Gentlemen Prefer Curves: A Perfect Fit Novel (3 page)

He shook his head, his eyes twinkling in the process. They were nice eyes, reminding her a little of an old-school Paul Newman. “You’re a lot of fun, Belinda. I knew you would be the moment I saw you doing the cha-cha with Dr. Petersen.”

“Ah, you saw me cha-chaing with my date. Is that why you almost didn’t ask me out? I only went with Dr. Petersen because he’s my father’s good friend and his wife was too sick to go. You didn’t really think we were a couple, did you?”

“No.” He shook his head. “You didn’t strike me as the type of woman who dates men who could be her grandfather.”

Her brows went up, curiosity starting to gnaw at her, and she wished it would stop. She shouldn’t care why he almost didn’t ask her out. He had asked her out.

Still, she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “You didn’t like the color of my dress?”

He laughed. “No. If I recall, you look really good in green.”

She flashed him a smile to thank him for the compliment. “Then what was it? Did I have food in my teeth? Toilet paper on my shoe? Did my breath stink? Come on, Brian. You can’t tell a girl you almost didn’t ask her out without telling her why.”

He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “I don’t usually date girls like you.”

“Like me? What kind of girls?” She kept her voice light. “Redheads?”

“I’ve got a thing for redheads.” He winked. “Your size kind of put me off at first.”

His words must have had some kind of powerful stun effect because it felt like the world slowed down for her in that moment. She studied his face carefully to see if he was serious.

“When I saw you—” He paused to study her. “—I thought,
If she were just thirty, thirty-five pounds thinner she would be perfect.
”

Oh.

Ouch.

Her size put him off.

Did you hear that, Belinda? If you were thirty-five pounds thinner, you’d be perfect. Perfect.

Perfect?

What a crock of shit.

“But then I realized that I was being an asshole. You’re probably the sexiest woman in this town.”

Thirty, thirty-five pounds. The size of a well-fed cocker spaniel.

Insecurity, her old and nearly forgotten friend, snuck up on her.

She had to shake that feeling off.

Her size would never be in the single digits, her legs would always rub together when she walked, she would always have more junk in her trunk than a ’68 Caddy. And she was okay with that. Why wasn’t everyone else?

Brian’s words should have had no effect on her. But they did.

Let it go
, she ordered herself.
His words are like water off a duck’s ass.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

She clenched her teeth instead.

“I like you a lot,” he went on. “I’m attracted to you and I figured if we got you on a good regimen we could get that weight right off you.”

“Regimen?”

“Yeah. Like an exercise routine. I know you don’t have one. You wouldn’t be so soft-looking if you did. I hit the gym five times a week. I spend an hour on cardio and an hour doing free weights. I can’t stand to see jiggly. I try to keep my body as firm as possible.”

She shut her eyes, trying desperately to hold on to her calm. “I wouldn’t call it a routine but sometimes I take dance class at the community center. I’ve even been known to do yoga on occasion. It may not be the type of routine you are referring to, but I certainly do more than sit on the couch lifting the fork to my mouth.”

“That’s great.” His eyes lit up, as if she had just given him a gift. “So you’re not lazy. All we have to do is turn up the intensity. If we get you down to twelve hundred calories a day, and put you in the gym four times a week, you could have that weight gone in a couple of months. It’ll be great. You’ll see. We can go together and I can help transform you into a healthier, better version of yourself.”

Lazy?

Twelve hundred calories?

Transform?

“Better version of myself?”

“Yeah, Belinda. You obviously have to know when you look in the mirror that you could look better. I think this is why we met, so I can help you get on the right path. You need me. I can see a future for us.”

Her head spun. A whole bunch of thoughts collided and she felt like she was about to have one of those
Exorcist
moments. Pea soup spewing and all.

He didn’t just—

He couldn’t have said—

Did he just offer to put me on a diet?

Oh, fuck that!

She threw back her head and laughed. That kind of hysterical laughter that got people put in institutions. She was going to lose it. First the episode at her parents’ house and now this. The bad Belinda was about to rear her bitchy head. The Belinda who’d once made a cop cry. The Belinda who just didn’t give a shit anymore and there wasn’t a damn thing anybody could do to stop it.

