Authors: Melissa Foster
“What?” She felt her cheeks flush.
He shook his head. “You. Everything. I’ve missed you, Ellie. It’s been way too fucking long. Best friends should never be apart for that long.”
Best friends
. She liked the sound of that. Almost as much as she liked being called his girlfriend.
An hour later, Ellie and Dex had showered and climbed into bed. Dex in his boxers and Ellie wearing one of Dex’s T-shirts. A cool breeze whispered across Ellie’s skin.
“I’m right here.” Ellie snuggled against him as she lifted her chin toward the open window. “I think you can close it.”
“Just because I let you into my heart doesn’t mean you can control my window,” he teased. “It reminds me of you. I’m not sure I even know how to sleep with it closed anymore.”
Dex held their notes in his right hand, and he draped his left arm over Ellie, pulling her close. A small reading light cast a yellow glow over the notebook, which Dex was once again studying. Ellie watched him for a moment and then was lulled into the rhythm of his heartbeat against her ear and the cadence of his breathing. She closed her eyes, and the last thought she had before drifting into the most blissful sleep of the last four years was,
I’m sure of you. And you can be sure of me, too.
DEX’S PHONE VIBRATED at two in the morning. He started awake and snagged it, hoping it wouldn’t wake Ellie.
Siena?
Why was she texting so late?
Sorry about today
. Dex rolled his eyes. That’s what was so important at two in the morning?
He texted back.
No worries, but don’t ever say that again. You do know it’s 2, right?
A minute later she texted back.
Who r u kidding? You work from midnight till morning.
He smiled as he typed his response, knowing it would make Siena squeal.
Not when Ellie’s here.
He silenced his phone, knowing she could text all night, and a second later she did.
Yay! Happy 4 u. I’ll bring the camera next time I see you 2. Haha.
He smiled at her response, then set the phone aside and curled his body around Ellie. He made a silent deal with God and the devil and anyone else who would listen that he would do anything if it would keep Ellie in his life. Then he closed his eyes and held on tight.
ELLIE SPENT THE next few mornings at Maple Elementary getting to know her coworkers and preparing for her first day with the students. Dex worked long hours in preparation for his release, and they came together in the evenings as if they’d been living together forever. They worked into the night, putting their thoughts for the educational software and platform to a coordinated proposal of technical and educational specifications.
Late Saturday morning, Ellie sat beside the glass balcony doors, the heat of the sun warming her legs. She rubbed her hand across the warm area on her thigh. She heard Dex talking on Skype while playing a game on his computer in the other room. His laugh sent a shiver down her back. When she looked at him, she swore she could feel blood pumping life into her heart. She loved knowing he was right in the other room and realized, as she sat listening to him laugh and then curse at his game, that she’d begun to feel things again—emotions she’d hidden from forever, and she wondered how she had gotten along without him for so long.
A knock at the door drew her attention. Before Ellie reached the foyer, Regina and Mitch walked in with four cups of coffee and a bakery bag.
“Hey, Ellie.” Mitch handed her a cup of coffee. He flinched and shot a look at Regina. “Oh, Reg, we shouldn’t just walk in anymore. Sorry, Ellie. We’re not used to the big guy having company.”
“She’s not company. She lives here,” Regina corrected him with a stern voice.
Ellie froze. Regina had been so nice the other morning that her comment took her by surprise.
Regina elbowed her. “Relax. It’s the only way to clarify to him that you two are an item.” She pointed to her head. “Thick.”
Ellie let out a breath.
“I’m not thick up there. It’s down below you have to worry about.” Mitch winked.
Regina rolled her eyes. She handed Ellie a Danish. “Is he in the office?”
“Yeah. Come on back.”
They joined Dex in the office, where he was no longer on Skype but sat before three glowing monitors. He was playing
World of Thieves II
on one and watching a podcast on another. The third was set to a game-review site. He didn’t turn around when they came in.
“I’m leveling up. Give me a sec,” Dex said.
Leveling up
. How many years had she heard him say that when they were younger? Ellie had spent hours sitting beside Dex while he played video and PC games. Had she paid attention, she could have memorized them, but games had never held her interest. It was the intensity with which Dex played that intrigued her. He didn’t just play the games; he seemed to live them. She used to love the way his muscles tensed and his eyes lit up when he played. And listening to his voice as he’d narrate while he played, explaining the storyline, or his hooting and hollering when he did something amazing in the game, had always soothed her, made her feel like she was part of his world.
