Futile Flame (12 page)

A cold numbness entered my limbs. I stared down at my body. My clothing and my skin had merged into the wall. I had begun to melt away. I cried out in fright and my body became whole again immediately. As I stood there, I thought once more of the subconscious wish I’d made. I had willed myself invisible, and it had happened. Could that be possible? Consciously I desired invisibility again. I watched in amazement as my colours changed, observed how I merged, or seemed to merge, with the scenery even when I moved.

I glanced up at the road, and could no longer see the carriage. I believed at that point I would never see the girl again. I began to move deeper into the town, looking for a place to rest. All thoughts of her pushed away by my new discovery. I walked through the village completely unnoticed now. The coldness in my limbs became more comfortable the more I retained the invisibility. I stood in the middle of a bakery shop, admiring the pastries, cakes and bread; all luxuries I had been denied over the previous weeks. I rested my hand on a loaf. My contact affected its appearance immediately. I soon realised that I could take what I wanted and no one would ever see. The food disappeared at my touch so I helped myself and folded the goods into my clothing before scurrying away. Finding a corner, I sat and ate. The food tasted like nectar. After eating, I went into the stable attached to the tavern and climbed up into the hayloft to sleep.

The next day I woke to the sounds of a stable hand whistling as he fed the only horse stabled there. I heard the horse crunching the hay, smelt the sickly sweet odour of the dried grass mingled with the animal’s saliva. The boy left and quickly returned with a bucket of water, which he tipped into a trough. As the animal ate and drank, I watched the boy examine the horse’s legs, lifting its hooves as he used a knife to clean out the road grit from its shoes. I wondered how I might slip away unnoticed but then recalled my latest discovery from the previous night.

Invisible, I slipped out of the stables, into the street, ready to examine the shops and houses of the village. Now that I could move about unseen, the need to leave quickly diminished. I was curious about being around people again. I knew I wouldn’t starve as taking food and clothing would no longer be difficult.

The streets were still deserted as I walked down them, weaving in and out of the well-structured buildings. This close to Rome, the town was more civilised than the others I’d been in so far; the formations more like Roman houses and roads. It was a large town. It had many amenities, including a bath house; a desirable prospect. The touch of warm water was something I had almost come to believe I would never feel again so I kept it in mind to do later. There was the bakery again, a ladies dressmaker, a general store, a grocer and of course a market that sold fresh fish, meats, imported fabric and all kinds of household items from brooms to pots and pans.

I wandered through the market watching the merchants set up and stood by as the morning extended. The meat stall drew me. The smell of blood pulled at my insides. I knew I needed it, had to have it. But would animal blood fulfil me as much as human? The market began to fill. A servant girl weaved her way through the crowd towards the meat vendor; she had such strange arrogance that she drew my attention. Behind her loitered a young mother and a small child followed closely by the husband. I watched their progress as they travelled from one stall to another. The servant leading, the employers following. Then I saw the exchanged looks between the man and the girl and realised where her haughtiness came from. For now at least, she was the honoured lady of the house, the wife merely a token or figurehead. I turned away as I heard the screams and wails of another child. My eyes fell on a small boy, who I vaguely recognised. He was standing before a stall selling toys. No longer invisible, I merged with the crowd, moving closer to hear the conversation.

‘Joanna said I could have it!’ the boy cried. ‘She promised.’

‘I know, Peatro, but your sister isn’t here. We must wait. She’s gone to see the dressmaker.’

‘But I want it now!’

The governess glanced at the stallholder, shrugging with slight embarrassment as Peatro stamped his foot.

‘She will be here shortly. I didn’t bring my purse with me.’

‘Then I’ll take it and you wait here for Joanna to pay.’

The stall holder twitched his long moustache nervously, ‘I’m sorry but nothing leaves my stall until paid for.’

Peatro looked at the man with contempt. ‘Do you know who I am? My father is the justice here.’

The governess sighed. She had obviously seen Peatro play this one out before. ‘Peatro...’

‘Joanna!’ the boy shouted. The pretty girl I’d noticed the day before arrived. ‘They won’t let me have the gift you promised.’

Joanna patted her brother indulgently and promptly paid for the wooden top that he desired. Peatro snatched it from the stall and ran off down the street to try it out. The governess followed.

‘Sorry,’ Joanna said to the stall owner. ‘He is only a boy, and not very patient.’

The stallholder said nothing, but handed Joanna her change. She quickly walked away, a slight flush of embarrassment colouring her cheeks.

I moved closer to the stall.

‘Who is she?’ I asked.

I met the man’s gaze. For a moment it seemed as though he would send me away without answering. After all I no longer looked like the proud lady I once was. My manner too felt as lowly as my dress. I wore the grime of several weeks on the road. The man rolled his eyes and sighed.

‘She is Justice Adimari’s eldest daughter, and pleasant enough. The boy is her spoilt little brother.’

‘Thank you.’

My eyes followed as Joanna continued to weave through the crowd and away from the small market. Compelled, as I had been when I first saw her, I pursued. Joanna Adimari’s simple beauty had completely seduced me.

Chapter 19 – Lucrezia’s Story

I tracked them home. I had to. My obsession with Joanna pulled me along as though I had been tethered to her with an invisible cord. Her beauty and innocence were my seduction. Her patience, my desire. Her blood, my need.

For part of the journey I had to hide myself from human eyes once more. The streets were empty as we left the town centre, but my fangs burst forth at the distant sight of her. It was an instinctive response to a desire that was both sexual and impulsive. It was completely beyond my control. On some level I recognised it as a crush reminiscent to those I’d had with various men throughout my life. Guilt at the perversity of wanting another woman in this way crept up the back of my neck, where I felt my skin flush and prickle.

