Glimmer (4 page)

Even when I'm not at a particular Refuge to hold the service, everyone gathers in the Haven where my harnessed Light is streamed brightly for them. My light has the same effect on the people at the Refuge when I'm not there.

Unless I can figure out a way to replicate my ability, there is no way I can leave The Light forever. There is no way I can leave so many people stranded, in harm's way. Without the resource I give both mentally and physically.

I scan the Haven as I walk out, and I know the truth deep in my heart. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

CHAPTER FOUR

Lucy

I wake with Timid sleeping, cradled in my arms. Jax stands at the door; he doesn't look like he slept at all last night. In that, I feel his pain. My sleep was haunted by ghosts of my past. Apple blossoms covered me in my hollow sleep, while I dreamt of lying under the compound tree clutching my mother's hand, begging her to wake.

I'd rather be awake in misery then to sleep in agony. Timid yawns against my shoulder, then squints as she takes in her surroundings. This will be a bigger shock to her than me. I've had more time to acclimate to the idea of leaving the Refuge. For Timid, she woke yesterday believing she would spend her entire life walking up and down that great hallway. And now we're in a small room, guarded by a man as unlike a Humbleman as possible. I haven't decided if that's a good or bad thing.

Jax has black hair past his shoulders that falls on the leather jacket he's wearing. He looks what I imagine a rock star to be. Mom used to tell me about the concerts she went to when she was younger, and I can imagine a guy like Jax headlining a band no Humbleman would be caught dead singing in.

"You need to get up, I'm moving you out of this RV," Jax tells us. We obediently do as we're told. I revert to my old pattern of following orders. It seems old habits die hard no matter how fast I want to lose them. Timid, on the other hand, has never questioned doing anything other than what was commanded of her.

"Where are we going?" I ask. Anywhere to get me closer to seeing Charlie.

"The courtyard, follow me."

We head through the door and into a grassy yard surrounded by small trailers tucked side-by-side, forming a circle. There's no exit, just a giant circle of these giant rectangular boxes. They all have circular holes on the bottom where it looks like wheels once sat, holding the boxes above the ground.  I register that these are RV's, just like Jax said. Recreational Vehicle. A sort of house on wheels, except these don't have any. Dad told me how his parents used to travel in one of these after they retired. It makes sense now, the kitchen in the trailer we slept in ... these used to be people's homes.

I guess, still
are
people's homes. I see a few dozen people edgily moving around, all with guns slung around their backs, like Charlie wore when I saw him last. Dressed like Jax, in gear I remember seeing the cowboys wearing when they passed through at the compound. It seems like people are just waking up, but everyone's on high alert. I'm sure it has everything to do with Timid and me being led through their turf.

There are equal amounts of girls and guys, but I don't see any children here. Everyone looks about my age; Reagan's the oldest person by far. A fire is alive in the middle of the courtyard, with something cooking over the flame in a big copper pot. It smells burnt, but still my stomach rumbles, reminding me how badly I need to eat.

Timid must have heard the growling because her lips curl up on the sides, as close to a smile as she can muster.  I'm sure she's hungry too. She's always up before me, already having eaten and ready to serve me with breakfast in bed. I don't want to ask Jax about food now though, I already feel as though us being here is disrupting a balance in this group's ecosystem. All eyes are on us as we walk through the grass. Jax leads us straight across the yard to a chain-linked fence.

A cell.

"Both of you, in here." He unlatches the gate and opens it wide for us. "Don't think about doing anything stupid … remember what I told you last night? Everyone here is armed and ready for battle. If you think your people are coming to get you, you're wrong. It would have been impossible to make it here last night without help and we're going to find whoever helped you. You'll regret it when we do."

I smile despite my best intentions not to. This group doesn't believe two girls could make it all the way here from The Light on their own. But we did. They think we're decoys to infiltrate their camp and distract them. But they're wrong. No one crossed the Sound with us.

