Fumbled (The Girls of Beachmont #1) (27 page)

T A B O R

I almost stopped her
from leaving the room.

When she grabbed my face
to make me look at her, I had to fight the urge to pull her to me and kiss her.
Dani’s fingers touching my face was almost too much to bear. I heard everything
she was saying to me, but I didn’t
want
to
listen to it.

I inhaled deeply, the
remnants of her flower-scented shampoo lingering in the air. The night I’d left
her place, I was all but on my knees begging her to reconsider. And yet, she
showed up to the hospital and my house…and just like that, I was supposed to
forget everything?

Dani told me that she
would choose me over her career. But would she? Or was that something
convenient to say, considering that she hadn’t truly lost anything?

I had stood in front of
her like an idiot, waiting for her to change her mind about me. About us. But
she let me walk away and made no attempts to fix it. I had to assume that’s
what she wanted.

When Mom told me that
she and Abbi couldn’t make it to the opening game because of an appointment, I
was relieved. I’d already endured countless questions about what had happened
between us, and when the topic came up, I found an excuse to get off the phone.
It wouldn’t be as easy to do in person.

But then she was there.

I thought my eyes were
playing a trick on me, because Dani wouldn’t be at my football game. I saw her
in the first quarter, but kept focused on the game, delivering one of the best
openings of my career. When halftime arrived, I couldn’t ignore the pull to
look into the stands again. I didn’t spot her and knew I was losing my mind. I
don’t recall a thing Coach said in the locker room, because I was replaying the
last time I had seen Dani and wishing it had been different for us.

“I don’t think I’ve ever
been so disappointed in you,” Mom chastised when she walked into the room. “Why
did you talk to her like that?”

“Mom, please. Don’t.”

It had only been a day
and a half, but I was antsy and being tethered to a machine that would do
nothing to get me back on the field pissed me off.

“Don’t speak to me like
that,” Mom warned. “First you lash out at the doctors and now Dani…I raised you
better than that. You didn’t have to be so rude.”

“Look, she’s the one who
wanted to end things for
her
career.
I’m just giving her what she wanted all along.”

Waking up and seeing
Dani by my side when my eyes opened had meant everything to me. Unfortunately,
my happiness at seeing her was short-lived. I knew my words had hurt Dani, but
how could I console her when I’d had everything I knew taken away? Looking at
her pissed me off. It was misdirected, but I didn’t care.

“You’re not giving her
what she wants. You’re being stubborn and taking the easy way out.”

“How are you going to
tell me what she wants? I was there. She wanted a break.”

“And have you talked to
her since? No. I didn’t think so. But I have.”

“What?” I leaned
forward, curious by the revelation. “When?”

“It doesn’t matter
when
—point is I talked to her when
you didn’t, and she was miserable. She went to that game to support
you
doing something
you
love, because she loves
you
.
That’s what someone does when they love someone else—they compromise,
they sacrifice, they step out of their comfort zone.”

“How was I supposed to
know? I haven’t heard anything from her since I left her house. Nothing.”

“And did you reach out
to her? Did you tell her that when you walked out of her door that night, you
waited on the porch for her to come after you? Did you tell her that you
regretted that you’d even walked out in the first place?”

“I don’t want to talk
about this. Not right now.”

“Mom, can I talk to him
alone?” Abbi asked.

Mom nodded and left the
room and I knew I was in for another verbal lashing. Abbi waited until the door
closed behind Mom and walked over, slapping my bicep.

“What was that for?” I
demanded, rubbing the spot she hit.

“For being a jerk. I get
that you’re pissed and all, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. If you don’t
want to be with Dani, then you need to man up and tell her, but don’t pretend
that you’re giving her what she wants.”

“So you’re her fan now?
Last week, you wouldn’t shut up about how selfish she was about the whole
break
thing.”

“That was before she
dropped everything to be by your side.”

