Giovanni (Blood Brothers Book 6) (7 page)

His grandmother basically raised him since he was ten because his mother never stuck around longer than the time it took her to find another man to have some fun with. Dylan had only met his father once. He was an executive for a big food company that required him to be travel a lot, which was how he met Dylan’s mother. While his mother Maureen saw him as her meal ticket, he saw her as a fling. Kevin Peterson was already married with three children, and he had no intention of leaving his perfect white family for a dirt poor Indian whore and her half-breed offspring. At least that’s the way his grandmother liked to tell the story.

When Dylan was fourteen, he was determined to meet the man neither his mother nor grandmother talked much about. He’d found his father’s address among some letters his mother had kept and Dylan had stolen some money from his grandmother’s rainy day fund that she kept under her bed and took a bus to the address. To say his meeting with Kevin had been disappointing would have been putting it lightly. Not only did he pretend not to know who Dylan was despite the strong resemblance, he’d threatened to call the police. Dylan had caught sight of one of his siblings, a boy not much older than him who looked at him with contempt. Dylan had left after that but he vowed that one day he’d get even.

“You never miss an opportunity to remind me, do you?”

“I mention it because you keep screwing up. That temper of yours is going to get the better of you one day. You’ve already been to jail for more times than I can count. The sheriff has a permanent cot set up for you. The next time the judge might not be so lenient.”

“That won’t happen as long as—”

Ida glared. “Shut up. I told you not to speak of that. Maybe you should give Sydney some space. She could still come around.”

Maybe, but as long as that John Chandler is around, I can’t make any promises.”

“You let me take care of that.”

“What do you plan on doing?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just give it a few days and I guarantee, Sydney will see things differently very soon.”

Dylan narrowed his eyes, wondering what his grandmother was up to. She could be very persuasive when she wanted to be, and he didn’t know what she had planned. But then he thought about his woman doing God-knows-what with that outsider and it made his blood boil. He wouldn’t ask questions for now. As long as it resulted in Sydney being his again.

Chapter Seven

Giovanni brushed his horse with vigorous strokes, preparing it for his daily ride as Gio and he casually chatted. They could speak more freely now that Gio had been promoted to stable master after the death of the previous one. “You seem a little quieter than usual,” Gio observed.

Giovanni shrugged. “I’m not sure why it is, but something doesn’t feel right. I can’t help but think something is going to happen soon. Something bad.”

Gio closed the distance between the two of them and placed his hands on Giovanni’s shoulders. “What’s going on? Remember, you can tell me anything.”

And Giovanni knew that to be true. Besides Adonis, there was no one he felt more comfortable with than Gio. It was why he spent so much time in the stables. “My father’s family is visiting and they don’t like me or Adonis. I hear them whisper, saying me and Adonis look nothing like our father. Mama says they’re just trying to cause trouble.”

When Gio didn’t say anything, Giovanni glanced up to catch his reaction. His friend had gone pale as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Gio? Are you all right?”

The stable master slowly nodded. “Yes. Well, like your mother said, they’re just trying to cause trouble, I’m sure.” He turned his back abruptly and Giovanni had the distinct impression that his friend was hiding something.

He didn’t get a chance to pursue the topic because he heard the sound of footsteps drawing near. “Giovanni!”

It was Adonis.

“I’m here,” he called out to his brother.

Adonis rounded the corner. His face was nearly as red as his hair. He looked agitated. “I should have known you were out here. Why are you grooming your horse? That’s the stable boy’s job.”

Giovanni shrugged. “I like doing it. What’s wrong with you?”

“Our cousins are making trouble again. I needed to get out of the castle. Are you about to go for a ride? If you are I’d like to join you.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Good.” Adonis snapped his finger and one of the stable boys came running to do his bidding. “Prepare my horse and be quick about it.”

Adonis must have really been in a mood. Even though he could be quite arrogant toward the servants when he wanted to be, he wasn’t usually this rude. Giovanni noticed that Gio made himself scarce to give them some privacy.

Once the horses were ready and they were a safe distance away from the stables, Giovanni broke the silence that had fallen between them. “Tell me, what’s happened to upset you.”

