Authors: Eileen Goudge
Tags: #Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Family Life, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Sagas, #General
eyes glittering with stunned tears.
Rachel stared at him, trembling, her heart banging inside her chest.
He wouldn’t have hurt me,
she thought.
He was just acting tough. Why did I flip out like that?
She watched him whirl, and stalk away, stopping only long enough to flip her the bird before
slamming the door. The diploma on the wall crashed to the floor.
Rachel slumped over the desk, and buried her face in her hands. She felt sick to her
stomach.
Jesus. You really blew it.
[404] Suddenly, she knew what really was hurting her. Alma Saucedo. She didn’t want that to
happen again, another fragile, sick teenager, another potential tragedy.
She thought of her last visit to Alma, seeing the lifeless creature who had once been a pretty,
pregnant teenager. Still no improvement, and it had been three months. Her eyes shut. Her thin
chest pumping mechanically, the only sounds the thump-wheeze of the respirator, the soft
beeping of the cardiac monitor above the bed.
Rachel had fought the urge to kneel at her bed, beg her forgiveness. Yet, going back over it all,
step by step, she knew, given the same circumstances, she’d have done all the same things. She
had failed Alma only in making a promise she could not keep.
But apologies wouldn’t help Alma now.
Besides, it was more than Alma. It was David, too. Guerrilla warfare, sneak attacks, but never
an enemy in sight. Her lab reports mysteriously gone. The cold shoulder from nurses who used to
be so friendly. Minimal cooperation, but not one bit more, from the residents. And then, David,
who put the freeze on whenever she came into sight. Who behind her back was mucking things
up for her, then making her look like an idiot when she didn’t know what the hell was going on
with her own patients.
She had to find a way to stop him. Stand up to David, get him off her back. She needed to tell
Brian how he’d tried to rape her. And why.
But as she imagined herself doing it, she began to break into an icy sweat.
What’s wrong with me? I can handle this. I’ve always believed I could handle anything.
But lately she felt as if her control were slipping away. Small problems she’d coped with easily
now seemed to pull her down like some powerful undertow. Daily, she fought the tide, bucking
against it, swimming with all her might. By midafternoon she was exhausted, ready to give up.
Rachel kneeled on the bright Ecuadorian rug in front of her desk and began scooping papers
back into the basket. Her hands, she noticed, disgusted with herself, were trembling.
She felt a rush of air as the door swung open, footsteps. She tensed.
[405] “Let me help with that.”
No, only Kay, thank God.
Her friend crouched beside her, scooping up the rest of the litter with a single broad sweep of
her stubby hands.
“Good aim, lousy ammunition,” Kay said, rocking back on her heels, a squat, curly-haired
gnome in black Chinese pajama pants and white lab coat. Her brown eyes behind their round
lenses focused on Rachel. “I heard the whole thing. You should have hit him with this.” She
jumped to her feet, grabbed a paperweight from the desk—a geode, sparkling with amethyst
crystals.
“I should have kept my cool, that’s what I should have done,” Rachel answered, miserable. “I
feel like a jerk.”
“You’re doing it again.” Kay’s eyes narrowed.
“What?”
“Beating up on yourself. You’re a doctor. Does that mean you always have to be wonderful?
You also happen to be a human being. And that entitles you to lose your cool once in a while.”
Kay sighed, looking down at the sparkling rock cradled in her hand. “You know, sometimes I
think we never left the front lines. It’s just a different war.”
Rachel began straightening the mess of papers. “Well, I feel like I’m losing this one.”
Kay slipped an arm about her shoulders, and Rachel caught a whiff of patchouli oil. “Not by a
long shot, kiddo. A battle here and there maybe. Listen, I’ve got the perfect strategy. Take some
time off. Grab your gorgeous husband and go off somewhere, one of those quaint inns with stone
fireplaces, a four-poster bed. You know, the whole Norman Rockwell scene.”
If only it were that simple, Rachel thought.
“I can’t,” she said.
“Why not? Nancy and I can hold the fort down for a few days.”
“It’s not fair. You two haven’t had a vacation either.”
