Gentlemen Prefer Curves: A Perfect Fit Novel (22 page)

She wanted to believe that. She wanted so much to believe that. To believe that she hadn’t married a man who had no feelings for her at all, but she couldn’t because in the end, even with all her talking, they were still strangers. He didn’t know anything about her, only the woman she pretended to be while she was with him. “You already got in my pants this month, mister. You can stop laying it on so thick.”

He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He was shutting down. She could see his expression closing off, and she wanted desperately to stop it. But why? She wanted him out of her hair, out of her life. She shouldn’t care if he never spoke to her again. But she did. She wanted to know more from him. “Why did you ask me to marry you?” she blurted out before she saw him completely close down.

“Because you loved me,” he said without hesitation.

“You seem very sure of that.” She frowned.

He nodded. “You don’t give your love away. I knew that the moment I met you. And yet you love very deeply. I could feel your love, Bell. There were times when I was overwhelmed by it.”

“Damn it, Carter.” She shut her eyes before the tears could come. “I wanted us to work. I had dreams for us.”

“What happened to them?”

“They died,” she said truthfully. “I have to go.” She stood up, needing to get away from him. It was too much for her. Too much emotion for one day. But she realized she was in her house. That his daughter lay upstairs in her bed. She couldn’t flee him for long. “I have to go check on Ruby.”

She walked into her bedroom to find Ruby lying on her side not watching the television but staring at the wall. She was still so upset, which bothered Belinda more than she wanted to think about. “Hey.”

“Hello.”

“Don’t you like the movie? It’s one of my favorites.”

“My tummy hurts.”

She could hear the pout in her voice. On any other kid she might have found it irritating, but on Ruby … She crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “Is there anything I can get you to make it feel better?”

“I saw on TV that Pepto-Bismol is good for nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea. I can take that. I think I got some heartburn.”

Oh, good God.
Something inside Belinda cracked. She lay next to Ruby, cupped her small face in her hands, and peppered kisses across her freckled nose. Ruby shut her eyes and accepted her affection and Belinda didn’t know what she was more surprised by: the fact that Ruby seemed to need it or the fact that Belinda needed to give it. “You are very dramatic, little one, but really freaking cute.” She gave her one last kiss on the cheek and pulled her close. Ruby snuggled into her and for a few minutes they were quiet.

“Squeeze me,” Ruby ordered.

“Like this?” She wrapped her arms around Ruby tightly until she heard the little girl sigh in contentment. “I can squeeze you like a pimple, little girl. I’m just hoping you don’t pop.”

“Thank you,” Ruby sighed.

She finally understood why women wanted to be mothers. For this. To hold a child. And for the first time Belinda wondered what it would feel like to hold a child created with a man she loved, one who came from her body. It must be a powerful feeling.

This feeling was nice, too. She enjoyed Ruby, enjoyed the few hours they had spent together today. Too bad this little girl didn’t belong to some other man. Her past with Carter always made things impossibly hard.

She looked down at Ruby, smoothing the hair from her face. “Ruby, I want you to do something for me?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to forgive your father.”

*   *   *

Carter only sat on the couch for a few moments before he followed Belinda upstairs. She was still running from him. Four years and nothing had changed. Except him. He wasn’t content to let her walk away this time. She asked him half a dozen questions but he had one of his own.

Why did you love me?

She was the only person besides Ruby who had ever uttered those three words to him. Not even the first woman he’d walked down the aisle with. But she had, and he wondered why.

He walked down the long hall that led to her bedroom and stopped as he approached the door. Belinda had his daughter’s face in her hands. She was kissing her freckles and he wasn’t sure who captivated him more: Belinda, who looked so natural giving her love to a child, or Ruby, whose eyes were closed, her face upturned, soaking in Belinda’s affection like she was starved for it.

Shit.

He’d suspected for years that Ruby wanted a mother. Now he knew it was more than a want. It was a need. He couldn’t do it all. He loved her more than anything in the world but his love alone wasn’t enough. Ruby deserved to have the love of two parents.