Earlier that morning, when they’d made love, Dex had told her that he wanted a million lives with her. As corny as it was, it had made her heart soar, because in Dex’s gamer mind, things didn’t get much better than that. A little thrill chased the memory up the back of her neck.
Mitch took off his sweatshirt and tossed it on a chair. “Ellie, you don’t mind that he plays games?”
She shrugged. “He’s played ever since we were kids. Why would I mind?”
Regina poked Mitch in the back. “See, not all women mind.”
Mitch plopped into a chair in front of another computer. “Right. Well, I haven’t met the ones who don’t. They don’t mind for a day or two, but then they’re all,
You never pay attention to me.
”
Regina took a pack of Twizzlers from her back pocket and stuck one in her mouth. She wore a long-sleeved shirt that clung to her ribs and a pair of jeans littered with holes and cinched across her hips with a thick leather belt.
“How would you know? You never even date.” Regina turned on her computer.
“What? I date,” Mitch retorted unconvincingly.
“Right. Then you’re just not looking hard enough,” Regina said.
“Ellie’s off-limits,” Dex added before cursing at his game.
Ellie stood behind him with her hand on his chair, watching the figures on the monitor battle their way up a treacherously steep cliff. Lightning streaked the dark sky around them, and as they made their way to the top of the rocky ridge, his character made two forceful thrashes with his sword and then one final thrust through his opponent’s chest, sending his opponent staggering backward, blood spurting from his muscular chest. Two heavy chains crossed the long leather vest he wore, dripping with blood and
clanking
as he stumbled toward the jagged ridge. His arms pedaled backward as he teetered on the edge of defeat. Dex’s character took three determined steps forward and landed a hard sidekick to the man’s chest, sending him spiraling over into the dark abyss below.
Dex’s arms shot up in the air with a
whoop
. “Yes! The master wins again!” He pulled Ellie into his lap. “Watch.” He held her around her waist as the screen exploded in a flurry of flashing colors before going completely black and then coming back to life with his character walking through an elaborate iron gate. His powerful legs carried him through massive wooden doors of a stone castle. The words
RETICENT HOLLOW
were carved above the arched doorway.
Ellie gasped. She gripped Dex’s hand, his words whispering through her mind.
Don’t go to your silent place. Don’t go reticent on me
. He pressed her hand to his cheek, then kissed it with a wink and a nod. She watched his character take the stone steps two at a time to a dark room. In the center of the darkness was a woman, her arms wrapped around her knees, her head bowed. He stepped closer, and she raised her head, revealing beautiful green eyes and thick dark hair. The characters stared at each other for what felt like interminable minutes. The sound of two heartbeats melding into one echoed from the speakers. The character reached for the woman as the heartbeats faded in the background to a whisper of a pulse. A tear tumbled down the woman’s cheek as she rose to her feet and fell into her savior’s muscular arms. “You can always be sure of me,” he said.
The edges of the screen faded to black, closing in slowly until all that was left was a tiny circle of the savior’s back and the sound of their hearts beating on.
Ellie’s body stiffened. Her heart stilled.
“That’s the stupidest line ever,” Mitch said with a laugh.
“I think it’s kind of romantic,” Regina said.
Ellie looked into Dex’s warm blue eyes.
Oh, Dexy. And you can always be sure of me
. He smiled at the same time she did, the secret words of their love passing silently between them. He pulled her close and nuzzled against her neck. “Always,” he whispered.
She could barely breathe past the lump in her throat. He’d memorialized their love. The love she’d almost thrown away. Jesus, maybe fate was real after all. She took a few deep breaths and pushed to her shaky legs before she began to bawl like a baby.
“Okay…” She cleared her throat. “On that note, I’m heading out to get a new bag.” Ellie touched Dex’s shoulder, and he pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss. A kiss that pushed that lump away and replaced it with security—and embarrassment. “Dex,” she whispered, heat creeping up her cheeks.
“What?” He flashed his crooked grin, which clearly said,
I can’t help it if I want you every minute.
