Fusion (Explosive #5) (32 page)

But how could I leave Jeremy? He was my best friend. He was the love of my life. He was my other half, my whole heart, my everything. How could I walk away from the greatest man I'd ever known?

Most people would scoff, saying that we’re too young, too inexperienced, too naïve to be so in love, but I knew my heart. It’s been Jeremy’s for longer than I can remember.

They say when you know, you know. I don’t exactly know who
they
are, but they’re right. And I knew. I just didn’t know what I was going to do about my future.

I felt like I was being pulled in two completely different directions, and I had no idea which side would win out.

At least, I didn't until Jeremy made me realize I didn't have to choose—just another reason to love him even more. It still made me wonder, however. Could I really have both? His reassuring kiss made me believe it, and even though we had a lot of talking to do, his kiss put me at ease. We'd figure it out. I wouldn't lose him. I never would, and with my whole heart, I believed it.

But my sister was a different story, even if she was tight-lipped about her feelings. Ever since Jace had surprised us all by shipping off for the Army right after graduation, she'd been in a funk. Jeremy suspected that something had gone down between them before he’d left, but if it had, she hadn't said a word.

I walked down to the gazebo, where Jeremy had said he'd seen her go. Sure enough, she was there when I approached. She was hunched over, her face buried in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking as sobs racked through her. My heart shattered for her.

I knew she'd had a thing for Jace for all of high school, but he'd put her in the friend zone and never let her out. She’d watched from the sidelines for far too long as he’d dated Mallory, who’d hated the close friendship Jace and Lexi shared. She’d pined for him much in the way I had for Jeremy before we’d gotten together. But, unlike my boyfriend, Jace hadn’t seen Lexi that way. Or, at least, that's what he'd claimed.

Pretty much everyone at Navarre High School knew they had a thing for each other except for those two. It didn’t make any sense, and I’d always thought they’d get together, but graduation had come and gone, just like Jace. And now that we were moving, Lexi didn’t know when she’d ever see him again. If she ever would. I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes, so I wanted to do whatever I could to comfort my baby sister.

Lexi's head lifted slightly as she heard my approaching footsteps. I sat next to her on the bench and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. She laid her head in the crook of my arm, her soft sniffles echoing in the gazebo around us.

"Hey, you know Ohio isn't the end of the world, right? I mean, sure, it's not the beach, but think of all the Reds games we can go to now."

Her shoulders shook as she gave a small laugh at the mention of our dad's—and our—baseball team. "Senior year, Sierra. It's my senior year!" Her voice was a cross between a wail and a cry, and my heart hurt for her.

I sighed as I ran soothing circles on her arm. "I know. It sucks, and it seems unfair that, after spending nearly your whole life in Navarre, you're going to have to graduate in a new place. But don't you think, if Dad had any other choice, he'd have found a way to stay?"

She nodded. "I know. And I understand, but like you said, it just seems so unfair. Not that I’d ever ask Dad to stay… Not with Grandma’s condition. It’s just…" Her voice cracked as another wave of tears streamed down her cheeks. "We can't leave. Not now. Now that he's finally—" She stopped abruptly as her face reddened to the color of the ripest tomato.

I raised an eyebrow. Okay, maybe Jeremy was right.

"Now that what, Lexi?" I asked, trying—and failing—not to sound too interested.

She sighed and shook her head. "Nothing. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. In three weeks, we'll be in Ohio and Jace will be… God knows where."

I gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, it's called phones. E-mail. Technology is a pretty cool thing," I said. "You guys are best friends and have been for years. A little bit of distance isn't going to change that."

Lexi sniffled and shrugged. "Do you think so?"

"Even if he won't admit it out loud, Jace cares about you," I told her. "One way or another, he'll find you."

She wiped her eyes, looking hopeful for the first time since my parents had told us the big news. "God, I hope you're right, Sierra. I just… I can't imagine my life without him, you know?" she asked.

It was rhetorical, but I nodded anyway. If she felt even a fraction for Jace what I felt for Jeremy, then yeah. I definitely got it.

And that was when a fierce wave of determination crashed over me. Even if it meant saying goodbye to my family and working three jobs to pay my bills, I was not leaving Jeremy. Not if I could help it.

She must've seen the look on my face, because she sat up and wiped her nose. "God, Sierra, I'm sorry. I was only thinking of myself. What about you? What are you going to do?" Her eyes widened. "Oh, God. You're going to stay here and I'll be all alone. I know that sounds selfish, but I can't help it. I feel like everything is falling apart. What will I do without you there? Hell, I’ll even miss that big lug Jeremy. I’ve gotten a little used to him being around for the last…oh, ten or so years," she said, giving me a smile and a shoulder bump.

I laughed and pulled her in for a quick side hug. I was lucky to have such a close relationship with my sister, and I couldn't fathom being so far apart. "Jeremy knows. He walked in right after you took off. Don't worry about us. We'll figure it out. We always do."

She sniffled and gave me a watery smile. "I need to find me a Jeremy," she quipped.

As we walked back to the house, silence descended on us. I was pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing, but we didn't voice it.

She'd already found her Jeremy, and he was now gone.

The question was…

Would she ever find him again?