Sure, we had help, but the help we had is nothing like they imagine. They won't find the light from Lukas that helped keep us warm, or the light within me that helped lead us along in the dark.

"It's not funny. You girls don't know what you’re up against. I'm just sorry The Light used you like this as their pawns."

My jaw clenches at the use of the word
pawn
.

"I'm no one's pawn." I nearly spit at Jax.

"Easy, there. I'm not here to fight with you; I'm just doing my job. And my job is to keep you detained. Got it?"

I don't give him the satisfaction of an answer. Instead, I pull Timid with me as I walk inside the cell. At least it's a chain-link fence so we can still see everything going on around us. Jax shuts the gate behind us and clicks a padlock into place.

He walks away, towards the fire pit. I hope he plans on bringing us some food. He begins talking with a group of people, all glaring at us. As if we're their enemies. But we're not the bad guys, we're two exhausted girls, besides what could we do? Looking at Timid, I know the half a loaf of bread she had last night wasn't enough to regain her strength. Especially when she's on sensory overload.

It's a full-fledged fall morning in early-October. A gust of wind sweeps through the camp, and goose bumps rise on the surface of my skin. Timid and I are still in our gowns and aren't used to being outside like this.

The Refuge, and the compound I grew up in, kept us far from the seasons changing weather. It was always a moderate temperature in the compound. And The Light was always warm, thanks to Lukas. Standing out here in the wide-open air, I rub my hands for heat. It's still early in the morning, the sun hasn't made its way very high in the sky yet, and I wonder if when it does I'll even see it. Grey clouds hang dangerously low, threatening rain. I've never been outside in rain before, but I know enough to know it will only cause problems. The people around us, sitting on benches, laughing as they lop food up from silver platters, are all wearing long pants and coats. Warm. I would give anything to at least have a pair of socks on my feet.

Jax grabs two tin plates and ladles brown mush onto each of them from the pot hanging over the fire pit. He pulls a knife out of his waist and slices off two hunks of meat from the animal roasting over the dull embers. He carries them over to us and sets them on the ground as he uses a key to unlock the gate.

"Here you go." He looks us over again, and pauses on Timid. "You okay? You don't look so good. I can't have anyone falling over dead on my watch." He isn't particularly gentle with what he says, and Timid retreats farther away from him, nearly curling into herself. I look at her though, and see her lips are blue, and the wind causes her long blond hair to circle around her. She looks like a ghost, her skin nearly translucent. I've never noticed it before so distinctly, because everyone on the Refuge has pale skin from never being exposed to the elements. But I can see now how being outside is genuinely shocking her system.

"Once she eats she'll be better," I snap, not wanting to say anymore. If they're going to put us on lock-down for coming here, I'm not going to volunteer any information about who we are. Or where we've been. I grab the plates from the ground and close the gate myself, leaving the locking us in to Jax.

"Even so, I'll bring you some blankets. I'm not an evil dictator, I'm just doing my job." He shakes his head as he walks away.

Shame fills me, I was more concerned with my pride than taking care of Timid. If I'm supposed to be her caregiver I should be thinking of her first, me second. Thankfully, Jax brings us over some blankets and opens the door handing them to us. I nod my head in appreciation, but don't meet his eyes. I'm too ashamed.

Timid and I sit down in the dirt, with heavy blankets draped over our legs and shoulders. With all eyes on us, we begin eating the food that's nowhere as good as the food at The Light. I can't help but wonder what we're doing here. Doubt creeps in again. Should we have left?

But either way, I suppose, we were locked up. Only this cell is much smaller than the Refuge and Lukas isn't here to help.

From where I'm sitting, everything is in my hands.

Lukas

I head to the Energy Room after the service to meet Head Councilman Conviction. Before this morning, I hadn't seen him in a few months, and I know he's going to press me for what really happened with the power outage. But that isn't what I want to talk to him about.

All I need from him is permission to go to Refuge Two. Immediately.

