Gentlemen Prefer Curves: A Perfect Fit Novel (36 page)

She gave Belinda a soft smile. “Mike says I’ve lost my mind, but in a cute way. I’ve got baby on the brain. I read something that said my baby had webbed fingers and toes until the end of my second month! Can you believe that? It’s like I have a little alien growing inside me. I can’t stop looking up the stages of pregnancy. I have this crazy need to know what’s going on inside me at all times.”

“I’m sure that’s normal. Are you scared that something might go wrong? I know I would be. Does it feel weird to have something growing inside you?”

She found herself thinking about that lately, about what it meant to be a mother.

“I am scared. I’m scared shitless. I know there are so many things that can go wrong. I don’t know my family history because I was adopted. There are so many things I want to know but can’t ask my mother. I have contact info for my real mom, but I don’t want to talk to her. I’m so glad that she gave me to Walter and Philippa, but I’m mad at her, too. I feel my baby growing inside me and I can’t imagine giving it up. Now I just wonder after feeling life grow inside her, how she could give it up.” She rested her hand on her belly. “Ugh. Ignore me. I thought I was over the adopted-kid issues. Being pregnant just brought a whole bunch of shit up.” Her eyes grew misty. “Damn.” She swiped at her tears. “I’m a mushy emotional wreck. I hate it! This baby is turning me into a goober.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Belinda hugged her. “It’s better than you being a raging bitch.”

“I’m tired and hungry and horny all the time. And Mike loves it. He walks around all day with a goofy smile on his face as if to say
I did that
. I want to smack him.”

“I’m happy for you, Ellie.” She was, and jealous of her, too. Ellis had done everything right. Belinda wondered if life could ever be that way for her.

“Thank you.” She pulled away and looked at Belinda. “I’ve been so preoccupied with my stuff lately I don’t know how you’re handling yours. What’s going on with you?”

“My mother and I got into a huge argument. We haven’t spoken since.” Belinda was too bothered by her mother’s accusations to call and apologize. And Carmina … she was just as stubborn as her daughter.

Carmina never understood her. As mother and daughter they were almost mismatched.

“About what? You and your mother never argue.”

“A lot of things. Stuff that had just gone unsaid for too many years.”

And Carter. But Belinda didn’t want to voice that, because a big part of her knew that her mother had a point. She had run from her marriage.

“Hey, Bell. Hello, Ellis.” She looked up to see Carter walking in with Ruby. She may have run from her marriage, but it seemed like her marriage wasn’t going to let her get away.

She looked at her husband and his daughter for a moment. Her little fingers were locked with his. The thing she loved most about Carter was that he loved his kid and wasn’t afraid to show it.

“Hello, Ruby. Hello, Mr. Suit and Tie,” Ellis said with a grin. “You’ve got to come over to have dinner with my husband and me and Cherri and Colin, too. We need to check you out if you are going to be involved with my best friend.”

“Just name a day.”

Ellis looked back at Belinda and gave her a slight nod of approval. Ellis liked Carter. So did Cherri. Belinda had her doubts, but knowing her friends liked him helped soothe them. “I’ll set things up with Belinda. I’ve got a client coming in soon. I’ll see you both later.”

“Hi, baby doll. I didn’t expect to see you here today.” She glanced at the clock on her wall as she rose and approached, scooping a sleepy-looking Ruby into her arms. It was just after two. School didn’t let out for another hour. “Especially not at this time of day.”

“The school nurse called and asked me to come get Ruby. She’s says she’s got a headache. I would take her home, but I have to meet a client in ten minutes. Do you think she could stay with you until I got back?”

“Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”

He leaned in and gave her cheek a long lingering kiss. “Thank you.” He kissed her other cheek and then her lips, never afraid to show affection in front of Ruby. “I appreciate this.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“I just want an excuse to kiss you. If Ruby is up to it later, can we take you out for dinner?”

“Only if we can go for burgers.”

“Deal.” He kissed her again and then Ruby’s forehead. “I love you both.”

He loved her. She believed it this time. She felt his love. Maybe that’s why she was so afraid of things falling apart.

“Does your head hurt, baby?” She rubbed Ruby’s back.

Ruby snuggled into her a little deeper and then looked up at her, her expression guilty. “No.”

