Glimmer (14 page)

Junie walks into the house, cheerfully smiling. She cleaned up, her short hair still wet from what I'm guessing was a shower and she has on a clean set of clothes, all black once again.

"You wanna take a tour, Timid? The barn is full of animals I bet you've never seen. The bulls even have rings through their noses. Just like me!"

Timid starts laughing, the girl who sat on the bed upstairs confessing her motives is gone. I'm grateful.

"Here, take a cornmeal muffin," Layla says, handing her breakfast. They walk out, Junie leading the way.

I sit down at the kitchen table, as Layla places a muffin in front of me, and then sets down a jar of honey. My mind continues to spin. I get the trailers full of the teens like Junie and Colton being houses, and people patrolling the property makes sense for security, and of course they need animals and vegetable gardens -- but where is the actual Headquarters? What is happening here?

"I keep hearing about Headquarters. Where is it? I guess I assumed it would be more scientific or something ... I mean, don't me wrong, this house is great, but it's like an organic farm from 2015, before the end. It's so different then the Energy Room you created...." I take a sip of the warm coffee, it spreads throughout me and sits in my gut. This doesn't feel right.

"I see how this could be confusing. But this is Ernie’s and my house, and we're the sort of guardians for all the kids out there in the trailers. Most of the young people don't have families, and when they join us, we provide them a home, a sense of security."

"Where is the actual Headquarters, then?"

"Behind the farmhouse there's a barn ... Look, it's not that we don't trust you...." She stops talking and takes a deep breath.

I shake my head, frustrated. "You just don't trust me." I'm no closer to understanding this place, the purpose. It just seems like a bunch of teenagers carrying around rifles, hanging out at bonfires. No one's working on anything, it's like a free-for-all.

"A lot of the people who work with us have never even been to the Headquarters. It's not personal."

"Then what was the
Safe House
I went to? Do those people work with you?"

"The
Safe House
aren't what it once was. It was built before Ernie and I ever made it out of The Light. Ernie's father lived here, at this house for years. Before the end. He's a scientist too. Once the virus began to spread, he decided to start the Coalition of Cowboys. That's what he called it. And his network set up the
Safe Houses
, they were assigned to patrol the Peninsula, and smaller outposts were placed around. The purpose was good -- is good. But we've lost control of those outposts. They were intended to patrol perimeters, bring in anyone who needed shelter, and work together on the same team ... but...."

"But the people who ran them wanted control." I finish for her, knowing this story all too well. The men in power wanted to dominate. 

"Right."

I don't say anything else, I'm so disappointed. My jaw tightens as I absorb what she's said. Basically, I've come all this way, left Lukas to fend for himself, for what? More campfire dances and coffee around a kitchen table? Lukas would never agree to come here for what is basically a life of leisure because he'd never willingly let the Vessels and children at the Refuges go without power, food, resources for them to play.

Charlie and Ernie walk in, and I can't help but feel relief to see Charlie and take some heat off Layla and me. He saved my tail last night at the party, we left right after the harmonica playing. I was exhausted, and he could tell. I didn't say much as he walked me back to the house, and it didn't feel like I needed too.

"Good morning, ladies," Ernie says, oblivious to the uncomfortable conversation between his wife and me. "We saw Timid on our way in. She looked happy as a clam. Have you ever seen Junie so happy, either?" Ernie asks Layla.

"Never. She's had a hard life, it's nice to see her smile."

"Everyone here has had a hard life, Mom," Charlie says, coolly.

"I know, Charlie, I wasn't wanting to get into a fight," Layla says defensively. "It's just nice, is all.

"Sure. But she doesn't even want to stay, did you know that?" Charlie continues, "Her and Colton want out, lots of people are talking about the
Safe House
, how Reagan's out of control." 

I let out a harsh laugh. "Well, that's an understatement. They held Timid and me at gunpoint, then locked us in a cell, and then the drunk guy went off on Colton. That place is not exactly ‘safe.’" I roll my eyes, blowing hot air out of my cheeks.

