Fulfilled (17 page)

She wanted to smile. He’d added that last as an afterthought. As if. She was apparently his whole package, and it felt immensely flattering, but still…“I’d like to take some time to think about it.”

“Uh-huh. No surprise. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m an extremely determined man.”

Jonathon had gone back to his breakfast. She stared at him, and he returned her look with a pleased smile. He seemed sincere in his acceptance of Trevor’s assertion. He was waiting on her, leaving it up to her. She decided to open the negotiations.

“So how will this, uh, ménage proceed? If it turns into one?”

Trevor took her hand. “Our schedules mesh. We’ll spend the evenings together after work, and Jon can join us later. He says there’s room for me to stay here in his quarters with you for now. We’ll find our way, honey.”

“And sex?” Was that her? Indeed it was. She intended to make up for lost time.

“I don’t have to like it, Lois, but there will be times you’ll be alone with both of us. And I for one, am not going to wait for Trevor to show his ugly face before I can fuck you.” Jonathon’s voice was full of wry humor. “I’m not gonna think about him doing you while I’m not around.”

“He’s a possessive son of a bitch, honey, but he wants what you need.”

Nobody ever cared what she wanted, let alone needed, before. No one protected her, cared about her, or loved her. Her dad might disagree, but amoeba mom hadn’t left her much of him. She never had a boyfriend, never thought she’d have a man, and now she had two. If she wanted two. She wanted Jonathon, no contest. And Trevor held no less appeal since that first night she saw him in the lounge, but she hadn’t allowed herself to think about him because it felt disloyal. Witness how Jonathon felt about Maurice. He could barely stand for the other Dom to be in her presence.

She wanted to be sure. “Jonathon?”

“Let’s give it some time, like Trevor suggests.”

She supposed she had to be content with that, recognizing his tone. He was finished with the discussion.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with the two men, looking at work schedules, talking about life in general. The club looked so different in the daytime, empty of people and activity, but there was the sense of waiting, of anticipation, not unlike how she felt. Both Jonathon and Trevor touched her all the time. Not in an overtly sexual manner, but casual caresses, the drift of fingers across her skin, a kiss on her hair, on her nose, just because they could. She liked it. And she really liked the fact they weren’t competing. She was going to talk to Kennedy though. Girlfriend stuff.

* * * *

“A ménage? Holy shit. I mean shoot.” Kennedy cast a chagrined glance toward where Nathan sat dismantling the carefully constructed block structure Graham built for him. “When you kick over the traces, you really kick ‘em!”

“I know. I amaze myself. Do you think I’m insane?”

“Heck no, Lois. If you want two men and they want you, how’s that translate into insanity? I mean, there’ll be some logistics to work out. People outside of the club won’t get you, and there will be some talk, you know, raised eyebrows. But Jon intimidates the crap out of anybody, and Trevor has solid contacts because of the work he does. It shouldn’t be too big a problem.”

Lois hadn’t given a thought to the opinions of the outside world. Should she? No one paid her any mind before. But she supposed this would be different. Well, she’d figure it out. Kennedy was going on about other things.

“I suppose having two men for sex is great.” A sly nudge. “But what about all that laundry? And cooking for two picky palates. And having
two
opinionated males trying to tell you what to do all the time.”

“You’re pushing, Kennedy.” Graham sauntered into the room, looking resplendent in a blazer over a dark shirt and dark pants.

“Nope. Just giving her fair warning about the vagaries of men.” Kennedy twinkled up at her husband, and he dropped a kiss on her forehead.

Lois soaked it up. She fully knew how that sweet affection felt.

“You ready?”

Kennedy smoothed the front of her loose, silky dress. “I am. Thanks for looking after Nathan, Lois. Madison hasn’t been up for much of a social life until recently. We won’t be late, though.”

“Take your time. Nathan and I will be fine. And thanks for the support on my new relationship. Things have gone so quickly.”

“Well, Trevor gave you time, right? You think on it, and we’ll talk some more when we get home. Graham knows more on the subject than me, so we’ll pick his brain, too.”