He knew things weren’t over with Belinda. But as much as he craved her nearness, her warmth, he wasn’t sure he trusted her with Ruby’s heart. She had walked away once and it nearly killed him. He couldn’t risk her walking out on Ruby. He couldn’t let her get hurt.

“I want you to forgive your father.”

“He broke his promise,” she whispered.

“What promise?”

“He said we was moving here so he could be with me more. He forgot about me today. I don’t want him to forget about me like he forgot about me when we lived in California.”

“He loves you. He loves you more than anything or anybody else. I know he forgot you had a half day, but he didn’t forget about you. He could never forget about you. He made a mistake, baby. We all make mistakes. One day you’ll make a mistake or two and your daddy will forgive you, because that’s what daddies do. They forgive. We all forgive and now you have to, too. You’ll feel better after you do.”

“Being mad always makes my tummy hurt.”

Belinda bent down and smoothed a kiss to her forehead. “Then don’t be mad anymore.”

She nodded. “Grandma says being angry gives you wrinkles.”

“Does she?”

“Yes. She said if you get wrinkles then you need Botox.” Ruby reached up to touch Belinda’s forehead. “She said ladies get it right here.”

“Your grandmother is a wealth of information, isn’t she?”

“She tells me lots of things. Sometimes I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

“I think a lot of people feel that way about her.” She pulled herself away from Ruby and sat up. “I think we’d better go downstairs now.”

“Can I stay here for five more minutes? I like this bed. You think Daddy will buy me one?”

“No to the bed. Yes, you can stay here, but don’t be too long. Your father is tired. I think he wants to take you home.”

“Okay.”

Carter unfroze then and backed out of the doorway. He knew there was no way he could get downstairs without Belinda hearing so he ducked into the bathroom just a little farther down the hall, and when she was near enough he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside the room with him. She let out a little frightened yelp but when he shut the door and backed her against the door her expression changed. Her pouty lips parted in surprise and something flashed in her eyes.

He wanted to call it attraction, but it had to be more than that. If she felt an ounce of what he did, then the word
attraction
seemed wholly inadequate. He pressed his body into her soft curves, holding back a groan when their bodies connected. He’d missed this. He’d missed the connection that he had never felt with anybody else.

“What they hell are you doing?” she asked when he pressed himself into her.

“Be quiet and let me hold you. I need this from you right now.”

“Be quiet?” She wrapped her arms around him. “I thought you liked to hear me talk?” Her sassy comment and that gorgeous red raised eyebrow caused him to smile.

“I’d rather not hear you talk before I kiss you.”

“Who says I wanted to be kissed?”

“Who says you have a choice?”

“Oh.” She smiled bashfully. “Do you still want to have sex with me?”

He nodded once, still surprised that she was the only person in the world who could get him to be nakedly honest. “Just because you smashed my heart into a million pieces doesn’t mean I stopped wanting you.”

“Smashed your heart, huh? I wasn’t aware you had one.”

“Belinda,” he warned.

“I know, that was really a bitchy thing to say. I know you have a heart. I can see it when you’re with your daughter.”

“Bell…” Her words stung. A lot. More than he thought they could. Hadn’t she known how much he loved her? Maybe she didn’t and that was his mistake. He didn’t even know how much he could love until Ruby came into his life. He was so unsure about them, about their future, but he wanted to make that up to her, he wanted to show her how much he felt for her.

“If you would kiss me already I wouldn’t have the chance to say such stupid mean things.”

“You want me to kiss you?”

“I’d rather have that hot burly guy from
True Blood
kiss me, but you’re the only one here.”

He shifted his hands to cup her face, running his thumbs over her high cheekbones. Her eyes went wide again as if she wasn’t expecting his gentleness. He pressed one very soft kiss on her lips and stepped away.

“Thank you for taking care of Ruby today. You don’t know how much I appreciate it.”

She couldn’t hide the disappointment on her face. She wanted more from him. He wanted to give it to her, but he knew he couldn’t. Once he started with her he couldn’t bring himself to stop. “I like her. If you ever need somebody to babysit, I wouldn’t mind. My parents wouldn’t, either. I know you don’t have much help with her, but if you needed us we would be there for you.”