Charlie laughs and Ernie and Layla join in.

"What?" I say, defensively. I wasn't intending to be funny.

"It's just, that's the way Lukas always got. Animated, angry, annoyed. I see you in him." Layla has pools of tears in the corner of her eyes. I don't know if they are born from the laughter or the remembering.

I remember, too. Lukas and I can fight like nobody's business. Everything would give us a reason to argue. I thought it was because of the stress at The Light, but maybe it was more about our dispositions.

"Lucy, can you tell us more about what brought you here? And what we can do to get our boy back?" Ernie says, gently.

I nod my head yes, smiling. Relieved to finally be getting to the reason. The reason I am here.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Lukas

Perfection holds tightly to my arm as the boat launches off the dock. She hasn't let go of her grip on me since the moment I told her to be patient. I feign a need to rest, wanting to sneak below deck to read more of Integrity's journal.

"But come back fast, okay? I'm lonely."

With my jaw set in a tight line, I nod my head yes, pushing away my feelings on the matter. I don't want to upset her while the Humbleman driving the boat watches.

I settle down in an uncomfortable wooden bench, with a slight hum from the boat echoing around me. I try to block out the noise and pick up where I left off. I open the book that is still in my tunic pocket and begin reading Integrity's sharp-edged handwriting. It's as though his voice is speaking directly to me,

I met Lucy today. She came in after her test in the great room. Her test results were unusual, and so was her response to the Council. She seemed surprised and confused as to why she was singled out. She claims to never have heard of The Light, but she knows so much for a girl sheltered as she says to have been all her life.

She appeared agitated and offended by us questioning her answers. It wasn't until I welcomed her into the fold that she calmed. She said coming here was her 'deliverance'. When asked why she said it so hallowed she responded with,

"I just said the truth. My truth, now. Before I had nothing, and now, now I have honey and blueberries and a person partnered to help me. And hopefully a future. Here."

Watching her leave I had an overwhelming sense of purpose. Her purpose. As a member of The Light.

I close the book. Lucy felt so good about joining. If Integrity's account is true, she wanted a future here, at least before things went so badly with Basil, Hana, and her mom.  I wish it were cut and dried for me, that I knew which way to turn, what to choose. But life isn't like that. Life is complicated. And it seems as though the more I hear from Integrity, from our conversations and now from this journal, everything grows more blurred.

I am ready for some clarity.

Lucy

"So, you and Lukas are in love and you want help to free him, but still help The Light, and somehow also help some other girls who are locked in the Looney Bin escape," Charlie says warily. "Meanwhile you don't have any ideas of how to do that -- although you did manage to get away, which is pretty hardcore. Is that basically the summary?"

"Yes. Except Lukas is planning an escape of his own. He was thinking after he gets Basil and Hana, then they can come here together, and maybe before he leaves, he could like ... umm ... do a short-term energy boost for the Refuges, so he can leave for a while." I shake my head. It sounds so foolish when I lay it out like that.

"You think we're idiots don't you?" I ask, them. My coffee is cold, I've been sitting at this kitchen table laying out my story for a solid hour.

"Not idiots. I just don't think you’re understanding what you're up against. What do you think we've been doing all these years?" Ernie asks me.

"Lukas thought you were just off leading your lives without him." I see Layla flinch. "But I told him you loved him and were probably trying to figure out a way to help get him back."

"See, you're no fool," Ernie says gently. "That's exactly what we've been trying to do."

"Except," chimes in Layla.

"Except what?"

"Except we haven't gotten very far. We're no closer today then we were years ago. The only difference is we have more bodies, more ammunition, more people ready to fight." Layla drops her hands in her lap, trounced.

"And we're losing people to the
Safe House
. I'm telling you, Mom and Dad, Reagan kicked me out, and now Colton too. Junie and Colton are deserting this whole thing. They aren't the only ones sick of waiting. That means we don't have as many as we once did." Charlie shakes his head. It's clear he's been trying to tell his parents this for a while now, but no one listens.

