Getting Old Is a Disaster (28 page)

  "We done now?" Ida asks.

  Evvie lugs out her dry clothes. "Done."

  The secret society meeting is over and it's time to head for our homes. Except for me. Evvie beckons me to stay. She says, "We should go over and tell Enya. She must be on pins and needles. First I gotta finish my laundry."

It's past ten o'clock by the time Evvie's laundry is done. Lights are out everywhere. Evvie and I tiptoe along the second-floor landing where Evvie and Enya live. I take a quick look at Abe's kitchen window. No light there. Evvie leaves her filled laundry basket in front of her apartment.

  Enya's been told we're coming, so she is waiting right at the door.

  We slip into her apartment quickly. Enya looks a little better now that Mary is taking care of her.

  "I'm so ashamed," she says. "About the way I behaved."

  "Nonsense," says Evvie. "You had good reason."

  Enya leads us to the living room. Evvie and I sit down on her old horsehair sofa. "Do you want anything?"

  "No, thank you," we say.

  Enya sits down at the edge of her chair and looks at us like she's a prisoner at the dock, waiting to hear the verdict.

  I say, "Enya, we believe you. But we have a very big problem. Without knowing his real name, our hands are tied. We have to have proof."

  Enya shakes her head. "If only I could remember. There were so many of them. We never knew their names. But this one,
Der Bösewicht
—we gave him that nickname because he frightened us more than any of the others—he was truly evil."

  Evvie adds, "We aren't giving up. We'll find a way to prove you're right."

  Enya's tears start to flow. The tension this woman has to be under must be unbearable. She comes over to us and grabs one of my hands and one of Evvie's. "Thank you. Thank you."

  Still clutching our hands, Enya is lost in her troubled thoughts for a few moments. "The things they did, he did. I cannot bear to speak of them. I will not put you through having to listen to these abominations." She pauses, wipes the tears from her eyes. "That he has lived freely among us for nearly fifty years horrifies me. That he lived as a Jewish man is unbearable."

  She stares into space. How she survived what she went through is almost unimaginable to me. I say, "I know you're exhausted. Try to rest. We'll keep bringing food to you. Stay put. Do not go out, and be very careful before you answer the door."

  "I am so frightened. Does he know I recognized him?"

  She walks with us to the door. "Bless you for caring."

  We hug and kiss her and tiptoe out.

G
ood news travels faster than the speed of

     light. At least that's the way it seems in Lanai Gardens, Phase Two. This beautiful morning at the pool is the perfect place to hand out invitations to the Gladdy-Jack engagement party, which we had made up a few days ago. Bella and Sophie are assigned one end of the pool to dole them out, as far from Abe as possible. Evvie and Ida take the section that includes Abe, seated as usual behind the little black metal gate in the shade. Watching us, I now realize, always watching us.

  My job is to wander about, showing off my ring, wearing a silly grin.

  Sophie and Bella have on large, floppy sun hats, and huge wraparound very dark sunglasses, terrified of letting their faces show their fear. Any more mistakes in what they do or say could be danger ous. They're in trouble, as it is, for spilling the beans to Abe. They especially won't look in our alleged Nazi's direction, afraid he can read them like a book.

  From what I can see of his eyes, behind the thick glasses, they seem hooded. You don't fool me,
Oberführer.
I know you're watching us like a hawk. But you've met your match in Evvie Markowitz, who is heading over right now to hand you your invitation. I leisurely stroll by to catch the action.

  He will try to stare Evvie down, but she, who believes she might have been an Oscar-winning actress had life not tossed her into marrying Joe, won't blink. "This is for you, Abe," says Evvie, playing an older Little Miss Sunshine. "And don't you try to wiggle out of coming." That's said with a waggling hand demonstrating the wiggle. "Stanley and Esther already RSVP'd because they know we're doing it right. Steinberg's kosher restaurant is catering."

  Stanley was happy about my news and told me how he and Abe sometimes after temple go out for lunch at Steinberg's, their favorite eating place. Perfect.

  Abe manages what I read as a slick smile. "I wouldn't think of missing it."