“Papa and I were in his study. He wanted to show me the bookkeeping so I would know the extent of our wealth when I inherit everything from him. Cousin Fabricio was also there. He began to make comments about me not looking anything like our father. He kept bringing up my red hair and said no male in the Sarducci family has ever had my hair color. But our mother has red hair. Papa said the same thing and cousin Fabricio seemed to agree but he kept hinting that I wasn’t a real Sarducci. Papa told him to be quiet and he would for a while but he’d start up again. I was so angry, I hit him.”

Giovanni raised a brow. It wasn’t like his brother to lose his cool in front of their father or at all for that matter. “What did our father say?”

“I didn’t give him a chance to say anything. I ran out the castle and went looking for you.”

“You shouldn’t listen to them. They are troublemakers. They come here twice a year, eat a lot, gossip and cause trouble. No one takes them seriously.” Giovanni hoped his response was enough to calm his brother down, although at least he actually looked like one of their parents. Giovanni, on the other hand, looked like neither. He’d heard the servants gossip about his paternity when they didn’t think anyone was listening. It often made him wonder about the validity of those claims. At least then it would make sense why his father treated him the way he did. But he recognized that hearing something like that would be devastating for his brother, who was the favored son.

“You’re right. What does Fabricio know anyway? He’s jealous because he won’t inherit all this and I will.”

Giovanni nodded. “That’s exactly it. Jealousy.”

Adonis smiled. “Thank you, Giovanni.”

“For what?”

“You always manage to make me feel better. How about we race to the end of the field?”

Before Giovanni could agree, his brother took off. He smacked his horse’s rear to take it from a gallop to a run in order to catch up to his brother. Adonis might have been older, but Giovanni was the better rider, mainly because of all the time he spent in the stables.

Giovanni caught up to Adonis and beat him by a nose.

Adonis didn’t seem bothered by his defeat. “I almost had you that time.”

“Almost, but not quite.”

“Giovanni?”

“Yes, Adonis?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“What is it?”

“Why didn’t you save me?”

Giovanni turned his head to ask Adonis what he was talking about. To his shock and horror, his brother, who still sat astride his horse, had a trail of blood trickling down both sides of his mouth. There was a huge fist-sized hole in the middle of his chest.

“Why didn’t you save me?” Adonis asked again before his eyes turned bright red.

Giovanni sat up in his bed with a start. The dream had seemed so real. It was a cross between an actual memory and a nightmare, just like before. He remembered that day when Adonis had come looking for them when Fabricio had upset him. And then they raced their horses. That had happened shortly before their mother was found to be having an affair with Gio. It was revealed that the man who Giovanni had seen as a father figure was actually their real father.

It was getting to a point where he didn’t want to go to sleep because he’d be reminded of a past that still haunted him and probably would continue to for the rest of his life.

A soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. “Who is it?”

“It’s Sydney. Are you okay in there?”

Sydney.

After their kiss Giovanni had spent the next couple of days avoiding her, only joining the house for meals. During the day, he went for long walks to clear his head. The local library had also been a welcome distraction that kept him occupied and away from the house. Sydney seemed to be doing the same so he was surprised that she’d be outside his room.

He slid out of bed and grabbed his pajama pants and quickly slid into them. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t see his nudity; Giovanni needed that barrier between them in case he did something stupid. Whenever he was around her, he couldn’t think straight.

He opened the door just enough to see her face. Giovanni barely managed not to gasp. Once again he was struck by her beauty. Even without a drop of makeup her skin glowed and he wanted nothing more than to have another taste of her sweet lips. Wrapped in a fluffy pink terry robe, Sydney caused Giovanni to imagine what her body looked like beneath it. And beneath him. He needed to get her away from him quickly before he did something stupid. “Yes, everything is okay. Was there anything you wanted?”

She nibbled her bottom lip seeming slightly hesitant. “I was on my way to my room when I heard you cry out. Did you have another nightmare?”

“I’m sorry if I was loud. I’ll try to keep it down.”

“The noise isn’t a problem. It wasn’t the blood-curdling scream like the first time, but I noticed the last couple nights, you seemed to wake up yelling. I know it’s none of my business, but are you sure everything is okay?”

Giovanni pinched the bridge of his nose to compose himself. He knew she was just being nice but he didn’t think he could handle her kindness… not now, not when he didn’t feel like he deserved it. “You’re right Sydney. It’s none of your business.” The moment he said it, he wanted to cut his own tongue out because her face completely crumbled. He’d hurt her and it was like a kick in his own gut.

She backed away. “Well, I’m sorry to bother you then. Have a good night.”

