Gauge: Rockstar Romance (The ProVokaTiv Series Book 1) (13 page)

My last box was unpacked. I had a new small studio apartment with a small veranda, overlooking the blue pool that was in my apartment complex. I looked around at everything, giving it a final assessment. I definitely needed some decorations, but more than that, I felt like it was too quiet. With the outside noise, I found it hard to assimilate to the sounds and fall asleep soundly at night. My music and my radio was always on.

Everything at my new office was cool, and I was getting to meet a lot of interesting people. Most of my attention was spent paying attention to the final edits and nuances of the story for The Rift, which was finally at press, and ready to be revealed tomorrow. The thoughts made me so nervous: a worldwide stage to critique my writing.

Gauge and I still hadn’t had a chance to have ‘the conversation’ yet. We’d talked a few times, but there was always someone around or one of us had to go. He was busy, naturally, and I was busy, too.

I was staring out at the pool of people having fun at the pool. If Trinity and Jessie had been around, I would have been down there, absorbing the golden Cali rays of sunshine and having a margarita. That didn’t seem like so much fun alone.

My phone rang and I looked down. It was Charlie, a photographer for The Rift. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Just seeing what you’re up to tonight.”

“Not much, I was going to get a jump on the column for next week,” I said.

“That’s right; you’re doing an online column for the magazine. Need any pictures for it?  Let me know.”

“Great.”

Charlie paused a bit. “How about giving the column a break for the night and going out for a few drinks, maybe some dancing?”

The thought of getting out and exploring my new world and having some fun was great. I wasn’t sure if Charlie was referring to the event as a date or as a friend. That was a problem. Only one of those things was an option.

“Sure, who’s all going to be there?” I asked.

“Not sure yet, I have some calls in.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Why not? Where should I meet up with you?”

“I’ll swing by and get you. Sharing a cab is cheaper, and I don’t live that far away.”

We walked into Echoplex, a great Thursday night hot spot, and I quickly realized that Charlie hadn’t been able to gather anyone else together for the party. By coincidence or by design, that was yet to be determined.

I had on a tank top, a pair of jeans, and some black boots; very basic and versatile. It felt good, though. Charlie was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that clung to his chest, revealing that he wasn’t quite to that chiseled state of perfection. I knew he worked out daily, but he was no Gauge.
Oh please, no, don’t let him enter into my mind.

It turned out that keeping Charlie at bay was a bit challenging, but not as challenging as keeping Gauge at bay. Not only were ProVokaTiv songs being played pretty frequently, but Charlie was also trying to initiate some dirty dancing through getting me drunk. I wasn’t in the mood. If I was going to be wasted and dirty dance, tongue sticking out and whatnot, it wasn’t going to be with Charlie. He was sweet, but he didn’t deliver the spice.

A band walked onto the stage, and I looked up, recognizing them. It was Verdict, an up-and-coming that had opened up for ProVokaTiv for a few shows this past summer. I was grateful for the distraction and eager to listen to them. The female lead, Viv, was really cool; the kind of hippy chick chic that I could never pull off. And the guys that supported her all had a more retro look, but their hair showed a combination of punk rock, grunge, and heavy metal. Each marched to their own beat, and when they were together, they brought it on, a cohesive show despite their differences.

Charlie was next to me, trying to talk and get his hands on my hip during the show. I kept moving around, bringing other people into the dance, and doing anything I could to gain distance between me and his hands. The next step was going to be to say something, which I hoped I wouldn’t have to do. Just wasn’t in the mood to be that direct.

I looked up on stage and Viv happened to see me, giving me a wave. I waved back. When the first set was done, I walked up to see if I could say hi. She invited me back to talk for a minute before going back on and ended with, “So, have you seen Gauge?  He’s in town.”

“No, but I’ve been crazy busy; him, too, I’d imagine.”

Then she was gone, but her words hung around me like a hundred-pound chain. Well, now I knew.

Charlie had been standing in my shadow the entire time. I turned to look at him and said, “I think I’m going to bail, Charlie. I’m getting tired and I have a crazy schedule. I have to watch the MTV Awards tomorrow night.” I realized that was likely why Gauge was in town. Of course. Not me at all.

