Give Me You (33 page)

M
y entire life I’ve been able to tell when something bad was coming. Or maybe I had ulcers and a constant sense of something foreboding because of my mom’s occupation. Either way, it’s been a while since I’ve felt like the ground was about to be ripped out from beneath me. I feel it now, though, as Skylar and I walk hand in hand into his family’s sprawling mansion.

Fallon Kensington is dead. I didn’t know her well, having just met her once, but from what Skylar told me years ago, I wasn’t exactly her biggest fan. Between that and the jealousy, I’m plagued by a strange type of guilt regarding all things Fallon.

Why would someone so beautiful and successful need drugs to be happy? It’s not a question I can answer not having known her. Skylar said there were some things in her childhood that she struggled to come to terms with and that I can relate to.

We step into the foyer and a woman I’ve never met hugs Skylar tightly. She’s an attractive blonde Skylar introduces as his mom’s assistant Dee. We nod in greeting and are led into the dining area where Katie and Mrs. Martin are seated. Several bottles of red wine adorn the table. Odd, since I thought Skylar’s mom quit drinking, but apparently grief is like an alcoholic cheat day.

Skylar’s mom makes a strangled sound at the sight of him before launching herself into his arm. His wide eyes meet mine. Neither of his parents are particularly affectionate so this is new.

Katie gives me a hug and congratulates me on law school. I thank her and tell her I’m sorry to hear about Fallon. At which point, her face twists in to a mask that I can only describe as half sadness half anger.

“Come, sit,” Skylar’s mom tell us. We follow, but she looks at me strangely before turning to her son. “Skylar, you might want to ask Corin to give us a few minutes. This is sort of a private matter and—”

“And she’s as much my family as anyone sitting here,” he tells her blatantly.

Oh, awesome. Nothing like being awkwardly uninvited to a conversation to make an already uncomfortable situation worse. I twitch in my seat.

“I could go—”

“You’re fine,” Skylar says to me before turning to his mom. “Corin knows about Fallon’s issues, about how she died. She’s not going to go blab to the local papers.”

His mom levels him with a stare that would melt me where I sit. “Very well, then.”

She starts to open an envelope with trembling hands. But Katie stops her.

“Mom, how about you let me tell him?” She smiles kindly at her mom and then at both of us.

My head is spinning.

Mrs. Martin nods and retrieves her half empty glass of wine.

Katie smiles warmly at both of us before she begins.

“Sky, remember when we were kids and we climbed the neighbor’s fence to swim in their pool?”

Skylar’s brow wrinkles in confusion. “Yeah, I guess. But I don’t see what that has to do with—”

“And you fell in the deep end,” she continues. “And you wouldn’t yell for help because you didn’t want to get us in trouble?”

Skylar nods. “You screamed bloody murder, though, until Mr. Walker came and pulled my little ass out.”

Katie lets out a small laugh. “You were four years old. I remember thinking you were going to drown and it was going to be all my fault.”

Skylar sighs, clearly ready for her to get to the point. “But I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t,” she agrees. “But I always felt guilty about goading you into climbing that fence. And I feel that same type of guilt for introducing you to Fallon when we were teenagers. I thought…well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. But watching you try to help her with her addictions and demons was like watching you drown all over again. Only this time I couldn’t yell for help. All I could do was hope she didn’t drag you down with her. While I’m sorry that she’s gone, I can’t say I’m sorry you distanced yourself from her.”

I hadn’t known Katie had introduced them. A lump forms in my throat from the realization that Katie is hurting as much if not more than Skylar is.

Skylar nods. “I understand. But I’m a big boy and I made my choices. I can live with them and no one else is to blame. So is anyone going to tell me why I’m persona non grata at her funeral?”

Katie takes the envelope her mother was holding with shaky hands just moments ago. “Did you know Fallon had a son? Christian?”

Skylar’s head jerks back in a way that clearly indicates he didn’t. “No. Since when?”

“Since three years ago,” Katie says evenly. “He just turned three in March. He lives with her parents. She went into rehab to cover the pregnancy and so she could stay clean while carrying him. They kept it quiet so as not to damage her career.”

Skylar’s body is rigid beside mine. Except for the movement of the thick knot in his throat when he swallows, he is completely still.

“Christian Andrew Kensington,” Katie says softly as she pulls a photo and a letter from the envelope.

I glance down and am met by the smiling face of an adorable little cherub. His curly dark hair and hazel eyes are familiar.

Because they belong to the man sitting beside me.

I haven’t touched the wine but the room is spinning and I feel like I might be sick. I can’t look at Skylar. Or his mom. Or Katie. I can’t look anywhere.

I close my eyes and feel a tear escape one of them.

I knew when he said he’d seen her once in Brazil that there was more to it. Apparently a lot more. But I thought I could let it go. It was years ago.

This…this is a child. A permanent reminder of what must’ve happened between them. My hand goes numb and I realize Skylar is squeezing it hard enough to hurt.