She was surprised to see that Regina and Mitch were intent on reading something on Mitch’s computer screen, as if they hadn’t even noticed the kiss that sent her heart reeling.
“Forums look good. Same old shit from KI touting their stuff as more dynamic, faster game play, ripping ours, but fans are coming to our rescue.” Regina pulled out another Twizzler and put it in her mouth.
“I’m gonna run.” Ellie wondered if they could hear the quiver of lust and embarrassment in her voice as strongly as she could feel it.
“Hey, El?” Regina called after her.
“Yeah?”
“We don’t judge. No worries, okay?”
Blushing again, she nodded. “Thanks. I’m not used to—”
“Sucking face in public. Yeah, we get it, but really, we’re both happy for you guys. I was starting to worry that Dex was gonna be one of those thirty-year-old guys who lived alone with his nose in a computer twenty-four-seven.” She arched a brow in Mitch’s direction.
He reached over his worktable and swatted her.
THE BRISK AIR stung Ellie’s cheeks as she walked down the street. A sense of calm had washed over her during the last few days, and as she headed toward the shops, she felt pride blossoming inside of her. She’d not only stayed with Dex, but the urge to flee was no longer swirling inside her mind like an ever-present Tasmanian devil. She might be a master at telling herself things would be okay, but she was no master at ridding her body of the storm of worry that followed her thoughts like shadows. Today that shadow was almost gone as she put one foot in front of the other, feeling, wanting, needing Dex in every part of her life.
She took the subway to Greenwich Village. Ellie had read online about a thrift shop that looked like it had a few bags that she not only liked but could afford. Her other option was a street vendor, and she’d happily go that route, but the less expensive the better until her paychecks started rolling in.
As teenagers, she and Dex had gone into the city a few times. One of her favorite memories was when they’d spent the afternoon walking through the Village. Dex had always carried himself with quiet confidence, and she remembered that when they’d come to the Village she’d felt safe with him, much like she did now, while living with him.
Living with him
. How the hell did that happen? The word
fate
whispered through her mind and brought a smile to her lips. She thought about how she’d ended up at Dex’s apartment. Dina hadn’t reached out to her again, which was probably a good thing. She realized that Dina was probably a more typical twenty-five-year-old in that way than she was, but Ellie didn’t care. She’d given up aiming for
typical
a long time ago. Everyone had their comfort zone, and she had always tried to remain in control of hers. Dex pushed her to the brink in that regard, but somehow when he did it, it wasn’t so hard to deal with.
She gazed in the thrift shop window, thinking of Dex and the ending of the game he was releasing into the world.
Reticent Hollow.
He hadn’t forgotten about her after she’d gone away.
What have I done to deserve him?
A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts, snaking its way toward her and searing her nerves like a hot bullet. Her body froze and her pulse soared.
Fuck
. She spun around looking for Bruce and caught sight of him two stores away, his arm around a tall blond woman. Ellie hurried inside the thrift shop, thinking of the annoying texts he’d sent her over the past week, claiming he’d missed her and that they weren’t “done.” She hadn’t answered any of his texts, and now, knowing he was right there in New York, she almost wished she’d stayed in Maryland. No, she didn’t. She wouldn’t trade being with Dex for anything. She hovered behind a rack, watching out the window until he passed. What the hell was he doing in New York? Was that his wife?
Shit
. This was the last straw. Her veins burned with anger. She watched his handsome profile move slowly past the window. Short brown hair, wide jaw, penetrating eyes—which she couldn’t see from her angle but she could damn well picture. Why were all assholes gorgeous? Bastard. Her hands fisted, and sweat formed on her brow despite the cool air.
“Can I help you find something?”
Ellie started. “Oh. Um. No, thanks. I’m…just looking.”
Hiding
. She started for the door, planning on hightailing it back to Dex’s apartment, but when she reached the door, she froze. She’d already run. She’d left her job behind, a job she’d really enjoyed, with kids she cared for. She drew her shoulders back, refusing to be forced back into the person she’d been when she was younger. Fuck him. She came for a purse, and she was going to find one.
I didn’t know he was married. He’s the asshole, not me
. She bit her lower lip as she tried her damnedest to convince herself and draw courage from her silent pep talk.
He can’t hurt me anymore.
After a deep breath, shaky as a leaf in the wind, she turned back around and headed for the bags.