When she would have turned away, he grabbed her by the wrist. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just a little irritable is all. Please come in.”

Sydney stiffened. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“Please. I promise I won’t try anything.”

“I wasn’t worried about that,” she said a little too quickly.

“Then come in. I could use the company. It’s not like I’m in a hurry to get back to sleep.” Against his better judgment he moved aside so that she could step inside, which she did.

Giovanni took a quick peek down the hall to make sure no one else lingered around. He then closed the door behind her so they could talk in private. Walking over to the desk in the corner of his room, he pulled out the chair for her. “Have a seat. The chair directly behind you.”

She turned to feel for it before sitting down. “Thank you.”

Giovanni sat on his bed across the room to place as much distance as he could between the two of them. “Again, I apologize for any disturbance I caused. Shortly before I came here, I had what one would probably call an extreme sense of insomnia. A lot of nights I would have loved to sleep. And now, I dread it.”

“Because of the nightmares?”

The compassion etched on Sydney’s lovely face made him feel a little ashamed for entertaining these carnal thoughts of her. Even now as he watched her across the room, his cock stirred. He’d never been more aware of a woman in his life. He’d had lovers over the course of his life and he’d enjoyed many of them, but none of them made him feel so alive and aware of his body’s needs.

He nodded and then remembered she couldn’t see that gesture. “Yes. Every night when I fall asleep I dream about things that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, John. I kind of know how you feel.”

Giovanni laughed without humor. “You couldn’t possibly know what this feels like. I lost someone close to me and I did everything in my power to save him but apparently it wasn’t enough and I have to live with the “what ifs” for the rest of my life. I have to wonder what I could have done differently, and if I’d chosen a different path maybe things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did.” He wasn’t sure why he’d told her that. Giovanni hadn’t told anyone about the guilt he felt over Adonis’s death, not Nya, or his other brothers. He knew Nya carried her own guilt where Adonis was concerned, and as for the other four, they wouldn’t understand. They hated Adonis and justifiably so, but he’d be damned if he allowed them to tarnish the memory of the brother he’d once known. Somehow, telling Sydney just felt right and he was compelled to tell her more.

“And what kills me is that no one else knows the real him. They will never understand what he went through and what was done to make him the way he was. My brother was my best friend and I fought so hard for him even when he stopped fighting for himself. And these nightmares are my punishment for not saving him.” Tears stung the backs of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He couldn’t. He didn’t deserve to unburden himself of the pain. There would be no atonement for him.

Giovanni gripped his hands in his lap so hard he felt as if his bones would break. He sat very still for several long moments in an attempt to get his emotions under control. When he was certain he wouldn’t have a breakdown, he noticed Sydney hadn’t said anything.

He looked up to see tears spilling unheeded down her cheeks.

Giovanni sprang to his feet and was at her side in an instant. He knelt down and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She quickly swiped her tears away with the back of her free hand and then shook her head. “No. You didn’t. I just feel terrible that you’re going through this. Your brother must have been very special.”

“He was.”

“Then I don’t think he’d want you to hurt this way. I’m sure there’s a lot you’re not telling me and that’s okay. It’s your story to tell, but do you honestly believe your brother would want you to hold on to this guilt?”

“Probably not, but it’s really not that simple. You wouldn’t understand.”

“You keep saying that as if I’ve never experienced loss. I deal with loss every single day of my life. How do you think it feels when I wake up in the morning and I hear the sound of a bird chirping and I’m not able to look out the window and see it flying around? When I’m out in public and I hear a baby cry and I can’t see its face? Memories that used to be so keen in my mind are becoming faded and distant. Besides that, I feel guilt too. My parents and my sister were taken away by a bunch of drunk teenagers going on a joy ride. Even though I lost my sight, I ask myself everyday ‘why me?’ Why did I survive and they didn’t? There are days when I think it would have been better if I’d gone too because then I wouldn’t have to live with the pain of missing them so much. I’ll never be able to give my mother a hug or listen to one of my father’s corny jokes. I won’t get to see my best friend again. My little sister was only seventeen so why them and not me? You don’t have the market on guilt. And trust me, my nightmares are just as real as yours.”

Her words were like a kick in his gut. Giovanni felt like an asshole for not considering her ordeal. He already knew about her accident and family history because of what Nya had told him and his own research he’d done on her. “My apologies for being so self-absorbed.”