” she was still smiling. “You do that, too. Don't you, Ben?”

 

A growl erupted from my throat. “Just, this isn't going to work,” I dropped
my hands to my sides.

 

“I know, silly. Work for me is at the hospital, not here.” she rolled her eyes
then smiled at me.

I lost it walking over to her grabbing her gently by the hands helping her off
of my couch. I stood behind her with my hands on her back, moving her
along towards the front door.

“Oh, a surprise? Should I close my eyes?” she giggled.

 

“Nope, not a surprise,” I gave her a light shove through the door and
slammed it behind her.

 

Knock, knock, knock.
“Ben!” she sang.

 

I paced the living room back and fourth with my fingers gripping at my
blonde mess.

 

Oh my God, go away! Please just go away... for the sake of my sanity.

 

“Benny!” she whined.

 

I took my fingers from my hair now biting my nails.

 

Buzz... buzz.

 

I pulled my phone out of my pocket with the high hopes of it being Vanessa,
it was Maria.

 

“Yeah,” I sighed into the phone.

 

“Ben! Thank God you answered. Vanessa knows everything,” she said
frantically.

 

“She what?” This is not happening. “You told her?”

 

“Benny!”
Knock, knock, knock.

 

“Is that someone pounding on your door? Who is that?” Maria asked.

 

“No one, Maria. You told her?” I sighed.

“I didn't just tell her, okay? It involved some duct tape, pantyhose, and if I
look at another pink chiffon wedding gown I will gouge my eyes out with my
finger nails,” she hiccuped. Vanessa gave her alcohol, fantastic. “And if I
even see another glass of Pinot I will vomit,”

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped. “Oh, yeah?”

 

“Yes, but that's really not why I am calling you, Ben,” she slurred. “She is on
her way to meet Jordan for dinner,”

 

Jordan? She was meeting Jordan for dinner after knowing how I feel about
her?

 

“She doesn't care,” I said quietly staring at the flat screen as I plopped down
onto the couch.

“Yes she does. She is scared, Ben. We are talking about Vanessa here,”
Maria laughed. “The one person in this world who thought that love,
relationships, and happiness do not exist.”

“What am I supposed to do now? She's with Jordan,” I shrugged.

 

“Ben!” Belinda sang again.

 

“Seriously, who the hell is that? Tell whoever it is to shut the hell up, she is
making my head pound,” Maria whined.

 

“Maria, focus,” I said sternly.

 

“Right, sorry.” she paused. “They were supposed to have dinner at Jordan's
but decided to go out instead,”

 

“Where did they go?” I jumped to my feet.

 

“Oh-uh, that's the thing-”

 

“What thing, Maria?” I was getting impatient.

 

“You are going to freak when I tell you,” she said lowly.

I sat back down onto my couch, squinting my eyes waiting for her to say this
one name. The one place that only select males and females know about. The
entrance to this place in a dark secluded alley off of 165th street. The place
where drinks, touching, and kissing amongst couples are the attraction;
Swingers.

“I tried to tell her, Ben-”
“Where did he take her?” I asked, anger flooding my veins. If he took her
there, I will kill him.

“Swingers,” her voice echoed through the phone.

 

“Son of a bitch!” I grit my teeth as I hung up the phone.

 

I ran out my front door towards my car.

 

“Benny! Where are you going?” Belinda yelled from behind me.

 

“Go home!” I yelled as I hopped in my Beamer, screeching the tires as I back
out of my driveway.

 

I gassed it through Manhattan. “I am going to kill him,” I mumbled.

The tires squealed as I turned left, right, then left again onto 165th street. I
saw a few people standing in the alley in front of the door to Swingers. I felt
my heart pounding as I threw the car in park.

I got out of my car, slammed the door closed behind me and ran across the
street and down the alley way.

 

“No partner, no entry,” the big-burly guy with a black leather vest on placed
his hands on my chest.