"But we can get them back. Especially if we have a new plan."

"But we don't." Charlie throws up his hands in defeat. "That's the problem. The same run around."

Layla turns to Ernie, biting her lip. "Can't you get your father to come down here and join us for this conversation?"

"Your father?" I ask, my confusion mounting by the moment.

"He hasn't come out of the Headquarters for ages. He breathes, eats, and sleeps in there. He isn't interested in coming out now. Charlie and I were just up there this morning trying to get him to come meet Lucy."

"He's the one who started this whole thing, the Cowboy Coalition?" I ask Layla.

"Yes. But he's become a recluse ... he thinks we're running some commune or something down here, he isn't interested in being a part of it."

So besides all the drama surrounding leaving Lukas to fend for himself, they also have a mad scientist in the family. Great, I've been down this road before, and all it leads to is empty hope and broken promises. Half-truths and downright lies.

Remembering Forest at the compound, his relentless research, searching for meaning where there was none, my stomach sinks. Forest focused on finding an explanation, some sort of absolution for the death of the man he loved. But there wasn't any. Because death happens. Sickness happens. We can't always find answers even if we're desperate for them. Even if we're willing to sacrifice everything to find them.

I can't think about the past, I need to forge my future.

"What is it you need?" I ask.

"We have all the technology rigged. If it worked as we hoped, we could operate a motorized boat and have some real advantage over The Light in an attack. We have sourced equipment from dilapidated power plants; the cowboys have helped scavenge to get everything we need. And along with Ernie’s and my research, we've created a system that we believe will work."

"But?"

"We need an energy source. Some way to boot up, or restart the failed one."

I look at her wide-eyed.

I have a hunch on how we can restart it.

Me.

Lukas

We're welcomed off the boat with the same fanfare we were greeted with when we arrived at Refuge One. Vessels have lined up across the dock, singing songs in unison. Perfection smiles as she takes in all the glory that surrounds our arrival. She was born for this sort of entrance. I can't help but notice the Vessels appear somber, their eyes focused on the ground instead of my Light. Their voices falter as the Councilmen walk past them to greet us. I realize they've always looked this way, I was just too naive to understand why. Now I know, they live in a constant state of terror.

We make our way into the Refuge, this one is larger than then the other two, and unique in the fact that it's divided into three separate buildings. One building is the Rehabilitation Center where the mentally fragile reside, doing mind-numbing tasks while heavily medicated. I'm guessing Basil is there. Another one is the Sanitation Center, where the waste and garbage is recycled and disposed, and eventually repurposed. My guess is that Hana's there.

The last building holds the Haven, the great room, and then all the living and eating quarters. The members of The Light's fold that live here walk between buildings several times a day.

This is the only Refuge that allows outside access to everyone, but the reasoning is the people who live here are already so broken that they can handle it. Being exposed to the elements of light and darkness doesn't affect them anymore because they're already too long gone. But now I believe the Councilmen want to keep everyone locked up because it won't give anyone ideas of escaping, ideas of a bigger, brighter world. If everyone remains indoors then they never consider what lies beyond.

The Vessels who are allowed on the boats when we get new recruits are only allowed to do so for show. So that our image remains powerful -- not to the people living on the outside -- for the Vessels who come back to the Refuges reporting how magnificent we are, how good we are at protecting our borders.

Perfection's bright blue eyes grow as she takes it all in, the Vessel's bowing to us as we pass, the ringing voices of the white-robed choir lining the expansive marble hall. A Councilman says little as he leads us to our chamber room. He doesn't know me well, and that puts me at ease, as once again I'm grateful Head Councilmen hasn't travelled with us. Less eyes watching me the better.

"I'm sure the trip has tired you, we'll be having a late-afternoon reception for you in the great room, then we will have a service in the Haven this evening," the Councilman explains. "We're hoping you will release some extra light. Morale's been low, with slow production among the Vessels, and we need amplified energy."

"Of course. And then tonight I will be in the Energy Room, correct?"