I rolled my eyes and
reached for the TV remote that was on the bedside table, but Abbi snatched it
from my hand and moved it away. I glared at my sister, who was supposed to have
my
back, and she looked at me with
pure disappointment.

“For the last two years,
I’ve heard every reason for you not being involved. You don’t want to date
‘regular’ girls because you don’t know what their intentions are. You don’t
want to date athletes because of conflicting schedules. You don’t want to date
celebrities like Natasha because it’s all about using you for the attention.
Well I hate to point it out, but Dani is perfect for you. She loves you in
spite of who you are.”

“Yeah. I know,” I
muttered.

“So what are you gonna
do about it?”

“I can’t deal with this
right now. I just want to talk to the doctors and see what I can do, how can I
get back to playing.”

“And if you can’t?”

“If I can’t?” I thought
for a moment and shook my head. “I can’t think about that right now. Okay?”

***

Abbi and Mom drove me to
see Doctor Reynolds, the orthopedist. He threw around a mouthful of big words
that amounted to a bunch of nothing as far as I was concerned. None of them
told me how I could get back on the field.

But I already knew.

The moment I heard the
pop on the field, I realized my career was over. I didn’t want to believe it
and hoped to God I was wrong, but I knew it.

The exam room was heavy
with unsaid words, and it was my fist connecting with the table that broke the
silence. Mom’s eyes were sad, and she walked over to console me but I shook my
head shortly.

“Not right now, Mom.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I
wish there were something I could say or do to make this better for you.”

“What about my team?
What am I supposed to tell them?”

“Coach already knows,”
she reminded me.

Abbi was pacing back and
forth when she stopped abruptly and turned to face me. “This isn’t the end of
the world, T. Yeah, it fucking sucks, but you can still walk and do the things
you want to do.”

“What else do I have,
Abbi? Football has been my life since I was a kid. I don’t know anything else,”
I argued.

Mom stood next to the
table and reached for my hand. I knew she had something to say but was gauging
my mood before speaking. She had a way of grounding me, without being
insulting, but sometimes it was hard to hear. I knew this was one of those
times before she ever opened her mouth.

“Football isn’t your
life. It’s what you do.”

“I know,” I conceded.
“It’s not the end of the world.”

Mom shook her head and
smiled, her eyes wet with tears. “Do you remember why you start playing
football?”

I didn’t answer; we both
knew why I had started playing. I was an angry kid and fighting became my
outlet because of the bullying. I was a scrawny kid that stuttered, always
picked on. But they stopped picking when I punched Riley Connors square in the
nose. Unfortunately my newfound strength spurred me to seek out trouble, until
Dad put an end to it.

“You can’t just go around picking fights every day. You
will
come up against someone bigger or stronger, and then what? If you like
hitting so much, play football. Channel that energy into something productive,”
Dad challenged.

I was only eight and had
never really thought about playing football, but Dad put his time into teaching
me.

We spent almost every
afternoon throwing the ball around, Dad coaching my form. As I got bigger our
training moved to a gym, where I started lifting weights with Dad encouraging
me to continue.

And then he got sick.

He wasn’t able to go
outside with me anymore, and trips to the gym were nonexistent. But I did
everything I could to keep going, because Dad was proud of what we had
accomplished.

When he died, it was the
only thing I had left.

“Before your dad died,
the two of you were always outside, but football was never your passion. You
liked spending time with your dad,” Mom said, breaking my thoughts.

“Yeah, I did.”

“And he loved spending
time with you. But football was
his
dream
for you because it gave you something to do. Maybe it’s time you figure out
what it is
you
want.”

I huffed and considered
her words, but came up with nothing. Football had been my focus for so long
that I hadn’t thought of anything else until I’d started my foundation.

“Your dad would be proud
of you,” Mom said. “Everything you’ve accomplished is beyond anything we
imagined for you. But the game isn’t worth your health, Tabor. You’ll find
something else that sparks your interest, and knowing you, you’ll be great at
it too.”

