Gifted To The Dragon: A Paranormal Pregnancy Romance (The Gifted Series Book 2) (14 page)

Desmond smiled, setting his own mug down.

"I know Eric is going to want to be there the very first time little Jake stands without his braces on."

I smiled in return. "I bet. I know it'll be an amazing, special moment, for sure." I picked up my fork and speared a slice of strawberry, but then paused in lifting it to my mouth. "You know...not to get all into their personal business, although Emma has shared a few things with me, but...what exactly are Eric's feelings for Emma? Do you know?"

Desmond finished chewing a bite of toast and swallowed with a faint sigh.

"Well...I'll just say that his feelings for her are profound."

I was pretty sure he was about to say something else, but before he could, his phone went off again.

Now, instead of just frowning, he openly glared at it. "I told Eric that it had better be some code red-level emergency...."

"But you said he'd call repeatedly if something major was up...so, don't you think you should answer it? I don't mind."

Rather, I didn't, but then again, I did.

Desmond reached for his phone, still glaring at it.

"Let me just send a text, here. One second." Once he'd tapped out a quick text and had sent it, he turned to look at me again. "One of the reasons I skipped morning patrol today is because I want to talk to you about a few fairly serious things. I owe you some explanations."

CHAPTER 14

We'd both finished with our food, so Desmond took the tray away out to the kitchen, leaving me with just my half-finished coffee. Eating breakfast had made my nausea and dizziness completely disappear, although now I developed a different kind of stomach issue, more of a vague churning feeling, like I'd often developed throughout my life as a result of general nerves.

Whatever Desmond was going to tell me, I just hoped it was something positive, like that he'd decided that he
did
want to be a part of our baby's life, and maybe mine, too. And I hoped that whatever explanation he gave me for his behavior since I'd arrived in Chicago, was something that made sense, and was something that I could understand. I wanted desperately for it to make sense, just as I wanted desperately to begin a new chapter with Desmond, one where we not only both cared about our baby, but about each other as well.

When he returned to my bedroom, the bright spring sunshine filtering through the curtains had filled the room with a soft golden glow that bathed Desmond's lightly tanned skin, too, making him even more handsome than usual, which was saying a lot, and his body looked even more inviting.

As he climbed into bed beside me, I found I couldn't keep my gaze off his bare chest and sculpted abs, but I forced myself to lift my focus to his face. If he was ready to give me explanations about a few things, I was more than ready to hear them.

He first took one of my hands in his and just looked into my eyes for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Madison. I'm sorry for leaving you without even saying goodbye the first night we spent together."

"But why did you? Was it something I said, or did, or didn't do?"

Sighing, he shifted his gaze downward, to our clasped hands, for a moment.

"No. It was absolutely nothing you did. Well...it was, rather, but it wasn't your fault. You were simply too sweet, and I couldn't handle it. I had to run."

"What do you mean? How was I 'too sweet?'"

Again, Desmond sighed. "I noticed it almost right away. I chased you out of the bar because I thought you were so beautiful, but then very soon, I noticed a charming sweetness about you that I find incredibly attractive. When you said that you didn't normally pick up men in bars, I completely believed you. You just didn't strike me as the type of woman who brought home a new man every night after having a few beers.

“You struck me as the kind of woman much happier sitting under the stars enjoying some good conversation and a treat as sweet as you are. I really liked that. I also liked how it was somehow clear to me that you weren't the type to bring strange men home, and yet, once you made up your mind that you wanted to take
me
home, you just kind of went for it. It was very surprising, and sexy, and sweet all at once. And then when we enjoyed our time in your bed...."

Desmond suddenly cracked a smile, running his free hand over his face.

I smiled as well, recalling that night.

"Yes, I enjoyed our first night together more than a bit as well."

Still smiling a little, Desmond gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"For me, it was incredible. I'd been waiting quite a while to share a night of passion like that with a woman just like you. But then after...immediately after...I began to think I'd made a mistake."

"Why?"

"Well...for a few years, I've had somewhat of a policy to not get too close to any one particular woman. I've had a policy of guarding my heart. It hasn't been extraordinarily hard, considering I'm used to being around a lot of women who want status, and power, and prestige, and will go to any lengths to get it...but you were the opposite of that. And then after we made love, I realized that I'd kind of allowed my 'guarded heart' policy to blow right out the window.

“My heart was already tipping toward you, and then you made the comment about needing to get up early to help your grandma and the other residents of the care home...and that's when I knew I had to run, before I became even further enamored of you. You'd become too sweet...dangerously sweet...and I knew I'd be in serious trouble if I didn't just get out of your apartment and try to forget about you."

"But why, exactly, did you have to, though? What happened in your past that made you feel like you couldn't let me into your heart?"

Now I knew we were getting into the territory that Emma had told me to try to get Desmond to open up about.

I'd set my coffee mug on the cherry wood nightstand closest to me, and Desmond now took my free hand to hold both of my hands in his own.

"First, and this doesn't have anything to do with my heart-guarding, but I'll say that after you came to town, Madison, I had a look in your government Gifted file, and I was very sorry to learn that you lost both your parents during the Angels' failed Takeover. I was especially sorry because I know the same pain, unfortunately, which was the reason for my heart-guarding. I lost both my parents during the Takeover, as well as a woman I loved."

Now things were making a bit more sense, as I'd hoped they would.

