Gettin' Hooked (15 page)

Kayla
and James had had sex again. I knew from the first sec I walked back into James's dorm room. The room was dark, aside from the green digital clock and the glowin' yellow of the low-playin' stereo.

The heat felt heavy, especially compared to the crispness of the nighttime outdoors. And it smelled of sweat and booty-juice like it does at house parties when folks have shaken their asses a little too hard.

My eyes slowly adjustin' to the darkness, I stood just inside the entryway of the room, Maurice's big body warm and solid right behind me. No damn way did I wanna catch them in the act, so I closed my eyes and listened for movements or signs of action comin' from the bed.

When I heard nada, I narrowed my eyes as my gaze traveled to the narrow bed they shared, ready to slam my lids shut again if they were smashin'. The covers were wrapped around them and both were asleep. The slow, long breaths gave them away.

They both had shirts on, but I was hella sure that was for our benefit. Kayla's blond hair was a ratty mess, one bare leg dangled out of under the blankets. I stared at her, tryin' hella hard to repress the resentment I felt. The anger over the secrets she'd kept from me.

Me.
Her best friend. Her cousin. Her blood.

Though I tried to bottle it up, a shiver traveled down my spine. I think maybe my brain was tryin' to sort out the mess of all the straight-up junk that happened to me tonight.

Or maybe it was just my body gettin' used to the heat of the room, slowly startin' to shed the chill. Or it coulda been the faint odor of what they'd done earlier that was trippin' me out.

At least they'd lit a stick of incense, the rose scent leavin' the odor of sex faint. But still there. My stomach hurt and I had to swallow down my gag reflex.

My gaze roamed slowly to the bed I'd be sharin' with Maurice tonight. It was half the size of the one we'd shared the night before, and even with all that space we'd come close doin' the do.

Tonight we'd be pressed closer. But we'd also be sharin' a room. I gulped a breath of air. I was so confused, wantin' to share myself with my boy, wantin' him to be my first. I'd wanted that for a long time.

But I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't scared. My knees wobbled with it. I knew it wouldn't go down tonight, not with Kayla and James a bed away. Wouldn't be special here, like it's supposed to be. But it would happen with us. It was the
one
thing I was sure 'bout tonight. Him.

He must have guessed at what I was thinkin', hangin' back by the door, my head angled toward the bed we'd be gettin' in.

His hand touched my shoulder, now covered in his blue Bape jacket. Gentle, but so reassuring, he held me, then leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “I'll just hold ya tonight.”

Like he'd held me for the last couple hours.

With no place to go after Maurice caught up with me, we'd found a bench tucked away along an unlit walkway on campus. And then Maurice had held me on his lap, his jacket thrown over us, his strong arms holdin' me tight as my body shook with sobs.

He kept on holdin' me, too, with one hand strokin', sensitive-like, up and down my spine. And he listened as I poured out all the pain of the knife wedged into my heart. Then he'd murmur just the right thangs, tenderly wiping away my tears.

So we'd sat that way for hours, warm in each other's arms, but in the cold of deep night. Just me and him, nearly a thousand miles from home, in a cocoon of darkness and understandin'.

“Hold me, then.” It was just a whisper, just a mere mouthin' of the words as I glanced over my shoulder at him, his profile so hexa fine in the shadows. Twinin' our fingers so he fell into step with me when I moved toward the bed, I wanted him to know how much I dug what he'd done for me on this whack-ass night.

“Hold me, boo.”

He chuckled low in his throat, then kicked off his shoes. I dropped his jacket over the back of a chair. Though I'd brought something to sleep in, I didn't wanna make a fuss over lookin' for it. I'd sleep in the small mini and halter top. Heck, it was almost like bein' nothin' but bra and panties.

“Do you want the wall?” he asked, his voice low and close.

“No.” I pressed a hand to my stomach. It'd been rollin' and a tad unsettled since the fog of alcohol wore off. “In case I need the bathroom.”

His laugh broke through the stillness. “I'm feelin' ya.”

He settled into the bed, his back to the wall. We'd have had more room if I'd put my back to his chest, spoon style, but I wanted to look at him. Wanted to be able to see the glimmer in his eyes, the cuteness of his dimples, lips that made me weak. So I got in facin' him, then drew the blanket up over us.

His arm wrapped around me, the cool night lingerin' on his skin and clothing, he cuddled me all tender like. It'd be dawn in a few hours. We'd be leavin' in the mornin'. I knew that and I was ready. Ready to go home and face the mess of thangs left behind there. Ready to deal with my daddy and Gram. Ready to confront the anger of my friends when GettinHooked.com was shut down.

