Getting Lucky (The Marilyns) (20 page)

“Absolutely. You can’t trust people who move halfway across the planet in search of a more wholesome life. It’s not like England was the freak-parade capital of the universe.” She shrugged. “Plus, men who wear shiny buckles on their shoes aren’t exactly sexy. On second thought, they probably moved halfway around the world to get some. Let’s face it, there’s no better setup than being the only white men around for thousands of miles.” Mama nodded to herself. “Now, I’m thinking that demon possession was a possibility. Think about it—how else could those men have talked the women into leaving everything behind, getting on a boat, and moving to the middle of nowhere? Satan certainly had a hand in it, because no sane woman is going to give up semi-adequate toilet facilities for love.” She cocked her head to the left like she was weighing the odds. “Then again, I like to think that Satan has better fashion sense and wouldn’t have chosen people who wore those stupid white collars. Now I’m not so sure about the possession.” She nodded. “Maybe it was some sort of copycat demon, you know, like designer knock-off purses? He looks like Satan from faraway, but up close, you can always tell. The devil’s in the details.”

Confusion played across Mandy’s face.

“We call them Mama’s random ramblings. Just nod and smile.” Lucky nodded and smiled.

Mama stuck out her tongue. “I thought I taught you to respect your elders.”

“Hush, now, the grown-ups are talking.” Lucky smiled at Mandy.

They walked into Lucky’s bedroom and headed for the closet.

“Now, Mandy, I plan on teaching you the fine art of flirting both with words and body language. Honestly, though, men are so terrible at reading body language that I don’t know why I bother, but still, on the off chance that you meet a guy who picks up on it, you should know the basics.” Mama headed to the closet and threw back the double doors.

Lucky had always been particularly proud of her closet. It was two stories of sheer beauty. In the back, floor-to-ceiling shoe racks lined the wall. The walls on either side of the shoes held racks for hanging clothes. The remaining wall, apart from having the door, held hooks for purses, hats, scarfs, and other accessories. A spiral staircase joined all the levels, and in the middle of the room was a waist-high island that held all of her jewelry.

Mandy walked in and stopped, taking it all in. “Wow, this is bigger than our old house and Mrs. Crawley’s next door combined.” She didn’t sound angry, just awed.

“Good closet space is so important.” Mama nodded. “You never can have enough.” Mama gestured to the shoe wall. “Pick out your flirting shoes.”

Lucky glanced at the shoe wall. There were five empty rows, and the remaining twenty rows were half-full. That was still a lot of shoes. Now, all the time she’d spent acquiring all these things seemed wasted. For so long, her life had been about buying things to fill the loneliness. Whenever she’d brought up the subject of loneliness with Ricky, he’d sent her off on a shopping spree. Therapeutic shopping to fill the void in her life…. How shallow did that make her?

Slowly, she turned around, taking in the wall-to-wall designer items. This was the only accomplishment she had a right to claim. It was a poor substitute for a family.

“What size do you wear?” Mama was helping Mandy try on shoes.

“An eight.” Mandy still looked a little shocked by the size and amount of stuff.

“Lucky is a ten regular, so these will be a little large.” Mama selected some six-inch stilettos in black silk. “These are okay, but some rhinestones would class them right up.”

“You’re not bedazzling those Christian Louboutins.” Lucky walked over to stand behind Mandy. “How about those Lanvin pumps?”

Mama turned around and looked down her nose at Lucky. “Those are the single ugliest things I have ever seen. Somewhere there’s a nun missing her shoes. You better start the Hail Marys now, because God strikes down those who steal from nuns.”

Lucky stuck out her tongue. “Ricky loved these shoes.”

For a split second, she thought about putting them on and prancing around in front of him, but then the reality that he was dead stabbed her right in the heart. He’d been gone for more than a year and a half, but sometimes her brain failed to register that fact.

She smiled to cover the sadness. She picked up the shoes and ran her fingers over the smooth black leather. He’d called them her sexy librarian shoes.

Both Mandy and Mama stared at her. The moment turned awkward. The only time she’d spoken of him in front of either one was about his being a father. She’d never referred to him as a man or in the context of their marriage.

