Garden Spells (18 page)

“Good,” he said, standing up and kicking off his shoes. “I think I’ll go for a swim.”

“But you still have your clothes on.”

“I love a lot of things about you, Claire,” he said, reaching his hands over his head and grabbing his shirt at his shoulders and pulling it off, “but you think too much.”

He ran to the water and dived in. Wait a minute. Did he mean that?
He loved her?
Or was that just one of those things people said? She wished she understood these games. Maybe she could play if she did. Maybe she could do something with these feelings for Tyler that alternately pinched and stroked her, feeling so painful and so good at the same time.

Henry was still watching Bay, so Sydney walked back to the quilts and sat beside Claire. “Was that Tyler?”

“Yes,” Claire said, watching his head emerge from the water. He shook his head and his dark hair flung around and stuck to his face in wet ropes. Bay was laughing at him, so he swam over to her and splashed her. She splashed back. Henry, at the edge of the water, said something to them and they paused for a moment, looked at each other, then they splashed Henry. Hesitating only a moment, Henry took off his shoes, pulled his shirt over his head, and jumped in after them.

“Wow,” Sydney said. “Milk, it does a body good.”

“There’s a reason I am the way I am, you know,” Claire blurted out, because she had to explain it to someone.

Sydney grabbed a can of Coke and turned to her curiously.

“We didn’t have a home, Mom and I, the first six years of my life. We slept in cars and homeless shelters. She did a lot of stealing, and a lot of sleeping around. You never knew that, did you?” Claire asked. Sydney had the Coke can halfway to her mouth, frozen. She slowly shook her head and lowered the can. “Sometimes I got the feeling you romanticized what her life was like before she came back to Bascom. I don’t know if she ever intended to stay, but when we came here, I knew I was never going to leave again. The house and Grandma Waverley were permanent things, and when I was young, that’s all I ever dreamed of. But then you were born, and I was so jealous of you. You were given that security from the moment you entered the world. It’s my fault, our relationship as kids. I made it contentious because you were from here and I wasn’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not good at being a sister. I’m sorry I’m not good with Tyler. I know you want me to be. But I can’t seem to help it. I can’t help but think how temporary everything is, and I’m scared of that kind of temporary. I’m scared of people leaving me.”

“Life is about experience, Claire,” Sydney finally said. “You can’t hold on to everything.”

Claire shook her head. “I think it might be too late for me.”

“No, it’s not.” Sydney suddenly slapped the quilt beside her angrily. “How could Mom ever think that was the kind of life for a child? It’s inexcusable. I’m ashamed of myself for envying her, and there are times I think I’ve turned out just like her, but I’m not leaving you. Never. Look at me, Claire. I’m not leaving.”

“Sometimes I wonder what her reason was. She was a smart woman. Evanelle told me she was a crackerjack student before she dropped out. Something had to have happened.”

“Whatever the reason, there’s no excuse for her messing up our lives like she did. We can get past this, Claire. We can’t let her win. Okay?”

Words were easier said than implemented, so Claire said, “Okay.” Then she wondered how in the world she was going to get past something that had taken her decades to perfect.

They stared at the water for a while. Bay had grown tired of the splashing game, and she swam back to the beach and walked over to Claire and Sydney. Henry and Tyler were still splashing at each other, each trying to make the biggest splash with his hand.

“Look at those two,” Sydney said. “Boys, the both of them.”

“This is nice,” Claire said.

Sydney put her arm around her. “Yes, it is.”

At the same time Sydney and Claire were enjoying the reservoir, Emma Clark Matteson was getting ready to spend some
quality
time with her husband.

Hunter John’s desk in his office at work wasn’t as comfortable as his desk in his office at home. The dark paneling on the walls and the ugly metal desk had been there since Hunter John’s father ran the business. Emma found herself laughing at the thought of Hunter John’s mother, Lillian, coming to the plant and greeting John Senior this way.

Lillian definitely would have changed the desk if she had. The metal was damn uncomfortable on one’s bare bottom.

Hunter John’s receptionist said that he was giving a tour of one of the plants and would be back in a few minutes. Perfect. It gave Emma enough time to undress and drape herself across his desk, wearing only stockings, garters, and a pink ribbon tied around her neck.

She’d never surprised him at his office like this. Oh, she’d come by to bring him lunch and they’d neck a little sometimes, but they’d never actually had sex at work. There were very few places she and Hunter John hadn’t done it. It was a lot of work trying to keep things interesting, trying to keep Hunter John’s attention focused only on her so he wouldn’t think of Sydney or maybe how his life hadn’t turned out quite like he wanted. Emma would never tire of trying to make her husband happy. She liked sex, after all. No, she loved sex. It was just difficult sometimes to keep going when she didn’t know if this was really what he wanted. She wanted Hunter John to love her. But in the end, if he didn’t, she didn’t want to know. She would take this over not having him at all. She wondered if her mother settled like this. She wondered if love mattered to Ariel at all.

She heard Hunter John’s voice approaching his office and opened her legs a little wider.

And in walked Hunter John’s father.

“Whoa Nelly,” John Senior said.

Emma screamed and rolled off the far side of the desk.

“What’s wrong?” She heard Hunter John enter the office as she scooted into the recess of the desk and hugged her knees to her chest.

