Gilbert and Louis Rule the Universe: First Impressions (21 page)

“That boy, Ralph, from up the street.”
I hide my face in the pillow.

“But I thought you hated him,” she says as she strokes my hair.

“I thought I did.”
I began to pull it together.

“Did he say something mean to you in the letter?” she asks.

“No, he was perfectly nice.”
My mother would never understand.

“I am afraid I don’t understand," she says.

“He asked me out over Christmas and I said no and now he will never go out with me.”
That is it, I start bawling again.

“Never say that, you don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”
I continue to cry into my pillow.

“Do you want to go to for frozen yogurt?”
My mom asks, knowing this always cheers me up.

“No,”
I sob.

I can tell she is floored, because she doesn’t say another word, and just continues to stroke my hair.
That makes me feel a little better, but not really.

Chapter 22

Friday, January 15

Today’s Horoscope: Others may see clearly what you cannot.

I mostly walk around in a daze for the next few days.
I don’t know what to do.
I look up the address to
Havenhurst
online and think about writing Ralph back, but what to say?
I
think
of talking to Kate, but she keeps giving me the evil eye.
I don’t tell anyone about the letter, not even Gilbert.
I need to clear my head.

To top it off, Riley’s reputation is getting out of hand.
The kids at school whisper when she goes by and the
Fab
Five don’t make a secret of how
appalled
they are by her behavior.
Yesterday, when I was in the bathroom I saw “Riley is a slut” written on the bathroom wall.
It was in pencil, so I unzipped my backpack and took out one of my little Japanese erasers shaped like a sushi roll.
I had to scrub at it for like five minutes to make it disappear—those Japanese erasers are cute but they don’t work very well.
In the end you could still see the writing if you looked really close, but I had mostly removed the offense.
I didn’t mention it to anyone. I hope Riley didn’t see it.

Everything is so messed up.
My group of friends is all out of whack, and I am not ready to talk about the letter from Ralph yet.
Everyone thinks I hate him.
And I am no longer sure how I feel.
Could everything he said be true?
I think back about Gilbert and Dylan, the way Gilbert acted at the movies to protect their relationship from her mom.
I could see Ralph’s point. I definitely believed Ralph about Winston.
I am convinced he is a total scam artist.
But, I would need to do a lot of explaining before I can convince the girls, especially Riley, to take Ralph’s word.
I just am not ready to open that whole can of worms.
To top it off, my emotions are totally all over the place.
I had so convinced myself that I hated Ralph that my whole body is slightly confused.
Butterflies flutter in my stomach every time I think about the letter, and every time I read it over (I have read it like 20 times) I start crying.

I am sitting in English class, staring at the back of Kate’s head.
Does she know?
Ms. Sanders is lecturing at the board talking about haikus.
5-7-5, yeah, I get it.
But I can’t concentrate, I am thinking back to all Ralph and my interactions.

Ralph is so gorgeous

But I thought he was a jerk

Now I’m not so sure.

Did I not see that he liked me?
He never gave an indication.
The time he asked me to dance at Ashley’s party was weird.
Do I remember him pressing his hands against my back a little harder than normal?
And then he found me in the pantry at the New Year’s Eve party.
I never asked why he was looking for me.
Am I imagining things? I am ashamed that I was so mean to him when he asked me out.
He must absolutely hate me.
Thinking how he hates me now and how I hated him then puts me in a total head spin and I totally want to vomit.

Ms. Sanders picks that moment to call on me.
“Leah, can you tell me how Basho uses imagery in this poem?”

I look at the board in a total panic.
I haven’t been paying attention at all.
Kate turns around and looks at me.
Seeing Kate makes me think about Ralph.
My brain scatters all over the place.
I got nothing.

“Um…”
I stall.
Luckily Melinda is waving her hand wildly next to me.
Ms. Sanders gives me an exasperated look.
She moves on.
“Melinda, do you know?”