“Whatcha doing?” Vivi called from the bedroom.

“Learning the valuable life skill called flirting. Come on in … no wait…” Mama handed Mandy the ultra-high Loubies. “Go round up your younger sister. She needs to know the basics too.”

An hour later, Mama, Lucky, and the girls were all dressed up in cocktail dresses, tiaras, jewelry dripping from ears, necks, and arms, and all wearing high-heeled shoes. Mama had showed the girls the fine art of flirting, along with how to walk, run, prance, and skip in high heels.

“What’s in here?” Vivi called from the bedroom.

Even from deep inside her closet, Lucky could hear the handle turning on the other set of double doors in her bedroom.

“No, wait.” In four strides, she was out of the closet and just in time to see the doors thrown wide open.

Ricky’s closet. It was just as he’d left it. Shoes carelessly tossed all over the floor and clothes hanging half on, half off the hangers. His favorite leather jacket was slung over the back of the chair he used for tying his shoes. Sheepskin-lined slippers—his favorites—were right next to the door. He’d been wearing them the morning of the live show but had stepped out of them in favor of leather boots because he thought slippers weren’t dressy enough for TV. One small corner of her mind had her craning her neck looking for him in the closet. Her heart waited for him to come walking out, smart-ass grin on his face, and tell her to hurry up because they were going to be late. But that was ridiculous because he was gone…. He was dead.

Her feet were glued to the carpet. She couldn’t move forward or turn around and run away. She just stood there staring into a closet full of mementos that had made up a life. He was gone … forever. She would never hear his voice calling her name or feel the rasp of his five o’clock shadow on her cheek or run her fingers through his unruly tangle of blond hair. She would no longer be the victim of his practical jokes or hear his laughter or wait up half the night for him to come home, now knowing that he was with another woman. Every piece of clothing had memories woven into the fabric and love stitched into the seams. Every item was a reminder of a life lived and the promise of a future that would not be.

Vivi slid her thin arm around Lucky’s waist. “These are his things … my father’s.”

Lucky nodded because she didn’t trust her voice.

“Why do you look so sad?”

“I just…” Lucky’s voice cracked. “I miss him.”

Recognizing it and saying it out loud gave the grief a little less power.

Vivi leaned into her and rested her head against Lucky. “Me too.”

She missed that he hummed when he was in a good mood and loved peanut butter and always had butterscotch lifesavers in his pocket and couldn’t read a map and liked C.J. Box novels. He loved Lucky Charms but hated the marshmallows so he picked them out and gave them to her. She was beginning to forget the details that had made the man. She’d spent so much time focusing on the bad that the good things had faded into the background.

For the last eighteen months, she’d been running from the grief. She’d nursed her ball of hate to fill the void he’d left in her life. It was time to let him go. On shaking legs, she walked into the closet. Vivi followed alongside her.

Picking up the leather jacket, she brought it to her nose. His scent was everywhere, and she drank it in. Her eyes went to the lonely slippers waiting for his feet to fill them.

Tears came hard and fast.

Lonely slippers… The feet they’d molded themselves around were gone and never coming back. The slippers dissolved into a watery haze. Arms came around her, and she looked down to find not only Vivi but Mandy and Dawnie hugging her. It occurred to Lucky that they were all Ricky’s girls, and they were now standing together—holding each other up—as they each sifted through their own memories of the man they’d loved. In a roundabout way, Ricky had given her the family she’d always wanted. It wasn’t perfect or traditional, but it was hers.

In the company of the only family she would ever know, she finally allowed herself to let go and embrace the heartache. Lucky went quietly and thoroughly to pieces, and with each sob, the love and comfort that her daughters surrounded her in mended the deep cracks of her shattered heart.

Will leaned against the doorjamb of Ricky’s closet and just watched. He didn’t ever think he’d seen anything as beautiful and heartbreaking.

“Are these leather?” Mandy held out a pair of black pants for Lucky’s inspection.

Lucky nodded. “Unfortunately. Your father had a thing for leather pants.” She pointed to the back of the closet. “See that rack on the back wall? That was the leather pant rack.”

