Gatekeeper (24 page)

Jillian’s heart lodged in her throat. She tried to voice a protest again, to wriggle away from him but he seized her hips in his hands and pulled her back to him. “Come here,” he commanded and was buried to the hilt inside her pussy before she could utter an objection.

Panting heavily, he plunged inside her. Each relentless, rhythmic thrust pushed the air out of her lungs in a rush. The floor was rock hard underneath her ass and she had no doubt she’d be bruised and aching later. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was this fever-pitch desire that consumed her.

Entwining her arms around his shoulders and her legs around thighs, she held on as he continued his assault, taking her as if he were trying to possess her, dominate her. His breath was hot and ragged in her ear and the sound of it, mingled with the wild, wet, slapping clash of his groin against hers, sent her plummeting over the precipice. Her cries resounded in the foyer and she vaguely realized Benton’s silky moans were echoing her own.

* * * * *

Breathless, Jillian lay on the cold hardwood floor with the robe gaping open, with her legs still sprawled impossibly, wantonly wide. Benton lay beside her, nestled against her, half on his stomach, half on his side. One hand possessively covered her breast. Jillian knew he could feel her heart pounding against his palm.

She turned her head to look at him and was shocked to the core by his expression. It was one of benevolence, tenderness and something else she couldn’t identify.

Jillian swallowed. Some unsettling emotion sparked inside her. He was going to be gone soon.
Gone.

He was leaving her—just as her mother had all those years ago.

His thumb and forefinger tugged at her nipple, sending another wave of desire spiraling straight to her pussy.

She had to stop this. Now. Before she got hurt any more than she already was.

Wrenching free of his grasp, she clambered off the floor. She seized the robe in her hands and yanked it around her naked body.

Benton looked confused. He stood, his shirt hanging untucked, his trousers unbuttoned, revealing wet, black curls against his skin. “Jillian?” His voice was laced with concern.

She fled past him toward her bedroom but he moved at lightning speed and all at once, he had her in his arms again. He spun her around to face him.

Jillian thrashed wildly. She tried to push at him, strike at him, anything to free herself but he caught her wrists in his hands and held them against her chest, pinning her with the force of his strong arms.

An animalistic sob tore from her throat and she crumpled against him. Still holding her wrists with one hand, he cradled her against him with the other. “Why are you always running away from me?”

Her chest heaved but she managed to fight down the tears that stung her eyes. She lifted her pitiful gaze to his. “Because I know you’re going to leave me and it’s breaking my heart.”

Briefly, he closed his eyes. Something akin to relief washed over his features. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before his gaze sought hers once more. “Damned, if women ain’t about the triflin’est bunch of creatures on God’s green earth.”

His total expression of exasperation confused Jillian. She stared, brow creased. “But…you told me from the beginning that you wanted to go to the Light.”

He blew a breath out through his nose. His mouth was a hard line. A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Well, maybe that’s changed.”

Jillian’s heart leaped. Her lips parted. What was he saying? Dammit, why were men so tight-lipped when it came to their emotions? Was he telling her he really did care for her? All she could manage to say was, “What do you mean?”

“Whoa now,” he said, releasing her wrists and taking a step back from her. “Don’t be lookin’ at me like that.”

Remaining silent, she waited for him to find the words.

He swallowed. “Maybe I’m just not ready to go right now, is all. But when your sister got all fired up about sending me and you…you seemed pretty damned determined to be rid of me…I thought—”

Jillian didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence. She flung herself into his arms and kissed him. But then her joy came crashing down with sickening force. After what she had just seen, she knew more certainly than ever that he was no longer safe on this plane. He had to go to the Light. Now she understood the ramifications of it completely. Trembling, she backed away from him. She stared.

“Benton, you manifested to me just now.” She pointed at him. “You’re still doing it.”

“I had to so you could hang onto me.”

She shook her head. “No, I mean since then.”

Looking extremely guilty, he took a step toward her. The backs of her knees found the side of the bed. She swallowed. “What are you doing? Why? Don’t you know the soul collectors could take you? Don’t you know what you’re doing to your energy?” Her voice rose with hysteria.

He took the one step that closed the distance between them. “And haven’t you realized by now I’d risk my soul to feel your arms around me?”

Jillian searched his eyes.

His fingers burrowed into the damp hair behind her ear. His gaze followed and she took the opportunity to study his face. He was so handsome, with his unruly hair and the piratical moustache and triangular-shaped beard. She could scarcely believe someone like him would be attracted to her. She had always considered herself plain, austerely professional in her choice of dress, minimal makeup and no-nonsense haircut. But Benton didn’t look at her that way. He regarded her as if she were anything but plain.

And when his gaze slid into hers once more, her stomach clenched. Never in her well-ordered life had things seemed more out of control.

“Let me make love to you, Jillian.” The pleading in his voice was going to be her undoing. His gaze dropped to her lips and then lower, where the robe gaped open, exposing her generous cleavage. He took a deep breath. The gray of his eyes turned a smoky shade of charcoal. He seemed to be taking her in. But it was more than just her physical appearance he was appraising. He seemed to be absorbing her entire essence.

He swallowed and his gaze lifted to hers.

“Why would you risk your soul for
this
?” She instantly regretted asking such a question.

“Because for the first time in my whole damned existence I feel real. Because you make me feel like a man.”

Total, encompassing love for him surged straight to her heart. She stared, eyes wide. This could not be happening. This was more than infatuation now. This was more than being in love.

A shiver swept up Jillian’s spine despite the heat in Benton’s smoldering gaze. She didn’t want him to leave. Ever. She blinked in an effort to check threatening tears.