“I think I’ll just leave you and your wife alone for a while,” John Senior said.

“My wife? Where is she?”

“Under the desk. Her clothes, however, are over there on the chair. Really, son, this is no way to run my business.”

Emma heard the door close. Then Hunter John’s footsteps approached, and he knelt facing her. “Damn it, Emma, what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“You never come here for this. Why now? Why, on the day my father decides to show up without warning for a tour to see if I’m running the place right? My father just saw you naked! I can’t believe this.”

She crawled out from under the desk. What his father thought meant the world to Hunter John. And she’d just embarrassed them both. How did things go so wrong so fast?

Everything had been fine—at least, things were pushed under the rug, where no one thought of them—until Sydney came back. Why couldn’t she have stayed away? “I’m sorry,” she said, going over to her clothes and starting to dress.

“What has gotten into you lately? You are all over me. You never want to go out together. You call me sixteen times a day. Now you show up here like this.”

She pulled her dress over her head and slid her feet into her heels. “I need to know…” She hesitated.
That you love me
.

“Need to know what?”

“That you’re going to stay with me.”

Hunter John shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been worried. Ever since Sydney came back…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Hunter John said. “You have
got
to be kidding me. This is about Sydney? Go home, Emma.” He went to the door without another look at her. “I have to catch up with my dad and try to explain this to him.”

“Do you know what I heard today from Eliza Beaufort?” Emma said brightly at dinner that night. “Sydney and Claire Waverley went on a double date to Lunsford’s Reservoir. What does Sydney think she’s doing? No one our age goes out there. And Claire! Can you imagine Claire at the reservoir?”

Hunter John didn’t look up from his dessert. It was his favorite chocolate cake with buttercream frosting. Emma had ordered it especially for him.

Instead of answering her, Hunter John wiped his mouth and put down his napkin. “Come on, boys,” he said, and pushed back his chair. “Let’s go toss a football.”

Josh and Payton immediately jumped up. They loved when their dad played with them, and Hunter John always made time for his boys.

“I’ll come with you,” Emma said. “Wait for me, okay?”

Emma rushed upstairs and changed into her red bikini, the one Hunter John liked, but when she came back down, they hadn’t waited. The pool was right off the tiled family room, so she walked out and to the balustrade that looked over the lawn below. Hunter John and the boys were playing in the yard, their hair already wet with sweat. It was seven-thirty in the evening but still light and still sweltering. Summer was a lady who didn’t give up her spotlight easily. Emma understood that. She liked summer. The boys were home, and there was so much daylight that there was still time to do things with Hunter John when he got home from work.

There was no sense in getting her hair wet if Hunter John wasn’t going to watch her swim, so she put on a sarong and cheered on the boys from the patio. She couldn’t wait for football season. Going to the high-school games, sitting in front of the television on Sunday afternoons and Monday nights. It was something they did together as a family, something that Sydney had never done with Hunter John. Sydney had gone to football games when Hunter John played, but she didn’t really like the game. Emma loved it. She loved it because he loved it. But Hunter John gave up the game when he didn’t go to Notre Dame. He gave it up because of her.

When the sun began to set, Emma brought out a pitcher of lemonade. Soon, the boys and Hunter John made their way up to the pool.

“Lemona—” she said, but before she could finish, the boys had jumped in the pool to cool off.

Emma shook her head indulgently. Hunter John was walking toward her. She smiled and held a glass out. “Lemona—”

She didn’t even get the word out before he passed her and walked into the house. He hadn’t said a word to her since the incident in his office that afternoon.

She didn’t want the boys to know anything was wrong, so she waited for them to play in the water awhile, then got them towels and made them get out. She shooed them to their rooms to change and watch television, then she went to find Hunter John.

He was in their steam shower, so Emma lifted herself to sit on the bathroom counter facing the stall and waited for him to come out.

When the door opened and he emerged, her breath caught. He could still do this to her. He was so beautiful. He had just washed his hair, and she could see how much it was thinning, but that didn’t matter to her. She loved him so much.

“We need to talk,” she said. “I need to know why you never want to discuss Sydney.”

He looked up, startled to find her there. He grabbed a towel and dried his hair vigorously. “I think the more important question is why are you so obsessed with her? Have you noticed that Sydney isn’t actually in our lives? Has it escaped your attention that she hasn’t actually done anything to us?”

“She’s done plenty, just by being back,” she said, and his movements stopped. His face was still hidden by the towel. “You won’t talk about her. How do I know you’re not talking about her because you still have feelings for her? How do I know you didn’t take one look at her and remember all the choices you had before I got pregnant? How do I know, if you went back, you would do the same thing? Would you sleep with me? Marry me?”

He slid the towel off his head. His expression was tight as he walked up close to her, which made her heart beat faster with both fear, because he looked so angry, and with anticipation, because he was so damn sexy. “How do you know?” he repeated incredulously, his voice low and vibrating.
“How do you know?”

“She’s been places. You always wanted to travel.”

“What have you been thinking these past ten years, Emma? The sex and the boob job and the sexy clothes. The perfect dinners and the football games. Was all of that because you thought I didn’t want to be here? Was any of that because you loved me at all? Or have you been competing with Sydney all this time?”