Ghost of Christmas Past (11 page)

“
I think that it may have been for me. My associates at the
War Office, and the Star Elite, are making enquiries but, as far as
I am aware, your uncle is highly regarded by practically everyone.
Those who don’t hold him in high esteem don’t know him or have
never heard of him. While we go about our work though Thea, it is
imperative that you remain indoors and only go out when Marcus and
I are able to escort you. John is not well enough to travel
anywhere so, unless there is somewhere really important that you
need to go over the next few days that can’t wait, stay inside
where it is warm. Relax and enjoy having Argus look after you. I am
sure that John would love the company. I will be taking turns with
Marcus to keep watch on this place day and night, so some days will
be around and others, Marcus will be here. If you need me and I am
not in the house then just leave a note with Argus and I will come
and find you.”

“
Is all of this really necessary?” Thea asked doubtfully. It
seemed all very cloak and dagger and totally out of place for
somewhere as peacefully austere as Ridings.

“
I am afraid that it is. The Star Elite have spent several
years tracking down several French spies who have been smuggled
into the country. They have used a network of French and English
people within the country to adopt false identifications and work
to uncover many of the country’s secrets.”

“
Such as what?”

“
Ships the navy has at port at its disposal; troops who are
mustering at various barracks; all sorts of things. They gather the
information and send it back to France to give the enemy some
indication of what is heading their way.”

Thea
shivered at the callous disregard for human life that Rupert seemed
to accept as run of the mill. It wasn’t that he was blasé about
what he was saying it was just that he was so used to dealing with
such things that he didn’t think anything of it.

“
I am sorry, Thea. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He
wished he had kept the finer details to himself when he sensed her
disquiet.

“
No, I am glad that you told me, really I am. It just gives me
the chills to think that this goes on in our own country. That
these foreigners move amongst us and we don’t even know it.” The
callousness of shooting somebody in cold blood was something she
could never bring herself to understand, and she was very glad of
it.

“
It sounds very difficult,” she replied sadly.

“
It is but you get used to it.” He took a sip of his wine and
began to eat.

“
What made you choose the army?” Thea asked into the silence
with a thoughtful frown. In a valiant attempt to try to avoid the
issue of their past she expanded on her question. “I mean, as
opposed to the navy. Why the army?”

Rupert’s
lips twisted wryly. “It had the closest barracks. The navy was too
far away and I needed to do something before I ended up drinking
myself to death.”

Thea
frowned at that. She couldn’t ever imagine someone like Rupert
allowing anything to bother him to such an extent that he felt
driven to drink to forget. Not even four years ago when he had the
world at his feet and an air of arrogance that came with someone
who was wealthy and entitled.

“
I am glad that you have recovered sufficiently well to be
able to get about by yourself.”

“
It has been a hard won battle, Rupert. Even now, whenever it
gets cold, I struggle with stiffness and, if I forget my injuries
and move too quickly, I am apt to fall over but I am lucky in as
much that I am at least able to walk. For several months after the
accident I didn’t think that it would be possible.”

“
I want you to understand that when you had the accident, my
life also changed completely and went in a direction I could never
have foreseen. I came to see you after the accident but was only
allowed in once or twice. You were heavily sedated with laudanum
because of the pain so weren’t even aware that I was there. Then,
about a month after the accident, I arrived at the doctor’s office
and heard you. You were in considerable pain.” Her cries had echoed
around the walls of the doctor’s house and had been so pitiful that
he could still hear them to this day. “I asked to see you but the
doctor wouldn’t allow it. I came by each day still, but was never
allowed in. My father kept sending me notes demanding that I return
to Bainbridge, but I couldn’t stand the thought of it. He even came
to the inn to see me but I refused to answer the door. In the end,
I tried to force my way in to see you but was told that you had
refused to see anybody. I pleaded with your uncle, but he
stalwartly refused to budge on the issue. Then one day, when I
arrived at the doctor’s office I was told that you had asked to
move to the country to continue your recovery. I don’t know if you
had gone by then but, in spite of my best efforts I couldn’t get
any details about where you were or how you were. I was eventually
told that John had left the tavern in the village but nobody knew
where he had gone. With no idea of where you had disappeared to I
was left with little choice but to accept that I had lost you. I
left the doctor’s office with my world in pieces. One moment we had
been destined to wed, the next I not only had to deal with the news
that you had been badly injured, but then to lose you as well.” He
shook his head sadly. “I hadn’t been able to do a damned thing
about it. I didn’t know what to do or what to think. I ignored all
of my father’s demands to return to Bainbridge, and moved to the
nearest large town where I found an inn and took to my room with
several bottles. I eventually sobered up and realised that I could
either go home and live a shadow of a life I didn’t want, or go my
own way before my father disinherited me completely. I used the
last of the funds I had available and bought myself a commission to
the army.”

“
But you didn’t want to marry me,” Thea protested with a
frown. She remembered the conversation she had overheard the night
before the wedding between Rupert and his father. When Rupert
merely looked at her blankly she knew that he had no idea what she
was talking about. She took a fortifying sip of her wine and slowly
began to recount the awful meeting she had overheard that had
shaken her to her core.

********

“
I have said that I will go along with it and I will. Just
leave Thea to me,” Rupert growled and glared belligerently across
the width of his desk.

“
The contacts have all been signed. All you have to do is turn
up at the church, say the words in the right place and return here
for the celebrations. As soon as the guests have left you and Thea
can take up residence in Weatherby. Her parents have already moved
into the Dower house.”