But tonight?
I just wasn't ready to let it end.

“Maurice?”

His eyes were closed, I could see his lashes restin' on his cheeks. “Hmm.”

Squeezin' an arm between us, I touched his face. Like I'd done my eyes in the window, I traced the shape of his lips with my fingertips. But he was warm and hella real. My image had been an illusion.

His breath caressed my hand as he smiled.

“I've liked ya forevah.” His smile widened, I could feel it in the darkness. My fingers moved from his lips to smooth across the dents of his dimples. The booze was long gone, so there was no blamin' it for my confessin'. Just showin' my boo my heart, he'd seen so much of it tonight already.

“Ya have?”

“Fa shizzle.”

He shifted. His hand came up and brushed aside a few outta-control curls, then stroked his palm across my hair. “How come ya never said nothin' 'bout likin' me?”

“I wanted to.”

“You shoulda.”

There was a lump in my throat that I had to swallow twice to get rid of. “I was afraid.” The whisper was so low I wasn't sure he heard me at first. He was silent, his breath even. Maybe he'd fallen asleep.

I allowed my fingers to slide across his skin, now losin' the feel of bein' outside. Through the murkiness of darkness, I stared at his mouth, the smile slightly faded now, his lips full and temptin'. Figurin' he'd fallen asleep, I resisted the urge to kiss him as I wanted to.

“Afraid of what?”

His hoarse drowsy words startled me. Liftin' my gaze to his eyes, I realized he wasn't sleepin' but starin' straight at me, all intense and unwaverin'.

“That…” I cleared my throat. “That you didn't like me, too.”

“We been marinatin' for a minute, shortie.” His thumb stroked across my cheek and he brushed aside my hair again. He kissed me, light and unexpected, on my lips.

“Lots of peeps hang out.”

“Cup cakin', that's what I been doin' with ya.”

When we'd come back here tonight, I'd hella thought I'd cried out all my crazy-ass tears. I was wrong. They burned in my eyes now and seeped from my lashes.

“Don't do that, Imani.” A tear landed on his fingers.

“Don't cry over me, girl. Don't ever cry over me. I promise, I'll never give ya reason.”

Oh, lawdy, I was hexa losin' it tonight, makin' a straight fool of myself. I sniffled, figuring that wasn't much after all the boo-hooing I'd done earlier on his shoulder. “Oh.”
Dayum,
could that have sounded any more pathetic?

“I've been feelin' ya, too, for a long-ass time.”

My heart did this little rat-a-tat beat hard against my ribs, makin' me wonder if Maurice could feel it, we were that close. My pulse was hella pickin' up speed. “Why didn't you say anything?”

“Was 'bout to ask Kayla if you were talkin' to anyone, but then you started up your site 'n' I figured you were lookin' for someone else.”

A half snort, half laugh escaped my lips. “Can I tell you something?”

His large hand smoothed across my cheek, his fingers tanglin' in a few escapee ringlets. “Fo' sho', anything.”

“I started GettinHooked.com for you.”

He chuckled low and husky at the back of his throat. It made me smile. “Oh, yeah? For me, shortie?”

“Yup. For you. So I could figure out a way to get hooked up with you.”

He kissed my brow again, the caress of his lips so sweet. The heat of it lingered for a sec; the memory will last. “Imani, don'tcha know, all ya had to do is look at me 'n' I was yours. You wanted to get hooked, I've
been
hooked on you since the first time I saw you going to your cousin's.”

There's this hella whack place between laughter and tears, and I was crazy mixed in it right then. “Boo, you tellin' me I did all this for nothin'?”

“Nah. For this.” And those soft lips of his landed on mine. He slanted, swipin' his tongue across mine, pressin' in a little deeper. But the kiss eased off just as my bones were gettin' set to melt. “There's gonna be a time for that. I'm holdin' ya tonight, remember?”

He chuckled as he tightened his hold on me, then laughed again when I yawned.

“It's been a fucked-up night.”

“Yep.” He kissed the corner of my eye. “But it's gonna be chill, you'll see. It'll be all gravy, shortie.” The way he whispered the words into the air so close to my ear, the flutter of his breath shimmered across my skin and made me feel like I could believe him.

“Folks are gonna be mad 'bout Gettin' Hooked being shut down. They been diggin' the hell out of it.”

He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. I already knew he agreed with me, our wild chase after my cousin to 'Zona had proved it, no matter how it'd turned out. “We'll figure…it out…” His words were coming more spaced out, his breaths lengthening, sleep comin' on as fast for him as it was for me.