“Easy on the ego, Mom,”
Abbi teased. “He’s not perfect.”

“No, he’s not. Far from
it, actually,” Mom said as she squeezed my hand.

“How did we go from
talking about how awesome I am to how much I suck?”

“No one said you suck,
honey.” Mom smiled.

“Surgery,” I scoffed,
repeating the doctor’s words. I was no stranger to the scalpel, but allowing
them to do what they were suggesting would essentially end my football career.

“Any idea what you want
to do with the rest of your life, T?” Abbi said.

“Well, considering I was
told only an hour ago that I officially need a career change, I might need some
time. Like at least a day,” I deadpanned.

“Okay, well I was
thinking maybe you could be a car salesman…you know, if the modeling thing
doesn’t work out. Or what about rodeo clown?” Abbi mocked, and I laughed.

“No rodeo-clowning, but
maybe he could be a boring suit-and-tie guy. Can you imagine him sitting still
all day?” Mom asked.

“He wouldn’t last for
more than an afternoon,” Abbi snorted. “He needs something active. Like water
aerobics.”

Mom and Abbi kept making
jokes and I welcomed the distraction. I needed their words to remind me that I
had things more important than sports to keep me going.

“Football might be
ending, but how many people get the chance to start over and find something
they really love?” Mom asked. “Whatever comes next, I think you’re going to do
amazing.”

“You know what you’d be
really good at?” Abbi asked, all traces of humor gone from her tone. She looked
at Mom, and it was as if they were having a conversation made of weird eye
twitches.

“Just say it,” I
demanded, forcing a laugh.

She looked at Mom and
raised a brow before looking at me again. “Coaching.”

One word. But it held
endless possibilities. In a way, I did coach already. Whether it was with my
teammates or the kids that my foundation helped, it was something that came
naturally to me. Mom grabbed her things and walked to the door with Abbi,
leaving me to consider my options. Before she walked out, she turned to face me
and flashed her knowing smile.

“We’ll be waiting in the
lobby,” Mom said. “But I want you to think about something else.”

“What’s that?”

“When you picture the
next phase, is Dani a part of that future or not?”

T A B O R

After four days of
hobbling around on crutches to keep the weight off my knee, I was finally able
to walk on my own. From the outside, I looked well enough to get back on the
field and do what I did best—crush people. But inside my body was another
story. When I calmed down and took stock of what was going on, I spoke with
Doctor Reynolds again—first apologizing for being a jerk, and then to
find out what the best option was for my situation.

My agent was hounded
with requests for interviews, and the foundation had seen a huge increase in
calls as well. Unfortunately, not all of them were to help the kids we served.

Mom and Abbi were
waiting for me because I had a press conference that I needed to attend with
Coach. The night before, I had turned on the evening news and caught Kip
Stanley reporting from outside of Quakes Sportsplex where he began telling the
city the latest on my condition.

“In a press conference with Coach Jackson this afternoon, he
updated fans on JT Hunter’s status. If you’ll recall, he sustained an injury
during the third quarter of the season opener.”

“JT will have to undergo surgery on his knee at some point,
but right now, he’s fine. Unfortunately, it means we’re without a critical
player,” Coach Jackson said.

My teammates were supportive
and offered to help in any way they could, but we knew there was nothing left.
I’d have to go clean out my locker, and the plan was to go when no one was
around. I wanted to see the guys and wish them luck on the rest of the season,
but seeing me was a reminder of what could happen to them. I’d see them, but
I’d be stronger and in better spirits because I didn’t need or want their pity.

As for Dani, we hadn’t
spoken since she’d left my house. It was nearly a week and a half since we’d
argued at her condo and four days since I was admitted to the hospital. At my
request, Mom and Abbi agreed not to contact Dani. They weren’t happy with me,
but what happened between Dani and me was our business, and I needed to take
care of it on my own. If we had any chance of fixing the mess we’d created, we
needed to do it alone—with no outside input or meddling.