“Isn’t that ironic? I almost didn’t say yes when you asked me out.”

“Oh?” His eyes widened with curiosity.

“Yeah. Judging by the way you walk and that big expensive sports car you drive, I figured you must have an extremely tiny penis.” She leaned back in her chair, crossing arms nonchalantly. “But I told myself I was being a bitch. I can get over a man having a little weenie. It’s not the size of the boat, right? It’s the motion of the ocean. And if I can’t get off, it’s no big deal. That’s what vibrators are for.”

She took great joy when his dumb grin melted from his face. He had hit her where it hurt and now she was only out to return the favor.

“Belinda, I—”

“You what, honey? Can’t get laid regularly? Sorry that you kiss as well as a cold dead fish? Have a hard time finding somebody who’ll accept that you keep a large jar of toenail clippings on your nightstand?”

He looked around in a panic, noting that she was beginning to draw attention from the other patrons. “I do not have toenail clippings on my nightstand.”

“And I do not need nutrition or exercise advice from you!”

“You’re overreacting,” he hissed.

“I’m overreacting? You’re clueless!” She sat up straight. “And since you’re obviously too stupid to know these things, I’ll be nice and school you. There are three things a man should never talk about with a woman. Her hair. Her mother. And her weight. But you seemed to have skipped class the day God was handing out common sense. What kind of man in his right mind tells a woman that she needs to lose thirty-five pounds? Haven’t you considered that I love myself just the way I am? Big ass and all, and I don’t need some man with a God complex telling me different. I wouldn’t lose a pound for you or any man. I am healthy and happy and if you can’t accept me for who I am, then you can go to hell. You better wise up, buddy. You keep talking to women like that and the only thing that’s going to be keeping you warm at night is your sports car. And that would suck because I hear metal chafes.”

She stormed out, vowing never to date another jackass again. Vowing to join a convent. Vowing to do something, anything to change her luck. How? She had no clue, but she knew she was going to try like hell to figure it out.

CHAPTER 2

You’ve had a bad day …

It was the perfect day for sulking, Belinda thought as she sat beside Cherri on a bench in Elder Park. The sky was gray. The air was damp and nippy that early-March day. There was hardly anyone in the park, just a couple of kids tossing a baseball around. It was cold, quiet, and dreary. The only thing that kept her from sliding into a complete funk was the fact that she was holding Cherri’s ten-month-old baby in her arms. She wasn’t very fond of children, but Joey was okay. He was cute as hell and he smelled like heaven and he always smiled at her. He was more of a gentleman than most of the men she had dated. But unlike the others, Joey produced some very unexpected feelings inside her. He made her heart feel all achy and tuggy. She tried to chalk it up to the fact that he was Cherri’s son and she loved him because she loved Cherri like a sister.

She didn’t want to face the troubling notion that her body was telling her she was yearning to have one of her own.

“So … You going to tell me who pooped in your bran flakes this morning or are you just going to hog my baby and be all quiet and moody?”

Belinda looked over at Cherri, not willing to give the boy up. “He’s warm and he looks especially handsome in this hat I bought him.”

“He does. Now what’s up with you?”

“I think I should get a cat.”

“Oh, here we go again.” Cherri rolled her eyes skyward. “We go through this about once a year. You want a cat or a dog, or a miniature pig. But you never follow through.”

“I went to the shelter last year to pick out a pet, but when I walked in there, there were about four dogs and three cats I wanted to take home. They all looked so damn sad. And then I got this image of myself on
Hoarders
, wearing a fabulous silk muumuu and turban, feeding my forty-seven animals and lamenting over what went wrong in my life.”

“You’re nuts.” Cherri shook her head. “You’ve gone nuts.”

Belinda shrugged. “You’re right. I was thinking about going back to school. I have my associate’s degree in fashion merchandising management. Maybe I should get a bachelor’s degree.”

“I thought you didn’t like school.”

“I didn’t.”