The couple prepared to leave. Nathan had a mild meltdown, something that spoke positively about his connection to them. Lois soothed him, and they sat to build fantasy buildings with little colored blocks marked with numbers and letters. When he tired she gave him a drink then put him down for a nap and lay beside him, staring at the ceiling and pondering the idea of a life with two men. Both of whom purported to love her. She didn’t want to close her eyes in case she woke up and found it was all just a dream. She smirked a little. Dreams didn’t leave one’s private parts pleasantly sore from extremely athletic sex. She reminded herself to sign up for that yoga class.

Trevor wanted to spend more time with her, both alone and with Jonathon. That suited her. Lois throttled the little voice in her head softly suggesting Trevor might want children. He hadn’t expressed any interest during their casual conversation. She hadn’t considered it until now and wasn’t going any further with it. She slipped from the bed, careful not to wake Nathan.

She wandered through the house, touching various items, running her fingertips across the furniture, wondering if she was making the right decision. On one hand it felt too quick, too rushed and overwhelming. On the other it seemed crazy not to jump at the chance. Jonathon and Trevor loved her. She knew she loved Jonathon, couldn’t imagine life without him, and wouldn’t deny her strong attraction to Trevor. It was a different feeling than the one she had for Jonathon, but this wasn’t a competition or a comparison. It was sweeter, gentler, deeper in a different way. She just needed more time to assimilate the two.

Jonathon muttered under his breath, saying something about ingrates. She thought she appreciated how difficult it was for him to accept Trevor taking her along on an overnight trip. She continued to struggle from time to time with his job, the proximity to all those subs, but because she trusted him, she remained silent. And it was more about her issues in any event. Lois had yet to completely accept her average self had attracted a man like Jonathon, let alone Trevor as well.

Trevor was personally providing a security system quote as a favor for an old friend now living in Houston and asked Lois to accompany him. She immediately accepted, without checking with Jonathon first. She knew it was a test, although she tried not to attach much credibility to it. She wanted him to trust her with his heart, too, and this could be an opportunity for them both. Besides, he and Trevor would have discussed it. There were times when she wished to be included in said discussions but thus far had accepted they’d never decide anything she didn’t want or really like.

She curled up on Jonathon’s lap. His big arms looped around her, and she reveled in the warmth. “I want to get to know Trevor better.”

“I know. And I want you to.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, a comical action quite at odds with his sculpted face. “I had you first, after all.”

“Jonathon, this isn’t about who was first. It’s about developing my relationship with Trevor, too. We can’t base this solely on sex.” Well, didn’t that sound Puritan! He was obviously working hard at controlling his laughter, and she thumped his shoulder with her closed fist.

“It’s true, Jonathon. You have to know that, right?”

“I do, sweetheart. I just hate the idea of you sleeping away from me. With Trevor, alone.”

“But I sleep with Trevor every night! At least until you get off work.”

“That’s different. Trevor knows the score.”

“Trevor does indeed know the score.” He materialized from behind the pillar their couch backed up to, stooping to drop a kiss on her eager mouth. “Same score? Different score?”

“Nothing, buddy. Just complaining about your upcoming sleepover with our sub.”

Her two men exchanged one of those speaking glances she couldn’t interpret. Darn it. Jonathon’s possessiveness had reared its domineering head again, although he’d settled as soon as Trevor arrived. What was it costing him in order that her needs be met? Because she wanted Trevor, too.

Divining her thoughts, Jonathon handed her to Trevor, his hands lingering along her flanks. “I’ll get us something to drink.” His hands dropped away, and she followed the direction of his widening gaze.

The man with the disheveled hair and unshaven jaw couldn’t be Patrick. He stared right through her, dark eyes smoldering, lips compressed, a nerve ticking intermittently along his jaw. Lois wanted to go to him and ease his obvious pain and run far and fast. At the same time.

“What the fuck, Patrick?” Jonathon’s voice was packed with concern.

Patrick brushed past him and bellied up to the bar. “Tequila.”

The young sub behind the counter visibly contained her startled reaction and poured a clear liquid into a tumbler. Freehand.