As soon as I can get there, I can find Grace, Timid's closest friend. And Basil, a girl Lucy feels obligated to help, for reasons I don't entirely understand. All I know is if it's important to Lucy, it's important to me. I have to believe Lucy knew what she was asking of me when she told me I had to get them before I left for her and my parents.

The Energy Room is the best place for a private meeting. It's the same at every Refuge, the Energy Room is my closest thing to an office. Vessels and Humbleman never set foot in them, and the Councilmen only do when they have a concern to discuss with me.  Which is rare. But for me, the Energy Rooms are where I've spent half of my life. They are rooms built because of my parents scientific skills, and were customized for my body. Although it's hard to believe anyone had me in mind when the rooms were created.

I walk down the steps, passing my bedroom door but stop before I enter the Energy Room, now brightly lit from my work the night before. Head Councilman Conviction sits in my chair. The chair I'm strapped to each night as my electric charge is drawn. His eyes are closed and his arms rest on the cushions. He doesn't acknowledge me entering the room and silently I stand, watching him with mounting anger.  He has such nerve to sit on the chair where I sacrifice my life. He doesn't have to say he wishes it were he in the power seat, it's clear that's how he feels with the smirk resting on the corners of his mouth.

"Conviction," I say, quietly breaking the silence.

"Nobleman. The service went well I assume? No one beat you down for the power outage? All is forgiven?" He keeps his eyes closed, still seated in my chair.

"No one said a word, if they are thinking something no one is telling me."

"They would never come to you with their concerns. You are their idol."

"I don't think the Vessels would voice their concerns with anyone, Conviction. I've learned a lot of troubling things since I arrived here. Things you need to know." I take a deep breath, not wanting to relive the horror of the hall of 'dark rooms', but knowing Conviction needs to know the truth.

"It is none of your concern, Nobleman."

"I think it is though, the punishments happening here are torturous. I don't think you understand." I shake my head to myself. Conviction still chooses to keep his eyes closed tight. Closed against the truth.

"I know exactly what's going on. It's the only way to control the women at this place, and their children. It's always been this way, but you've been too sheltered to see it. But you're finally growing up, I heard about you getting caught with that girl of yours in her room." Conviction laughs, and opens one eye at me, as if a wink will explain his position.

"I wasn't ... Lucy was ... I never thought...." The words stumble out. I don't want to begin discussing Lucy with him, I want to talk about the abuse and getting to Refuge Two.

"Relax, son. I meant it as a compliment. If you are finally ready to settle down with a Vessel, maybe you will begin to see things in a new way, begin to understand what we are
really doing
here at The Light. You'll like what you see, I promise."

Conviction finally opens both his eyes and looks down at my tightly clenched fists. He threw a curve ball at me I wasn't expecting.

"What will I see?" I ask, hoping any information will help me understand my power better.

"Have patience. Right now I need something else, are you going to tell me what really happened with this power outage and this Lucy girl?

I don't want to tell him about her. I don't want him to know how much she means to me, how I will do anything to be with her. I don't want that information used against me. And I know it will. I remember myself as a seven year-old, sitting in the Energy Room telling Conviction how I was too tired to work that night. He told me if I wanted my mother to live I needed to stop crying and do my job.

Or another time, when I was five, Charlie wanted to play. I couldn't because I had been in the chair all night and needed to lie down and rest. I told Conviction that night how I wanted to work less so I could play with my brother. He told me Charlie would starve to death if I didn't give enough energy to The Light.

He drove fear into me every day, with threats against people I cared about. I won't let him do that with Lucy, instead I will lie to protect her. I hope pretending she is nothing to me will give her more time to get help for all the people at the Refuges.

"She has nothing to do with the outage. And she must have been mentally insane to run off in the night. She probably drowned with that helper of hers. Or got hypothermia."

"So your announcing to the Refuge that you were being Bound to her, and you being with her in her room, that was...?" He looks at me, squinting his eyes, as if searching for the truth that way works better.