“Then why go back? You’ve managed stores for years, now you own Size Me Up with Ellis. What more do you want to learn?”

“I don’t know, maybe I could get a degree in chemistry.”

“But you suck at science.”

“Or archaeology.”

“You’re the last person I can picture digging in the dirt.” She looked down at Belinda’s shoes, one of her favorite pairs: navy-blue patent-leather platform pumps with matching blue bows on top. “I don’t think they let you wear five-inch heels in ancient ruins.”

“You’re not being supportive!”

“I’m sorry.” She smothered a laugh. “But why don’t you start out small. Take a cake decorating class, or photography. You’re so creative. I’ve been asked to teach a beginners’ painting class at the community center. I think I’m going to do it. You can be one of my students.”

“You’re going to teach me how to paint?”

“I taught elementary school art. I think I can manage to teach you a thing or two. What brought on this need to better yourself anyway?”

Suddenly the ball the kids had been tossing around flew in their direction. Without thinking, Belinda shoved Joey at Cherri and caught the ball right before it smacked her in the face.

“Hey, lady. Great catch,” one of the boys said as he trotted up to her to retrieve the softball.

“Great catch? Great catch! How about saying
I’m sorry
, dingus? I was holding a baby, and you could have seriously hurt him. Or me. You’ve got to be careful around here.”

Belinda stood up and winged the ball over the kid’s head. It landed right in his friend’s glove.

“Wow,” the kid said. “You’re good. You could coach our Little League team.”

He couldn’t have been more than eleven or twelve, and suddenly she felt shitty for losing her cool with him. If she couldn’t keep her temper around tweens, then why the hell was her body telling her she wanted a kid of her own?

“I’ll pass. I’m sorry I yelled at you. Go play. Just be careful.”

“You know, you could coach Little League,” Cherri said when Belinda sat back down. “You have amazing reflexes. If that was me I would have been hit.”

Belinda shrugged. “I’m not athletic, but I can catch a ball. I guess that comes with being a pro ballplayer’s daughter.” She looked down at Joey. “Is he okay? I didn’t mean to scare him.”

“He’s a tough boy.” Cherri stroked her son’s cheek. “Now let’s get back to you. What the hell is going on with you today?”

“My date last night. It didn’t end well.”

“Oh, no,” Cherri groaned. “What happened?”

“He told me that if I lost thirty-five pounds, I would be perfect. And then he offered to put me on a diet-and-exercise program. So I lost it on him in one of the most expensive restaurants in Durant. I’m pretty sure I’m banned from there but that’s okay. The food wasn’t that good anyway.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Cherri asked in wonder.

“I’ve been trying to figure that shit out for years.”

“I don’t mean it that way. I’m just trying to figure out why you seem to attract every loser, jackass, and asshole in a twenty-mile radius. You’re gorgeous, Belinda. And you’re smart and you’re funny. Why can’t you find a man?”

“I don’t know. I think going to take a break from dating for a little while. My mother is going to have a shit fit and lament over where she went wrong raising me, but I need a break. I think I need to shake things up a little. I’m feeling restless.”

Cherri nodded. “Just as long as you don’t give up on love. Your guy is out there.”

Belinda said nothing, not so sure that that was true.

“I’ve got some old bread in here.” Cherri pulled a loaf out of her diaper bag. “Let’s go feed the ducks.”

They made their way to the intersecting paths that led to the lake, finding them nearly deserted, like the rest of the park.

The lake was set about two or three feet down from the path. As kids she and Ellis used to take off their shoes and slide down the small incline and play in the water, screaming and splashing at the fish as they tried to nibble at their toes. There was a larger dock on the other side of the lake where her father liked to go fishing for bigger game. She spent so much time here as a kid. It was nice that Cherri took her son here weekly. Belinda thought that if she ever had children of her own, she would do the same thing. She would like to raise them right here in Durant. It was a funky little town, centered around a university. It was filled with coffee shops, hiking trails, and friendly quirky people. She’d spent half of her childhood and some of her adulthood in New York City, then passed some time in San Francisco and a bit in Chicago. But she kept coming back, because Durant was the only place that ever felt like home.