Gansett After Dark (5 page)

“I know you do, and I’m trying to let you in. It’s just… It’s hard.”

The pain she heard in his voice killed her and made her wish there was something—anything—she could do to spare him the awful ordeal that loomed so large for him. Though she wanted to encourage him to talk to her, instead she gave him the silence he seemed to need. As darkness encroached upon their slice of paradise, Laura reluctantly withdrew her hand from his grasp.

“I should go feed Holden and put him down.”

“I’ll clean up down here and be right along.”

She kissed his cheek. “Don’t take too long.”

“I won’t.”

Sensing he needed some time to himself, Laura left him staring out at the water and walked up the stairs that led to the deck. At the landing, she used the hose to wash the sand off her feet and then stepped on the towel she’d carried from the beach to dry them. The sound of happy voices, the clatter of dishes and the tinkle of crystal stemware coming from Stephanie’s Bistro in the lobby followed her up the stairs to the third floor.

In the apartment, Shane was stretched out on the floor next to Holden, who was playing with his stuffed animals. He was dressed in his zebra pajamas, and his hair was still damp from the bath. His face lit up with delight at the sight of his mother. “Mmmam.”

“Oh, that’s so close to mama,” Shane said. “Come on, buddy. You can do it. Mama.”

“Mmm.”

“He’ll probably say dada first,” Laura said. “They always do.”

“That’s really not fair.”

“Right?” She bent to retrieve Holden from the floor, gasping when her back protested.

“Careful!” Shane jumped up to relieve her of the baby, who got heavier by the day.

Laura rubbed her lower back. “That was weird.”

“He’s too heavy for you to lift him off the floor that way.”

“Yes, Dr. McCarthy.”

“I’m serious, Laura. He’s not a lightweight anymore, and you’ve got my other niece and nephew to think about.”

“What makes you think I’m having one of each?”

“Just a guess.”

“That would be nice, since we’re all done having babies after these guys. I’ve puked enough to last me two lifetimes.”

“Can’t say I blame you.” He kissed Holden’s chubby face and handed him over to her. “Thanks for a great time tonight.”

“It was fun.”

“Owen was kind of quiet.”

“I know.”

“Are you guys going to Seamus and Carolina’s clambake tomorrow?”

“I think we are. I guess it’ll depend on whether Owen’s in the mood for a party.”

Shane kissed her cheek. “Hang in there. It’ll be over soon, and you guys can focus on the future rather than the past.” At the doorway, he turned back to her. “I’m here if you need me for anything at all.”

“You’re already doing me a huge favor covering for me here while we’re gone. I appreciate it.”

“Least I can do,” he said with a smile and a wave as he closed the door behind him.

The two of them had been through a lot together, first with the loss of their mother as young children and then two painful divorces, all of which had made them the best of friends in addition to being siblings. She loved having Shane close by and back in her daily life—as well as her son’s daily life.

As she sat in the rocker in Holden’s room to nurse him, her thoughts turned once again to Owen and the difficult question that weighed heavily on her mind. Should she cede to his wishes and stay home from the trip, or should she insist on going with him? She was no closer to an answer half an hour later when she tucked her sleeping baby into bed and drew the light blanket up and over him.
 

As she looked down at Holden, so perfect in every way, her heart broke for another perfect little boy who’d had the misfortune to be born to a violent, unpredictable man who would never know what a strong, capable, loving man that boy had grown up to be. Tears filled her eyes when she thought of the deep pain Owen carried with him, despite his carefree exterior. She’d do anything to relieve him of even a fraction of that pain, if only she knew how.

Laura took a shower and changed into a nightgown before sliding into bed. She was beginning to worry about Owen when she finally heard him come into the apartment and head right to the shower. Though her eyes were heavy with the ever-present exhaustion, she forced herself to stay awake until he came to bed.

She let him know she was still awake by putting her hand on his chest.

He covered her hand with his own and then turned to her.

In complete and unusual silence, he snuggled up to her, clinging to her in a way he seldom did. For once, he was taking rather than giving, and she was more than happy to give him whatever he needed.

Laura ran her hand up and down his back and raised her face to try to see him in the faint glow of the streetlights. As he looked down at her, she kissed him.

He turned his face away. “I can’t.”

Confounded by his unprecedented rejection, she said, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t make love to you tonight. I’m wound up, and I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

“Owen, you could never hurt me.”

“I can’t take that chance.”

“Then allow me.”

“Wait. Allow you to do what?”

Her exhaustion forgotten in the face of his obvious need, she rose to her knees and pushed on his shoulder until he was lying on his back.

“Laura…”

“Shhh. You take care of me every day in a thousand different ways. And yet you find it so very difficult to allow me to take care of you.” She leaned over him, kissing his chest while her hand caressed his stomach. “I love you as much as you love me. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I know, but—”

“No buts about it. Let me love you. Let me take care of you.”

“You’re tired, and you need your rest.”

“I’ll get plenty of rest, but right now I need you.”

He stopped protesting, but his muscles remained rigid and tense.
 

She slowly kissed her way down the front of him while caressing his chest and stomach. The only sign he gave that she was getting to him was the restless movement of his legs under the covers. “Relax,” she whispered. “Close your eyes and just enjoy it.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. You can do it for me.”

He blew out a deep breath that sounded frustrated, but his body seemed to lose some of the tension.