“Someone’s gotta be first. Anyway, if I had a husband—never mind one as sexy as yours—I’d
want to stoke the fire once in a while. Never let it be said I stood in the way of life, liberty, and
the pursuit of great sex.”
“Thanks, Kay. I’ll think about it.”
Kay grinned. “For an OB, you know surprisingly little about [406] the birds and the bees. It
takes more than just ‘thinking about it,’ my dear.”
Rachel, grateful to Kay for lifting her spirits, laughed, and thought,
Well, why not?
To forget, even for a little while, the waiting room full of women with huge bellies, children
clinging to their skirts, forget the lunch meeting with HEW to discuss new funding, forget about
Alma Saucedo ...
And most of all, forget about David Sloane.
She watched Kay get up, walk over to the tiny sink wedged in the corner by the window, where
a coffee maker and hot plate were set up. Kay rummaged in a shoebox containing a jumble of
loose tea bags, packets of sugar and Sweet’n Low, individually wrapped toothpicks, plastic
envelopes of duck sauce left over from Chinese take-out. She fished out a foil packet marked
Lipton’s,
and tossed it over to Rachel.
“Instant chicken soup,” she said. “Just add advice, and stir.”
Rachel stiffened, sensing what was coming. “Why do I get the feeling this is going to hurt?”
“Rachel.” Kay was confronting her, serious now. “You’ve got to stop. It’s killing you. Sloane
is a maniac. But don’t you see? You’re helping him. It’s
your
silence, and he’s using it against
you.” She paused. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but there’s talk among the nurses that Sloane is
trying to get your privileges revoked.”
Rachel felt as if she’d been struck. “The bastard.”
“He should be thrown in jail for what he did to you,” Kay went on, furious. “And if you hadn’t
made me promise to keep this a secret I’d march over there right now and announce it over the
PA.”
“It’s not David I’m afraid of,” Rachel said, “it’s Brian. If he knew ...” A knock at the door
caused her to break off.
It was their secretary, Gloria Fuentes. She looked nervous, standing there, twirling a strand of
her long dark hair round her index finger.
“There’s someone here, Doctor Rosenthal,” Gloria said. “A man. He has something for you.
It’s important, he says.”
A salesman probably, from one of the drug companies, she thought. They all think everything
they’re peddling is going to save the world.
[407] “All right,” she said and sighed. “Show him in.”
He was very fat. You could see a bit of his undershirt between the straining buttons of his drip-
dry shirt. And he wore a yarmulke, embroidered in gold with the name “Dave.” Not a salesman,
she thought. Maybe from some poor yeshiva, wanting a donation.
“You Dr. Rosenthal?” he asked with a heavy Brooklyn accent.
She nodded.
He handed her a long thin envelope, then turned and disappeared through the door.
Rachel was suddenly afraid. What was in this envelope? She felt an urge to tear it up
unopened, flush it down the toilet in a million tiny pieces.
But she opened it.
Her eyes skipped across the oddly typed document. County of New York. State of New York.
Hector and Bonita Saucedo, Plaintiffs, vs. Dr. Rachel Rosenthal, Defendant.
Alma’s parents were suing her for malpractice.
Rachel felt dizzy, a terrible hot ache fanning up through her rib cage.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and saw pinpricks of light across the insides of her eyelids.
David,
she thought.
It’s him. He’s behind this. I know it. He’s got to be.
And he won’t stop, he won’t let up until it’s over, until he’s got me flat on my back, just like
before.
So he can cut the life out of me all over again.
Chapter 28
The case of
Tyler v. Krupnik
was unusual, all right. Rose had suspected it would be when last
Thursday Bernie Stendahl had given her the file with a broad wink, along with the red-flag
words, “Have fun.”
Now, ushering Shimon Krupnik into her tiny office off the conference room, Rose wondered
how on earth she was going to deal with this guy. Krupnik looked like someone out of a time
machine, a visitor from a nineteenth-century ghetto. Eighty degrees outside, and he was wearing a
long, black double-breasted overcoat, and a heavy black felt hat. His face was pale, his eyes
molelike, behind thick rimless spectacles, as if he had lived all his life in a tunnel. Two long curls
spiraled from each temple, and a moth-eaten-looking black beard only partly obscured his pasty
cheeks.