“Skylar,” I whisper, disentangling my fingers from his. “Breathe.”

His jaw ripples with tension.

“So this is my son?” He stumbles over the words, pointing to the picture without really looking at it. His pain washes over me and I’m torn between wanting to absorb some of it for him and wanting to run far and fast from the entire ordeal to alleviate my own.

“According to the letter,” Katie answers. “It arrived the day after we heard she’d passed. It was addressed to me but the letter was for you. I guess she didn’t know how else to reach you. I’m sorry I read it, but with the picture, I couldn’t stop myself. Does the timing make sense? Of the pregnancy I mean?”

Skylar nods almost imperceptibly.

“You should probably read it, Sky,” I say softly. “Might help.”

He turns to me and I can see that he’s broken. At a loss for answers or explanations, he looks helpless and I understand why Katie made the comparison to him drowning.

I force a smile even though it feels like the slightest breeze would shatter me into a million pieces. “We can talk about the rest later, but he’s a child, Sky. And he’s alive in the world, and you deserve to know the truth.”

“So do you,” he chokes out. “God, Corin, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to—”

“Read the letter, Skylar. Then we can talk.”

He nods and turns his attention to the piece of paper covered in cursive blue ink. It’s written on hotel stationary—I’m guessing the hotel where she died. Fallon Kensington clearly knew how to make an entrance and an exit.

While Skylar reads in silence, Katie pins me with a smile and eyes full of sympathy. His mom pours another glass of wine and I’m tempted to join her.

Time slows to a crawl as we wait for Skylar to finish but it’s two pages front and back. He flips the last one over and sighs as if he’s just been handed the weight of the world.

The room is so quiet I can hear the blood rushing in my ears.

“She says he is my son. And she was scared and didn’t know what to do so her mom and dad were given full custody. But she doesn’t want them to raise him—mostly because of the way they raised her. She says they think this is their second chance to fix the ways they wronged her but she doesn’t trust them.”

“Who does she want to raise him?” It’s a dumb question and I know the answer before the words are out of my mouth.

His mom chimes in for the first time. “We can help,” she says softly, reaching out to touch his hand.

Katie nods in agreement.

“Me,” Skylar says, dropping the final bomb my body can withstand. “She wants me to fight them. She wants me to have full custody of my son.”

I
re-read Fallon’s final words a dozen times, hearing them in my head in her voice. And I stare at the picture of my son.

My son.

It still doesn’t seem real and maybe it won’t until I see him for myself. Which I have to figure out how to do and soon. Fallon was very clear in her letter that her parents have no intention of giving him up and that they were never going to even tell me about him.

Corin and I haven’t had a second alone since we got here. She read the letter and started giving orders to my mom and sister about scheduling a paternity test and calling our family lawyer as well as finding out who the Kensingtons will get to represent them and an original copy of the birth certificate and custody agreement. Even my dad made an appearance and called our attorney to set up a meeting tomorrow as Corin instructed. In my nearly twenty-four years I’ve never seen my dad take orders from anyone.

My girl is going to kick major ass in law school.

God I hope she’s still my girl.

But I know her and I know what she’s doing. She’s keeping busy on the frontlines to avoid the heartbreak she’s battling below the surface.

Somewhere around two a.m. we decide to call it a night and make our way to my bedroom.

Physically, emotionally, and mentally spent, I struggle to find the right words once we’re alone.

I watch her out of the corner of my eye as we both change into pajamas. The sight of her bare skin still turns me on but even my dick is exhausted from the day’s events.

“I can’t change what’s happened, but I owe you an explanation,” I say once she sits on the bed.

“We don’t have to do this tonight,” she tells me.

“We do. And we should. I should’ve told you about that night a long time ago.”

“But you didn’t.” There’s no judgment in her tone, just a statement of fact and an unspoken question.
Why didn’t you?

“I wanted to.” I shake my head. “No, that’s a lie. I wanted to pretend it never happened.” I take a deep breath and gather the truth in the best order that I can arrange it. “When I left for Brazil, I thought you were done with me. You’d chosen to focus on school and I understood that. It hurt like hell, but honestly, I wouldn’t have bet on me either so I got it.”

“Sky, it wasn’t because I didn’t have faith in you. I was—”

“It’s okay. Honestly. Like I said, we were young, we hadn’t exactly even figured out what we were and I was leaving the country.” Corin nods so I continue. “I tried to return to my former self. The guy who didn’t get his heart broken because he kept it light. The guy you met for the first time at SoCal.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t attempt this return to your former self alone?”

“There were a few girls. A stewardess I hooked up with on the flight over. Not sex, just fooling around. But still…it felt wrong. I threw myself into playing, into proving myself on the field. Casually hung out with a few of the girls that did promo type stuff for the team but never really got to know anyone. And then I ran into Fallon in a bar. She’d sought me out intentionally because she had a shoot in Rio. We were drunk and as ashamed as I am to admit it, I don’t remember it well.”