"Her name was Alison, and though we weren't engaged quite yet, we definitely planned to have a future together. I truly loved her with my heart and soul, and...to be honest, I think a part of me will always love her. She was very, very special."

I was beginning to understand why Emma thought that Eric might have reservations about becoming closer to her on a romantic level. Even though Desmond hadn't been married to Alison, it was hard not to feel like I might be competing with a ghost on some level if he and I ever entered into a serious relationship.

However, more than anything else at the moment, I was just thinking of his pain in losing her. I could tell just by the look in his eyes that he still felt the loss deeply and probably always would. And I understood how a tragic, sudden loss of a serious romantic partner could make a person vow to never become close to another person on a romantic level again, so as to not ever be hurt like that again. When he continued speaking, it was as if Desmond had read my mind, or I'd read his.

"After Alison was killed in an Angel attack while visiting her parents in Indiana, I blamed myself for a number of things, thinking I should have never let her go on her own, especially since everything was in such chaos in those first days post-Takeover. I hadn't even become a shifter yet, which is why I wasn't successful at defending my parents from the Angels ten days before Alison was killed.

“But, then, once I did become a shifter and was properly trained, I was dispatched here to Chicago to lead, because of my previous military training. And that's when I decided to put the past in the past, and never speak about it to anyone but my very closest friends. At the same time, I vowed to never again put myself in a position to where I could be hurt as badly as I was when I lost Alison.

“I just never, ever wanted to experience that level of pain again, and I still don't. It still nearly makes me ill just thinking about how completely heartbroken I felt during those early days.

“And that's why, Madison, I fled from your apartment as soon as you were soundly sleeping. And that's why I initially wanted you as far away from me as possible once I learned you were pregnant. It was because I knew you were a woman I could very, very easily fall in love with, and I just couldn't have that.

“I didn't want to grow to love our baby, either, just on the same principle. I loved deeply at one point, and it just hurt far too badly to lose it. Essentially, I just decided that the old adage about it being better to love and lose than never love at all was wrong."

"And now you feel differently?"

I was hoping. Hoping with all my heart, actually.

After picking up my hands and kissing each of them, Desmond said that yes, he did feel differently. "I'm at least going to try to feel differently. I at least want to give things a chance."

"And what made you change your mind?"

I had to admit, I was pretty curious. Not complaining in the least, elated actually, but still pretty curious.

With warm sunlight bathing his handsome face, making his eyes bluer than usual, Desmond looked down at our clasped hands for a long moment before meeting my gaze again.

"I guess something just changed in me last night, and I'm not even exactly sure what. I just felt like I wanted to allow myself to open my heart and feel something again, even for just a little while.

“And then once I did, it felt too good to stop, and I started considering the possibilities...you and me in love, and you, me, and our child as a happy family...and then I held you as you slept, just doing a lot of thinking. And I decided that I want to try. I just want to try to see if I can give
us
a chance without once again becoming too scared of growing to love you and then losing you."

Heart melting, I gave his hands a gentle squeeze, smiling a little at the same time.

"I never dreamed that a dragon shifter could be scared of anything."

He smiled in return, making his eyes dance in the sun.

"It's true, and I'll freely admit it. I'm still scared, Madison...scared of growing to love you and the baby, and then having the two of you ripped away from me. But, like I felt deep in my gut even when I was trying to push you away, I know it'd be wrong of me to not even try to give things a chance."

"I agree, not least of all because that wouldn't be fair to yourself...to deny yourself love forever just so you can avoid all possibility of losing love again. I don't think that's what your parents and Alison would want, either. I think they'd all want you to be happy. They'd want you to try to open your heart. They'd want you to enjoy love again, and enjoy being a father."

Suddenly cracking a big grin, Desmond dropped his head, giving it a shake.

"'Being a father' still doesn’t seem quite real yet."

Smiling, I pulled one of his hands to my lower stomach.

"Well, it is. Your teeny-tiny baby is right in here."

Expression completely sober now, Desmond just looked at my stomach for a long moment before lifting his gaze to my face.

"
Our
baby. Our little son."

I burst into laughter, releasing his hand from my stomach.

"Oh...oh,
whoa
. 'Our little
son
?' How are you so sure about that? I've been thinking that the baby's a girl. In fact, I've been starting to feel pretty sure about that."

"And if it's a girl, I'll be just as over-the-moon as if it's a boy. A healthy baby of either gender will make me make me incredibly happy...but I just have a very strong feeling that it's a boy."

"Well, I just have a very strong feeling that it's a girl...and she's in
my
body, so I'm probably right."

Desmond smiled. "You probably are."

Just then, his phone began going off again, and he frowned.

"I'm sorry. Just one second." After grabbing his phone and glancing at the screen, he frowned even harder. "Eric again. Just let me see what's going on."

He answered the call, listened for just a few seconds, and then said that he'd be right there.

Completely understanding that he was needed, and probably urgently, I spoke first so that he wouldn't have to apologize.

"Just go. It's okay. I'm just glad that we got to spend last night and this morning together. Hopefully we'll be able to spend even more time together very soon."

Nodding, Desmond leaned in and brushed a tender kiss against my lips. "We will. I promise."

"Good. And please promise me, too, that we're starting a whole new chapter today. One where you're going to fight to not push me away, even if you get scared again and feel like you want to."