He was surprised by her offer, touched by it even, but he knew it was one that he couldn’t accept. Not until he was sure of where their relationship was heading. “That’s very kind of you, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want Ruby to get too attached to you.”

“Oh. Whatever.” Hurt flashed in her eyes but she covered it quickly. “I didn’t really want to babysit for a five-year-old. I was only offering to be nice.”

She turned away from him and walked out of the bathroom and he knew he had said the wrong thing. He never meant to hurt her. But he couldn’t allow her to hurt Ruby, either. If her leaving had nearly destroyed him, he couldn’t imagine what it would do to his baby girl. He needed to know that they would be forever before he let Ruby fall in love with her.

He went to follow her, to explain himself, but he ran into his daughter when he stepped out of the bathroom. “Hello, Ruby.” She was the other woman he had hurt today, and seeking her forgiveness was more important right now.

“Hello, Daddy.”

“Are you ready to go?”

She nodded once and slid her small hand into his. His chest felt lighter with that small action. He scooped her up and kissed her hair. “Can I take you out for dinner tonight? Or are you still not talking to me?”

“I’m talking to you,” she said resting her head on his shoulder. “But I want you to cook spaghetti tonight.”

“Of course I’ll cook you spaghetti.” He walked down the stairs. “Do you want anything else?”

“I want Belinda to have dinner with us.”

Her request shook him, and for a moment he didn’t know what to say. “I meant did you want anything else for dinner. Belinda can’t eat with us tonight.”

“Tomorrow night?”

“I don’t know, baby.” He didn’t want to tell her no. But he couldn’t tell her yes. “Let’s ask her later.”

“Okay.” For that moment his answer was good enough.

Belinda was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. She held Ruby’s book bag, her sweater, and a container full of cookies in her hands.

“You’re giving me all the cookies?” Ruby asked.

“Of course I am. I made them for you.”

“You baked for her?” Carter asked.

Belinda looked at him briefly before she smiled at Ruby. “It was no big deal. They came from a mix. All I had to do was add eggs and stir.”

“You put lots of butter in them, too. They taste very good, Daddy.”

“I’m sure they do, Rube. I want you to thank Belinda for taking such good care of you today.”

Ruby stretched her arms out, silently begging for Belinda to hug her. Belinda looked unsure for a moment and glanced at him. “My hands are full.”

Carter felt like the world’s biggest asshole. There were few people Ruby responded to. There was no way he could deny her this. “I’ll take your things.” He did and when her hands were free Ruby wrapped herself around Belinda, holding her tight.

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Belinda hugged her briefly. “I had fun with you today. Be a good girl for your father.” She set her down and looked Carter in the eye. The hurt was still there and it was unmistakable. “I haven’t received the papers yet.”

He nodded. “You will,” he said, lying to her. He wasn’t going to send them. He needed to figure out a way to get her back.

CHAPTER 15

Stuck in the middle with you …

Three days later Belinda and her father walked into Durant’s community center. Three years ago it had been rebuilt, turning a once aging building to a place where the people of Durant could truly come together. During the day it was a place the elderly hung out to play cards, swap gossip, and share sips of Irish coffee out of the big thermoses with them, but in the afternoons it turned into a school, with classes on photography, computers, art, and fitness.

And that’s why they were there. Belinda had been thinking about it for weeks now, about finding a way to better herself. But all of her big plans seemed to fall by the wayside the day Carter came back into her life. She was mad at herself for letting him change her plans, the way she lived her life. So when her father called her and told her that he had signed up for woodworking and introduction to Spanish classes and asked if she wanted to join him, she jumped at the chance.

Her Spanish was good, thanks to her mother speaking it to her as a child, and there was no way in hell she was going to take woodworking, but Cherri was teaching a beginning painting class across the hall from her father’s class and her father had promised to take her out to dinner after class each week. Something about seeing Ruby and Carter together made her appreciate her father more. He wasn’t openly affectionate with her like Carter was with his daughter, but she had no doubt he loved her. She knew that he was still trying to make up for her first twelve years when she had seen him more on TV than she had in their home.