“No?”

“I think I just needed a day.”

Belinda almost wanted to smile at her very adultlike excuse, but Ruby wasn’t one to fake sick. Something was up.

“What’s the matter?”

“We was gonna make Mother’s Day books in school this afternoon. My teacher said I can make one about my grandma, but I didn’t want to so I told the teacher I needed to go to the nurse. Everybody else in my class has a mommy. Bianca even has two mommies. But I don’t have any.”

“It makes you sad,” Belinda said, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sorry you had a rotten day.” She kissed her forehead and held her for a few moments. It was times like these, when she held Ruby close, that she got so mad at Carter, that she felt robbed. Ruby should have been hers. Theirs together. As much as she loved her, in the back of her mind she would always know that she wasn’t hers, that she was the child her husband had with somebody else.

“Cookies might make me feel better.”

“Oh, really?” Belinda laughed. “Well, Miss Thing, if you want cookies you’re going to work for them.”

“But I don’t got no homework tonight.”

“You’re going to work here in the store. I hope you know how to balance the books and pay bills.”

Ruby shrugged. “I can try.”

*   *   *

“So that’s the kid of the hot guy who came in while you were trying on the underwear,” Maggie, their new assistant manager, said to Belinda as they watched Ruby attempt to fold the camisoles they’d just gotten in. “I was wondering how you knew him. If I knew he came in here looking for a babysitter I would have pushed you out of the way and thrown myself in front of him.”

Belinda looked at Maggie and laughed, surprised by her candor. Maggie was a relatively new hire but she was great at her job, and the more she got to know her the more she was beginning to see that her quiet assistant manager was sassier than she thought. “Back off, girl. That hot guy just happens to be my husband.”

Maggie’s eyes went wide. “I didn’t know you were married.”

“Nobody did. We were estranged for a while, but we’re trying it again. So you might see Ruby around here from time to time.”

“She’s really cute. She looks so determined to fold those camisoles.”

“I know, and we’re going to have to steam every single one of those again before we sell them. I would stop her, but I like a girl with a good work ethic.”

“Don’t stop her. When I was a kid my father was a housepainter. He used to take me on jobs with him sometimes. I knew that I must have been more of a hindrance than a help but I sure did feel important when he took me to work with him.”

Belinda couldn’t help but note the fondness in Maggie’s voice when she spoke of her father. “Are you two close?”

“He passed away a couple of years ago. I’ve been trying to get closer to my mother since then. We haven’t always gotten along, but now that my father is gone she is all I’ve got. So that’s why I’m taking her away for Mother’s Day. I don’t want to regret not spending time with her.”

Guilt snuck up on Belinda and kicked her hard in the butt. She had argued with her mother. They weren’t speaking and while she tried to fool herself into thinking it didn’t bother her, it did. She could be like Ruby with no mother at all. Or like Maggie, trying to make up for lost time. Mother’s Day was coming and she really didn’t see herself spending that day without her mother.

The bell over the door sounded, causing Maggie and Belinda to turn to the customer who walked in. “I’ve got this,” Maggie said to her and walked away to greet her.

Belinda went to Ruby, who was still diligently folding while she sat on the bench in the shoe section. “It looks like you’ve been working hard over here.” She smoothed Ruby’s hair out of her face and kissed her forehead.

“I like to work.” She nodded. “I’m going to help Ellis sew, too.”

“Don’t work too hard. I might not have enough cookies to pay you.”

“I’ll take a check.”

“Ruby Lancaster.” She sat next to her on the bench laughing and pulled her close. “Where did you come from?”

Ruby blinked at her. “San Francisco.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t from outer space? Because you sound just like a grown-up.”

“Yeah. Grandma says Lancaster ladies have to be sophisticated.”

“Sophisticated? You know what the word means?”

“No, but I think it means old.”

“You do have an old soul.” She kissed her cheeks, unable to help herself. “And that’s why I love you.”

“Belinda!” Maryanne, one of her regular customers, walked over to them. “I didn’t know you had a daughter. She’s adorable.”