Tablet on my lap, television cranked up to hear all the hype for the show, and a glass of wine in a convenient location; yes, I was ready to watch the big show and see what was happening in LA that night. I could have gone and been on the red carpet, but that wouldn’t have been as conducive to me getting what I needed to write my column. Plus, I was a chicken-shit. There, I’d admitted it.

My hair was pulled back in my headband and I was as casual as could be. There was a knock on the door. Rolling my eyes, I got up and walked over to the door, half expecting to see Betty, the chatty neighbor standing there. I’d say hi, tell her I was working, and then get rid of her. She was new to LA, too, but unlike me, she was an unemployed. Her story: the usual, trying to make her big break.

I swung the door open and was caught off-guard in mid swing, slamming the edge of my wooden apartment door into my knee. “Ouch, shit,” I said, staring down at the ground. I was so embarrassed.

“Are you okay?”  Gauge leaned in and touched my arm. The feeling his touch brought lessened the pain in my knee, but did little to appease my embarrassment.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Come in. I’m just surprised. Oh my God, what are you doing here?”  I realized I was rambling and tried to bite my tongue off, use the pain to remind me to keep it together.

“The awards,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s where I thought you’d be.”

“And where I thought you’d be,” he said.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I called over to The Rift and they said you’d be watching from home.”

“They gave you my address?”

“No,” Gauge said.

“Okay, now I’m really confused. How did you find me then?”

“Jessie.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He’d gone through some effort to find me. I loved it. I said, “Come in.”

He leaned down and picked up a big box that must have been leaning outside my door.

“I wonder what that is. I’m not expecting anything.”

“It’s from me,” Gauge said with a huge grin.

I didn’t know what was going on, but I instantly felt drunk from Gauge’s presence, renewing his frustrating allure. He didn’t seem like himself, though, very open and almost playful. Not that I was complaining.

My face couldn’t hide my confusion. In just a few minutes, my entire plan, even if it was boring, had been tossed out the window and it was exciting. I’d always loved shaking it up and when it happened when least expected, it was all the better.

“Well, open it up,” Gauge said. He handed me the box and folded his arms. I carried it over to my couch and sat down, placing the box gently across my legs.

I opened up the top and lifted up the contents. It was a dress, the type of dress you wore when you were going to be hanging out with a rock star. It was a strappy black number with a vintage edge, having these amazing, exquisitely ornate fringes on them, and it was stunning.

“Oh my gosh, it’s beautiful,” I said. “I’m afraid I haven’t been going to many places where I can wear this. Thank you.”

“You don’t take a hint very well, Morgan.”

I started laughing. “Well, Mr. Direct. Fill me in on what’s going on so I’m not clueless.”

“You’re my date tonight.”

“Aren’t you going to ask?” I said. It was so lame to say, that but I just did it, anyway.

“Do you have other plans?” he asked, looking at me and then over at the wine glass with the bottle shadowing it from behind.

“Good point. I have to get ready!”  I jumped up and almost toppled forward into the coffee table. I was so flustered and excited that I was acting like I was drunk.

Gauge stood up and put his finger gently under my chin, lifting me head up so I had to stare into those amazing, dark eyes. Then he kissed me. It was soft and gentle, enough to make me want to fall right back down or drag him into my bed, which had been feeling pretty damn lonely the past few weeks.

“Don’t hurt yourself. Having you intact is preferable.”

“I concur,” I said merrily.

I ran into my bedroom, holding the box and set it on the bed, then ran in the bathroom to start getting ready.

“Can you be set in twenty?  A limo is waiting outside and I want to let the driver know.”

“Limo?” I squeaked.

“That’s how they do the award thing; I’d rather drive myself, personally,” he called out.

Then we were quiet. I got dressed as quickly and carefully as I could, but my hands kept shaking as I put on my makeup. I got it all straightened and managed to pour myself into that perfect dress.

Twenty minutes later, I walked out. “Well, what do you think?”

Gauge didn’t answer, but I saw that he approved. His perfect demeanor faltered as he took me in, and he smiled in a way that made his dark eyes sparkle. I felt like a princess, living my own modern day, rock-journalist Cinderella story.

We were in the limo and the only ones in there. I thought of all those juicy limo stories and wondered how many had happened in the back of this one. It would be fun to do that with Gauge, but I had the shakes. No way I could get busy even if I wanted to.