"Yes, before you continue on your way tomorrow for the rest of your Refuge Processional."

"Tomorrow, we're leaving so soon?" I ask, surprised. If we're required to leave tomorrow that means we have to escape
today
. I wasn't expecting such a tight timeline, I was hoping I'd have a least a few days to scout out the place before I made my move.

"Yes, Head Councilman Conviction explained your
desire
... we want to help you in that end however we can." He smiles smugly at me, as though we are in on an inside joke. Word travels fast when it has to do with Vessels and their submission.

"If you don't mind, before our meal I'd like to show Perfection the Refuge. She's never travelled, and I want her to see where I have spent so much of my time, especially since we'll only be here for one day." I smile curtly at the Councilman.

"Of course, of course, you have free rein here. As long as you source us extra light tonight -- joking, joking." He laughs, but I know it's no joke. I know what requirements are forced on me.

Once inside our room, I begin to pace, with no time to lose, I don't know where to begin.

"What are you so on edge about, Nobleman? It appears as though everyone is happy we're here. The Vessels even got to go outside to sing to us in greeting, they must be thrilled."

She has no clue how The Light works, what this Refuge does. She's probably never even questioned where her moccasin slippers are made, or where her toilet paper comes from. I watch as she studies herself in the mirror for a moment, examining her face closely, oblivious to the truth about this Refuge. Oblivious to the truth of The Light.

"Is there a soaking room here? My skin is dying for a good soak." She flops down on the bed, apparently distracted enough by the thought of a steam room that she's forgotten about my anxiety.

"Yes, there is, but we ... I need ... can you listen for a moment? I have something important to say."

This piques her interest. She rolls over on the bed and props herself up with her arms, cupping her chin in her hands.

"What? Is it exciting?"

"Err ... more like complicated."

"Okay ... what?" Her eyes are so bright and eager, I instantly regret even mentioning anything. She's going to freak when I fill her in on the state of our Binding. I can't do this to her, not yet. I need to find Basil and Hana first.

"Actually, why don't you go to the soaking tubs? You deserve it. Besides, I feel like taking a walk."

"That sounds perfect. But you could join me in the tub, you know?"

I dismiss that thought quickly, with a quick shake of my head.

"Fine, but you have to tell me the important thing later, promise?" She stands up and poised on her tiptoes, she kisses my nose.

"Promise."

I lead her to the soaking room, where a helper greets us, apparently a Vessel's been assigned to Perfection for our short stay. I've always felt stiff and awkward when a helper's been assigned to me, but Perfection gracefully accepts the assistance.

"Meet me back in our chamber in an hour, alright? We'll go to the reception together."

This makes her smile, as though me making these arrangements is a date. I'm just relieved to be able to find Basil on my own. On my own terms.

I walk down the hall, smiling at the Vessels I pass. They momentarily glance at me, but quickly turn their heads to the ground. Guilt flushes though me, and I try to compensate by streaming more of light within me, out. I know the Vessels here are worked ragged. How dare the Councilman suggest they have “low morale” when in fact they probably frequent the dark rooms more than anyone else. When Lucy and I helped the Vessels escape, when we tried to find her mother, I glimpsed what those rooms do to a person’s psyche.

I push open heavy double doors, leading to the Work and Sanitary Center's main office. Now is my chance to find Hana and find out if she's seen her sister Basil. I hope she has, because I don't even know what Basil looks like. I'm on a man-hunt for a girl I've never even met.

"Nobleman." An older Vessel named Care, with grey hair and gentle eyes, bows deeply to me as I enter the office. Another Vessel is seated at a desk a few feet away that has a sign with her name on it, “Vessel Sanctify.” She studiously continues her work without pause. "It's an honor to see you, it's been a long time since you've visited the Center. I want to offer my congratulations to you on your Binding." She reaches her hands around mine, and grasps them tightly. It isn't a gesture many Vessels would feel comfortable doing, but Care has been around forever it seems, and always has a grandmotherly look in her eyes when I see her.