Patrick threw it back and pushed the glass to the sub, wordlessly gesturing for another shot. The corner of his mouth lifted, but he said nothing. Lois carefully took up a position just behind Jonathon and to his right. Trevor was ahead of her, placing himself as an additional shield. The air seethed with tension.

“Pat?”

The laughter erupting past Patrick’s lips made her ears hurt. Pain and something else were encompassed in that sound. He chugged the refill, shrugged, and asked for three more glasses. “Might as well celebrate with me.”

“Doesn’t look like you’re celebrating, Patrick. You look like shit.” Jonathon’s deep voice rumbled with worry.

“Yah, well, I suppose I’ve been hoisted on my own petard.”

Lois took the little shot glass when Patrick glared at her. What were they toasting?

“I fucking well rode your ass. Shit, I rode everybody’s ass. I was so confident, so certain my sub was under my control, had surrendered to me. No problems. Isn’t that what I told you, Jon?”

Her Jonathon actually appeared cautious. But then he respected Patrick. It had nothing to do with size and strength and everything to do with respect and trust. “You did.”

“Well, Madi’s pregnant again.”

Lois warred with envy and concern. Surely a baby was something to be happy about, yet Patrick was anything but.

“She did it without consulting me.”

Trevor and Jonathon’s dismayed faces probably mirrored her own. Surely no woman would cheat on Patrick, least of all Madi. She visibly adored the ground her husband stood on, the very space he occupied.

He laughed again, that same disconcerting sound. “She quit taking her birth control as soon as she got to feeling better. And I knocked her up. It could be a death sentence. I wanted kids, a big family, but she isn’t built for babies. Look at the time she’s already had. She barely got through with our second. I was content with what we already have. And I want
her
. Alive. She won’t terminate the pregnancy.”

No one appeared to know what to say to that. Holy crap on a cracker.

Patrick morosely regarded his drink. “This isn’t going to help. I’d better get back before she figures out I’m insane with all of this. She won’t need one additional ounce of stress. And if this pregnancy works out and she survives, I’m going to put her on the cross and invite everyone we know as witness. Goddamn it.”

He strode away, and they all watched him vanish through the doorway. Abruptly, his head poked back around the casing. “You’ll be my right hand, Jonathon. You tell me if you can’t pull it off, if Lois is going to prove too much of a distraction. I’ll find somebody else. But you figure it out. I won’t be available a lot. I’m taking Madi and the kids to live closer to her family, and I can’t spread myself too thin.”

“It’ll be fine, Patrick. Count on it.”

Patrick nodded and took himself off.

“Kennedy will come back,” Lois offered. “As soon as she hears about this, she’ll be back. And she’s feeling well enough. I’ll be there for Nathan during the day.”

“We’ll pull together, sweetheart. This place is like family.”

Trevor shook his head. “I’ve never seen Patrick like this. Madi is a twenty-four-seven sub, and for her to defy him means she must want to please him more. Big risk to her health. I never thought about raising kids in that kind of relationship.” He swallowed his tequila and grimaced.

Lois hated herself. How could she feel personally hurt when Madi was in such a dangerous predicament and Patrick was at his wits’ end? She was glad both men were engaged in that revelation. It gave her time to school her features and pretend Trevor’s comment hadn’t cut her to the bone. He wanted her, cared about her but hadn’t considered her to be the possible mother of his child. It was okay. They hadn’t spent enough time together to discuss the future and really learn about one another. He hadn’t seen her with Nathan, didn’t have the same sensitivity as Jonathon about procreation. And he didn’t seem to really want children.

She had to get past this silliness. What had she told Jonathon? Supposing they’d met when she was fifty? There’d absolutely be no need for a discussion about children or the lack of them then.

“Are we still on for Saturday, Lois?” Trevor drew her to his side with an arm around her waist.

“Yes, Trevor. I’m looking forward to it.” The infused gaiety in her voice had them both looking, but she believed she carried it off. She glanced at Jonathon, and his grimace immediately morphed into a smile. Well, no relationship was perfect, and theirs was still developing.

“I suggest we take advantage of what might possibly be my last night off for a while.” Jonathon stretched lazily to his full height, and Lois’s eyes were drawn to his magnificent physique, especially the bulge in the front of his jeans.