“Thank you but she’s not my…” She stopped herself, unable to complete her thought. She didn’t want to say that Ruby wasn’t her daughter but she wasn’t. But she could have been, and that little bit of hurt and longing snuck up inside her. Ruby was Carter’s daughter and if things didn’t work out with him, she would lose her. She didn’t want to think about losing her. “This is Ruby,” she said to Maryanne. “I’m training her to work here so she can run the store when I go on vacation with her daddy.”

“I’m folding clothes,” Ruby said quietly.

“Wow. It’s so nice that you want to help your mommy. I can’t even get my kids to put their shoes away. I’ve got to head to the back. I’ve got a fitting with Ellis. Good-bye, ladies.”

Belinda watched her go, feeling a little hollow after the exchange. “Are you ready for some cookies now? I think you’ve earned them.

She took Ruby back to her office where she kept her secret stash of fudge-dipped graham crackers. “You know,” she started as she pulled the treat out of her desk drawer, “I don’t share these with just anybody, so you should feel extra special. I almost fought Ellis for taking one. She’s having a baby and all she wants to do is eat cookies.”

“Ellis is going to be a mommy?” Ruby asked as Belinda sat beside her on the couch.

“Yes, her baby should be here a little after Christmas.”

“Oh,” Ruby said. Belinda could hear the heaviness in her voice.

“What’s wrong, baby doll?”

Ruby leaned against Belinda, shutting her eyes. “I don’t know what my mommy looks like,” she said softly. “I don’t remember her. It makes me feel bad.”

“You were just a little baby. Of course you don’t remember. You don’t have to feel bad. We could get some pictures. Don’t you have another grandma and grandpa? Can you call them and ask?”

“They died, too.”

“Damn, kid. You’re ripping my heart out today.”

“You’re not supposed to say damn. You gotta put money in the cuss jar.” She slipped her hand into Belinda’s. “That lady thought you were my mommy today.”

“She did. I didn’t want to tell her that I wasn’t your mommy,” she admitted.

“That’s because you love me, right?”

“Yes. More than my Jimmy Choo shoes and that’s a lot. You should be honored.”

“You take care of me.”

“I try.”

“And you talk to me.”

“Because you are so easy to talk to.”

“You could be my mommy if you wanted to. And when Mother’s Day comes I could make a book of things I love about you. I want you to be my mommy,” she told her for the second time. “When is that going to happen?”

“Oh, God, Rube.” Belinda didn’t know what to say to that. She felt a little cheated again. Like Ruby should have been hers. It was irrational because she loved her more than she thought she was capable of. But she hadn’t been there at her birth. She didn’t get to see her first steps or first Christmas. She didn’t get to carry this child in her body and experience what Ellis was experiencing. As much as she loved Ruby she was never going to have that. Because that honor had gone to another woman. Carter’s first wife. It made Belinda feel like she was always going to be in second place.

“You’re going to make me cry, kid. That’s the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. Being a mommy is a big job and I’m glad you want me to take it, but I don’t want you to forget about your mother, either. I know how much she loved you. I know she would be here if she could. I’m going to have a talk with your father. Even though she’s not here, she’s still very important.”

Ruby looked up at her, her little face scrunched as she took it all in. “Okay.” She wrapped her arms around Belinda and squeezed. “Can we go shopping? I’ve got to buy Grandma a Mother’s Day present. Daddy said he would mail it to her. I even have my own money. Uncle Steven gives me money sometimes when Daddy isn’t looking. He says a girl needs her own spending money.”

“That’s right, Ruby,” a familiar voice called. “A lady should always have her own money.”

“Grandma!”

Belinda looked up to Carter’s mother standing just inside her office. A cold chill ran down her back.

What the hell is she doing here?

*   *   *

Bernadette Lancaster had not aged at all in the past four years. Still perfectly slender. Still beautiful. Same perfectly coiffed hair. Same tasteful classic clothing. Same critical gaze she always gifted Belinda with. Being an icy bitch did wonders for one’s appearance.

“Hello, darling. I came to surprise you.” She smiled brightly and genuinely as Ruby scrambled off the couch to her. “I missed you so much. It was killing me not to see you on Mother’s Day.” Bernadette closed her eyes and hugged Ruby close.

The affection took Belinda off guard. The Bernadette she knew never smiled like that. She never had a kind word. She never seemed happy to see anybody, even her own son. Maybe that was the power of Ruby. The kid could melt anybody.