“
We have already been through this father, so what is your
point?”

“
The point is that this marriage isn’t a love match, we know
that, but you have a duty to this family to ensure that we are not
sullied in any way, shape or form. That includes tarnishing your
reputation with that odious mistress of yours.”

“
I have told you that Barbara is my business, not yours. Leave
her to me.”

“
I am just saying.”

“
I am just saying too. I will deal with Barbara. That is
nothing to do with you.”

“
I know you don’t want to marry Thea, but she is more your age
and will give you the children you need to fulfil your duties to
the family name. Do what you want about your mistress, but keep it
discrete. Your shenanigans around town have already drawn the
censure of the gossips. Don’t put them into a position where they
will ridicule Thea any more than they already are.”

Sensing
movement in the hallway beside her, Thea had hurried into the
Library and struggled to contain the fierce trembling that had
shaken her so badly that she had been forced to sit down for
several long moments to gather herself. She had known all along
that Rupert’s affections were already engaged elsewhere, but to
hear it from his own lips struck deep into her heart and she knew
with absolute certainty that her future was doomed.

********

“
I will admit that when my father first approached me about
getting married I was completely opposed to the idea, but that was
before I had even met you. My father objected to my being in London
and had tried several times to get me to return to Bainbridge and
take over the running of the estate. Until then I had refused to
bow to his dictates. However, I knew that I also had a duty to the
family name and so agreed to at least take a look at you at the
Abernathy’s ball.”

He
smiled wryly as he remembered the first time he had seen her across
the crowded ballroom. His heart had pounded and he, like many
eligible bachelors there, had been unable to take his eyes off her
as she had stood beside the far wall of the ballroom in a beautiful
white ball gown that had emphasised her narrow waist and gently
rounded bust. Only the bravest few had dared ventured anywhere near
such a fragile and captivating beautiful but, although it was still
relatively early in the evening, her dance card had been full and
he had been left to watch her from a distance.

Still,
he had seen enough to know that she was definitely someone he
wanted to get to know considerably better and he had taken the
first step toward securing their union right there and then by
parting company with his mistress, Barbara.

He grew
aware that Thea was studying him with a strange look on her face
and turned to meet her gaze.

“
I agreed to meet you at Weatherby a couple of weeks later. As
time progressed and I got to know you I realised that I wanted to
marry you, irrespective of whether contracts were drawn up or not
and agreed to the marriage before we left the Abernathy’s.
Unfortunately, by the time I got back to Bainbridge, my father and
yours had already signed the contracts and put a price on our
nuptials. It was horrific really and, now that I look back at it, I
should have put a stop to their machinations. At the time though, I
saw it as a means to an end.” He smiled sadly at her. “I knew that
you didn’t want the marriage, Thea. I am no fool and could sense
your reluctance, even though our parents put it down to pre-wedding
nerves and youthful innocence. I just thought that by allowing the
contracts to be drawn up, you would have little choice but to go
through with the wedding in spite of your reservations. It was
ridiculous really, but there was little else I could do except
ensure that the wedding took place. We were never alone long enough
before the wedding for you to take me into your confidence, or for
me to be able to assure you that it was what I wanted.”

Thea’s
snort left her before she could stop it. Although she didn’t say
anything, he knew that she wasn’t convinced.

“
You don’t believe me.”

“
It isn’t that I don’t believe your version of things Rupert,
it is just that I saw things very differently. We both know that
our marriage was an arranged one based on what our parents wanted,
not what we wanted. You and I were merely pawns in their game. Our
parents would have benefitted from the union more than us.” She
hated to allow the memories to surface and felt a familiar dark
shadow settle over her as she remembered the past she would much
rather forget, but she had to get things out into the
open.

“
While I was struggling to come to terms with the severity of
my injuries at the doctor’s office, my mother turned up. I was
already in a lot of pain but she stormed in and demanded that I go
through with the wedding as soon as I was able to sit up. She
rambled on about not losing the contracts; they were too valuable,
but I didn’t pay all that much attention. At the time, I didn’t
know whether I would be able to walk again and couldn’t bear the
thought of being anyone’s burden. Frances being Frances caused a
scene, obviously, and made such a ruckus that the doctor refused to
allow anyone to see me after that. If it had been left to Frances,
I would have had a wedding at my bedside, in spite of the fact that
you could have been lumbered with a cripple for the rest of your
life. After overhearing your conversation about Barbara with my own
ears, I knew that something had to change. It was then that I
decided to just get away from everything and everyone. There was
nothing more the doctor could do for me anyway and so I asked Uncle
John to make arrangements for me to leave for the country. As soon
as the house was ready, I was heavily dosed with laudanum, taken to
a carriage and relocated to the lodge in Leicestershire. It was far
enough away that Frances would never think to find me there, yet
close enough that I didn’t need to travel for days in discomfort.
Given what had happened the night before the wedding,” she
hesitated but ploughed on anyway. “When you made it clear that you
wanted your mistress, I knew that in all conscience I couldn’t
saddle you with a wife who couldn’t walk. I didn’t want you to feel
obligated to me because of the contracts or my injuries. So I
decided to get away from all of it and Uncle John helped
me.”

Rupert
lifted his hand to silence her and stared hard at her. “What do you
mean, what happened the night before the wedding? The conversation
with my father? I never made it clear that I wanted to keep
Barbara. If I recall that conversation I told my father to leave
her to me to deal with.” His heart hammered in his throat and he
studied her closely but knew deep in his heart of hearts what she
was about to say. He was stunned. Simply stunned.