Curlin' my fingers into his shirt, I pulled myself just a tad closer, his warmth chasin' the night away, his heat makin' my eyelids hella heavy. And as Maurice's even breathing washed across my cheek, my mind went to mush again, like earlier when I was faded. My thoughts drifted from our journey home, to my friendship with Kayla, to all Gram had done for me, then exhaustion won and sle…

It wasn't
fixin' to be an easy mornin'; actually, the entire day was gonna end up whack. I knew this from the first second I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock. It was pushing noon, but the single small window in the dorm room was covered with a blackout drape. No sun had crept in and the room was still dark and cool.

We'd all overslept despite wantin' to be up so we could creep out of 'Zona just as we'd crept in—quick 'n' be done with it. Except on our return trip we had planned on leavin' early enough that we wouldn't have to spend the night out on the road. That plan was probably shot to hell since Maurice was our only driver and the day was half gone already.

And with Kayla along for the return journey, I hella dreaded spendin' a night in a telly again. I clenched my jaw, my body filled with tension, the remainin' resentment I was havin' trouble gettin' over.

How could my girl do me like that? How could Gram?

My shoulders were a little stiff, the need to stretch tuggin' hard at me, but with Maurice's big muscular body takin' up most of the narrow bed, there was no place to move without fallin' smack on the floor.

The weight of his arm had grown heavy on my waist, long fingers seepin' down to curve over my hip. Once I'd fallen asleep it'd been a warm cozy haven in Maurice's arms, but that hadn't been till near dawn.
Not enough time to actually feel rested,
I thought as I stifled a yawn with the back of my hand, then swiped away the escapin' tears from my eyes.

Easin' a foot to the floor, I shimmied from my boo's arms and out of bed, finally able to stretch my achin' shoulders and back. Then a right quick trip to the little girls' room to relieve my poor bladder that was hexa taxed after last night's booze. Something that still had my tummy doin' waves.

Back in the dorm room, I turned on James's computer, then waited for it to warm up. There was somethin' hella strange 'bout sittin' there in the room listenin' to the three of them sleep, knowin' all that I now knew.

There was this big part of me that didn't even feel like the same person I'd been before all this business with GettinHooked.com and my momma, who never really wanted to be my mom anyhow.

Glancin' at the computer screen as Windows loaded, I caught the reflection of my image, wild untamed curls bouncin' every which way around my face, light brown skin, and eyes I knew came from Kayla's side of my gene pool.

I reached for the screen, then pulled away before my fingertips made contact. I'd meant to trace my eyes again, the same way I'd done against the glass the night before, my mind caught up on how similar they were to Kayla's.

And my momma's.

Takin' a deep breath, I shoved away the tears burnin' hella bad at the back of my eyes. I'd said once I wasn't ever gonna cry over her. She didn't deserve it, didn't deserve my sorrow, my pain. She's the one who walked away.

I dismissed last night's sobbin' to having been hexa faded, and those tears had been 'bout betrayal anyhow. Kayla's, Gram's, not my momma's. I was over her. Over missin' her. I wanted to forget 'bout all the lingering questions over why she straight left me.

Turning slightly, I shot a glance at my cousin sleepin' tucked against James on the narrow single bed. Part of me wanted to stomp over to the bed and shake her ass hard, demand to know why she'd spent my entire life lying to me. I tugged in a breath and gripped Maurice's jacket. I tossed the jacket over my bare shoulders, to keep my hands from trembling.

But there was a big part of me that was trippin' hard, wanted like crazy to go back to the way things were. Or at least to be able to figure out how to get over all the whacked shit that had gone down.

Part of me wanted to forgive. Forgive Kayla for not tellin' me that she saw my momma, and how often. Forgive my gram for knowin', too, and providin' my momma with pics of me over the years. Like the woman gave a shit.

And on top of forgivin', I wanted to forget. I wanted so hella bad to forget that my brain was going dumb with it.

I needed time to let it all settle. Needed time to sort shit out.

The computer bleeped to let me know the operating system was ready, yankin' my attention back to it and away from my cousin. Remindin' me that lyin' kinfolk wasn't the only problem I still had to work out.

Openin' up a page right quick, I logged onto GettinHooked, my breath still in my lungs as I watched the profile numbers roll into place. Crap. Holy crap. I squeezed my lids closed, then opened them again.

We'd pushed over five grand now, and as off the chain as that was, it was too outta pockets for two teen girls who'd just been lookin' for a way to find prom dates for themselves and their friends.

I mean, dayum, we were in a dorm room a state away from home. “Shhhiiiittt,” I murmured, droppin' my forehead into my palms.