“Darlin’ I don’t know what’s over there. I don’t know what to expect. But what I do know is heaven can’t be any better than what I feel when I’m in your arms.”

Jillian’s heart turned over. Hard.

His sensuous lips curved into a smile as he tugged at the tie of her robe. “Let me make love to you,” he said again. “Now. One more time.” He nuzzled her neck and then his mouth found her ear. Warm. Soft. Insistent. “I want to love you, Jillian.” She melted against him. And then he said, “I
do
love you.”

Jillian’s mouth went bone dry. Her knees went weak. Everything was spiraling out of control and she couldn’t muster the courage to stop it. Benton wanted her. Benton loved her.

His hands slid inside her robe, around her, pulling her freshly exposed body against him. The swollen, wet shaft of his cock nudged her belly. Desire unfurled inside her.

This couldn’t be happening.

One of his hands slipped between their bodies, where his fingers prodded and probed the slick wetness between her thighs. One found its way inside her pussy, where he searched and discovered that special spot that made her cream. Her head fell back as she gave him greater access to her neck. She heard herself moan.

“I want to make you come this way,” he purred. “With my fingers.”

Jillian started to spread her legs for him but he suddenly withdrew his hand and before she could protest, he spun her around and bent her over. Her palms found the mattress as he whipped the robe up to expose her ass.

“What are you doing?” Her voice rose slightly.

“What I promised.”

Jillian’s body tightened.

“Spread your legs, darlin’.”

Her heart hammered.

Warm fingers trailed up the back of her thigh and brushed the cleft of her ass. “Spread ’em.” This time, it was a command.

Jillian inched her legs apart, knowing she was thoroughly exposed. Her pussy clenched with anticipation.

Benton voiced his approval as he sank to his knees.

She could feel his hot breath fanning the back of one thigh. He could see
everything
. Her pulse throbbed in her temples.

And then she felt a warm, warm kiss pressed against her gaping pussy. She sighed and instinctively pushed back against his mouth. His tongue laved her cunt and Jillian trembled. It felt so
good
. She spread her thighs wider and then she felt a finger push inside her hole.

She quivered and tightened around it.

“How come you’re so wet?” he teased.

Jillian swallowed. She clutched at the covers.

“How come, darlin’?” His drawl was like silk.

“Because your finger’s in my pussy,” she purred.

He withdrew the finger and Jillian’s breath froze as she felt it slide upward to circle her anus. He slowly rose to his feet. “As I recall, you’re fond of having a finger in here too.”

Jillian couldn’t breathe. Part of her wanted him to slide his finger or more into that tight little hole. Another part of her denied she could possibly like that—but she knew that part of her was lying.

She shifted restlessly.

The fingertip slipped down to her drenched pussy again and then slathered the cream around her anus, pushing its way slowly inside. Jillian jerked but Benton’s other hand splayed across the small of her back, holding her in place as his finger slid all the way inside her.

She groaned, reveling in the mixture of pleasure and pain that curiously made her want more. She dropped to one elbow and braced herself as she found her hard, throbbing clit with her other hand. She rubbed herself furiously as Benton’s finger assaulted her anus, thrusting in and out of her. She’d grown wet there too and was surprised at how good it felt.

The mingling sensations of masturbating herself and his finger fucking her ass crested and she gnawed on her clenched fist as she felt her body spasm. Her knees buckled and she crumpled against the bed as his hand followed her and wrested a mindshattering orgasm from her.

A sob tore from her throat as she twisted away from him and onto her back. Although her passion was assuaged, Jillian was certain Benton had to go into the Light as soon as possible. And as much as she loved him, as much as she wanted this—wanted more—she knew it couldn’t continue.

Chapter Seventeen

Jillian wanted nothing more than to succumb to Benton’s kisses, to his words of love and lust. But she could not. She
would
not.

Breathless and flushed with desire, she pushed herself off the bed. He reached for her but she tore herself away from him. “No,” she breathed the word.

He made an attempt to draw her to him again. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she whispered and pushed his hands away.

Undaunted, he reached for her.

“I said no!” This time he stopped.

Grief flashed in his dove gray eyes. He stared for a long time.

Jillian batted a tear away as she belted her robe. “Benton, we can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“Dammit, Benton! You’re dead. Dead! Don’t you realize that? This is not…it’s not natural. It’s wrong. You’ve got to go to the Light and, as much as I would love to spend the rest of my life with you…” All her emotions came pouring out in a long uncontrollable torrent. She went on. “I couldn’t bear it if the soul collectors took you.” She swallowed. “What would happen to me then? What will happen to me when I die?” A sob wrenched from her throat. “I love you, body
and
soul, and I couldn’t stand the thought of spending eternity without you.” Her whole body trembled uncontrollably.

He stared. He seemed shocked by her pain—and even more shocked by her baldfaced declaration.

Another tear coursed down her cheek. She swiped it again. “I don’t want you to go, Benton. But I
need
you to go.”

His broad shoulders rose and fell with a breath of deep resignation. He moved closer and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I know, Jillian. I know.” She heard him swallow. “I’m being offered heaven so why do I feel like a man condemned?”

Jillian closed her eyes and breathed in the masculine scent of him. She reveled in the strength of his arms and in the knowledge of his love for her. He held her that way until, outside, the sun descended and the room was bathed in blue twilight.

Finally, his index finger caught her chin and he tilted her face up to his. His gaze was warm, compassionate, thick with emotion. “If I’ve got to leave you,” he drawled, “then I want to spend the rest of the night in this bed with you.”