“Green leather pants?” Vivi sounded like she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Again, unfortunately.” Lucky smiled. “I called them the Jolly Green Giant pants. He never wore them after I made fun of them.” She cocked her head to the left. “On second thought, I should have made fun of more of his clothes.”

“I like these.” Dawnie stepped into a pair of rhinestone-studded cowboy boots he’d used on stage. The boots came up over her knees. She clomped around in them. “Can I have them?”

“Sure.” Lucky turned around and caught Will staring at her.

She was dressed in a skintight black sequin dress and mega high heels. The woman had legs for days. He couldn’t have stopped his eyes from roaming down her body if he’d tried. When they landed on her face, he noticed that her eyes were swollen and red. She’d been crying, and hard. He went to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“You don’t have to go through his things now. It can wait.” He didn’t want her to hurt anymore, but he was helpless to stop her pain.

“You know what? I’m good. I’ve got my girls here helping me, and we’re having a fine time making fun of Ricky’s bizarre sense of fashion.” Lucky smiled brightly, and it was genuine.

Lucky had called them “her girls.” Will hadn’t known a heart could smile, but his did, and he’d probably be wearing a stupid grin on his face for weeks. Lucky loved the girls, and she wasn’t going anywhere. Love tinged with relief swelled inside his chest. She was staying. It was more than he could have ever wished for.

She took both of his hands and pulled him to her. “Come play with us. We’re cleaning out and making room for the new.”

“Yeah, we’re cleaning out Daddy’s old stuff to make room for a new man for Wow.” Dawnie picked Cuddles up off the floor and clomped around in the way-too-large boots.

“A new man.” His heart fell out, rolled around on the floor, and landed at Lucky’s feet. Please let it be him.

“That’s right. She’s got her eye on someone, and we like him.” Vivi winked.

“Oh.” His world stopped spinning. She’d already found someone. What about the other night? He’d never really thought of her as a cheater.

“Who is he?” His voice didn’t wobble too much.

Lucky winked. “Well, he’s taller than me and has more eyelashes than any one person should be allowed, and he works out all of the time.”

The image of a hulking body builder popped into his mind. “So you’re looking for someone athletic?”

He was athletic, and he had thick eyelashes.

She slid her hands up his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Not looking for so much as looking at.”

Understanding cut through the haze of panic. She was talking about him. In her heels, they were eye to eye. She leaned into him and kissed him hard on the mouth. He closed his eyes, pulled her closer, and kissed her back with all the love he’d kept hidden. He melted into her. She wanted him. Lucky wanted him. She was his, and he was hers. It was too soon for permanent promises, but this was their start. He would have his happy ending if it killed him.

Hoots and clapping came from behind Lucky as the girls looked on with approval. They were okay with it? He hadn’t counted on acceptance. He’d told the girls they were dating, but this was more.

“Girls, let’s give these lovebirds a little privacy.” Mama came to the rescue.

Will opened his eyes, pulled back a fraction, and nodded his thanks to Mama.

“Who’s up for ice cream?” She pointed to the door.

“Already had some today, but I could try to choke down some more.” Mandy smiled and patted Will on the shoulder. She was giving her blessing.

Vivi nodded at Will. “It’s about time.”

Dawnie waved Cuddles’s paw. “Don’t forget what I told you about your private lady parts.”

And then they were gone, leaving only him and Lucky in a room surrounded by Ricky’s things.

“I love you, Will.” Lucky looked him directly in the eye. “I realized today that I needed to grieve for Ricky so I could put him in my past and move on. Also, I know now that it’s been a long time since I was in love with him. I miss him as I would miss a best friend but not a lover. The feelings I have for you are stronger than anything I’ve ever felt for Ricky—”

“Say it again.” He needed to hear it again just to make sure he’d heard her correctly.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” Lucky tunneled her fingers through his hair.

Tears—unmanly things—burned his eyes. “I’ve waited almost half my life to hear those words. Say it again.”

“I love you.”

The words lingered on his brain and etched themselves on his heart. She loved him. Lucky loved him.

He took her hand and pulled her out of the closet. He let go and nudged her toward the bedroom door. “Lock the door.”

“Why?” Lucky was puzzled.