“Imani? Can we talk?” It was Kayla's soft voice, thick with sleep, and sincere. I knew her well enough to hear the remorse in her tone even without lookin' at her face or big blue eyes.

I shook my head. Hell nah, I wasn't ready for this.

“I'm sorry, Imani.” She waited a sec. “I didn't want to hurt you.”

But she had. The pain of knowin' she'd known all this time was hexa sharper than the pain of knowin' my momma had been within reach all this time and done nothin' to see me. I inhaled, catchin' the scent of the stale alcohol and Maurice's cologne mingled up on my skin.

“Not right now, K.” I swallowed, 'cause the lump in my throat was makin' it hard to talk. “I really don't wanna do this now, aiight.”

“Okay,” she whispered, and I could hear the way her emotions caught on the single word.

Usin' my fingertips, I swiped away any remainin' moisture from my eyes before I lifted my head. I didn't want her knowin' I'd been cryin'. Again.

“Is there a way we can close down the site from here?” I angled the computer toward her.

She shook her head, sending long blond strands flying. “I don't think so.” She slid from the bed and knelt beside me. “Lemme see. We might be able to at least freeze it up so no one else can add until we get home and get access to my dad's server.”

“Freeze it up, then.”

She nodded, her fingers flying across the keys as she logged in. After a sec, she paused and looked at me. “Hey, Imani, do you think maybe there's a way we don't have to shut it down completely?”

I sucked air between my teeth. I didn't wanna fight with her, but I was already on the edge of losin' my temper hella bad. She must have sensed it, too, 'cause she rushed to go on.

“I'm just sayin', it was a good idea. The whole local-only prom date thang. What if there was some way we could make it be just that? Could we keep it then, ya think?”

“I don't know, K.”

“Like if my dad could help us with some security program or sumpthin'?”

I shrugged. “Lemme think 'bout it.”

She nodded, her clear blue eyes fixed on mine for a minute. I could see myself mirrored in the shimmer of her pupils. Could see all this emotion, and it was hella weird, because we were able to read each other so well.

And we just sat there like that for a sec, her kneelin' beside me, us starin' at each other, tryin' to get back to the chillness we'd always had.

It wasn't until I heard Maurice stir on the bed behind me that I broke my gaze from my cousin's and glanced over my shoulder in time to see Maurice feel around on the bed for me with his eyes closed.

Grinnin' like a damn fool, I looked back at Kayla. “You gotta pack or anythang? I'm ready to shower, 'n' roll.”

Her shoulders heaved, but she nodded, then turned away from me, headed back toward the bed and James.

I kinda wanted to give them a little bit of time alone, to say goodbye and all, 'cause the truth was, there was a pretty good chance they'd never see each other again and I felt bad for her. My man was goin' home with us, hers was staying here.

We were kinda silent, but filled with understandin' as Maurice and I gathered up our stuff, then headed toward the community bathrooms to get cleaned up and changed. After that, things just sorta flew by.

We'd met back up in the hallway about thirty minutes later, me out of my hoochie clothin' and back in sweats and ready for the road.

We headed for Maurice's car, puttin' our stuff into the trunk, then slid into our seats silently. He smiled at me, his hand findin' mine as he laced our fingers, and lounged back in the seat to wait.

It was oddly intimate to sit in the quiet of midday sunshine on the mostly deserted campus. Though we hadn't gone all the way—yet—we'd shared a lot, become so close over the last few days. I knew nothin' was gonna change that even when we were home.

This was the fella I was supposed to be with.

But the time sittin' there just kinda sealed the deal, just highlighted the fact that he'd been the one there for me, the one to hold my hand and brush away my tears.

“Thank you, boo,” I whispered, anglin' on the seat so I could peep out his face.

His eyes were closed and I knew he was as tired as I was and facin' a long drive. But his dimples deepened and his lids slowly lifted, revealin' deep dark eyes. “I'd do anythang for you, shortie.”

“You were there for me.”

“Always will be.”

I swallowed, then moistened my lips. “I…” I'd meant to say more, but Kayla was tappin' on the trunk so she could put her stuff in.

After a slow start, things started jumpin' off. Maurice and I were out of the car sayin' our goodbyes. The fellas exchanged cell numbers, then gave a pound. James hugged me, which was a little weird.

Then Maurice and I were back in our seats and Kayla was left outside with James. I knew they were kissin' probably for the last time, so I didn't try to hurry her up, but let her do her thang.

It didn't take long.

Just after one-thirty, we were on the road for home. Maurice, Kayla and I. He was still so hella fiiiinne. She was still my cousin, and my best friend.

We were the same peeps as we'd been before. Everything was the same. And everything was different, too.