“Out of curiosity, how did you know this dress would fit so perfectly?” I asked.

“I’m pretty good at gauging that sort of thing, no pun intended.”

I smiled. “Well, it’s awesome. And the shoes, I love them. Just hope I don’t trip.”  I looked down at the red velvety heels that were the zesty accent to my look, the final touch that kept it modern, and I had to admit, really sexy.

“I hope not, too.  It’s guaranteed to get caught on camera if you do.”  I gulped. Gauge laughed. “I’m just teasing.”

“No, no you’re not. All eyes are always on guys like you.”

“Well, you’ve had a taste of that from this summer, with everything that happened.”

“Never got used to that part of the attention.”

“But the rest?” Gauge asked.

“The rest I liked.”

“Do Hunter and Simon have dates?”

“They do.”

“Do I know them?”

“No, don’t think so.”

“Well, who are they?”

“That journalist in you never rests, does it?  To answer your question, though, I don’t know who they are. I don’t know them, and unlike you, I didn’t think of asking.”

“Honestly, I don’t get it. Aren’t you curious about what’s happening around you?”

“Not really. There are a select few things I’m curious about. That’s all I pay attention to.”

“Like finding me?  You were curious about that.”

I looked at Gauge. He turned his head but I could see the corner of his lip turn up. He just didn’t want to give me the satisfaction of that smile. Something about that side of him was such a turn-on to me. He thrived on being a bit of a mystery and I salivated over any opportunity to uncover one. He always held something back, and it kept me coming back. Even if it made me want to slap him sometimes.

“So, did you read the story in the magazine?”

“I did.”

“And?”

“It was better than the review of the concert.”

“Well, you hadn’t liked that review, but it did lead to some good things,” I said.

“Have you been dating anyone?” 

Gauge said out of nowhere. It was either on his mind or he didn’t want to talk about the article. Did he think the article sucked?  Was he jealous about the thought of me dating someone?  He sure wouldn’t be if he saw Charlie, hardly a guy to intimidate Gauge.

“No, I’ve been busy working.”

“So, are you ready to have that conversation?”

I couldn’t believe it. We were sitting in a limo. On our way to a place where thousand flashbulbs would be blinding me like the flood lights of a football stadium. And now he wanted to have ‘the conversation.’

“Any reason for the timing?” I asked.

“Yes.” 

“You’re not going to share it with me, are you?”

“Nope. I suggest we move on with the topic at hand. We’re running out of time. We have ten minutes to solve this.”

It was so scary to be honest and throw what I was feeling out there in this situation. I had never done anything quite so bold because I’d never been required to. Either guys broke it off with me when I least expected it, or I found a way to distance myself. In this case, my distance was forced and part of life’s circumstances. That was all, I thought to myself.

“Okay then,” I said. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. I shifted my body to look at Gauge and he was staring at me with kind eyes but his guards were up a bit. He was protecting himself. I decided it was ridiculous to have both of us do that and we’d never know what was possible if we both did that. It was time to put my ‘big girl’ pants on, as my parents used to say when I was acting immature. I told my heart to sit down and shut up.

“Gauge, I’ve really missed you a lot. We didn’t end the summer the way I’d thought we would and it’s tripped me up a bit. Plus, we’ve never had a chance to connect and have a real conversation when we’ve tried. Either you’re unavailable, or I am. As much as I want this, I’m not sure how it can work with the distance.”

“You don’t want a long distance relationship,” Gauge commented.

“No, I don’t. I know a lot of people do it, but it’s not what I want to do.”

“I agree, I don’t want a long distance relationship, either. I have enough challenges with relationships. Much less with trying to make one work when I can’t even visit easily when I’m not on tour.”

I smiled. He’d said what I’d said, but it didn’t feel very good. However, we were on the same page and we agreed. We’d achieved the objective of ‘the conversation.’  So why was my heart quavering?

“Perfect timing,” Gauge said. “We’re here.”

I stared out at all the people lining the red carpet, eager to get a glimpse of who’d they see next.  They were like a bunch of piranhas waiting for the poor loner fish, the one separated from its school, to wander in their direction. I breathed in and freaked out.