Encouraged by his partial capitulation, she continued downward, uncovering the erection that stretched past his belly button. She took him in hand and stroked him the way she knew he liked it.

Sucking in a sharp breath, he lifted his hips off the bed.

Laura bent her head and fitted her lips around the broad crown while continuing to stroke him.

He gasped and fisted her hair, seeming to give in to the inevitable now.
 

She opened her mouth wider and took more of him, using her tongue as well as her hand and the heat of her mouth to pleasure him. “So much more than your share,” she teased when she came up for air.

The comment, as usual, made him laugh. “Come up here.”

“In a minute. I’m not done yet.”

“We’ll be all done in less than ten seconds if you keep that up.”

Since she yearned for the connection with him, to show him in every way she could that she loved him, she yielded to his wishes but didn’t surrender control. Rather, she straddled him and leaned over to kiss his lips. “How’s this?”

“Amazing as always.” Running his hands from her thighs to her waist, he eased her nightgown up and over her head.
 

Laura hated how big and ungainly her breasts were getting with this pregnancy, but Owen said he loved them—almost as much as he loved teasing her about them. Tonight there was no indication of amusement. Tonight he was all about reverence as he filled his hands to overflowing.

He sat up to gain access to her and drew her left nipple into his mouth.

Laura wrapped her arms around him and held on as he aroused her the way no one else ever had or ever could. His touch set her on fire. She raised her hips until she hovered above his erection and took him in slowly, giving herself time to adjust to his considerable size.
 

“Easy, baby,” he whispered as he kissed her. “Nice and easy.”

She had no choice but to take it easy where he was concerned. The thought made her laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“The usual thing.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Yes, it is,” she said, delighted by the amusement she heard in his tone. “It’s hilarious.”

“You didn’t let me pull out all the stops to prepare you.”

“Because you said you didn’t want me tonight.”

“I never said that. I would never say that.” As he spoke, he leaned forward, forcing her onto her back. He followed her, never losing their tenuous connection. “I said I was afraid I might hurt you because I was wound up.”

“And I said you could never hurt me, because I believe that’s true.”

“I’d never hurt you on purpose.” He withdrew from her and leaned over to kiss the small baby bump. “Or our babies.”

Aching for him, Laura combed her fingers through his shaggy blond hair. “I heard something about pulling out all the stops to prepare me?” Despite the ache, she kept her tone lighthearted, hoping it would have the desired effect on him.

“I might’ve mentioned something about that.” He never touched her with anything other than supreme tenderness, but tonight he took the tenderness to a whole new level, perhaps trying to compensate for his fear of losing control. Settling between her legs, which were propped on his broad shoulders, he opened her to his tongue.
 

Laura arched into the heat of his mouth, grasping handfuls of the sheet to anchor her to the bed. Encouraged by her moans of pleasure, he slid a finger into her as he sucked on her clit. The combination detonated her release, forcing her to muffle her cries with her hands so she wouldn’t wake the baby. As she came down from the incredible high, he moved over her but kept her legs propped open on his thighs.

“I think you might be more ready now,” he said, testing his theory with his fingers.

“I think you might be right,” she said between deep breaths.

“Let’s see, shall we?”

Laura reached for him, bringing him in for a kiss as he pressed his cock into her, his entry stretching and burning despite the preparation.
 

“So hot and so tight,” he whispered against her lips as he moved her legs from his thighs to wrap them around his hips. “It’s all I can do to hold on until you let me in. Every damned time.”

“I’m sorry it takes so long.”

“I’m not. It feels better than anything ever has.”

“For me, too.”

“I don’t know if I believe that. I get an awful lot of complaints.”

His teasing was a huge relief to her. Underneath all the worry and heartache he was dealing with, her Owen was still in there and hopefully still would be after the showdown with his father.
 

“They’re not complaints, per se, but rather commentary on the fact that you did, in fact, get more than your share.”
 

His laughter went a long way toward easing the knot she’d carried in her belly all day as she worried about the trial causing a rift between them. She couldn’t let that happen. No matter how difficult it got, she had to be the one to keep them on an even keel. He deserved nothing less after all he’d given her.

He kissed and touched and cajoled until he was fully embedded in her, which caused them both to tremble and cling to each other. Owen was always careful not to put too much weight on her abdomen, and tonight was no exception. He took her on an exquisitely erotic journey without causing her a moment of pain or uncertainty over how much he loved her.
 

He told her so every time he looked at her or touched her or spoke to her. As he made slow, sweet love to her, his gentle strokes igniting her all over again, Laura wished she could make him see that there wasn’t one bit of his father in the man he’d grown up to be.

“Owen.”

“What?”

“I love you so much. I love you more than I’ll ever love anyone.”

“You’re allowed to love our babies more than you love me.”

She shook her head. “I love them as much as I love you. Not more.”

His forehead landed on hers. His hands curled around her shoulders as he pressed deeper into her.

Laura tightened her legs around him and lifted her hips to meet him stroke for stroke until they both cried out from the incredible pleasure that overtook them. Still buried deep inside her, he moved to his side, taking her with him. He pulled her leg up and over his hip as he continued to throb and pulse with aftershocks.

Touching her lips to his chest, Laura closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of him. “If you really don’t want me to go with you, I’ll stay home. If that’s what you need, I’ll do it.”