I made a silent prayer right then and there that Lexi would one day find a man who made her as happy as I was. Whether it ended up being Jace McAllister or someone else, I didn’t care. I just wanted her happy, loved, and in love.

What every woman deserves.

The house was strangely silent when we returned from our talk at the gazebo. I wondered where Jeremy had gone, but knowing him, he was already making plans for the future—our future. Even though I didn’t know what was on his mind, I trusted that, whatever it was, it would work out for us. Anything else wasn’t an option. I wanted to go find him. After all, we only had a few short weeks before the big moving day. Dad had to be there by the end of June, and it was already early into the month. Plus, if I wanted to get into college in the fall, I had to make up my mind as soon as possible as to whether I was staying or going.

Lexi entered the kitchen, and I followed. Our parents’ heads were together, and they both looked up from the kitchen table when they heard us come in. Mom was on her feet and quickly crossed the room, drawing Lexi into her arms.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know this is a shock," she said, and the pain was evident in her voice. She didn't like that her daughter was hurting, yet at the same time, she knew that it was important for her husband to be close with his mother for however much time she had left.

Dad rose and joined them. "If there was any other way…" he said, his voice trailing off.

Lexi pulled back and nodded. "I know. I don't like it, but I understand. It's what you have to do." She sighed and swiped at the tears running down her cheeks. “We better get season tickets to the Reds for this.”

Dad laughed and kissed the top of Lexi’s head. “You got it, Lexi,” he promised, a glimmer in his eye that told me he was already on it.

As I looked at the three of them, my heart ached. I love my family. We’d always been close, and I couldn’t imagine being far away from them. I also couldn’t imagine being far away from Jeremy or his family.

As if she could read my thoughts, Mom looked over at me. "Are you okay, Sierra?"

I blinked back fresh tears. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, I have a lot of thinking to do. And I need to talk to Jeremy. Did he say anything to you guys before he left? I kinda ran out on him to make sure Lexi was okay."

My parents exchanged a glance that made me curious.

"Umm," Mom stammered. "We did speak. He said to tell you he'd pick you up in a few hours."

I gave her a brief nod then sighed. “Mom, what do I do?” I asked.

Her smile was soft. “Don’t worry about that right now, honey. Wait until you talk to Jeremy. Just know, whatever you choose to do, your father and I love and support you.”

She gave me a kiss on the forehead, and I closed my eyes. Without even talking to Jeremy, I knew what I was going to do.

I’d miss my family like hell, but at least I wouldn’t be missing him.

There was a confidence on Jeremy's face I couldn't quite understand. He’d called the house, asking for me to meet him down at the beach. After practically sprinting there, I found him staring out at the ocean. He must’ve sensed my presence, because he turned as soon as I was near. His smile was soft, causing my heart to flutter as I wondered what he was going to say.

"The one thing I'm really going to miss is this gazebo. It's where I first saw you. Where we first spoke. It's where I fell in love with you, and it's where I first told you. But it's just a place. It's just a structure. It's not my home, Sierra. And, if you're not here, then this gazebo means nothing."

"What…what are you saying?" I asked, breathless. I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but I needed to hear the words. Was Jeremy really not forcing me to choose?

He grasped my hands and pulled me to him until our chests were pressed together. Then he dropped our hands and wove his arms around my waist, holding me close. The moonlight illuminated his handsome face as he gazed down at me.

"What I'm saying, Sierra, is that you're not moving." He said it so matter-of-factly.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he dipped his head and captured my lips, effectively shutting me up.

"We—we're moving. I'm coming with you. I discussed with your parents—and with mine. And, when they realized I was coming with or without their blessings, they gave them to me. In fact, your dad—after threatening me within an inch of my life—offered to let me stay with you guys until I can find a job and get on my feet since out-of-state tuition will be a bitch."

My eyes widened as my heart nearly leapt into my throat. That's what he'd talked to my parents about? And they'd agreed? I wanted to jump in his arms, both thrilled and excited at the prospect, but I hesitated. It all seemed so perfect, but was he sure? Was that really what he wanted?

"I can't ask you to do that, Jeremy. Just pack up and leave your whole life behind? What about school? Football? Your family?” I protested even though I didn’t want to. I had to give him that: the chance to back out so he didn’t have to uproot his entire life for me.

"Don't you get it, Sierra? You are my whole life. You are my family. Without you, I'm nothing. If you tell me to stay here, then you're packing up and taking my whole life with you. I'd be just a shell, and a pretty damn miserable one. So please. Take me with you. Or stay here with me. Just don't…just don't leave me. You promised you wouldn’t."

"Are you sure?" Even though I didn't want to, I gave him one last out, as halfhearted as it was.

"Sierra, the only reason I'm not on one knee right now is because we just graduated high school and your dad might rescind his offer if I did so. But rest assured. As soon as I'm on my feet and I think we're ready, there will be a ring on that finger. I'm never letting you go."

His impassioned plea was my undoing. It might have been selfish, but I wasn't going to argue with him. I was going to take what he was offering and not look back.

"Ever?" I asked, my heart soaring at the idea of being Mrs. Jeremy Banks.

Sure, I might have barely been out of high school and I had my whole life ahead of me, but I couldn't imagine Jeremy not being a part of said life. We'd been the only two peas in our pod for so long that I no longer knew where he ended and I began. I didn't want to find out.