“You ready for this?”
Abbi asked as we walked toward the door that led to the press conference.

“Let’s just get this
over with,” I grumbled as we stepped into the room.

Several of the local
news reporters were waiting to get their sound bite for the late news, and I
had to face the music. Mom and Abbi stood off to the side, prepared for the
onslaught.

Coach Jackson walked in
and we took the two seats available while flashes were going off.

“JT, how are you
feeling?” one female reporter asked, louder than the others.

“I’m doing good. Better
every day.” I smiled. “Thanks.”

“Is it true you’re out
for the rest of the season?” the familiar voice of Kip Stanley asked.

“No,” I answered before
quickly adding, “I’m out for good. No more football for me.”

There was indecipherable
chatter among the reporters and the onlookers, making me feel uncomfortable.

“How do you feel about
that?” Kip followed up.

“It sucks. I’ve enjoyed
playing and the Quakes are my second family. The guys, the staff, the
fans—I’m going to miss all of it.”

“Coach, what are you
going to do without Hunter?”

Coach patted my back and
smiled for the cameras. “There’s no replacing a player like this guy. He’s one
of a kind and his teammates are going to miss him.”

“JT! Do you have
anything to say to the San Diego fans?”

I looked over to see Mom
and Abbi smiling proudly and I nodded my head toward them. “Playing here, in
this city, has been a dream come true, and I want to thank everyone for the
support and making my time here the best. Your emails and well wishes mean more
than you know.”

The questions continued
for another ten minutes, most asking the same thing in a different way. I
enjoyed it because I knew it would be my last, and I was still trying to come
to terms with that reality.

Mom, Abbi, and I walked
to the waiting SUV, putting a temporary end to the speculation about what had
happened to JT Hunter.

I climbed into the
driver’s seat and started the engine, gripping the steering wheel tightly. We
remained still for a bit and then I glanced in the rearview mirror, meeting
Mom’s eyes.

“I need to make a stop
before we go home,” I told them.

***

It was already seven
when we got to Dani’s condo, but from the light flickering off her TV, I knew
she was home. An uncomfortable silence settled in the car when I turned the
engine off, and for a moment I second-guessed what I was about to do.

“I’ll be right back,” I
said to them before stepping out.

“Go,” Abbi demanded with
a toothy grin.

When Mom had posed the
question of whether I saw Dani in my future, the immediate answer was yes. I
knew it the night I’d walked out of her condo, and I knew it as soon as she’d
shown up to the hospital and tried to see me. Dani belonged in my
future—of that I was certain. But I needed to tell her myself when I
could stand in front of her and look into her eyes. Angry and bitter while I
tried to come to terms with my future was not the right time. Besides, after my
shitty attitude and the way I’d lashed out when I was told I was done with
football, I needed to apologize to her.

I walked up the steps
and took a breath before I knocked on the door. The porch light turned on and I
stepped back so I wasn’t intruding on her personal space, only it wasn’t a
woman’s figure approaching the other side of the door. When it swung open, a
blond-haired man, thinner and much smaller in stature, stood in front of me.

“I should have called,”
I muttered, feeling like an idiot. “I was just stopping by to see Dani for a
second.”

The guy remained still,
his jaw slack, and he didn’t say anything but I could tell he recognized me. I
extended my hand and he hesitated before shaking mine.

“JT,” I said. “Sorry to
interrupt. I just…can you tell…never mind.”

I turned and started
walking down the steps, but paused and looked over my shoulder at the man who
was still staring at me.

“Treat her good, man.
Don’t let her get away. Trust me, you’ll regret it if you do.”

He remained frozen in
place, not saying anything, but as I turned to walk to the car, I saw someone
walking downstairs. The moment I spotted Dani, I knew I had to at least walk
over and say hello, so I did.

“What are you doing
here?” she asked as she walked toward me.

“I just got out finished
with my press conference…I wanted to see you,” I said.