  Tessie arrives at the gate, carrying a now empty soup tureen. I knew she would be passing by, since it was I who planted this idea in her head, to bring the poor "flu" victim some chicken soup.

  "How's Enya doing?" I say, not looking at Abe.

I have to keep calling him Abe and thinking of him as Abe or I'll lose my cool.

  "A little better," Tessie reports. "Poor thing. I can't believe how high her fever went the other night. Lucky she didn't die."

  Well done, Tessie. I couldn't have scripted it better myself. But, of course, we've been spreading that "dangerous case of flu" story with "Enya becoming delirious" for days. Since Tessie knows nothing, she reveals nothing.

  Hy, after immediately responding yes to the party, announces, "For this great occasion, a toast." He lifts his Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray tonic bottle and points toward Jack and me, the engaged couple. Jack, from where he lounges, reading a Michael Connolly detective novel, nods. I perform a silly curtsy.

  I look around to see the response. Mary and Irving smile happily. Barbi and Casey grin slyly. Tessie sits down next to her hubby and shouts, "Hooray!" Sol shakes his head sadly. I guess marriage isn't agreeing with him. Aha, Louise is sitting there with her mouth wide open in shock. Close your mouth, lady. As my mom used to say, You don't want to let the flies in. Tiny Dora is jumping up and down. I can't believe it, is that a TV clicker in her hand?

  Directly across the way, in Denny's garden, he and Yolie stop their planting and pay attention to what's going on. They are thrilled at what they hear.

  Tessie takes another look at her invitation. "Wait a minute. This Friday. So fast?"

  Hy, annoyed at being interrupted, says, "At our age, who makes long-term plans?"

  Tessie, suitably chastened, shuts up.

  Hy instructs, "Those who have bottles to raise, get 'em up." Water bottles and juices wave on high. Those without beverages just wave.

  "To the engaged couple . . ." He indicates we should come to him. In order to make this plan of ours look like all is back to normal, we agreed earlier to put up with whatever nonsense comes up. Naturally, it would be Hy who finds a way to torment us. Jack rises from his chaise, and he and I walk over to where Hy is now standing. Jack kisses me and whispers, "Any excuse, babe."

  Hy hands Lola his drink and puts one arm across my shoulders and one across Jack's. I grit my teeth.

  Hy stares into my eyes and speaks loud enough for all to hear—and believe me, everyone is zoomed onto us and listening. "Here's to the love that lies in a woman's eyes—and lies and lies and lies."

  I try to pull away, but he doesn't let me. Everybody laughs. He leers at Jack, whose turn it is. Watch out, Hy, Jack's no pushover.

  Hy's eyes practically twinkle. Lola stands behind him, ready to save him from Jack if necessary. He says, "Here's to the happiest days of your life, spent in the arms of another man's wife!"

  Hy pulls his hands away, fast. Jack shakes his fist mildly in a pretense of anger.

  Hy pulls Lola in front of him for protection. Jack wouldn't hit a woman, would he? "It's your
mother.
In your
mother's
arms," Hy croaks. Then weakly, "She's another man's wife, right?"

  Jack, who towers above little Hy, reaches past Lola and runs his hands playfully over Hy's balding head. "Good one," Jack says, laughing.

  I'm glad that's finished.

* * *

On our way back from the pool, Evvie, as instructed, knocks on Enya's door. Enya peers through the peephole, then barely opens it.

  "Are you all right?" Evvie asks.

  Enya nods. "Yes."

  "Need anything?" I ask.

  "No, I'm fine. Tessie's soup will hold me."

  "Just checking. Things are moving along."

  "Thank you," she says.

  They gaze at each other, lips smiling, but their eyes reveal their fear.

  "He was there, wasn't he?" Enya asks.

  "He always is," Evvie says. "Listening to every word we say, watching every move we make."

  "Be careful. He is the Devil."

  "We will."

A
re you crazy?" Sophie asks. "Tomorrow?"

       "He'll kill you if he catches you," Bella speaks up, shaking with fear.

  "Yes tomorrow," says Joe, who seems to have slid into place as the newest addition to our investigating group, and nobody seems to mind. Neither is Evvie complaining about the fact that Joe sticks to her like flypaper. Hmm, whatever happened to that gooey, disgusting product? I wonder for no good reason whatsoever.