Desire drove me. I was its victim. Joanna had me in her thrall. I knew that what I needed from her could only be taken, would never be freely given. I knew that what I wanted would be effectively rape, the same as I had suffered at the hands of my brother for all those years. That thought alone should have sent me scurrying away in shame and horror, but the idea of being the one in control and of taking someone else for my own needs was so compelling that I had to see how far I could go.

Joanna and her family lived in a house next to the court, in the centre of the town. The Justice had accumulated wealth, probably as all of them did, from the handouts of the semi-wealthy merchants who wanted favours from him in return. It was business. Politics. I understood these things too well, had seen them in my own childhood world. Many an innocent would have paid the price for the Justice’s political advancement which meant that with money and power also came enemies, and the Justice’s enemies could find him all too easily. Therefore the house was surrounded by a high wall which completely enclosed it, keeping out the criminal world and keeping him and his family safe.

As they approached the house I noticed the discreet guard that flanked their progress along the road. How stupid of me not to observe them weaving in and out of the crowd in the market. Joanna and Peatro ignored the six men; clearly this was borne out of a lifetime of familiarity, but the governess glanced at them nervously as they drew closer to the huge gates of the house. One of the guards whistled, and a side gate swung open allowing them all to enter.

I stood across the street, watching my obsession disappear into the whitewashed building. As the door closed behind her it was as if a magnet had been switched off. My fangs retracted. I was trembling. I felt like the victim.

Rage took me swiftly. Anger and pain, mixed with grief and remorse. I had been in the thrall of someone else, and I hated her for that. I realised that, in my new life, no one should have power over me. I was in control of my life and destiny. I had amazing strength and speed. I would never willingly lose control. Joanna’s beauty was a fascination. It had compelled me, but in the end I could, if I wanted, walk away. My mind, not my new nature, would decide.

At that moment, my mind wanted to kill Joanna Adimari.

I waited until night had fallen, growing hungrier by the minute. As soon as it was dark, I crept unheard and unseen into the house of the Justice. It was so easy now I was invisible. I scaled the wall that surrounded the house as though it was nothing. The merest dent or groove was an easy foot or hand-hold for me as I gathered speed and almost flew to the top. Once there I looked down the other side. The drop was around thirty feet into the courtyard. There was a guard below and despite my chameleonic nature I was concerned that I might be hurt from the fall and be
caught, so I walked along the top of the wall. It was so easy to balance; I felt like a cat strutting through the night, and, as I’d noticed previously, my night vision was excellent.

Halfway around, the wall passed close to an elaborate bedroom balcony. Candlelight flickered within the room. I paused, looking inside, trying to see whose room this was. It was simply furnished with a plain bed, a dresser, and a wardrobe. After a few moments I noticed the governess moving inside. She blew out the candle and left.

The family were gathering for dinner. I could hear the chatter from the dining room below. The gentle clatter of places being set echoed up through the house. I knew only that my sensitive ears could make out these distant and compelling sounds. They told me a story, almost conveying the image of the act into my mind. I could see the servants rushing around; every movement I heard showed me the image in my mind’s eye.

There was one young maid being instructed by the housekeeper.

‘Not like that. Like this.’ Knives and forks and crystal glasses were placed neatly on the table.

The Justice and his wife were in the lounge, drinking fortified wine. I could smell the alcohol.

‘Peatro, don’t play with that toy in here...’ Senora Adimari said firmly.

‘I want to play! I’m bored.’ Peatro stamped his foot in what I now knew was a characteristic display of temper.

I zoned out from the argument that ensued, scanning every spoken word for the sound of her voice. Joanna was not in the room. Or else she was sat so quietly that I could not detect her. Then I heard her name.

‘You’re a lucky man, Marco. There’s many in town would give their right arm for a chance to wed Joanna. Not least that she is the Justice’s daughter.’

‘Yes. I feel lucky.’

I felt sad for Joanna. She was beautiful, and a commodity to these people, just as I had been to my father. I could surely do something to prevent that. My bite would free her, wouldn’t it? I could take her with me as a sister, a companion. We could travel the world. Obtaining wealth would be so easy now. I could take all that I wanted, who could stop me? And I would take Joanna.

My thoughts tumbled away again. My obsession with Joanna confused me yet excited me too. Justifying a friendship helped me make sense of it. Then I remembered Lena. She was dead and had not transformed; I had savaged her. Or had I? Maybe Lena had healed and risen again. I hadn’t stayed around to find out after all. Somehow I knew she hadn’t lived. I knew that Lena lay in a cold dark grave, rotting as every corpse did. Could I bring death again to another innocent?

I hesitated for a moment, surveying the distance between myself and the balcony. My indecision had little to do with fear of falling; I was considering leaving. Then the aroma of Joanna’s perfume wafted up to me from the half open dining room window below. I leapt from the wall onto the balcony before I even acknowledged I wanted to.

It was interesting how my body responded to my every thought. I had unlimited agility and speed. I compared my new flexibility to the circus acts I’d seen as a child, who performed gymnastic and aerial combinations with ease. I swung on the canopy above the balcony, leaping up to catch the bar easily. There was no muscle ache, pain or discomfort in any way. I performed several exercises there, lifting my whole body up and down as though I weighed nothing more than a feather.

I heard the family enter the dining room and dropped silently back down onto the balcony. As I suspected, the doors to the room were unlocked. They did not expect anyone to be able to reach this room. Therefore my entry was made simple. Once inside I headed for the hallway and went in search of Joanna’s room.

I could sense her now. It was like the trace of perfume I’d smelled earlier, though I knew it was more likely her natural essence. It filled the hallway, and I stood silently breathing her in for a moment. Her odour filled me and made me lose my sense of self once more. She was like opium and I thought that my addiction for her might become the focus of my whole revenant existence. I could almost see her image burning in the trail of scent all down the hallway.