Holy Jesus,
she thought,
what do I say to him?
She extended her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. Krupnik. Mr. Stendahl sends his
apologies. He couldn’t be here, I’m afraid.”
Something’s wrong,
she thought, feeling uneasy. Krupnik was standing there, staring at her
hand as if she were holding out a dead snake.
He mumbled something like “My pleasure,” but still didn’t take her hand.
Then she remembered. A Jewish friend had once told her. Hasidic men don’t touch women
other than their wives. Ever.
Warmth rose in her cheeks, and she quickly dropped her hand, smoothing her skirt with it, as if
she hadn’t noticed. She asked, “Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
He shook his head, and she caught the slight startled uplift of his eyebrows. Then she realized.
Of course. Unclean cups, not kosher.
Good Lord, I’ve hardly begun ... and already two strikes.
“Why don’t you have a seat,” she said, pointing to the loveseat [409] covered in faded green
velveteen that matched the rows of leather spines lining the bookshelves above it.
Rose, watching him settle stiffly on the corner of one couch cushion, found herself
remembering the Hasidic Jews she used to see as a child. Otherworldly men hurrying along
Avenue J, black coats flapping, staring straight ahead, avoiding the eyes of any female. Once,
passing a group of them, Nonnie had poked Rose and hissed furiously, “They wear those hats to
hide their horns. It’s the mark of the devil. To remind us they killed our Lord Jesus Christ, killed
Him in cold blood like He was a dog.”
This was the first time she’d ever spoken to a Hasid, and she was nervous. She wished Max
were there. He’d know what to say.
Thinking of Max somehow calmed her. She pictured him uncorking a bottle of chilled
Chardonnay at the end of a day, knowing exactly what she needed. Even music. Vivaldi, John
Renbourne, Cat Stevens if her nerves were ragged; the Moody Blues, Led Zeppelin, Beethoven’s
Ninth, if she felt like a pick-me-up.
Two days, he’d said. And now it was two months. He’d been looking at apartments, but none
of them seemed right. And the truth was, she was getting used to having him around. No, more
than that, she
liked
it.
Rose, forcing her attention back to her client, looked down at the file in front of her.
Krupnik was accused of attacking Tyler, who operated a news kiosk under the Kings Highway
BMT trestle. Tyler claimed to police that Krupnik, enraged at seeing a Zionist newspaper
displayed—the Satmyr sect, it seemed, was violently opposed to Zionism on the grounds that
God Himself had not designated Israel as the Holy Land—demanded Tyler remove it. Tyler
refused, at which point Krupnik allegedly knocked Tyler to the ground, and hit him repeatedly.
Bystanders gave chase, apprehending a man believed to be the perpetrator. Tyler identified him
as such.
Krupnik denied everything. He’d been a block away from that kiosk, locking up his print shop.
People rushed at him, grabbing him from behind. The red stains on his hands were red ink, not
blood. Nevertheless, he was arrested. But charges were dismissed for insufficient evidence. No
eyewitnesses other than Tyler could swear that Krupnik was the perpetrator.
[410] Tyler then filed a civil suit, demanding three hundred thousand dollars in damages.
“Will I have to testify?” Krupnik blurted, his long white fingers twisting nervously together in
his lap.
Rose smiled at him, hoping to put him at ease. Maybe he wasn’t too different at that, she
thought. Everyone was nervous facing a judge and jury.
“Not necessarily,” she told him. “We have witnesses. But it would help. Aside from the facts of
the case itself, a jury will want to know what sort of person you are, what kind of life you lead.”
She paused, remembering Nonnie’s horrible remark, and how suspicious, even fearful, people
were of anyone different. “Mr. Krupnik, are you married?”
He blinked twice, his fingers twisting more relentlessly than ever. “I live with my mother.”
“How old are you, Mr. Krupnik?”
“Forty-three next month, the Holy One willing.”