I slink out of class before Ms. Sanders calls me back and vow to start paying attention.
I see Riley in the hall.
As soon as I see her I am reminded about what is coming.
Besides my own problems, the girls decided that today at lunch is when we are going to confront Riley.
I am definitely not up for it, and none of us want to hurt her feelings, but we need to hear her side of the story.
Riley hasn’t said anything to us about what is going on at school, I don’t know if she is blind to it. Either that or she is just ignoring it.

I make it to lunchtime without any other teachers
accosting
me.
I am so not in the m
ood for the whole Riley
debacle
, but the other girls are ready.
They had asked me last night if I am okay to talk about Winston.
I totally am, but they don’t know the real reason why.

Before Riley sits down with her tray we all look at each other for support.

Gilbert opens it up, “So are you and Winston going to hang out this weekend?” Riley is definitely surprised that we are talking about her and Winston in front of me because she looks at my face to check my expression before she answers.
I smile politely.

“I think so,” she says.

“What are you guys going to do?”
Maddy
asks.
I sit back waiting for the answer and eat another fry.

“I don’t know, I guess he is not much of a planner, he usually texts me the last minute to meet somewhere,”
Riley says.
She hadn’t eaten a bite, and she begins to tear her napkin into tiny pieces.

“Do you guys talk on the phone during the week?” Rowan asks.

“Um, not really.
But he is really busy.
I think he has soccer practice,” Riley says. More napkin tearing.

Even I know this doesn’t sound that good. I feel bad for Riley, she is definitely trying to convince herself that they have some sort of relationship going.
Sounds like he sees it more like “friends with benefits,” and I am not even sure they are friends.
You would think I would be relieved, but now that I know the truth about Winston, really, I just feel sorry for her.

“Riley, are you sure you guys are, like, really going out?” I finally have to ask.

Riley looks right at me.
“Leah, you are just mad that he didn’t want to go out with you and that he’s going out with me.”

I knew she would take it that way.
The truth is, sure, in the beginning, I was pissed that Winston picked Riley over me.
But now that I have more information, chiefly the letter from Ralph, I don’t care anymore.
I believe Ralph, and I just don’t want to see Riley get hurt.
Really.
But let’s be honest, I don’t like confrontation, especially with one my best friends so I stammer on, “That’s not it…”

I want to tell her that Winston is a bad guy, that he messes around with girls and then dumps them.
That he is the druggie and not Ralph, but Riley beats me to it.

She tears the last of her napkin and stands up. “You guys are just jealous that I have a boyfriend.
Just leave me alone,” she says and storms off.
She even left her tray behind for us to clean up.

“Well, that went well,” Gilbert says sarcastically.
We all giggle nervously.

We don’t see Riley the rest of the day. I think she took off for home as soon as the bell rang.
Thankfully it is a three day weekend ahead of us and Gilbert and I are going out of town with my dad and Bonnie.
As we leave school Bill the janitor calls out to us, “Remember girls, first impressions aren’t always what they seem.”

Chapter 23

Sunday, January 17

Today’s Horoscope: Your heart makes its own decisions.

My dad and Bonnie planned a fun-filled adventure to the coast for the long weekend and decided to take Gilbert and me with them.
Of course, it was just like my father to plan a beach trip in the middle of winter—it was freezing.
We can’t even lay out and work on our tans.

Actually, it ended up being kind of fun.
We are in a small rental house right on the beach.
Yesterday, my dad lit a fire in the fireplace and Bonnie even loosened up and made us
mac
and cheese right out of the box.
Gilbert and I get to share a bedroom, which is super fun.
Last night, we talked so long we didn’t fall asleep until two in the morning.
Today we ran around jumping in the sand dunes and spent time reading on the big comfy couch.
It has been really relaxing.
But I can’t stop thinking about Ralph.

Gilbert and I are bundled up in sweaters and blankets sitting on the porch staring at the sun setting over the ocean.
We each have a mug of hot chocolate and between us there is a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
Bonnie’s
idea of being a good step-mother is to bake cookies for me and my friends. I finally decide to confide in Gilbert.