“Yeah, I saw…How are
you?” She stepped forward, looking for visible signs of injury.

There was at least five
feet between us and I hated it. I wanted to hug her, to tell her everything I
had thought about since she’d left my room the other day. But it wasn’t fair to
her because she had company.

 
“I’m okay, I guess. Better.” I smiled and
nodded my head toward the audience behind us. “I didn’t mean to interrupt
anything.”

Anything
.

The word ripped
something inside of me, but I didn’t have the right to be mad or jealous. In my
quest to do right by her, my silence told her that I was done. What was she
supposed to do?

“You’re not interrupting
anything, Tabor.” She smiled and looked over her shoulder. “Will, get Vi, come
meet Tabor.”

“Will?” I repeated,
recalling the names I’d heard Dani talk about before. I knew that Vi and Will
lived an hour or so away, but until that moment I’d never met them.

“Yeah, his band had a
gig here last night, so he and Vi stayed with me.”

A surge of relief shot
through me and I stepped forward, almost reaching for her hand, but I didn’t
want to overstep. I wasn’t sure where things stood with us and it wasn’t my
place to be presumptuous.

“Can I talk to you, for
just a minute? I won’t keep you long,” I promised.

“Yeah, just a second.”
She walked to the door and said something to her friends before meeting me at
the bottom of the steps. Dani was so close, but I don’t think I’d felt further
from her than I did at that moment.

“I wanted to apologize.
I know I was a jerk at the hospital and the other day at my house. I feel like
a dick for taking it out on you—you don’t deserve that. I just need to
tell you in person that I didn’t mean any of it. Hurting you is not something I
ever wanted to do, and I just hope that maybe you can forgive me.”

“I understand, Tabor. It
was a lot to take in…I get it,” she answered, flashing a shy smile. “I just
wish things happened differently.”

I reached out for her
hand, and when she didn’t pull it away I took it as a sign that I was free to
continue. I’d stand there all night if I had to.

“I need you, Dani,” I
admitted.

“You don’t need anyone,”
she revealed, no hint of bitterness in her tone.

“That’s not true.” I
shook my head. “I need the woman I love to give me another chance. I came here
to tell you that, Dani, to make sure you know that I’m a jerk and said some
pretty stupid things, and I meant none of them. I took out my shit on the one
person I
want
in my life.”

“Tabor,” she whispered
as she looked at the ground. When her eyes met mine they were glassy, and I
hoped it was because she felt the same way.

“Do you think that we
can start over?”

She closed her eyes and
took a deep breath and my hope started to vanish. “I don’t want to start over,”
she admitted. “I want to move on.”

I didn’t expect her to
jump into my arms or anything, but moving on wasn’t on my radar either. I
thought we had something worth working on, but it was clear she didn’t.

“Okay.” I nodded and
stared at our hands before releasing hers. “I understand.”

She looked up at me and
shook her head with a smile on her face. “No, you don’t get it…crap, I’m
totally fumbling this.”

“Did you just use a
football reference?” I asked, unsure
where
she was going with her rambling.

“No…yes…I didn’t mean
to…What I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to start over because it means
making the same mistakes, or worse. I want to move on…
with
you.”

“That was mean,” I
scoffed, stepping closer until she was in my arms. She was pressed firmly
against my chest and I waited until she tilted her face to look into my eyes.
“You did that on purpose.”

“Maybe,” she teased.

“I love you, Dani.”

“It took you long
enough.” She smiled.

I moved my face down to
her because I needed to feel her lips against mine. We had spent too much time
apart and I had missed her more than I thought possible. Just as we were about
to kiss, a horn honked, startling both of us.

“What the hell?” she
shouted, looking over my shoulder.

“Abbi,” I grumbled,
turning to walk toward the car, but Dani reached for my hand and pulled me
back.

She wrapped her arms
around my neck and my hands found her hips when our mouths finally connected in
a kiss. I had missed everything about Dani, and I was determined to never miss
it again.

The Beginning…