  Evvie also agrees. "Yes, let's move it up."

  Ida says, "I can't wait. I wish we could do it now. The tension is killing me."

  We sit in a secluded area near Denny's beautiful garden. No one is around usually at mid-afternoon. It's rest time or preparing-dinner time or off to early-bird-dinner time. Quiet enough for what we're scheming. We even have knitting and crocheting stuff in our laps in case anyone does come by and is curious.

  Evvie says, "Tomorrow, being just before the Sabbath, we know for sure Abe will be at the synagogue most of the day."

  "But why would you want to do it on the day of your party? It'll be a zoo." Bella doesn't like any of this. Short notice always makes her nervous.

  "That's what I'm counting on," I answer. "People will be too busy to see what we're up to. Besides, I'll be a wreck waiting for the party—I already have my outfit picked out, so at least this will keep me busy."

  Joe has a worry. "What if he doesn't go to temple?"

  "He always goes on Friday," says Evvie.

  Joe can't let it go. "But what if . . ."

  Evvie puts her fingers on his lips. "Shhh, worrywart."

  "We can always get him out on a pretense," says Ida.

  "Like what?" Sophie asks.

  "We can tell him there's a meeting of the Bund," Ida says wickedly.

  Evvie, Joe, and I grimace. We're all old enough to remember there was once an actual club of members of the Nazi party right here in our country.

  "Kidding," says Ida. "We'll think of something. But there's no reason for him to change his routine."

  Bella raises her hand. "But . . . but I have to go to the beauty parlor."

  Evvie says, "Bella, honey, you and Sophie always have early-morning Friday appointments. You'll have plenty of time to help us."

  I cut in. "Let me say a few words here. I doubt that Abe has been fooled by our charade and I have a very strong feeling that he is up to something. I can't even imagine what he might be planning. Frankly, I'm afraid to guess. I feel we need to move fast and catch him off guard."

  "Besides," Ida says, "we can't keep Enya locked up forever. We have to find a way to end this."

  "Okay," says Evvie, "let's go over it again. Naturally, as president of the Condo Association, I have, like Denny, a master key of all apartments. We make sure no one's looking, and we sneak in."

  I wait for Bella and Sophie to stop squirming, and I say, "Bella and Sophie are on watch, sitting in the back of my car with a cell phone."

  Bella raises her hand. "I still don't get that."

  Sophie pokes her. "I do. It's right across from Abe's parking spot, so we'll know exactly when he drives in. And he won't see us."

  Bella nods slowly, digesting the information again.

  I say, "Ida, Evvie, and I do the search. Joe waits with Enya in her Florida room, next door, in case we have to make an emergency exit. If so, we climb from Abe's apartment into Enya's, with Joe's help."

  Luckily for us, the hurricane blew out all our sunroom screens and none of us have fixed them yet.

  "What do we tell Enya?" Bella asks.

  I say, "We tell her exactly what we're doing."

  Sophie asks, "What if you don't find anything?"

  "Honestly, I don't know," I say. "We just have to hope we do."

  Joe says, "I have a question for you, Glad. What will you tell Jack?"

  Before I can answer, a familiar voice is heard behind me. "Tell Jack what?" my beloved asks as he walks up to us. "I've been searching all over for you. What's this, some kind of class?"

  Everyone freezes on the spot. I thought I'd be alone when I dealt with Jack on this subject, but no such luck. I take a deep breath. "We've been discussing a plan on how to prove Abe's guilt."

  Silence as Jack looks from one anxious face to another.

  "Speaking of guilt," he says. "May I make a guess?"

  Sophie and Bella nod frantically. They squirm around in their chairs, wishing, I assume, that they were anywhere but here.

  "What I read in your faces is that you've already decided on a plan."

  More nods from those two. Everyone else remains rigid.

  "And since I wasn't included in this gettogether . . ." He pauses to address Joe. "Knitter or crocheter?"

  Joe shrugs, flashing a silly grin along with it. "Family kibitzer," he explains.

  Jack continues, "Perhaps this plan has something not quite kosher about it?"